sk.thewastelands-第9节

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　　He　loves　the　land　and　loves　the　sea；
　　And　even　loves　a　child　like　me。〃
　　
　　Roland　uttered　a　small；　bemused　laugh。　〃Hax　taught　that　to　me；　singing　it　as　he　stirred　the　frosting　for　some　cake　and　gave　me　little　nips　of　the　sweet　from　the　edge　of　his　spoon。　Amazing　what　we　remember；　isn't　it？　Anyway；　as　I　grew　older；　I　came　to　believe　that　the　Guardians　didn't　really　exist…that　they　were　symbols　rather　than　substance。　It　seems　that　I　was　wrong。〃
　　〃I　called　it　a　robot；〃　Eddie　said；　〃but　that's　not　what　it　really　was。　Susannah's　right…the　only　thing　robots　bleed　when　you　shoot　them　is　Quaker　State　10…40。　I　think　it　was　what　people　of　my　world　call　a　cyborg；　Roland…a　creature　that's　part　machine　and　part　flesh　and　blood。　There　was　a　movie　I　saw　。　。　。　we　told　you　about　movies；　didn't　we？〃　'
　　Smiling　a　little；　Roland　nodded。
　　〃Well；　this　movie　was　called　Robocop；　and　the　guy　in　it　wasn't　a　lot　different　from　the　bear　Susannah　killed。　How　did　you　know　where　she　should　shoot　it？〃
　　〃That　I　remembered　from　the　old　tales　as　Hax　told　them；〃　he　said。　〃If　it　had　been　up　to　my　nursemaid；　Eddie；　you'd　be　in　the　belly　of　the　bear　now。　Do　they　sometimes　tell　puzzled　children　in　your　world　to　put　on　their　thinking　caps？〃
　　〃Yes；'　　Susannah　said。　〃They　sure　do。〃
　　〃It's　said　here；　as　well；　and　the　saying　es　from　the　story　of　the　Guardians。　Each　supposedly　carried　an　extra　brain　on　the　outside　of　its　head。　In　a　hat。〃　He　looked　at　them　with　his　dreadfully　haunted　eyes　and　smiled　again。　〃It　didn　t　look　much　like　a　hat；　did　it？〃
　　〃No；〃　Eddie　said；　〃but　the　story　was　close　enough　to　save　our　bacon。〃
　　〃I　think　now　that　I've　been　looking　for　one　of　the　Guardians　ever　since　I　began　my　quest；〃　Roland　said。　〃When　we　find　the　portal　this　Shardik　guarded…and　that　should　only　be　a　matter　of　following　its　back…trail…we　will　finally　have　a　course　to　follow。　We　must　set　the　portal　to　our　backs　and　then　simply　move　straight　ahead。　At　the　center　of　the　circle　。　。　。　the　Tower。〃
　　Eddie　opened　his　mouth　to　say。　All　right；　let's　talk　about　this　Tower。　Finally；　once　and　for　all；　let's　talk　about　it…what　it　is；　what　it　means；　and；　most　important　of　all；　what　happens　to　us　when　we　get　there。　But　no　sound　came　out；　and　after　a　moment　he　closed　his　mouth　again。　This　wasn't　the　time…not　now；　with　Roland　in　such　obvious　pain。　Not　now；　with　only　the　spark　of　their　campfire　to　keep　the　night　at　bay。
　　〃So　now　we　e　to　the　other　part；〃　Roland　said　heavily。　〃I　have　finally　found　my　course…after　all　the　long　years　I　have　found　my　course…but　at　the　same　time　I　seem　to　be　losing　my　sanity。　I　can　feel　it　crumbling　away　beneath　my　feet；　like　a　steep　embankment　which　has　been　loosened　by　rain。　This　is　my　punishment　for　letting　a　boy　who　never　existed　fall　to　his　death。　And　that　is　also　ka。〃
　　〃Who　is　this　boy；　Roland？〃　Susannah　asked。
　　Roland　glanced　at　Eddie。　〃Do　you　know？〃
　　Eddie　shook　his　head。
