agnes grey(艾格尼丝·格累)-第25节
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'〃And； indeed；〃 says he； 〃I've nothing to say to you but what I've said
before。 Take the sacrament； of course； and go on doing your duty； and if
that won't serve you； nothing will。 So don't bother me any more。〃
'So then； I went away。 But I heard Maister Weston … Maister Weston
was there； Miss … this was his first Sunday at Horton； you know； an' he was
i' th' vestry in his surplice； helping th' Rector on with his gown … '
'Yes； Nancy。'
'And I heard him ask Maister Hatfield who I was； an' he says； 〃Oh；
she's a canting old fool。〃
'And I was very ill grieved； Miss Grey； but I went to my seat； and I
tried to do my duty as aforetime： but I like got no peace。 An' I even
took the sacrament； but I felt as though I were eating and drinking to my
own damnation all th' time。 So I went home； sorely troubled。
'But next day； afore I'd gotten fettled up … for indeed； Miss； I'd no heart
to sweeping an' fettling； an' washing pots； so I sat me down i' th' muck …
who should come in but Maister Weston！ I started siding stuff then； an'
sweeping an' doing； and I expected he'd begin a…calling me for my idle
ways； as Maister Hatfield would a' done； but I was mista'en： he only bid
me good…mornin' like； in a quiet dacent way。 So I dusted him a chair； an'
fettled up th' fireplace a bit； but I hadn't forgotten th' Rector's words； so
says I； 〃I wonder； sir； you should give yourself that trouble； to come so far
to see a 'canting old fool；' such as me。〃
'He seemed taken aback at that； but he would fain persuade me 'at the
Rector was only in jest； and when that wouldn't do； he says； 〃Well； Nancy；
you shouldn't think so much about it： Mr。 Hatfield was a little out of
humour just then： you know we're none of us perfect … even Moses
spoke unadvisedly with his lips。 But now sit down a minute； if you can
spare the time； and tell me all your doubts and fears； and I'll try to remove
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them。〃
'So I sat me down anent him。 He was quite a stranger； you know；
Miss Grey； and even YOUNGER nor Maister Hatfield； I believe； and I had
thought him not so pleasant…looking as him； and rather a bit crossish； at
first； to look at； but he spake so civil like … and when th' cat； poor thing；
jumped on to his knee； he only stroked her； and gave a bit of a smile： so
I thought that was a good sign； for once； when she did so to th' Rector； he
knocked her off； like as it might be in scorn and anger； poor thing。 But
you can't expect a cat to know manners like a Christian； you know； Miss
Grey。'
'No； of course not； Nancy。 But what did Mr。 Weston say then？'
'He said nought； but he listened to me as steady an' patient as could be；
an' never a bit o' scorn about him； so I went on； an' telled him all； just as
I've telled you … an' more too。
'〃Well；〃 says he； 〃Mr。 Hatfield was quite right in telling you to
persevere in doing your duty； but in advising you to go to church and
attend to the service； and so on； he didn't mean that was the whole of a
Christian's duty： he only thought you might there learn what more was to
be done； and be led to take delight in those exercises； instead of finding
them a task and a burden。 And if you had asked him to explain those
words that trouble you so much； I think he would have told you； that if
many shall seek to enter in at the strait gate and shall not be able； it is their
own sins that hinder them； just as a man with a large sack on his back
might wish to pass through a narrow doorway； and find it impossible to do
so unless he would leave his sack behind him。 But you； Nancy； I dare
say； have no sins that you would not gladly throw aside； if you knew
how？〃
'〃Indeed； sir； you speak truth；〃 said I。
'〃Well；〃 says he； 〃you know the first and great commandment … and the
second； which is like unto it … on which two commandments hang all the
law and the prophets？ You say you cannot love God； but it strikes me
that if you rightly consider who and what He is； you cannot help it。 He is
your father； your best friend： every blessing； everything good； pleasant；
or useful； comes from Him； and everything evil； everything you have
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reason to hate； to shun； or to fear； comes from Satan … HIS enemy as well
as ours。 And for THIS cause was God manifest in the flesh； that He
might destroy the works of the Devil： in one word； God is LOVE； and
the more of love we have within us； the nearer we are to Him and the more
of His spirit we possess。〃
'〃Well； sir；〃 I said； 〃if I can always think on these things； I think I
might well love God： but how can I love my neighbours； when they vex
me； and be so contrary and sinful as some on 'em is？〃
'〃It may seem a hard matter；〃 says he； 〃to love our neighbours； who
have so much of what is evil about them； and whose faults so often
awaken the evil that lingers within ourselves； but remember that HE made
them； and HE loves them； and whosoever loveth him that begat； loveth
him that is begotten also。 And if God so loveth us； that He gave His only
begotten Son to die for us； we ought also to love one another。 But if you
cannot feel positive affection for those who do not care for you； you can at
least try to do to them as you would they should do unto you： you can
endeavour to pity their failings and excuse their offences； and to do all the
good you can to those about you。 And if you accustom yourself to this；
Nancy； the very effort itself will make you love them in some degree … to
say nothing of the goodwill your kindness would beget in them； though
they might have little else that is good about them。 If we love God and
wish to serve Him； let us try to be like Him； to do His work； to labour for
His glory … which is the good of man … to hasten the coming of His
kingdom； which is the peace and happiness of all the world： however
powerless we may seem to be； in doing all the good we can through life；
the humblest of us may do much towards it： and let us dwell in love； that
He may dwell in us and we in Him。 The more happiness we bestow； the
more we shall receive； even here； and the greater will be our reward in
heaven when we rest from our labours。〃 I believe； Miss； them is his very
words； for I've thought 'em ower many a time。 An' then he took that
Bible； an' read bits here and there； an' explained 'em as clear as the day：
and it seemed like as a new light broke in on my soul； an' I felt fair aglow
about my heart； an' only wished poor Bill an' all the world could ha' been
there； an' heard it all； and rejoiced wi' me。
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'After he was gone； Hannah Rogers； one o' th' neighbours； came in and
wanted me to help her to wash。 I telled her I couldn't just then； for I
hadn't set on th' potaties for th' dinner； nor washed up th' breakfast stuff yet。
So then she began a…calling me for my nasty idle ways。 I was a little bit
vexed at first； but I never said nothing wrong to her： I only telled her like
all in a quiet way； 'at I'd had th' new parson to see me； but I'd get done as
quick as ever I could； an' then come an' help her。 So then she softened
down； and my heart like as it warmed towards her； an' in a bit we was very
good friends。 An' so it is； Miss Grey； 〃a soft answer turneth away wrath；
but grievous words stir up anger。〃 It isn't only in them you speak to； but
in yourself。'
'Very true； Nancy； if we could always remember it。'
'Ay； if we could！'
'And did Mr。 Weston ever come to see you again？'
'Yes； many a time； and since my eyes has been so bad； he's sat an' read
to me by the half…hour together：
