the price she paid-第48节

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　not　care　to　make　a　career；　at　that　price。　　Slaveryplain　slavery。''

When　she　went　in　to　dinner；　she　saw　instantly　that　Cyrilla　too　had　been　crying。　　Cyrilla　did　not　look　old；　anything　but　that；　indeed　was　not　old　and　would　not　begin　to　be　for　many　a　year。　　Still；　after　thirty…five　or　forty　a　woman　cannot　indulge　a　good　cry　without　its　leaving　serious　traces　that　will　show　hours　afterward。　At　sight　of　the　evidences　of　Cyrilla's　grief　Mildred　straightway　forgot　her　resentment。　　There　must　have　been　some　other　cause　for　Cyrilla's　peculiar　conduct。　No　matter　what；　since　it　was　not　hardness　of　heart。

It　was　a　sad；　even　a　gloomy　dinner。　　But　the　two　women　were　once　more　in　perfect　sympathy。　　And　afterward　Mildred　brought　the　Keith　paper　and　asked　Cyrilla's　opinion。　　Cyrilla　read　slowly　and　without　comment。　　At　last　she　said：

‘‘He　got　this　from　his　mother；　Lucia　Rivi。　　Have　you　read　her　life？''

‘‘No。　　I've　heard　almost　nothing　about　her；　except　that　she　was　famous。''

‘‘She　was　more　than　that；''　said　Mrs。　Brindley。　‘‘She　was　great；　a　great　personality。　　She　was　an　almost　sickly　child　and　girl。　　Her　first　attempts　on　the　stage　were　humiliating　failures。　　She　had　no　health；　no　endurance；　nothing　but　a　small　voice　of　rare　quality。''　Cyrilla　held　up　the　paper。　　‘‘This　tells　how　she　became　one　of　the　surest　and　most　powerful　dramatic　sopranos　that　ever　lived。''

‘‘She　must　have　been　a　dull　person　to　have　been　able　to　lead　the　kind　of　life　that's　described　there；''　said　Mildred。

‘‘Only　two　kinds　of　persons　could　do　it；''　replied　Cyrilla‘‘a　dull　persona　plodderand　a　genius。　Middling　peoplethey're　the　kind　that　fill　the　world；　they're　you　and　I；　my　dearmiddling　people　have　to　fuss　with　the　trifles　that　must　be　sacrificed　if　one　is　to　do　anything　big。　　You　call　those　trifles　your　freedom；　but　they're　your　slavery。　　And　by　sacrificing　them　the　Lucia　Rivis　buy　their　freedom。''　　Cyrilla　looked　at　the　paper　with　a　heavy　sigh。　　‘‘Ah；　I　wish　I　had　seen　this　when　I　was　your　age。　　Now；　it's　too　late。''

Said　Mildred：　　‘‘Would　you　seriously　advise　me　to　try　that？''

Cyrilla　came　and　sat　beside　her　and　put　an　arm　around　her。　　‘‘Mildred；''　she　said；　‘‘I've　never　thrust　advice　on　you。　　I　only　dare　do　it　now　because　you　ask　me；　and　because　I　love　you。　　You　must　try　it。　　It's　your　one　chance。　　If　you　do　not；　you　will　fail。　　You　don't　believe　me？''

In　a　tone　that　was　admission；　Mildred　said：　　‘‘I　don't　know。''

‘‘Keith　has　given　you　there　the　secret　of　a　successful　career。　　You'll　never　read　it　in　any　book；　or　get　it　from　any　teacher；　or　from　any　singer　or　manager　or　doctor。　　You　must　live　like　that；　you　must　do　those　things　or　you　will　fail　even　in　musical　comedy。　　You　would　fail　even　as　an　actress；　if　you　tried　that；　when　you　found　out　that　the　singing　was　out　of　the　question。''

Mildred　was　impressed。　　Perhaps　she　would　have　been　more　impressed　had　she　not　seen　Keith　and　Mrs。　Brindley　in　the　taxi；　Keith　talking　earnestly　and　Mrs。　Brindley　listening　as　if　to　an　oracle。　　Said　she：　‘‘Perhaps　I'll　adopt　some　of　the　suggestions。''

