2 new moon新月-第52节

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eyes　scanned　the　horizon；　he　had　a　flash　of　inspiration。　

〃Got　it！〃　he　crowed。　〃Another　promise　to　keep。〃　

〃What　are　you　talking　about？〃　

He　let　go　of　my　hand　and　pointed　toward　the　southern　edge　of　the　beach；　where　the　flat；　rocky　
half…moon　dead…ended　against　the　sheer　sea　cliffs。　I　stared；　uncomprehending。　

〃Didn't　I　promise　to　take　you　cliff　diving？〃　

I　shivered。　

〃Yeah；　it'll　be　pretty　cold—not　as　cold　as　it　is　today。　Can　you　feel　the　weather　changing？　The　pressure？　
It　will　be　warmer　tomorrow。　You　up　for　it？〃　

The　dark　water　did　not　look　inviting；　and；　from　this　angle；　the　cliffs　looked　even　higher　than　before。　

But　it　had　been　days　since　I'd　heard　Edward's　voice。　That　was　probably　part　of　the　problem。　I　was　
addicted　to　the　sound　of　my　delusions。　It　made　things　worse　if　I　went　too　long　without　them。　Jumping　off　
a　cliff　was　certain　to　remedy　that　situation。　

〃Sure；　I'm　up　for　it。　Fun。〃　

〃It's　a　date；〃　he　said；　and　draped　his　arm　around　my　shoulders。　

〃Okay—now　let's　go　get　you　some　sleep。〃　I　didn't　like　the　way　the　circles　under　his　eyes　were　beginning　
to　look　permanently　etched　onto　his　skin。　


I　woke　early　the　next　morning　and　snuck　a　change　of　clothes　out　to　the　truck。　I　had　a　feeling　that　Charlie　
would　approve　of　today's　plan　just　about　as　much　as　he　would　approve　of　the　motorcycle。　

The　idea　of　a　distraction　from　all　my　worries　had　me　almost　excited。　Maybe　it　would　be　fun。　A　date　with　
Jacob；　a　date　with　Edward…　I　laughed　darkly　to　myself。　Jake　could　say　what　he　wanted　about　us　being　
a　messed…up　pair—I　was　the　one　who　was　truly　messed　up。　I　made　the　werewolf　seem　downright　
normal。　

I　expected　Jacob　to　meet　me　out　front；　the　way　he　usually　did　when　my　noisy　truck　announced　my　
arrival。　When　he　didn't；　I　guessed　that　he　might　still　be　sleeping。　I　would　wait—let　him　get　as　much　rest　as　
he　could。　He　needed　his　sleep；　and　that　would　give　the　day　time　to　warm　a　bit　more。　Jake　had　been　right　
about　the　weather；　though；　it　had　changed　in　the　night。　A　thick　layer　of　clouds　pressed　heavily　on　the　
atmosphere　now；　making　it　almost　sultry；　it　was　warm　and　close　under　the　gray　blanket。　I　left　my　sweater　
in　the　truck。　

I　knocked　quietly　on　the　door。　

〃C'mon　in；　Bella；〃　Billy　said。　

He　was　at　the　kitchen　table；　eating　cold　cereal。　

〃Jake　sleeping？〃　

〃Er；　no。〃　He　set　his　spoon　down；　and　his　eyebrows　pulled　together。　

〃What　happened？〃　I　demanded。　I　could　tell　from　his　expression　that　something　had。　

〃Embry；　Jared；　and　Paul　crossed　a　fresh　trail　early　this　morning。　Sam　and　Jake　took　off　to　help。　Sam　was　
hopeful—she's　hedged　herself　in　beside　the　mountains。　He　thinks　they　have　a　good　chance　to　finish　this。〃　

〃Oh；　no；　Billy；〃　I　whispered。　〃Oh；　no。〃　

He　chuckled；　deep　and　low。　〃Do　you　really　like　La　Push　so　well　that　you　want　to　extend　your　sentence　
here？〃　

