the price she paid-第31节

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　Some　wells　are　full；　others　almost　dry。　　Some　are　so　arranged　that　water　cannot　be　got　from　them；　others　have　attachments　of　various　kinds；　making　the　drawing　of　water　more　or　less　easy。　　But　not　from　the　best　well　with　the　latest　pump　attachment　can　one　get　a　drink　unless　one　does　the　drinking　oneself。　　A　teacher　is　rarely　a　well。　　The　pupil　must　not　only　draw　the　water；　but　also　drink　it；　must　not　only　teach　himself；　but　also　learn　what　he　teaches。　　Now　we　are　all　of　us　born　thirsty　for　knowledge；　and　nearly　all　of　us　are　born　both　capable　of　teaching　ourselves　and　capable　of　learning　what　we　teach；　that　is；　of　retaining　and　assimilating　it。　　There　is　such　a　thing　as　artificially　feeding　the　mind；　just　as　there　is　such　a　thing　as　artificially　feeding　the　body；　but　while　everyone　knows　that　artificial　feeding　of　the　body　is　a　success　only　to　a　limited　extent　and　for　a　brief　period；　everyone　believes　that　the　artificial　feeding　of　the　mind　is　not　only　the　best　method；　but　the　only　method。　　Nor　does　the　discovery　that　the　mind　is　simply　the　brain；　is　simply　a　part　of　the　body；　subject　to　the　body's　laws；　seem　materially　to　have　lessened　this　fatuous　delusion。

Some　of　Jennings's　pupilsnot　more　than　two　of　the　forty…odd　were　in　genuine　earnest；　that　is；　those　two　were　educating　themselves　to　be　professional　singers；　were　determined　so　to　be；　had　limited　time　and　means　and　endless　capacity　for　work。　　Others　of　the　forty　about　half…thought　they　were　serious；　though　in　fact　the　idea　of　a　career　was　more　or　less　hazy。　　They　were　simply　taking　lessons　and　toiling　aimlessly　along；　not　less　aimlessly　because　they　indulged　in　vague　talk　and　vaguer　thought　about　a　career。　　The　restthe　other　half　of　the　fortywere　amusing　themselves　by　taking　singing　lessons。　　It　killed　time；　it　gave　them　a　feeling　of　doing　something；　it　gave　them　a　reputation　of　being　serious　people　and　not　mere　idlers；　it　gave　them　an　excuse　for　neglecting　the　domestic　duties　which　they　regarded　as　degradingprobably　because　to　do　them　well　requires　study　and　earnest；　hard　work。　　The　Jennings　singing　lesson；　at　fifteen　dollars　a　half…hour；　was　rather　an　expensive　hypocrisy；　but　the　women　who　used　it　as　a　cloak　for　idleness　as　utter　as　the　mere　yawners　and　bridgers　and　shoppers　had　rich　husbands　or　fathers。

Thus　it　appears　that　the　Jennings　School　was　a　perfect　microcosm；　as　the　scientists　would　say；　of　the　human　racethe　serious　very　few；　toiling　more　or　less　successfully　toward　a　definite　goal；　the　many；　compelled　to　do　something；　and　imagining　themselves　serious　and　purposeful　as　they　toiled　along　toward　nothing　in　par…　ticular　but　the　next　lessonthat　is；　the　next　day's　appointed　task；　the　utterly　idle；　fancying　themselves　busy　and　important　when　in　truth　they　were　simply　a　fraud　and　an　expense。

