the price she paid-第56节

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Said　Mildred；　in　a　manner　which　was　astonishingly　unemotional　and　businesslike：　　‘‘I've　not　come　to　tattle　and　to　whine；　Mr。　Crossley。　　I've　hesitated　about　coming　at　all；　partly　because　I've　an　instinct　it's　useless；　partly　because　what　I　have　to　say　isn't　easy。''

Crossley's　expression　hardened。　　The　old　story！　excuses；　excuses；　self…excusesomebody　else　to　blame。

‘‘If　it　hadn't　been　for　Mr。　Ransdellthe　trouble　he　took　with　me；　the　coaching　he　gave　meI'd　have　been　a　ridiculous　failure　at　the　very　first　rehearsal。　　But　it　is　to　Mr。　Ransdell　that　my　failure　is　due。''

‘‘My　dear　Miss　Gower；''　said　Crossley；　polite　but　cold；　‘‘I　regret　hearing　you　say　that。　　The　fact　is　very　different。　　Not　until　you　had　done　soso　unacceptably　at　several　rehearsals　that　news　of　it　reached　me　by　another　waynot　until　I　myself　went　to　Mr。　Ransdell　about　you　did　he　admit　that　there　could　be　a　possibility　of　a　doubt　of　your　succeeding。　　I　had　to　go　to　rehearsal　myself　and　directly　order　him　to　restore　Miss　Esmond　and　lay　you　off。''

Mildred　was　not　unprepared。　　She　received　this　tranquilly。　　‘‘Mr。　Ransdell　is　a　very　clever　man；''　said　she　with　perfect　good　humor。　　‘‘I've　no　hope　of　convincing　you；　but　I　must　tell　my　side。''

And　clearly　and　simply；　with　no　concealments　through　fear　of　disturbing　his　high　ideal　of　her　ladylike　deli…　cacy；　she　told　him　the　story。　　He　listened；　seated　well　back　in　his　tilted　desk…chair；　his　gaze　upon　the　ceiling。　When　she　finished　he　held　his　pose　a　moment；　then　got　up　and　paced　the　length　of　the　office　several　times；　his　hands　in　his　pockets。　　He　paused；　looked　keenly　at　her；　a　good…humored　smile　in　those　eyes　of　his　so　fascinating　to　women　because　of　their　frank　wavering　of　an　inconstancy　it　would　indeed　be　a　triumph　to　seize　and　hold。　Said　he：

‘‘And　your　bad　throat？　　Did　Ransdell　give　you　a　germ？''

She　colored。　　He　had　gone　straight　at　the　weak　point。

‘‘If　you'd　been　able　to　sing；''　he　went　on；　‘‘nobody　could　have　done　you　up。''

She　could　not　gather　herself　together　for　speech。

‘‘Didn't　you　know　your　voice　wasn't　reliable　when　you　came　to　me？''

‘‘Yes；''　she　admitted。

‘‘And　wasn't　that　the　REAL　reason　you　had　given　up　grand　opera？''　pursued　he　mercilessly。

‘‘The　reason　was　what　I　told　youlack　of　money；''　replied　she。　　‘‘I　did　not　go　into　the　reason　why　I　lacked　money。　　Why　should　I　when；　even　on　my　worst　days；　I　could　get　through　all　my　part　in　a　musical　comedy　except　songs　that　could　be　cut　down　or　cut　out？　　If　I　could　have　made　good　at　acting；　would　you　have　given　me　up　on　account　of　my　voice？''

‘‘Not　if　you　had　been　good　enough；''　he　admitted。

‘‘Then　I　did　not　get　my　engagement　on　false　pretenses？''

‘‘No。　　You　are　right。　　Still；　your　fall…down　as　a　singer　is　the　important　fact。　　Don't　lose　sight　of　it。''