〃Don't　make　jokes；　Billy。　This　is　too　scary　for　that。〃　

〃You're　right；〃　he　agreed；　still　complacent。　His　ancient　eyes　were　impossible　to　read。　〃This　one's　tricky。〃　

I　bit　my　lip。　

〃It's　not　as　dangerous　for　them　as　you　think　it　is。　Sam　knows　what　he's　doing。　You're　the　one　that　you　
should　worry　about。　The　vampire　doesn't　want　to　fight　them。　She's　just　trying　to　find　a　way　around　
them…　to　you。〃　

〃How　does　Sam　know　what　he's　doing？〃　I　demanded；　brushing　aside　his　concern　for　me。　〃They've　only　
killed　just　the　one　vampire—that　could　have　been　luck。〃　

〃We　take　what　we　do　very　seriously；　Bella。　Nothing's　been　forgotten。　Everything　they　need　to　know　has　
been　passed　down　from　father　to　son　for　generations。〃　

That　didn't　comfort　me　the　way　he　probably　intended　it　to。　The　memory　of　Victoria；　wild；　catlike；　lethal；　
was　too　strong　in　my　head。　If　she　couldn't　get　around　the　wolves；　she　would　eventually　try　to　go　through　
them。　

Billy　went　back　to　his　breakfast；　I　sat　down　on　the　sofa　and　flipped　aimlessly　though　the　TV　channels。　
That　didn't　last　long。　I　started　to　feel　closed　in　by　the　small　room；　claustrophobic；　upset　by　the　fact　that　I　
couldn't　see　out　the　curtained　windows。　

〃I'll　be　at　the　beach；〃　I　told　Billy　abruptly；　and　hurried　out　the　door。　

Being　outside　didn't　help　as　much　as　I'd　hoped。　The　clouds　pushed　down　with　an　invisible　weight　that　
kept　the　claustrophobia　from　easing。　The　forest　seemed　strangely　vacant　as　I　walked　toward　the　beach。　I　
didn't　see　any　animals—no　birds；　no　squirrels。　I　couldn't　hear　any　birds；　either。　The　silence　was　eerie；　
there　wasn't　even　the　sound　of　wind　in　the　trees。　

I　knew　it　was　all　just　a　product　of　the　weather；　but　it　still　made　me　edgy。　The　heavy；　warm　pressure　of　
the　atmosphere　was　perceptible　even　to　my　weak　human　senses；　and　it　hinted　at　something　major　in　the　
storm　department。　A　glance　at　the　sky　backed　this　up；　the　clouds　were　churning　sluggishly　despite　the　
lack　of　breeze　on　the　ground。　The　closest　clouds　were　a　smoky　gray；　but　between　the　cracks　I　could　see　
another　layer　that　was　a　gruesome　purple　color。　The　skies　had　a　ferocious　plan　in　store　for　today。　The　
animals　must　be　bunkering　down。　

As　soon　as　I　reached　the　beach；　I　wished　I　hadn't　come—I'd　already　had　enough　of　this　place。　I'd　been　
here　almost　every　day；　wandering　alone。　Was　it　so　much　different　from　my　nightmares？　But　where　else　to　
go？　I　trudged　down　to　the　driftwood　tree；　and　sat　at　the　end　so　that　I　could　lean　against　the　tangled　
roots。　I　stared　up　at　the　angry　sky　broodingly；　waiting　for　the　first　drops　to　break　the　stillness。　

I　tried　not　to　think　about　the　danger　Jacob　and　his　friends　were　in。　Because　nothing　could　happen　to　
Jacob。　The　thought　was　unendurable。　I'd　lost　too　much　already—would　fate　take　the　last　few　shreds　of　
peace　left　behind？　That　seemed　unfair；　out　of　balance。　But　maybe　I'd　violated　some　unknown　rule；　
crossed　some　line　that　had　condemned　me。　Maybe　it　was　wrong　to　be　so　involved　with　myths　and　
legends；　to　turn　my　back　on　the　human　world。　Maybe…　

No。　Nothing　would　happen　to　Jacob。　I　had　to　believe　that　or　I　wouldn't　be　able　to　function。　