Jennings　got　very　little　from　the　deeply　and　genuinely　serious。　　One　of　them　he　taught　free；　taking　promissory　notes　for　the　lessons。　　But　he　held　on　to　them　because　when　they　finally　did　teach　themselves　to　sing　and　arrived　at　fame；　his　would　be　part　of　the　gloryand　glory　meant　more　and　more　pupils　of　the　paying　kinds。　　His　large　income　came　from　the　other　two　kinds　of　pupils；　the　larger　part　of　it　from　the　kind　that　had　no　seriousness　in　them。　　His　problem　was　how　to　keep　all　these　paying　pupils　and　also　keep　his　reputation　as　a　teacher。　　In　solving　that　problem　he　evolved　a　method　that　was　the　true　Jennings's　method。　Not　in　all　New　York；　filled　as　it　is　with　people　living　and　living　well　upon　the　manipulation　of　the　weaknesses　of　their　fellow　beingsnot　in　all　New　York　was　there　an　adroiter　manipulator　than　Eugene　Jennings。　　He　was　harsh　to　brutality　when　he　saw　fit　to　be　soor；　rather；　when　he　deemed　it　wise　to　be　so。　　Yet　never　had　he　lost　a　paying　pupil　through　his　harshness。　These　were　fashionable　womenmost　delicate；　sensitive　ladiesat　whom　he　swore。　　They　wept；　stayed　on；　advertised　him　as　a　‘‘wonderful　serious　teacher　who　won't　stand　any　nonsense　and　doesn't　care　a　hang　whether　you　stay　or　goand　he　can　teach　absolutely　anybody　to　sing！''　　He　knew　how　to　be　gentle　without　seeming　to　be　so；　he　knew　how　to　flatter　without　uttering　a　single　word　that　did　not　seem　to　be　reluctant　praise　or　savage　criticism；　he　knew　how　to　make　a　lady　with　a　little　voice　work　enough　to　make　a　showing　that　would　spur　her　to　keep　on　and　on　with　him；　he　knew　how　to　encourage　a　rich　woman　with　no　more　song　than　a　peacock　until　she　would　come　to　him　three　times　a　week　for　many　yearsand　how　he　did　make　her　pay　for　what　he　suffered　in　listening　to　the　hideous　squawkings　and　yelpings　she　inflicted　upon　him！

Did　Jennings　think　himself　a　fraud？　　No　more　than　the　next　human　being　who　lives　by　fraud。　　Is　there　any　trade　or　profession　whose　practitioners；　in　the　bottom　of　their　hearts；　do　not　think　they　are　living　excusably　and　perhaps　creditably？　　The　Jennings　theory　was　that　he　was　a　great　teacher；　that　there　were　only　a　very　few　serious　and　worth…while　seekers　of　the　singing　art；　that　in　order　to　live　and　to　teach　these　few；　he　had　to　receive　the　others；　that；　anyhow；　singing　was　a　fine　art　for　anyone　to　have　and　taking　singing　lessons　made　the　worst　voice　a　little　less　bador；　at　the　least；　singing　was　splendid　for　the　health。　　One　of　his　favorite　dicta　was；　‘‘Every　child　should　be　taught　singing　for　its　health；　if　for　nothing　else。''　　And　perhaps　he　was　right！　　At　any　rate；　he　made　his　forty　to　fifty　thousand　a　yearand　on　days　when　he　had　a　succession　of　the　noisy；　tuneless　squawkers；　he　felt　that　he　more　than　earned　every　cent　of　it。