‘‘I　shan't；''　said　she　tersely。

His　eyes　were　frankly　laughing。　　‘‘As　to　Ransdell　what　a　clever　trick！　　He's　a　remarkable　man。　　If　he　weren't　so　shrewd　in　those　little　ways；　he　might　have　been　a　great　man。　　Same　old　storyjust　a　little　too　smart；　and　so　always　doing　the　little　thing　and　missing　the　big　thing。　　Yes；　he　went　gunning　for　youand　got　you。''　　He　dropped　into　his　chair。　　He　thought　a　moment；　laughed　aloud；　went　on：　　‘‘No　doubt　he　has　worked　that　same　trick　many　a　time。　　I've　suspected　it　once　or　twice；　but　this　time　he　fooled　me。　　He　got　you；　Miss　Gower；　and　I　can　do　nothing。　　You　must　see　that　I　can't　look　after　details。　　And　I　can't　give　up　as　invaluable　a　man　as　Ransdell。　　If　I　put　you　back；　he'd　put　you　outwould　make　the　piece　fail　rather　than　let　you　succeed。''

Mildred　was　gazing　somberly　at　the　floor。

‘‘It's　hard　linesdevilish　hard　lines；''　he　went　on　sympathetically。　　‘‘But　what　can　I　do？''

‘‘What　can　I　do？''　said　Mildred。

‘‘Do　as　all　people　do　who　succeedmeet　the　conditions。''

‘‘I'm　not　prepared　to　go　as　far　as　that；　at　least　not　yet；''　said　she　with　bitter　sarcasm。　　‘‘Perhaps　when　I'm　actually　starving　and　in　rags''

‘‘A　very　distressing　future；''　interrupted　Crossley。　‘‘ButI　didn't　make　the　world。　　Don't　berate　me。　Be　sensibleand　be　honest；　Miss　Gower；　and　tell　me　how　could　I　possibly　protect　you　and　continue　to　give　successful　shows？　　If　you　can　suggest　any　feasible　way；　I'll　take　it。''

‘‘No；　there　isn't　any　way；''　replied　she；　rising　to　go。

He　rose　to　escort　her　to　the　hall　door。　　‘‘Personally；　the　Ransdell　sort　of　thing　isdistasteful　to　me。　　Perhaps　if　I　were　not　so　busy　I　might　be　forced　by　my　own　giddy　misconduct　to　take　less　high　ground。　　I've　observed　that　the　best　that　can　be　said　for　human　nature　at　its　best　is　that　it　is　as　well　behaved　as　its　real　temptations　permit。　　He　was　making　you；　you　know。　　You've　admitted　it。''

‘‘There's　no　doubt　about　that；''　said　Mildred。

‘‘Mind　you；　I'm　not　excusing　him。　　I'm　simply　explaining　him。　　If　your　voice　had　been　all　rightif　you　could　have　stood　to　any　degree　the　test　he　put　you　to；　the　test　of　standing　aloneyou'd　have　defeated　him。　　He　wouldn't　have　dared　go　on。　　He's　too　shrewd　to　think　a　real　talent　can　be　beaten。''

The　strong　lines；　the　latent　character；　in　Mildred's　face　were　so　strongly　in　evidence　that　looking　at　her　then　no　one　would　have　thought　of　her　beauty　or　even　of　her　sex；　but　only　of　the　force　that　resists　all　and　overcomes　all。　　‘‘Yesthe　voice；''　said　she。　　‘‘The　voice。''

‘‘If　it's　ever　reliable；　come　to　see　me。　　Until　then''　He　put　out　his　hand。　　When　she　gave　him　hers；　he　held　it　in　a　way　that　gave　her　no　impulse　to　draw　back。　‘‘You　know　the　conditions　of　success　now。　　You　must　prepare　to　meet　them。　　If　you　put　yourself　at　the　mercy　of　the　Ransdellsor　any　other　of　the　petty　intriguers　that　beset　every　avenue　of　successyou　must　take　the　consequences；　you　must　conciliate　them　as　best　you　can。　If　you　don't　wish　to　be　at　their　mercy；　you　must　do　your　part。''

She　nodded。　　He　released　her　hand；　opened　the　hall　door。　　He　said：

‘‘Forgive　my　little　lecture。　　But　I　like　you；　and　I　can't　help　having　hope　of　you。''　　He　smiled　charmingly；　his　keen；　inconstant　eyes　dimming。　　‘‘Perhaps　I　hope　because　you're　young　and　extremely　lovely　and　I　am　pitifully　susceptible。　　You　see；　you'd　better　go。　Every　man's　a　Ransdell　at　heart　where　pretty　women　are　concerned。''