Cyrilla　shook　her　head。　　‘‘It's　a　route　to　success。　You　must　go　the　whole　route　or　not　at　all。''

‘‘Don't　forget　that　there　have　been　other　singers　besides　Rivi。''

‘‘Not　any　that　I　recall　who　weren't　naturally　powerful　in　every　way。　　And　how　many　of　them　break　down？　Mildred；　please　do　put　the　silly　nonsense　about　nerves　and　temperament　and　inspiration　and　overwork　and　weather　and　climateput　all　that　out　of　your　head。　Build　your　temple　of　a　career　as　high　and　graceful　and　delicate　as　you　like；　but　build　it　on　the　coarse；　hard；　solid　rock；　dear！''

Mildred　tried　to　laugh　lightly。　　‘‘How　Mr。　Keith　does　hypnotize　people！''　cried　she。

Mrs。　Brindley's　cheeks　burned；　and　her　eyes　lowered　in　acute　embarrassment。　　‘‘He　has　a　way　of　being　splendidly　and　sensibly　right；''　said　she。　　‘‘And　the　truth　is　wonderfully　convincingonce　one　sees　it。''　She　changed　the　subject；　and　it　did　not　come　upor；　perhaps；　come　OUT　againbefore　they　went　to　bed。　The　next　day　Mildred　began　the　depressing；　hopeless　search　for　a　place　to　live　that　would　be　clean；　comfortable；　and　cheap。　　Those　three　adjectives　describe　the　ideal　lodging；　but　it　will　be　noted　that　all　these　are　relative。　　In　fact；　none　of　the　three　means　exactly　the　same　thing　to　any　two　members　of　the　human　family。　Mildred's　notion　of　cleanlike　her　notion　of　comfortableon　account　of　her　bringing　up　implied　a　large　element　of　luxury。　　As　for　the　word　‘‘cheap；''　it　really　meant　nothing　at　all　to　her。　　From　one　stand…　point　everything　seemed　cheap；　from　another；　everything　seemed　dear；　that　is；　too　dear　for　a　young　woman　with　less　than　five　hundred　dollars　in　the　world　and　no　substantial　prospect　of　getting　a　single　dollar　more　unless　by　hook　and　crook；　both　of　which　means　she　was　resolved　not　to　employ。

Never　having　earned　so　much　as　a　single　penny；　the　idea　of　anyone's　giving　her　anything　for　what　she　might　be　able　to　do　was　disturbingly　vague　and　unreal。　On　the　other　hand；　looking　about　her；　she　saw　scores　of　men　and　women；　personally　known　to　her　to　be　dull　of　conversation；　and　not　well　mannered　or　well　dressed　or　well　anything；　who　were　making　livings　without　overwhelming　difficulty。　　Why　not　Mildred　Gower？　　In　this　view　the　outlook　was　not　discouraging。　　‘‘I'll　no　doubt　go　through　some　discomfort；　getting　myself　placed。　　But　somewhere　and　somehow　I　shall　be　placed　and　how　I　shall　revenge　myself　on　Donald　Keith！''　His　fascination　for　her　had　not　been　destroyed　by　his　humiliating　lack　of　belief　in　her；　nor　by　his　cold…hearted　desertion　at　just　the　critical　moment。　　But　his　conduct　had　given　her　the　incentive　of　rage；　of　stung　vanity　or　wounded　pride；　if　you　prefer。　　She　would　get　him　back；　she　would　force　him　to　admit；　she　would　win　him；　if　she　couldand　that　ought　not　to　be　difficult　when　she　should　be　successful。　　Having　won　him；　then　What　then？　　Something　superb　in　the　way　of　revenge；　she　would　decide　what；　when　the　hour　of　triumph　came。　Meanwhile　she　must　search　for　lodgings。