〃Argh！〃　I　groaned；　and　jumped　off　the　log。　I　couldn't　sit　still；　it　was　worse　than　pacing。　

I'd　really　been　counting　on　hearing　Edward　this　morning。　It　seemed　like　that　was　the　one　thing　that　might　
make　it　bearable　to　live　through　this　day。　The　hole　had　been　festering　lately；　like　it　was　getting　revenge　for　
the　times　that　Jacob's　presence　had　tamed　it。　The　edges　burned。　

The　waves　picked　up　as　I　paced；　beginning　to　crash　against　the　rocks；　but　there　was　still　no　wind。　I　felt　
pinned　down　by　the　pressure　of　the　storm。　Everything　swirled　around　me；　but　it　was　perfectly　still　where　I　
stood。　The　air　had　a　faint　electric　charge—I　could　feel　the　static　in　my　hair。　

Farther　out；　the　waves　were　angrier　than　they　were　along　the　shore。　I　could　see　them　battering　against　the　
line　of　the　cliffs；　spraying　big　white　clouds　of　sea　foam　into　the　sky。　There　was　still　no　movement　in　the　
air；　though　the　clouds　roiled　more　quickly　now。　It　was　eerie　looking—like　the　clouds　were　moving　by　
their　own　will。　I　shivered；　though　I　knew　it　was　just　a　trick　of　the　pressure。　

The　cliffs　were　a　black　knife　edge　against　the　livid　sky。　Staring　at　them；　I　remembered　the　day　Jacob　had　
told　me　about　Sam　and　his　〃gang。〃　I　thought　of　the　boys—the　werewolves—throwing　themselves　into　the　
empty　air。　The　image　of　the　falling；　spiraling　figures　was　still　vivid　in　my　mind。　I　imagined　the　utter　freedom　
of　the　fall…　I　imagined　the　way　Edward's　voice　would　have　sounded　in　my　head—furious；　velvet；　
perfect…　The　burning　in　my　chest　flared　agonizingly。　

There　had　to　be　some　way　to　quench　it。　The　pain　was　growing　more　and　more　intolerable　by　the　second。　
I　glared　at　the　cliffs　and　the　crashing　waves。　

Well；　why　not？　Why　not　quench　it　right　now？　

Jacob　had　promised　me　cliff　diving；　hadn't　he？　Just　because　he　was　unavailable；　should　I　have　to　give　up　
the　distraction　I　needed　so　badly—needed　even　worse　because　Jacob　was　out　risking　his　life？　Risking　it；　
in　essence；　for　me。　If　it　weren't　for　me；　Victoria　would　not　be　killing　people　here…　just　somewhere　else；　
far　away。　If　anything　happened　to　Jacob；　it　would　be　my　fault。　That　realization　stabbed　deep　and　had　me　
jogging　back　up　to　the　road　toward　Billy's　house；　where　my　truck　waited。　

I　knew　my　way　to　the　lane　that　passed　closest　to　the　cliffs；　but　I　had　to　hunt　for　the　little　path　that　would　
take　me　out　to　the　ledge。　As　I　followed　it；　I　looked　for　turns　or　forks；　knowing　that　Jake　had　planned　to　
take　me　off　the　lower　outcropping　rather　than　the　top；　but　the　path　wound　in　a　thin　single　line　toward　the　
brink　with　no　options。　I　didn't　have　time　to　find　another　way　down—the　storm　was　moving　in　quickly　
now。　The　wind　was　finally　beginning　to　touch　me；　the　clouds　pressing　closer　to　the　ground。　Just　as　I　
reached　the　place　where　the　dirt　path　fanned　out　into　the　stone　precipice；　the　first　drops　broke　through　
and　splattered　on　my　face。　

It　was　not　hard　to　convince　myself　that　I　didn't　have　time　to　search　for　another　way—I　wanted　to　jump　
from　the　top。　This　was　the　image　that　had　lingered　in　my　head。　I　wanted　the　long　fall　that　would　feel　like　
flying。　

I　knew　that　this　was　the　stupi