2 new moon新月-第24节

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The　lane　was　so　overgrown　that　it　did　not　look　familiar。　

What　if　I　couldn't　find　it？　I　shivered。　What　if　there　was　no　tangible　proof　at　all？　

Then　there　was　the　break　in　the　trees　that　I　was　looking　for；　only　it　was　not　so　pronounced　as　before。　
The　flora　here　did　not　wait　long　to　reclaim　any　land　that　was　left　unguarded。　The　tall　ferns　had　infiltrated　
the　meadow　around　the　house；　crowding　against　the　trunks　of　the　cedars；　even　the　wide　porch。　It　was　
like　the　lawn　had　been　flooded—waist…high—with　green；　feathery　waves。　

And　the　house　was　there；　but　it　was　not　the　same。　Though　nothing　had　changed　on　the　outside；　the　
emptiness　screamed　from　the　blank　windows。　It　was　creepy。　For　the　first　time　since　I'd　seen　the　beautiful　
house；　it　looked　like　a　fitting　haunt　for　vampires。　

I　hit　the　brakes；　looking　away。　I　was　afraid　to　go　farther。　

But　nothing　happened。　No　voice　in　my　head。　

So　I　left　the　engine　running　and　jumped　out　into　the　fern　sea。　Maybe；　like　Friday　night；　if　I　walked　
forward…　

I　approached　the　barren；　vacant　face　slowly；　my　truck　rumbling　out　a　comforting　roar　behind　me。　I　
stopped　when　I　got　to　the　porch　stairs；　because　there　was　nothing　here。　No　lingering　sense　of　their　
presence…　of　his　presence。　The　house　was　solidly　here；　but　it　meant　little。　Its　concrete　reality　would　not　
counteract　the　nothingness　of　the　nightmares。　

I　didn't　go　any　closer。　I　didn't　want　to　look　in　the　windows。　I　wasn't　sure　which　would　be　harder　to　see。　
If　the　rooms　were　bare；　echoing　empty　from　floor　to　ceiling；　that　would　certainly　hurt。　Like　my　
grandmother's　funeral；　when　my　mother　had　insisted　that　I　stay　outside　during　the　viewing。　She　had　said　
that　I　didn't　need　to　see　Gran　that　way；　to　remember　her　that　way；　rather　than　alive。　

But　wouldn't　it　be　worse　if　there　were　no　change？　If　the　couches　sat　just　as　I'd　last　seen　them；　the　
paintings　on　the　walls—worse　still；　the　piano　on　its　low　platform？　It　would　be　second　only　to　the　house　
disappearing　all　together；　to　see　that　there　was　no　physical　possession　that　tied　them　in　anyway。　That　
everything　remained；　untouched　and　forgotten；　behind　them。　

Just　like　me。　

I　turned　my　back　on　the　gaping　emptiness　and　hurried　to　my　truck。　I　nearly　ran。　I　was　anxious　to　be　
gone；　to　get　back　to　the　human　world。　I　felt　hideously　empty；　and　I　wanted　to　see　Jacob。　Maybe　I　was　

developing　a　new　kind　of　sickness；　another　addiction；　like　the　numbness　before。　I　didn't　care。　I　pushed　
my　truck　as　fast　as　it　would　go　as　I　barreled　toward　my　fix。　

Jacob　was　waiting　for　me。　My　chest　seemed　to　relax　as　soon　as　I　saw　him；　making　it　easier　to　breathe。　

〃Hey；　Bella；〃　he　called。　

I　smiled　in　relief。　〃Hey；　Jacob；〃　I　waved　at　Billy；　who　was　looking　out　the　window。　

〃Let's　get　to　work；〃　Jacob　said　in　a　low　but　eager　voice。　

I　was　somehow　able　to　laugh。　〃You　seriously　aren't　sick　of　me　yet？〃　I　wondered。　He　must　be　starting　to　
ask　himself　how　desperate　I　was　for　company。　

Jacob　led　the　way　around　the　house　to　his　garage。　

〃Nope。　Not　yet。〃　

〃Please　let　me　know　when　I　start　getting　on　your　nerves。　I　don't　want　to　be　a　pain。〃　

