the price she paid-第15节
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nd fame。 So strongly did the delusion presently become； that she was looking at the little general with anything but unfavorable eyes。 He seemed to her a quaint； fascinating； benevolent necromancer； having miraculous powers which he was exercising in her behalf。 She even reproached herself with ingratitude in not being wildly in love with him。 Would not any other girl； in her place； have fallen over ears in love with this marvelous man？
However； while she could not quite convince herself that she loved； she became convinced without effort that she was happy； that she was going to be still happier。 The excitement wrought her into a state of exaltation and swept her through the wedding ceremony and the going away as radiant a bride as a man would care to have。
There is much to be said against the noisy； showy wedding。 Certainly love has rarely been known to degrade himself to the point of attending any such。 But there is something to be said for that sort of married startfor instance； where love is neither invited nor desired； an effort must be made to cover the painful vacancy his absence always causes。
The little general's insistence on a ‘‘real wedding'' was most happy for him。 It probably got him his bride。
III
THE intoxication of that wedding held on long enough and strongly enough to soften and blunt the disillusionments of the first few days of the honeymoon。 In the prospect that period had seemed； even to Mildred's rather unsophisticated imagination； appalling beyond her power to endure。 In the factthanks in large part to that intoxicationit was certainly not unendurable。 A human being； even an innocent young girl； can usually bear up under any experience to which a human being can be subjected。 The general in pajamas of the finest silk and of pigeon's…egg blue with a vast gorgeous monogram on the pocketwas more grotesque； rather than more repellent； than the general in morning or evening attire。 Also hethat is； his expert staff of providers of luxuryhad arranged for the bride a series of the most ravishing sensations in whisking her； like the heroine of an Arabian Night's tale； from straitened circumstances to the very paradise of luxury。
The general's ideas on the subject of woman were old fashioned； of the hard…shell variety。 Woman was made for luxury； and luxury was made for woman。 His woman must be the most divinely easeful of the luxurious。 At all times she must be fit and ready for any and every sybaritic idea that might enter her husband's headand other purpose she had none。 When she was not directly engaged in ministering to his joy she must be busy preparing herself for his next call upon her。 A woman was a luxury； was the luxury of luxuries； must have and must use to their uttermost all capacities for gratifying his senses and his vanity。 Alone with him； she must make him constantly feel how rich and rare and expensive a prize he had captured。 When others were about； she must be constantly making them envy and admire him for having exclusive rights in such wonderful preserves。 All this with an inflexible devotion to the loftiest ideals of chastity。
But the first realizations of her husband's notions as to women were altogether pleasant。 As she entered the automobile in which they went to the private car in the special train that took them to New York and the steameras she entered that new and prodigally luxurious automobile； she had a first； keen sense of her changed position。 Then there was the superb private carher car； since she was his wifeand there was the beautiful suite in the magnificent steamer。 And at every instant menials thrusting attentions upon her； addressing her as if she were a queen； revealing in their nervous tones and anxious eyes their eagerness to please； their fear of displeasing。 And on the steamer； from New York to Cherbourg； she was never permitted to lose sight of the material splendors that were now hers。 All the servants； all the passengers； reminded her by their looks； their tones。 At Paris； in the hotel； in the restaurants； in the shopsespecially in the shops those snobbish instincts that are latent in the sanest and the wisest of us were fed and fattened and pampered until her head was quite turned。 And the general began to buy jewels for her。 Such jewels ropes of diamonds and pearls and emeralds； rings such as she had never dreamed existed！ Those shopping excursions of theirs in the Rue de la Paix would make such a tale as your ordinary simple citizen； ignorant of the world's resources in luxury and therefore incredulous about them； would read with a laugh at the extravagance of the teller。
Before the intoxication of the wedding had worn away it was re…enforced by the intoxication of the honey… moonnot an intoxication of love's providing； but one exceeding potent in its influence upon our weak human brains and hearts； one from which the strongest of us； instead of sneering at poor Mildred； would better be praying to be delivered。
At her marriage she had a few hundred dollars left of her patrimonythree hundred and fifty and odd； to be more exact。 She spent a little money of her own here and therein tips； in buying presents for her mother； in picking up trifles for her own toilet。 The day came when she looked in her purse and found two one…franc pieces； a fifty…franc note； and a few coppers。 And suddenly she sat back and stared； her mouth open like her almost empty gold bag； which the general had bought her on their first day in the Rue de la Paix。 About ten dollars in all the world； and the general had forgotten to speakor to make any arrangement； at least any arrangement of which she was awareabout a further supply of money。
They had been married nearly a month。 He knew that she was poor。 Why hadn't he said something or； better still； DONE something？ Doubtless he had simply forgotten。 But since he had forgotten for a month； might he not continue to forget？ True； he had himself been poor at one time in his life； very poor； and that for a long time。 But it had been so many years ago that he had probably lost all sense of the meaning of poverty。 She frowned at this evidence of his lack of the finer sensibilitiesby no means the first time that lack had been disagreeably thrust upon her。 Soon she would be without moneyand she must have money not much； as all the serious expenses were looked after by the general； but still a little money。 How could she get it？ How could she remind him of his neglect without seeming to be indelicate？ It was a difficult problem。 She worked at it more and more continuously； and irritably； and nervously； as the days went by and her fifty…two francs dwindled to five。
She lay awake； planning long and elaborate conversations that would imperceptibly lead him up to where he must see what she needed without seeing that he had been led。 She carried out these ingenious conversations。 She led him along； he docilely and unsuspectingly following。 She brought him up to where it seemed to her impossible for any human being endowed with the ordinary faculties to fail to see what was so plainly in view。 All in vain。 General William Siddall gazed placidlyand saw nothing。
Several days of these failures； and with her funds reduced to a fifty…centime piece and a two…sous copper she made a frontal attack。 When they went forth for the day's shopping she left her gold bag behind。 After an hour or so she said：
‘‘I've got to go to the Galleries Lafayette for some little things。 I shan't ask you to sacrifice yourself。 I know you hate those stuffy； smelly big shops。''
‘‘Very well；'' said he。 ‘‘I'll use the time in a call on my bankers。''
As they were about to separate； she taking the motor and he walking； she made a face of charming dismay and said： ‘‘How provoking！ I've left my bag at the hotel。''
Instead of the expected prompt offer of money he said； ‘‘It'll only take you a minute or so to drive there。''
‘‘But it's out of the way；'' she replied。 ‘‘I'll need only a hundred francs or so。''
Said he： ‘‘I've an account at the Bon Marche。 Go there and have the things charged。 It's much the best big shop in Paris。''
‘‘Very well；'' was all she could trust herself to say。 She concealed her anger beneath a careless smile and drove away。 How dense he was！ Could anything be more exasperatingor more disagreeable？ What SHOULD she do？ The situation was intolerable； yet how could it be ended； except by a humiliating direct request for money？ She wondered how young wives habitually dealt with this problem； when they happened to marry husbands so negligent； not to say underbred； as to cause them the awkwardness and the shame。 There followed several days during which the money idea was an obsession； nagging and grinning at her every in… stant。 The sight of money gave her a peculiar itching sensation。 When the little general paid for anything always drawing out a great sheaf of bank notes in doing itshe flushed hot and cold； her glance fell guiltily and sought the money furtively。 At last her desperation gave birth to an inspiration。
About her and the general； or； rather； about the general； revolved the usual rich man's small army of satellites of various degreessecretaries； butlers
