curious republic of gondour-第6节

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now　and　then　a　horse　sneezed。　　These　things　only　emphasised　the　solemnity
and　the　stillness。　　Everybody　got　so　listless　that　for　once　I　and　my
dreamer　found　ourselves　in　the　lead。　　It　was　a　glad；　new　sensation；　and
I　longed　to　keep　the　place　forevermore。　　Every　little　stir　in　the　dingy
cavalcade　behind　made　me　nervous。　　Davis　and　I　were　riding　side　by　side；
right　after　the　Arab。　　About　11　o'clock　it　had　become　really　chilly；　and
the　dozing　boys　roused　up　and　began　to　inquire　how　far　it　was　to　Ramlah
yet；　and　to　demand　that　the　Arab　hurry　along　faster。　　I　gave　it　up　then；
and　my　heart　sank　within　me；　because　of　course　they　would　come　up　to
scold　the　Arab。　　I　knew　I　had　to　take　the　rear　again。　　In　my　sorrow　I
unconsciously　took　to　my　pipe；　my　only　comfort。　　As　I　touched　the　match
to　it　the　whole　company　came　lumbering　up　and　crowding　my　horse's　rump
and　flanks。　　A　whiff　of　smoke　drifted　back　over　my　shoulder；　and

〃The　suffering　Moses！〃

〃Whew！〃

〃By　George；　who　opened　that　graveyard？〃

〃Boys；　that　Arab's　been　swallowing　something　dead！〃

Right　away　there　was　a　gap　behind　us。　　Whiff　after　whiff　sailed　airily
back；　and　each　one　widened　the　breach。　　Within　fifteen　seconds　the
barking；　and　gasping；　and　sneezing；　and　coughing　of　the　boys；　and　their
angry　abuse　of　the　Arab　guide；　had　dwindled　to　a　murmur；　and　Davis　and　I
were　alone　with　the　leader。　　Davis　did　not　know　what　the　matter　was；　and
don't　to　this　day。　　Occasionally　he　caught　a　faint　film　of　the　smoke　and
fell　to　scolding　at　the　Arab　and　wondering　how　long　he　had　been　decaying
in　that　way。　　Our　boys　kept　on　dropping　back　further　and　further；　till　at
last　they　were　only　in　hearing；　not　in　sight。　　And　every　time　they
started　gingerly　forward　to　reconnoitre　or　shoot　the　Arab；　as　they
proposed　to　doI　let　them　get　within　good　fair　range　of　my　relic　（she
would　carry　seventy　yards　with　wonderful　precision）；　and　then　wafted　a
whiff　among　them　that　sent　them　gasping　and　strangling　to　the　rear　again。
I　kept　my　gun　well　charged　and　ready；　and　twice　within　the　hour　I　decoyed
the　boys　right　up　to　my　horse's　tail；　and　then　with　one　malarious　blast
emptied　the　saddles；　almost。　　I　never　heard　an　Arab　abused　so　in　my　life。
He　really　owed　his　preservation　to　me；　because　for　one　entire　hour　I
stood　between　him　and　certain　death。　　The　boys　would　have　killed　him　if
they　could　have　got　by　me。

By　and　by；　when　the　company　were　far　in　the　rear；　I　put　away　my　pipe
I　was　getting　fearfully　dry　and　crisp　about　the　gills　and　rather　blown
with　good　diligent　workand　spurred　my　animated　trance　up　alongside　the
Arab　and　stopped　him　and　asked　for　water。　　He　unslung　his　little　gourd…
shaped　earthenware　jug；　and　I　put　it　under　my　moustache　and　took　a　long；
glorious；　satisfying　draught。　　I　was　going　to　scour　the　mouth　of　the　jug
a　little；　but　I　saw　that　I　had　brought　the　whole　train　together　once　more
by　my　delay；　and　that　they　were　all　anxious　to　drink　too…and　would　have
been　long　ago　if　the　Arab　had　not　pretended　that　he　was　out　of　water。
So　I　hastened　to　pass　the　vessel　to　Davis。　　He　took　a　mouthful；　and　never
said　a　word；　but　climbed　off　his　horse　and　lay　down　calmly　in　the　road。
I　felt　sorry　for　Davis。　　It　was　too　late　now；　though；　and　Dan　was
drinking。　　Dan　got　down　too；　and　hunted　for　a　soft　place。　　I　thought　I
heard　Dan　say；　〃That　Arab's　friends　ought　to　keep　him　in　alcohol　or　else
take　him　out　and　bury　him　somewhere。〃　　All　the　boys　took　a　drink　and
climbed　down。　　It　is　not　well　to　go　into　further　particulars。　　Let　us
draw　the　curtain　upon　this　act。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