She　did　not　leave　the　building。　　She　went　to　the　elevator　and　asked　the　boy　where　she　could　find　Signor　Moldini。　　His　office　was　the　big　room　on　the　third　floor　where　voice　candidates　were　usually　tried　out；　three　days　in　the　week。　　At　the　moment　he　was　engaged。　　Mildred；　seated　in　the　tiny　anteroom；　heard　through　the　glass　door　a　girl　singing；　or　trying　to　sing。　　It　was　a　distressing　performance；　and　Mildred　wondered　that　Moldini　could　be　so　tolerant　as　to　hear　her　through。　　He　came　to　the　door　with　her；　thanked　her　profusely；　told　her　he　would　let　her　know　whenever　there　was　an　opening　‘‘suited　to　your　talents。''　　As　he　observed　Mildred；　he　was　still　sighing　and　shaking　his　head　over　the　departed　candidate。

‘‘Ugly　and　ignorant！''　he　groaned。　　‘‘Poor　creature！　　Poor；　poor　creature。　　She　makes　three　dollars　a　weekin　a　factory　owned　by　a　great　philanthropist。　Three　dollars　a　week。　　And　she　has　no　way　to　make　a　cent　more。　　Miss　Gower；　they　talk　about　the　sad；　naughty　girls　who　sell　themselves　in　the　street　to　piece　out　their　wages。　　But　think；　dear　young　lady；　how　infinitely　better　of　they　are　than　the　ugly　ones　who　can't　piece　out　their　wages。''

There　he　looked　directly　at　her　for　the　first　time。　Before　she　could　grasp　the　tragic　sadness　of　his　idea；　he；　with　the　mobility　of　candid　and　highly　sensitized　natures；　shifted　from　melancholy　to　gay；　for　in　looking　at　her　he　had　caught　only　the　charm　of　dress；　of　face；　of　arrangement　of　hair。　　‘‘What　a　pleasure！''　he　exclaimed；　bursting　into　smiles　and　seizing　and　kissing　her　gloved　hands。　　‘‘Voice　like　a　bird；　face　like　an　angel　only　not　TOO　good；　no；　not　TOO　good。　　But　it　is　so　rareto　look　as　one　sings；　to　sing　as　one　looks。''

For　once；　compliment；　sincere　compliment　from　one　whose　opinion　was　worth　while；　gave　Mildred　pain。　　She　burst　out　with　her　news：　　‘‘Signor　Moldini；　I've　lost　my　place　in　the　company。　　My　voice　has　gone　back　on　me。''

Usually　Moldini　abounded　in　the　consideration　of　fine　natures　that　have　suffered　deeply　from　lack　of　consideration。　But　he　was　so　astounded　that　he　could　only　stare　stupidly　at　her；　smoothing　his　long　greasy　hair　with　his　thin　brown　hand。

‘‘It's　all　my　fault；　I　don't　take　care　of　myself；''　she　went　on。　　‘‘I　don't　take　care　of　my　health。　　At　least；　I　hope　that's　it。''

‘‘Hope！''　he　said；　suddenly　angry。

‘‘Hope　so；　because　if　it　isn't　that；　then　I've　no　chance　for　a　career；''　explained　she。

He　looked　at　her　feet；　pointed　an　uncannily　long　forefinger　at　them。　　‘‘The　crossings　and　sidewalks　are　slushand　you；　a　singer；　without　overshoes！　　Lunacy！　Lunacy！''

‘‘I've　never　worn　overshoes？''　said　Mildred　apologetically。

‘‘Don't　tell　me！　　I　wish　not　to　hear。　　It　makes　me　like　madness　here。''　　He　struck　his　low　sloping　brow　with　his　palm。　　‘‘What　vanity！　　That　the　feet　may　look　well　to　the　passing　stranger；　no　overshoes！　Rheumatism；　sore　throat；　colds；　pneumonia。　　Is　it　not　disgusting。　　If　you　were　a　man　I　should　swear　in　all　the　languages　I　knowwhich　are　five；　including　Hungarian；　and　when　one　swears　in　Hungarian