agnes grey(艾格尼丝·格累)-第32节
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my meeting him on the road。
'Never mind！' thought I； 'there'll be no great harm done。 Poor Mark
will be glad of the half…crown； and perhaps of the good book too； and if
the Rector does steal Miss Rosalie's heart； it will only humble her pride a
little； and if they do get married at last； it will only save her from a worse
fate； and she will be quite a good enough partner for him； and he for her。'
Mark Wood was the consumptive labourer whom I mentioned before。
He was now rapidly wearing away。 Miss Murray； by her liberality；
obtained literally the blessing of him that was ready to perish； for though
the half…crown could be of very little service to him； he was glad of it for
the sake of his wife and children； so soon to be widowed and fatherless。
After I had sat a few minutes； and read a little for the comfort and
edification of himself and his afflicted wife； I left them； but I had not
proceeded fifty yards before I encountered Mr。 Weston； apparently on his
way to the same abode。 He greeted me in his usual quiet； unaffected way；
stopped to inquire about the condition of the sick man and his family； and
with a sort of unconscious； brotherly disregard to ceremony took from my
hand the book out of which I had been reading； turned over its pages；
made a few brief but very sensible remarks； and restored it； then told me
about some poor sufferer he had just been visiting； talked a little about
Nancy Brown； made a few observations upon my little rough friend the
terrier； that was frisking at his feet； and finally upon the beauty of the
weather； and departed。
I have omitted to give a detail of his words； from a notion that they
would not interest the reader as they did me； and not because I have
forgotten them。 No； I remember them well； for I thought them over and
over again in the course of that day and many succeeding ones； I know not
how often； and recalled every intonation of his deep； clear voice； every
flash of his quick； brown eye； and every gleam of his pleasant； but too
transient smile。 Such a confession will look very absurd； I fear： but no
matter： I have written it： and they that read it will not know the writer。
While I was walking along； happy within； and pleased with all around；
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Miss Murray came hastening to meet me； her buoyant step； flushed cheek；
and radiant smiles showing that she； too； was happy； in her own way。
Running up to me； she put her arm through mine； and without waiting to
recover breath； began … 'Now； Miss Grey； think yourself highly honoured；
for I'm come to tell you my news before I've breathed a word of it to
anyone else。'
'Well； what is it？'
'Oh； SUCH news！ In the first place； you must know that Mr。 Hatfield
came upon me just after you were gone。 I was in such a way for fear
papa or mamma should see him； but you know I couldn't call you back
again； and so！ … oh； dear！ I can't tell you all about it now； for there's
Matilda； I see； in the park； and I must go and open my budget to her。 But；
however； Hatfield was most uncommonly audacious； unspeakably
complimentary； and unprecedentedly tender … tried to be so； at least … he
didn't succeed very well in THAT； because it's not his vein。 I'll tell you
all he said another time。'
'But what did YOU say … I'm more interested in that？'
'I'll tell you that； too； at some future period。 I happened to be in a
very good humour just then； but； though I was complaisant and gracious
enough； I took care not to compromise myself in any possible way。 But；
however； the conceited wretch chose to interpret my amiability of temper
his own way； and at length presumed upon my indulgence so far … what do
you think？ … he actually made me an offer！'
'And you … '
'I proudly drew myself up； and with the greatest coolness expressed
my astonishment at such an occurrence； and hoped he had seen nothing in
my conduct to justify his expectations。 You should have SEEN how his
countenance fell！ He went perfectly white in the face。 I assured him
that I esteemed him and all that； but could not possibly accede to his
proposals； and if I did； papa and mamma could never be brought to give
their consent。'
'〃But if they could；〃 said he； 〃would yours be wanting？〃
'〃Certainly； Mr。 Hatfield；〃 I replied； with a cool decision which quelled
all hope at once。 Oh； if you had seen how dreadfully mortified he was …
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how crushed to the earth by his disappointment！ really； I almost pitied him
myself。
'One more desperate attempt； however； he made。 After a silence of
considerable duration； during which he struggled to be calm； and I to be
grave … for I felt a strong propensity to laugh … which would have ruined
all … he said； with the ghost of a smile … 〃But tell me plainly； Miss Murray；
if I had the wealth of Sir Hugh Meltham； or the prospects of his eldest son；
would you still refuse me？ Answer me truly； upon your honour。〃
'〃Certainly；〃 said I。 〃That would make no difference whatever。〃
'It was a great lie； but he looked so confident in his own attractions
still； that I determined not to leave him one stone upon another。 He
looked me full in the face； but I kept my countenance so well that he could
not imagine I was saying anything more than the actual truth。
'〃Then it's all over； I suppose；〃 he said； looking as if he could have
died on the spot with vexation and the intensity of his despair。 But he
was angry as well as disappointed。 There was he； suffering so
unspeakably； and there was I； the pitiless cause of it all； so utterly
impenetrable to all the artillery of his looks and words； so calmly cold and
proud； he could not but feel some resentment； and with singular bitterness
he began … 〃I certainly did not expect this； Miss Murray。 I might say
something about your past conduct； and the hopes you have led me to
foster； but I forbear； on condition … 〃
'〃No conditions； Mr。 Hatfield！〃 said I； now truly indignant at his
insolence。
'〃Then let me beg it as a favour；〃 he replied； lowering his voice at once；
and taking a humbler tone： 〃let me entreat that you will not mention this
affair to anyone whatever。 If you will keep silence about it； there need be
no unpleasantness on either side … nothing； I mean； beyond what is quite
unavoidable： for my own feelings I will endeavour to keep to myself； if I
cannot annihilate them … I will try to forgive； if I cannot forget the cause of
my sufferings。 I will not suppose； Miss Murray； that you know how
deeply you have injured me。 I would not have you aware of it； but if； in
addition to the injury you have already done me … pardon me； but； whether
innocently or not； you HAVE done it … and if you add to it by giving
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publicity to this unfortunate affair； or naming it AT ALL； you will find that
I too can speak； and though you scorned my love； you will hardly scorn
my … 〃
'He stopped； but he bit his bloodless lip； and looked so terribly fierce
that I was quite frightened。 However； my pride upheld me still； and I
answered disdainfully； 〃I do not know what motive you suppose I could
have for naming it to anyone； Mr。 Hatfield； but if I were disposed to do so；
you would not deter me by threats； and it is scarcely the part of a
gentleman to attempt it。〃
'〃Pardon me； Miss Murray；〃 said he； 〃I have loved you so intensely … I
do still adore you so deeply； that I would not willingly offend