Well；　now；　to　think　that　after　three　changing　years　I　should　hear　from
that　curious　old　relic　again；　and　see　Dan　advertising　it　for　sale　for　the
benefit　of　a　benevolent　object。　　Dan　is　not　treating　that　present　right。
I　gave　that　pipe　to　him　for　a　keepsake。　　However；　he　probably　finds　that
it　keeps　away　custom　and　interferes　with　business。　　It　is　the　most
convincing　inanimate　object　in　all　this　part　of　the　world；　perhaps。　　Dan
and　I　were　roommates　in　all　that　long　〃Quaker　City〃　voyage；　and　whenever
I　desired　to　have　a　little　season　of　privacy　I　used　to　fire　up　on　that
pipe　and　persuade　Dan　to　go　out；　and　he　seldom　waited　to　change　his
clothes；　either。　　In　about　a　quarter；　or　from　that　to　three…quarters　of　a
minute；　be　would　be　propping　up　the　smoke…stack　on　the　upper　deck　and
cursing。　　I　wonder　how　the　faithful　old　relic　is　going　to　sell？






A　REMINISCENCE　OF　THE　BACK　SETTLEMENTS

Now　that　corpse　＇said　the　undertaker；　patting　the　folded　hands　of　the
deceased　approvingly　was　a　brick…every　way　you　took　him　he　was　a　brick。
He　was　so　real　accommodating；　and　so　modest…like　and　simple　in　his　last
moments。　　Friends　wanted　metallic　burial　casenothing　else　would　do。
I　couldn't　get　it。　　There　warn't　going　to　be　time　anybody　could　see　that。
Corpse　said　never　mind；　shake　him　up　some　kind　of　a　box　he　could　stretch
out　in　comfortable；　he　warn't　particular　'bout　the　general　style　of　it。
Said　he　went　more　on　room　than　style；　any　way；　in　the　last　final
container。　　Friends　wanted　a　silver　door…plate　on　the　coffin；　signifying
who　he　was　and　wher；　he　was　from。　　Now　you　know　a　fellow　couldn't　roust
out　such　a　gaily　thing　as　that　in　a　little　country　town　like　this。　　What
did　corpse　say？　　Corpse　said；　whitewash　his　old　canoe　and　dob　his　address
and　general　destination　onto　it　with　a　blacking　brush　and　a　stencil
plate；　long　with　a　verse　from　some　likely　hymn　or　other；　and　pint　him　for
the　tomb；　and　mark　him　C。　O。　D。；　and　just　let　him　skip　along。　　He　warn't
distressed　any　more　than　you　beon　the　contrary　just　as　carm　and
collected　as　a　hearse…horse；　said　he　judged　that　wher'　he　was　going　to；
a　body　would　find　it　considerable　better　to　attract　attention　by　a
picturesque　moral　character　than　a　natty　burial　case　with　a　swell
doorplate　on　it。　　Splendid　man；　he　was。　　I'd　druther　do　for　a　corpse　like
that　'n　any　I've　tackled　in　seven　year。　　There's　some　satisfaction　in
buryin'　a　man　like　that。　　You　feel　that　what　you're　doing　is　appreciated。
Lord　bless　you；　so's　he　got　planted　before　he　sp'iled；　he　was　perfectly
satisfied；　said　his　relations　meant　well；　perfectly　well；　but　all　them
preparations　was　bound　to　delay　the　thing　more　or　less；　and　he　didn't
wish　to　be　kept　layin'　round。　　You　never　see　such　a　clear　head　as　what　he
hadand　so　carm　and　so　cool。　　Just　a　hunk　of　brains　that　is　what　he　was。