In　her　journeyings　under　the　guidance　of　attractive　advertisements　and　‘‘carefully　selected''　agents'　lists；　she　found　herself　in　front　of　her　first　lodgings　in　New　Yorkthe　house　of　Mrs。　Belloc。　　She　had　often　thought　of　the　New　England　school…teacher；　arrived　by　such　strange　paths　at　such　a　strange　position　in　New　York。　　She　had　started　to　call　on　her　many　times；　but　each　time　had　been　turned　aside；　New　York　makes　it　more　than　difficult　to　find　time　to　do　anything　that　does　not　have　to　be　done　at　a　definite　time　and　for　a　definite　reason。　　She　was　worn　out　with　her　futile　trampings　up　and　down　streets；　up　and　down　stairs。　　Up　the　stone　steps　she　went　and　rang　the　bell。

Yes；　Mrs。　Belloc　was　in；　and　would　be　glad　to　see　her；　if　Miss　Stevens　would　wait　in　the　drawing…room　a　few　minutes。　　She　had　not　seated　herself　when　down　the　stairs　came　the　fresh；　pleasantly　countrified　voice　of　Mrs。　Belloc；　inviting　her　to　ascend。　　As　Mildred　started　up；　she　saw　at　the　head　of　the　stairs　the　frank　and　cheerful　face　of　the　lady　herself。　　She　was　holding　together　at　the　neck　a　thin　silk　wrapper　whose　lines　strongly　suggested　that　it　was　the　only　garment　she　had　on。

‘‘Why　should　old　friends　stand　on　ceremony？''　said　Mrs。　Belloc。　　‘‘Come　right　up。　　I've　been　taking　a　bath。　　My　masseuse　has　just　gone。''　　Mrs。　Belloc　enclosed　her　in　a　delightfully　perfumed　embrace；　and　they　kissed　with　enthusiasm。

‘‘I　AM　glad　to　see　you；''　said　Mildred；　feeling　all　at　once　a　thrilling　sense　of　at…homeness。　　‘‘I　didn't　realize　how　glad　I'd　be　till　I　saw　you。''

‘‘It'd　be　a　pretty　stiff　sort　that　wouldn't　feel　at　home　with　me；''　observed　Mrs。　Belloc。　　‘‘New　York　usually　stiffens　people　up。　　It's　had　the　opposite　effect　on　me。　Though　I　must　say；　I　have　learned　to　stiffen　with　people　I　don't　likeand　I'll　have　to　admit　that　I　like　fewer　and　fewer。　　People　don't　wear　well；　do　they？　　What　IS　the　matter　with　them？　　Why　can't　they　be　natural　and　not　make　themselves　into　rubbishy；　old　scrap…bags　full　of　fakes　and　pretenses？　　You're　looking　at　my　hair。''

They　were　in　Mrs。　Belloc's　comfortable　sitting…room　now；　and　she　was　smoking　a　cigarette　and　regarding　Mildred　with　an　expression　of　delight　that　was　most　flattering。　　Said　Mildred：

‘‘Your　hair　does　look　well。　　It's　thickerisn't　it？''

‘‘Think　so？''　said　Mrs。　Belloc。　　‘‘It　ought　to　be；　with　all　the　time　and　money　I've　spent　on　it。　　My；　how　New　York　does　set　a　woman　to　repairing　and　fixing　up。　Nothing　artificial　goes　here。　　It　mustn't　be　paint　and　plumpers　and　pads；　but　the　real　teeth。　　Why；　I've　had　four　real　teeth　set　in　as　if　they　were　rootedand　my　hips　toned　down。　　You　may　remember　what　heavy　legs　I　hadpiano…legs。　　Look　at　'em　now。''　　Mrs。　Belloc　drew　the　wrapper　to　her　knee　and　exposed　in　a　pale…　blue　silk　stocking　a　thin　and　comely　calf。

‘‘You　HAVE　been　busy！''　said　Mildred。

‘‘That's　only　a　little　part。　　I　started　to　tell　you　about　the　hair。　　It　was　getting　graynot　in　a　nice；　pretty　way；　all　over；　but　in　spots　and　streaks。　　Nothing　else　makes　a　woman　look　so　ragged　and　dingy　and　old　as　spotted；　streaky　gray　hair。　　So　I　had　the　hair…woman　touch　it　up。　　She　vows　it　won't　make　my　face　hard。　That's　the　trouble　with　dyed　or　touched　hair；　you　know。　But　this　is　a　ne