〃Okay。〃　He　laughed；　a　throaty　sound。　〃I　wouldn't　hold　your　breath　for　that；　though。〃　

When　I　walked　into　the　garage；　I　was　shocked　to　see　the　red　bike　standing　up；　looking　like　a　motorcycle　
rather　than　a　pile　of　jagged　metal。　

〃Jake；　you're　amazing；〃　I　breathed。　

He　laughed　again。　〃I　get　obsessive　when　I　have　a　project。〃　He　shrugged。　〃If　I　had　any　brains　I'd　drag　it　
out　a　little　bit。〃　

〃Why？〃　

He　looked　down；　pausing　for　so　long　that　I　wondered　if　he　hadn't　heard　my　question。　Finally；　he　asked　
me；　〃Bella；　if　I　told　you　that　I　couldn't　fix　these　bikes；　what　would　you　say？〃　

I　didn't　answer　right　away；　either；　and　he　glanced　up　to　check　my　expression。　

〃I　would　say…　that's　too　bad；　but　I'll　bet　we　could　figure　out　something　else　to　do。　If　we　got　really　
desperate；　we　could　even　do　homework。〃　

Jacob　smiled；　and　his　shoulders　relaxed。　He　sat　down　next　to　the　bike　and　picked　up　a　wrench。　〃So　you　
think　you'll　still　come　over　when　I'm　done；　then？〃　

〃Is　that　what　you　meant？〃　I　shook　my　head。　〃I　guess　I　am　taking　advantage　of　your　very　underpriced　
mechanical　skills。　But　as　long　as　you　let　me　come　over；　I'll　be　here。〃　

〃Hoping　to　see　Quil　again？〃　he　teased。　

〃You　caught　me。〃　

He　chuckled。　〃You　really　like　spending　time　with　me？〃　he　asked；　marveling。　

〃Very；　very　much。　And　I'll　prove　it。　I　have　to　work　tomorrow；　but　Wednesday　we'll　do　something　
nonmechanical。〃　

〃Like　what？〃　

〃I　have　no　idea。　We　can　go　to　my　place　so　you　won't　be　tempted　to　be　obsessive。　You　could　bring　your　
schoolwork—you　have　to　be　getting　behind；　because　I　know　I　am。〃　

〃Homework　might　be　a　good　idea。〃　He　made　a　face；　and　I　wondered　how　much　he　was　leaving　undone　
to　be　with　me。　

〃Yes；〃　I　agreed。　〃We'll　have　to　start　being　responsible　occasionally；　or　Billy　and　Charlie　aren't　going　to　be　
so　easygoing　about　this。〃　I　made　a　gesture　indicating　the　two　of　us　as　a　single　entity。　He　liked　that—he　
beamed。　

〃Homework　once　a　week？〃　he　proposed。　

〃Maybe　we'd　better　go　with　twice；〃　I　suggested；　thinking　of　the　pile　I'd　just　been　assigned　today。　

He　sighed　a　heavy　sigh。　Then　he　reached　over　his　toolbox　to　a　paper　grocery　sack。　He　pulled　out　two　
cans　of　soda；　cracking　one　open　and　handing　it　to　me。　He　opened　the　second；　and　held　it　up　
ceremoniously。　

〃Here's　to　responsibility；〃　he　toasted。　〃Twice　a　week。〃　

〃And　recklessness　every　day　in　between；〃　I　emphasized。　

He　grinned　and　touched　his　can　to　mine。　



I　got　home　later　than　I'd　planned　and　found　Charlie　had　ordered　a　pizza　rather　than　wait　for　me。　He　
wouldn't　let　me　apologize。　

〃I　don't　mind；〃　he　assured　me。　〃You　deserve　a　break　from　all　the　cooking；　anyway。〃　

I　knew　he　was　just　relieved　that　I　was　still　acting　like　a　normal　person；　and　he　was　not　about　to　rock　the　
boat。　

I　checked　my　e…mail　before　I　started　on　my　homework；　and　there　was　a　long　one　from　Renee。　She　
gushed　over　every　detail　I'd　provided　her　with；　so　I　sent　back　another　exhaustive　description　of　my　day。　
Everything　but　the　motorcycles。　Even　happy…go…lucky　Renee　was　likely　to　be　alarmed　by　that。　