Perfectly　awful。　　It　was　a　ripping　distance　from　one　end　of　that　man's
head　to　t'other。　　Often　and　over　again　he's　had　brain　fever　a…raging　in
one　place；　and　the　rest　of　the　pile　didn't　know　anything　about　itdidn't
affect　it　any　more　than　an　Injun　insurrection　in　Arizona　affects　the
Atlantic　States。　　Well；　the　relations　they　wanted　a　big　funeral；　but
corpse　said　he　was　down　on　flummerydidn't　want　any　processionfill　the
hearse　full　of　mourners；　and　get　out　a　stern　line　and　tow　him　behind。
He　was　the　most　down　on　style　of　any　remains　I　ever　struck。　　A　beautiful；
simple…minded　creatureit　was　what　he　was；　you　can　depend　on　that。　　He
was　just　set　on　having　things　the　way　he　wanted　them；　and　he　took　a　solid
comfort　in　laying　his　little　plans。　　He　had　me　measure　him　and　take　a
whole　raft　of　directions；　then　he　had　a　minister　stand　up　behind　a　long
box　with　a　tablecloth　over　it　and　read　his　funeral　sermon；　saying
'Angcore；　angcore！'　at　the　good　places；　and　making　him　scratch　out　every
bit　of　brag　about　him；　and　all　the　hifalutin；　and　then　he　made　them　trot
out　the　choir　so's　he　could　help　them　pick　out　the　tunes　for　the
occasion；　and　he　got　them　to　sing　'Pop　Goes　the　Weasel；'　because　he'd
always　liked　that　tune　when　he　was　downhearted；　and　solemn　music　made　him
sad；　and　when　they　sung　that　with　tears　in　their　eyes　（because　they　all
loved　him）；　and　his　relations　grieving　around；　he　just　laid　there　as
happy　as　a　bug；　and　trying　to　beat　time　and　showing　all　over　how　much　he
enjoyed　it；　and　presently　he　got　worked　up　and　excited；　and　tried　to　join
in；　for　mind　you　he　was　pretty　proud　of　his　abilities　in　the　singing
line；　but　the　first　time　he　opened　his　mouth　and　was　just　going　to　spread
himself；　his　breath　took　a　walk。　　I　never　see　a　man　snuffed　out　so
sudden。　　Ah；　it　was　a　great　lossit　was　a　powerful　loss　to　this　poor
little　one…horse　town。　　Well；　well；　well；　I　hain't　got　time　to　be
palavering　along　heregot　to　nail　on　the　lid　and　mosey　along　with'　him；
and　if　you'll　just　give　me　a　lift　we'll　skeet　him　into　the　hearse　and
meander　along。　　Relations　bound　to　have　it　sodon't　pay　no　attention　to
dying　injunctions；　minute　a　corpse's　gone；　but　if　I　had　my　way；　if　I
didn't　respect　his　last　wishes　and　tow　him　behind　the　hearse；　I'll　be
cuss'd。　　I　consider　that　whatever　a　corpse　wants　done　for　his　comfort　is
a　little　enough　matter；　and　a　man　hain't　got　no　right　to　deceive　him　or
take　advantage　of　himand　whatever　a　corpse　trusts　me　to　do　I'm　a…going
to　do；　you　know；　even　if　it's　to　stuff　him　and　paint　him　yaller　and　keep
him　for　a　keepsakeyou　hear　me！〃

He　cracked　his　whip　and　went　lumbering　away　with　his　ancient　ruin　of　a
hearse；　and　I　continued　my　walk　with　a　valuable　lesson　learnedthat　a
healthy　and　wholesome　cheerfulness　is　not　nece