　　〃But　I　spoke　of　him；〃　Roland　said。　〃In　fact；　I　raved　of　him；　when　the　infection　was　at　its　worst　and　I　was　near　dying。〃　The　gunslinger's　voice　suddenly　rose　half　an　octave；　and　his　imitation　of　Eddie's　voice　was　so　good　that　Susannah　felt　a　coil　of　superstitious　fright。　〃　'If　you　don't　shut　up　about　that　goddam　kid；　Roland；　I'll　gag　you　with　your　own　shirt！　I'm　sick　of　hearing　about　him！'　Do　you　remember　saying　that；　Eddie？〃
　　Eddie　thought　it　over　carefully。　Roland　had　spoken　of　a　thousand　things　as　the　two　of　them　made　their　tortuous　way　up　the　beach　from　the　door　marked　THE　PRISONER　to　the　one　marked　THE　LADY　OF　THE　SHADOWS；　and　he　had　mentioned　what　seemed　like　a　thousand　names　in　his　fever…heated　monologues…Alain；　Cort；　Jamie　de　Curry；　Cuthbert　（this　one　more　often　than　all　the　others）；　Hax；　Martin　（or　per…haps　it　was　Marten；　like　the　animal）；　Walter；　Susan；　even　a　guy　with　the　unlikely　name　of　Zoltan。　Eddie　had　gotten　very　tired　of　hearing　about　these　people　he　had　never　met　（and　didn't　care　to　meet）；　but　of　course　Eddie　had　had　a　few　problems　of　his　own　at　that　time；　heroin　withdrawal　and　cosmic　jet…lag　being　only　two　of　them。　And；　if　he　was　to　be　fair；　he　guessed　Roland　had　gotten　as　tired　of　Eddie's　own　Fractured　Fairy　Tales…the　ones　about　how　he　and　Henry　had　grown　up　together　and　turned　into　junkies　together…as　Eddie　had　of　Roland's。
　　But　he　couldn't　remember　ever　telling　Roland　he　would　gag　him　with　his　own　shirt　if　he　didn't　stop　talking　about　some　kid。
　　〃Nothing　es　to　you？〃　Roland　asked。　〃Nothing　at　all？〃
　　Was　there　something？　Some　far…off　tickle；　like　the　feeling　of　deja　vu　he'd　gotten　when　he　saw　the　slingshot　hiding　inside　the　chunk　of　wood　jutting　out　of　the　stump？　Eddie　tried　to　find　that　tickle；　but　it　was　gone。　He　decided　it　had　never　been　there　in　the　first　place；　he　only　wanted　it　to　be　there；　because　Roland　was　hurting　so　badly。
　　〃No；〃　he　said。　〃Sorry；　man。〃
　　〃But　I　did　tell　you。〃　Roland's　tone　was　calm；　but　urgency　ran　and　pulsed　beneath　it　like　a　scarlet　thread。　〃The　boy's　name　was　Jake。　I　sacrificed　him…killed　him…in　order　that　I　might　finally　catch　up　with　Walter　and　make　him　talk。　I　killed　him　under　the　mountains。〃
　　On　this　point　Eddie　could　be　more　positive。　〃Well；　maybe　that's　what　happened；　but　it's　not　what　you　said　happened。　You　said　you　went　under　the　mountains　alone；　on　some　land　of　crazy　handcar。　You　talked　about　that　a　lot　while　we　were　ing　up　the　beach；　Roland。　About　how　scary　it　was　to　be　alone。〃
　　〃I　remember。　But　I　also　remember　telling　you　about　the　boy；　and　how　he　fell　from　the　trestle　into　the　chasm。　And　it's　the　distance　between　those　two　memories　that　is　pulling　my　mind　apart。〃
　　〃I　don't　understand　any　of　this；〃　Susannah　said　worriedly。
　　〃I　think；〃　Roland　said；　〃that　I'm　just　beginning　to。〃
　　He　threw　more　wood　on　the　fire；　sending　thick　sheaves　of　red　sparks　spiralling　up　into　the　dark　sky；　and　then　settled　back　between　them。　〃I'll　tell　you　a　story　that's　true；〃　he　said；　〃and　then　I'll　tell　you　a　story　that　isn't　true　。　。　。　but　should　be。
　　〃I　bought　a　mule　in　Pricetown；　and　when　I　finally　got　to　lull；　the　last　town　before　the　desert；　it　was　still　fresh　。　。　。〃
　　
