curious republic of gondour-第1节

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Curious　Republic　of　Gondour

by　Mark　Twain




THE　CURIOUS　REPUBLIC　OF　GONDOUR　AND　OTHER　WHIMSICAL　SKETCHES


NOTE：

Most　of　the　sketches　in　this　volume　were　taken　from　a　series　the　author
wrote　for　The　Galaxy　from　May；　1870；　to　April；　1871。　　The　rest　appeared
in　The　Buffalo　Express。




TABLE　OF　CONTENTS

THE　CURIOUS　REPUBLIC　OF　GONDOUR
A　MEMORY
INTRODUCTORY　TO　〃MEMORANDA〃。
ABOUT　SMELT
A　COUPLE　OF　SAD　EXPERIENCES
DAN　MURPHY
THE　〃TOURNAMENT〃　IN　A。D。　1870
CURIOUS　RELIC　FOR　SALE
A　REMINISCENCE　OF　THE　BACK　SETTLEMENTS
A　ROYAL　COMPLIMENT
THE　APPROACHING　EPIDEMIC
THE　TONE…IMPARTING　COMMITTEE
OUR　PRECIOUS　LUNATIC
THE　EUROPEAN　WAR
THE　WILD　MAN　INTERVIEWED
LAST　WORDS　OF　GREAT　MEN




THE　CURIOUS　REPUBLIC　OF　GONDOUR

As　soon　as　I　had　learned　to　speak　the　language　a　little；　I　became　greatly
interested　in　the　people　and　the　system　of　government。

I　found　that　the　nation　had　at　first　tried　universal　suffrage　pure　and
simple；　but　had　thrown　that　form　aside　because　the　result　was　not
satisfactory。　　It　had　seemed　to　deliver　all　power　into　the　hands　of　the
ignorant　and　non…tax…paying　classes；　and　of　a　necessity　the　responsible
offices　were　filled　from　these　classes　also。

A　remedy　was　sought。　　The　people　believed　they　had　found　it；　not　in　the
destruction　of　universal　suffrage；　but　in　the　enlargement　of　it。　　It　was
an　odd　idea；　and　ingenious。　　You　must　understand；　the　constitution　gave
every　man　a　vote；　therefore　that　vote　was　a　vested　right；　and　could　not
be　taken　away。　　But　the　constitution　did　not　say　that　certain　individuals
might　not　be　given　two　votes；　or　ten！　　So　an　amendatory　clause　was
inserted　in　a　quiet　way；　a　clause　which　authorised　the　enlargement　of　the
suffrage　in　certain　cases　to　be　specified　by　statute。　　To　offer　to
〃limit〃　the　suffrage　might　have　made　instant　trouble；　the　offer　to
〃enlarge〃　it　had　a　pleasant　aspect。　　But　of　course　the　newspapers　soon
began　to　suspect；　and　then　out　they　came！　　It　was　found；　however；　that
for　onceand　for　the　first　time　in　the　history　of　the　republic
property；　character；　and　intellect　were　able　to　wield　a　political
influence；　for　once；　money；　virtue；　and　intelligence　took　a　vital　and　a
united　interest　in　a　political　question；　for　once　these　powers　went　to
the　〃primaries〃　in　strong　force；　for　once　the　best　men　in　the　nation　were
put　forward　as　candidates　for　that　parliament　whose　business　it　should　be
to　enlarge　the　suffrage。　　The　weightiest　half　of　the　press　quickly　joined
forces　with　the　new　movement；　and　left　the　other　half　to　rail　about　the
proposed　〃destruction　of　the　liberties〃　of　the　bottom　layer　of　society；
the　hitherto　governing　class　of　the　community。

The　victory　was　complete。　　The　new　law　was　framed　and　passed。　　Under　it
every　citizen；　howsoever　poor　or　ignorant；　possessed　one　vote；
so　universal　suffrage　still　reigned；　but　if　a　man　possessed　a　good
common…school　education　and　no　money；　he　had　two　votes；　a　high…school
education　gave　him　four；　if　he　had　property　like　wise；　to　the　value　of
three　thousand　'sacos；'　he　wielded　one　more　vote；　for　every　fifty
thousand　'sacos'　a　man　added　to　his　property；　he　was　entitled　to　another
vote；　a　university　education　entitled　a　man　to　nine　votes；　even　though　he
owned　no　property。　　Therefore；　learning　being　more　prevalent　and　more
easily　acquired　than　riches；　educated　men　became　a　wholesome　check　upon
wealthy　men；　since　they　could　outvote　them。　　Learning　goes　usually　with
uprightness；　broad　views；　and　humanity；　so　the　learned　voters；　possessing
the　balance　of　power；　became　the　vigilant　and　efficient　protectors　of　the
great　lower　rank　of　society。

And　now　a　curious　thing　developed　itselfa　sort　of　emulation；　whose
object　was　voting　power！　　Whereas　formerly　a　man　was　honored　only
according　to　the　amount　of　money　he　possessed；　his　grandeur　was　measured
now　by　the　number　of　votes　he　wielded。　　A　man　with　only　one　vote　was
conspicuously　respectful　to　his　neighbor　who　possessed　three。　　And　if　he
was　a　man　above　the　common…place；　he　was　as　conspicuously　energetic　in
his　determination　to　acquire　three　for　himself。　　This　spirit　of　emulation
invaded　all　ranks。　　Votes　based　upon　capital　were　commonly　called
〃mortal〃　votes；　because　they　could　be　lost；　those　based　upon　learning
were　called　〃immortal；〃　because　they　were　permanent；　and　because　of　their
customarily　imperishable　character　they　were　naturally　more　valued　than
the　other　sort。　　I　say　〃customarily〃　for　the　reason　that　these　votes　were
not　absolutely　imperishable；　since　insanity　could　suspend　them。