Mildred　did　not　penetrate　far　into　the　secret　of　the　money…making　branch　of　the　Jennings　method。　　It　was　crude　enough；　too。　　But　are　not　all　the　frauds　that　fool　the　human　race　crude？　　Human　beings　both　cannot　and　will　not　look　beneath　surfaces。　　All　Mildred　learned　was　that　Jennings　did　not　give　up　paying　pupils。　She　had　not　confidence　enough　in　this　discovery　to　put　it　to　the　test。　　She　did　not　dare　disobey　him　or　shirk　even　when　she　was　most　disposed　to　do　so。　　But　gradually　she　ceased　from　that　intense　application　she　had　at　first　brought　to　her　work。　　She　kept　up　the　forms。　She　learned　her　lessons。　　She　did　all　that　was　asked。　She　seemed　to　be　toiling　as　in　the　beginning。　　In　reality；　she　became　by　the　middle　of　spring　a　mere　lesson…taker。　Her　interest　in　clothes　and　in　going　about　revived。　　She　saw　in　the　newspapers　that　General　Siddall　had　taken　a　party　of　friends　on　a　yachting　trip　around　the　world；　so　she　felt　that　she　was　no　longer　being　searched　for；　at　least　not　vigorously。　　She　became　acquainted　with　smart；　rich　West　Side　women；　taking　lessons　at　Jennings's。　　She　amused　herself　going　about　with　them　and　with　the　‘‘musical''　men　they　attractedamateur　and　semi…professional　singers　and　players　upon　instruments。　She　drew　Mrs。　Brindley　into　their　society。　　They　had　little　parties　at　the　flat　in　Fifty…ninth　Streetthe　most　delightful　little　parties　imaginabledinners　and　suppers；　music；　clever　conversations；　flirtations　of　a　harmless　but　fascinating　kind。　　If　anyone　had　accused　Mildred　of　neglecting　her　work；　of　forgetting　her　career；　she　would　have　grown　indignant；　and　if　Mrs。　Brindley　had　overheard；　she　would　have　been　indignant　for　her。　Mildred　worked　as　much　as　ever。　　She　was　making　excellent　progress。　　She　was　doing　all　that　could　be　done。　It　takes　time　to　develop　a　voice；　to　make　an　opera…singer。　Forcing　is　dangerous；　when　it　is　not　downright　useless。

In　Maytoward　the　end　of　the　monthStanley　Baird　returned。　　Mildred；　who　happened　to　be　in　unusually　good　voice　that　day；　sang　for　him　at　the　Jennings　studio；　and　he　was　enchanted。　　As　the　last　note　died　away　he　cried　out　to　Jennings：

‘‘She's　a　wonder；　isn't　she？''

Jennings　nodded。　　‘‘She's　got　a　voice；''　said　he。

‘‘She　ought　to　go　on　next　year。''

‘‘Not　quite　that；''　said　Jennings。　　‘‘We　want　to　get　that　upper　register　right　first。　　And　it's　a　young　voiceshe's　very　young　for　her　age。　　We　must　be　careful　not　to　strain　it。''

‘‘Why；　what's　a　voice　for　if　not　to　sing　with？''　said　Stanley。

‘‘A　fine　voice　is　a　very　delicate　instrument；''　replied　the　teacher。　　He　added　coldly；　‘‘You　must　let　me　judge　as　to　what　shall　be　done。''

‘‘Certainly；　certainly；''　said　Stanley　in　haste。

‘‘She's　had　several　colds　this　winter　and　spring；''　pursued　Jennings。　　‘‘Those　things　are　dangerous　until　the　voice　has　its　full　growth。　　She　should　have　two　months'　complete　rest。''

Jennings　was　going　away　for　a　two　months'　vacation。　He　was　giving　this　advice　to　all　his　pupils。

‘‘You're　right；''　said　Baird。　　‘‘Did　you　hear；　Mildred？''

‘‘But　I　hate　to　stop　work；''　objected　Mildred。　　‘‘I　want　to　be　doing　something。　　I'm　very　impatient　of　this　long　wait。''

And　honest　she　was　in　this　protest。　　She　had　no　idea　of　the　state　of　her　own　mind。　　She　fancied　she　was　still　as　eager　as　ever　for　the　career；　as　intensely　interested　as　ever　in　her　work。　　She　did　not　dream　of　the　real　meaning　of　her　content　with　her　voice　as　it　was；　of　her　lack　of　uneasiness　over　the　appalling　fact　that　such　voice　as　she　had　was　unreliable；　came　and　went　for　no　apparent　reason。

‘‘Absolute　rest　for　two　months；''　declared　Jennings　grimly。　　‘‘Not　a　note　until　I　return　in　August。''

Mildred　gave　a　resigned　sigh。

There　is　much　inveighing　aga