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　　So　THE　GUNSLINGER　EMBARKED　on　the　most　recent　part　of　his　long　tale。　Eddie　had　heard　isolated　fragments　of　the　story；　but　he　listened　in　utter　fascination；　as　did　Susannah；　for　whom　it　was　pletely　new。　He　told　them　about　the　bar　with　the　endless　game　of　Watch　Me　going　on　in　the　corner；　the　piano　player　named　Sheb；　the　woman　named　Allie　with　the　scar　on　her　forehead　。　。　。　and　about　Nort；　the　weed…eater　who　had　died　and　then　been　brought　back　to　some　sort　of　tenebrous　life　by　the　man　in　black。　He　told　them　about　Sylvia　Pittston；　that　avatar　of　religious　insanity；　and　about　the　final　apocalyptic　slaughter；　in　which　he；　Roland　the　Gunslinger；　had　killed　every　man；　woman；　and　child　in　town。
　　〃Holy　crispy　crap！〃　Eddie　said　in　a　low；　shaky　voice。　〃Now　I　know　why　you　were　so　low　on　shells；　Roland。〃
　　〃Be　quiet！〃　Susannah　snapped。　〃Let　him　finish！〃
　　Roland　went　on；　telling　his　story　as　stolidly　as　he　had　crossed　the　desert　after　passing　the　hut　of　the　last　Dweller；　a　young　man　whose　wild；　strawberry…colored　hair　had　reached　almost　to　his　waist。　He　told　them　about　how　his　mule　had　finally　died。　He　even　told　them　about　how　the　Dweller's　pet　bird；　Zoltan；　had　eaten　the　mule's　eyes。
　　He　told　them　about　the　long　desert　days　and　the　short　desert　nights　which　had　e　next；　and　how　he　had　followed　the　cool　remains　of　Walter's　campfires；　and　how　he　had　e　at　last；　reeling　and　dying　of　dehydration；　to　the　way　station。
　　〃It　was　empty。　It　had　been　empty；　I　think；　since　the　days　when　yonder　great　bear　was　still　a　newly　made　thing。　I　stayed　a　night　and　pushed　on。　That's　what　happened　。　。　。　but　now　I'll　tell　you　another　story。〃
　　〃The　one　that　isn't　true　but　should　be？〃　Susannah　asked。
　　Roland　nodded。　〃In　this　made…up　story…this　fable…a　gunslinger　named　Roland　met　a　boy　named　Jake　at　the　way　station。　This　boy　was　from　your　world；　from　your　city　of　New　York；　and　from　a　when　some…place　between　Eddie's　1987　and　Odetta　Holmes's　1963。〃
　　Eddie　was　leaning　forward　eagerly。　〃Is　there　a　door　in　this　story；　Roland？　A　door　marked　THE　BOY；　or　something　like　that？〃
　　Roland　shook　his　head。　〃The　boy's　doorway　was　death。　He　was　on　his　way　to　school　when　a　man…a　man　I　believed　to　be　Walter…pushed　him　into　the　street；　where　he　was　run　over　by　a　car。　He　heard　this　man　say　something　like　'Get　out　of　the　way；　let　me　through；　I'm　a　priest。'　Jake　saw　this　man…just　for　an　instant…and　then　he　was　in　my　world。〃
　　The　gunslinger　paused；　looking　into　the　fire。
　　〃Now　I　want　to　leave　this　story　of　the　boy　who　was　never　there　and　go　back　to　what　really　happened　for　a　minute。　All　right？〃
　　Eddie　and　Susannah　exchanged　a　puzzled　glance　and　then　Eddie　made　an　〃after　you；　my　dear　Alphonse〃　gesture　with　his　hand。
　　〃As　I　have　said；　the　way　station　was　deserted。　There　was；　however；　a　pump　that　still　worked。　It　was　at　the　back　of　the　stable　where　the　coach…horses　were　kept。　I　followed　my　ears　to　it；　but　I　would　have　found　it　even　if　it　had　been　pletely　silent。　I　swelled　the　water；　you　see。　After　enough　time　in　the　desert；　when　you　are　on　the　edge　of　dying　from　thirst；　you　can　really　do　that。　I