Under　this　system；　gambling　and　speculation　almost　ceased　in　the
republic。　　A　man　honoured　as　the　possessor　of　great　voting　power　could
not　afford　to　risk　the　loss　of　it　upon　a　doubtful　chance。

It　was　curious　to　observe　the　manners　and　customs　which　the　enlargement
plan　produced。　　Walking　the　street　with　a　friend　one　day　he　delivered　a
careless　bow　to　a　passer…by；　and　then　remarked　that　that　person　possessed
only　one　vote　and　would　probably　never　earn　another；　he　was　more
respectful　to　the　next　acquaintance　he　met；　he　explained　that　this　salute
was　a　four…vote　bow。　　I　tried　to　〃average〃　the　importance　of　the　people
he　accosted　after　that；　by　the…nature　of　his　bows；　but　my　success　was
only　partial；　because　of　the　somewhat　greater　homage　paid　to　the
immortals　than　to　the　mortals。　　My　friend　explained。　　He　said　there　was
no　law　to　regulate　this　thing；　except　that　most　powerful　of　all　laws；
custom。　　Custom　had　created　these　varying　bows；　and　in　time　they　had
become　easy　and　natural。　　At　this　moment　he　delivered　himself　of　a　very
profound　salute；　and　then　said；　〃Now　there's　a　man　who　began　life　as　a
shoemaker's　apprentice；　and　without　education；　now　he　swings　twenty…two
mortal　votes　and　two　immortal　ones；　he　expects　to　pass　a　high…school
examination　this　year　and　climb　a　couple　of　votes　higher　among　the
immortals；　mighty　valuable　citizen。〃

By　and　by　my　friend　met　a　venerable　personage；　and　not　only　made　him　a
most　elaborate　bow；　but　also　took　off　his　hat。　　I　took　off　mine；　too；
with　a　mysterious　awe。　　I　was　beginning　to　be　infected。

〃What　grandee　is　that？〃

〃That　is　our　most　illustrious　astronomer。　　He　hasn't　any　money；　but　is
fearfully　learned。　　Nine　immortals　is　his　political　weight！　　He　would
swing　a　hundred　and　fifty　votes　if　our　system　were　perfect。〃

〃Is　there　any　altitude　of　mere　moneyed：　grandeur　that　you　take　off　your
hat　to？〃

〃No。　　Nine　immortal　votes　is　the　only　power　we　uncover　for　that　is；　in
civil　life。　　Very　great　officials　receive　that　mark　of　homage；　of
course。〃

It　was　common　to　hear　people　admiringly　mention　men　who　had　begun　life　on
the　lower　levels　and　in　time　achieved　great　voting…power。　　It　was　also
common　to　hear　youths　planning　a　future　of　ever　so　many　votes　for
themselves。　　I　heard　shrewd　mammas　speak　of　certain　young　men　as　good
〃catches〃　because　they　possessed　such…and…such　a　number　of　votes。　　I　knew
of　more　than　one　case　where　an　heiress　was　married　to　a　youngster　who　had
but　one　vote；　the　argument　being　that　he　was　gifted　with　such　excellent
parts　that　in　time　he　would　acquire　a　good　voting　strength；　and　perhaps
in　the　long　run　be　able　to　outvote　his　wife；　if　he　had　luck。

Competitive　examinations　were　the　rule　and　in　all　official　grades。　　I
remarked　that　the　questions　asked　the　candidates　were　wild；　intricate；
and　often　required　a　sort　of　knowledge　not　needed　in　the　office　sought。

〃Can　a　fool　or　an　ignoramus　answer　them？〃　asked　the　person　I　was　talking
with。

〃Certainly　not。〃

〃Well；　you　will　not　find　any　fools　or　ignoramuses　among　our　officials。〃

I　felt　rather　cornered；　but　made　shift　to　say：

〃But　these　questions　cover　a　good　deal　more　ground　than　is　necessary。〃

〃No　matter；　if　candidates　can　answer　these　it　is　tolerably　fair　evidence
that　they　can　answer　nearly　any　other　question　you　choose　to　ask　them。〃

There　were　some　things　in　Gondour　which　one　could　not　shut　his　eyes　to。
One　was；　that　ignorance　and　incompetence　had　no　place　in　the　government。
Brains　and　property　managed　the　state。　　A　candidate　for　office　must　have
marked　ability；　education；　and　high　character；　or　he　stood　no　sort　of
chance　of　election。　　If　a　hod…carrier　possessed　these；　he　could　succeed；
but　the　mere　fact　that　he　was　a　hod…carrier　could　not　elect　him；　as　in
previous　times。

It　was　now　a　very　great　honour　to　be　in　the　parliament　or　in　office；
under　the　old　system　such　distinction　had　only　brought　suspicion　upon　a
man　and　made　him　a　helpless　mark　for　newspaper　contempt　and　scurrility。
Officials　did　not　need　to　steal　now；　their　salaries　being　vast　in
comparison　with　the　pittances　paid　in　the　days　when　parliaments　were
created　by　hod…carriers；　who　viewed　official　salaries　from　a　hod…carrying
point　of　view　and　compelled　that　view　to　be　respected　by　their　obsequious
servants。　　Justice　was　wisely　and　rigidly　administered；　for　a　judge；
after　once　reaching　his　place　through　the　specified　line　of　promotions；
was　a　permanency　during　good　behaviour。　　He　was　not　obliged　to　modify　his
judgments　according　to　the　effect　they　might　have　upon　the　temper　of　a
reigning　political　party。

The　country　was　mainly　governed　by　a　ministry　which　went