School　Tuesday　had　its　ups　and　downs。　Angela　and　Mike　seemed　ready　to　welcome　me　back　with　open　
arms—to　kindly　overlook　my　few　months　of　aberrant　behavior。　Jess　was　more　resistant。　I　wondered　if　
she　needed　a　formal　written　apology　for　the　Port　Angeles　incident。　

Mike　was　animated　and　chatty　at　work。　It　was　like　he'd　stored　up　the　semester's　worth　of　talk；　and　it　
was　all　spilling　out　now。　I　found　that　I　was　able　to　smile　and　laugh　with　him；　though　it　wasn't　as　effortless　
as　it　was　with　Jacob。　It　seemed　harmless　enough；　until　quitting　time。　

Mike　put　the　closed　sign　in　the　window　while　I　folded　my　vest　and　shoved　it　under　the　counter。　

〃This　was　fun　tonight；〃　Mike　said　happily。　

〃Yeah；〃　I　agreed；　though　I'd　much　rather　have　spent　the　afternoon　in　the　garage。　

〃It's　too　bad　that　you　had　to　leave　the　movie　early　last　week。〃　

I　was　a　little　confused　by　his　train　of　thought。　I　shrugged。　〃I'm　just　a　wimp；　I　guess。〃　

〃What　I　mean　is；　you　should　go　to　a　better　movie；　something　you'd　enjoy；〃　he　explained。　

〃Oh；〃　I　muttered；　still　confused。　

〃Like　maybe　this　Friday。　With　me。　We　could　go　see　something　that　isn't　scary　at　all。〃　

I　bit　my　lip。　

I　didn't　want　to　screw　things　up　with　Mike；　not　when　he　was　one　of　the　only　people　ready　to　forgive　me　
for　being　crazy。　But　this；　again；　felt　far　too　familiar。　Like　the　last　year　had　never　happened。　I　wished　I　had　
Jess　as　an　excuse　this　time。　

〃Like　a　date？〃　I　asked。　Honesty　was　probably　the　best　policy　at　this　point。　Get　it　over　with。　

He　processed　the　tone　of　my　voice　〃If　you　want。　But　it　doesn't　have　to　be　like　that。〃　

〃I　don't　date；〃　I　said　slowly；　realizing　how　true　that　was。　That　whole　world　seemed　impossibly　distant。　

〃Just　as　friends？〃　he　suggested。　His　clear　blue　eyes　were　not　as　eager　now。　I　hoped　he　really　meant　that　
we　could　be　friends　anyway。　

〃That　would　be　fun。　But　I　actually　have　plans　already　this　Friday；　so　maybe　next　week？〃　

〃What　are　you　doing？〃　he　asked；　less　casually　than　I　think　he　wanted　to　sound。　

〃Homework。　I　have　a…　study　session　planned　with　a　friend。〃　

〃Oh。　Okay。　Maybe　next　week。〃　

He　walked　me　to　my　car；　less　exuberant　than　before。　It　reminded　me　so　clearly　of　my　first　months　in　
Forks。　I'd　come　full　circle；　and　now　everything　felt　like　an　echo—an　empty　echo；　devoid　of　the　interest　it　
used　to　have。　

The　next　night；　Charlie　didn't　seem　the　smallest　bit　surprised　to　find　Jacob　and　me　sprawled　across　the　
living　room　floor　with　our　books　scattered　around　us；　so　I　guessed　that　he　and　Billy　were　talking　behind　
our　backs。　

〃Hey；　kids；〃　he　said；　his　eyes　straying　to　the　kitchen。　The　smell　of　the　lasagna　I'd　spent　the　afternoon　
making—while　Jacob　watched　and　occasionally　sampled—wafted　down　the　hall；　I　was　being　good；　
trying　to　atone　for　all　the　pizza。　

Jacob　stayed　for　dinner；　and　took　a　plate　home　for　Billy。　He　grudgingly　added　another　year　to　my　
negotiable　age　for　being　a　good　cook。　

Friday　was　the　gara