sk.thewastelands-第66节

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　　〃Maybe　you　should　hypnotize　me；〃　Jake　said　hesitantly。　〃Like　you　did　before；　at　the　way　station。〃
　　Roland　shook　his　head。　〃There's　no　need。　What　happened　to　you　in　that　lot　was　the　most　important　thing　ever　to　happen　in　your　life；　Jake。　In　all　our　lives。　You　can　remember　everything。〃
　　So　Jake　went　through　it　again。　It　was　clear　to　all　of　them　that　his　experience　in　the　vacant　lot　where　Tom　and　Gerry's　once　had　stood　was　the　secret　heart　of　the　ka…tet　they　shared。　In　Eddie's　dream；　the　Artistic　Deli　had　still　been　standing；　in　Jake's　reality　it　had　been　torn　down；　but　in　both　cases　it　was　a　place　of　enormous；　talismanic　power。　Nor　did　Roland　doubt　that　the　vacant　lot　with　its　broken　bricks　and　shattered　glass　was　another　version　of　what　Susannah　knew　as　the　Drawers　and　the　place　he　had　seen　at　the　end　of　his　vision　in　the　place　of　bones。
　　As　he　told　this　part　of　his　story　for　the　second　time；　speaking　very　slowly　now；　Jake　found　that　what　the　gunslinger　had　said　was　true：　he　could　remember　everything。　His　recall　improved　until　he　almost　seemed　to　be　reliving　the　experience。　He　told　them　of　the　sign　which　said　that　a　building　called　Turtle　Bay　Condominiums　was　slated　to　stand　on　the　spot　where　Tom　and　Gerry's　had　once　stood。　He　even　remembered　the　little　poem　which　had　been　spray…painted　on　the　fence；　and　recited　it　for　them：
　　
　　〃See　the　TURTLE　of　enormous　girth！
　　On　his　shell　he　holds　the　earth。
　　If　you　want　to　run　and　play；
　　e　along　the　BEAM　today。〃
　　
　　Susannah　murmured；　〃His　thought　is　slow　but　always　kind；　He　holds　us　all　within　his　mind　。　。　。　isn't　that　how　it　went；　Roland？〃
　　〃What？〃　Jake　asked。　〃How　what　went？〃
　　〃A　poem　I　learned　as　a　child；〃　Roland　said。　〃It's　another　connection；　one　that　really　tells　us　something；　although　I'm　not　sure　it's　anything　we　need　to　know　。　。　。　still；　one　never　knows　when　a　little　understanding　may　e　in　handy。〃
　　〃Twelve　portals　connected　by　six　Beams；〃　Eddie　said。　〃We　started　at　the　Bear。　We're　only　going　as　far　as　the　middle…to　the　Tower…but　if　we　went　all　the　way　to　the　other　end；　we'd　e　to　the　Portal　of　the　Turtle；　wouldn't　we？〃
　　Roland　nodded。　〃I'm　sure　we　would。〃
　　〃Portal　of　the　Turtle；〃　Jake　said　thoughtfully；　rolling　the　words　in　his　mouth；　seeming　to　taste　them。　Then　he　finished　by　telling　them　again　about　the　gorgeous　voice　of　the　choir；　his　realization　that　there　were　faces　and　stories　and　histories　everywhere；　and　his　growing　belief　that　he　had　stumbled　on　something　very　like　the　core　of　all　existence。　Last　of　all；　he　told　them　again　about　finding　the　key　and　seeing　the　rose。　In　the　totality　of　his　recall；　Jake　began　to　weep；　although　he　seemed　unaware　of　it。
　　〃When　it　opened；〃　he　said；　〃I　saw　the　middle　was　the　brightest　yellow　you　ever　saw　in　your　life。　At　first　I　thought　it　was　pollen　and　it　only　looked　bright　because　everything　in　that　lot　looked　bright。　Even　looking　at　the　old　candy…wrappers　and　beer…bottles　was　like　looking　at　the　greatest　paintings　you　ever　saw。　Only　then　I　realized　it　was　a　sun。　I　know　it　sounds　crazy；　but　that's　what　it　was。　Only　it　was　more　than　one。　It　was…〃
　　〃It　was　all　suns；〃　Roland　murmured。　〃It　was　everything　real。〃　〃Yes！　And　it　was　right…but　it　was　wrong；　too。　I　can't　explain　how　it　was　wrong；　but　it　was。　It　was　like　two　heartbeats；　one　inside　of　the　other；　and　the　one　inside　had　a　disease。　Or　an　infection。　And　then　I　fainted。〃
　　
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　　〃You　SAW　THE　SAME　thing　at　the　end　of　your　dream；　Roland；　didn't　you？〃　Susannah　asked。　Her　voice　was　soft　with　awe。　〃The　blade　of　grass　you　saw　near　the　end　of　it　。。。　you　thought　that　blade　was　purple　because　it　was　splattered　with　paint。〃
　　〃You　don't　understand；〃　Jake　said。　〃It　really　was　purple。　When　I　was　seeing　it　the　way　it　really　was；　it　was　purple。　Like　no　grass　I　ever　saw　before。　The　paint　was　just　camouflage。　The　way　the　doorkeeper　camouflaged　itself　to　look　like　an　old　deserted　house。〃
　　The　sun　had　reached　the　horizon。　Roland　asked　Jake　if　he　would　now　show　them　Charlie　the　Choo…Choo　and　then　read　it　to　them。　Jake　handed　the　book　around。　Both　Eddie　and　Susannah　looked　at　the　cover　for　a　long　time。
　　〃I　had　this　book　when　I　was　a　little　lad；〃　Eddie　said　at　last。　He　spoke　in　the　flat　tones　of　utter　surety。　〃Then　we　moved　from　Queens　to　Brooklyn…I　wasn't　even　four　years　old…and　I　lost　it。　But　I　remember　the　picture　on　the　cover。　And　I　felt　the　same　way　you　do；　Jake。　I　didn't　like　it。　I　didn't　trust　it。〃
　　Susannah　raised　her　eyes　to　look　at　Eddie。　〃I　had　it；　too…how　could　I　ever　forget　the　little　girl　with　my　name　。　。　。　although　of　course　it　was　my　middle　name　back　in　those　days。　And　I　felt　the　same　way　about　the　train。　I　didn't　like　it　and　I　didn't　trust　it。〃　She　tapped　the　front　of　the　book　with　her　finger　before　passing　it　on　to　Roland。　〃I　thought　that　smile　was　a　great　big　fake。〃
　　Roland　gave　it　only　a　cursory　glance　before　returning　his　eyes　to　Susannah。　〃Did　you　lose　yours；　too？〃
　　〃Yes。〃
　　〃And　I'll　bet　I　know　when；〃　Eddie　said。
　　Susannah　nodded。　〃I'll　bet　you　do。　It　was　after　that　man　dropped　the　brick　on　my　head。　I　had　it　when　we　went　north　to　my　Aunt　Blue's　wedding。　I　had　it　on　the　train。　I　remember；　because　I　kept　asking　my　dad　if　Charlie　the　Choo…Choo　was　pulling　us。　I　didn't　want　it　to　be　Charlie；　because　we　were　supposed　to　go　to　Elizabeth；　New　Jersey；　and　I　thought　Charlie　might　take　us　anywhere。　Didn't　he　end　up　pulling　folks　around　a　toy　village　or　something　like　that；　Jake？〃
　　〃An　amusement　park。〃
　　〃Yes；　of　course　it　was。　There's　a　picture　of　him　hauling　kids　around　that　place　at　the　end；　isn't　there？　They're　all　smiling　and　laughing；　except　I　always　thought　they　looked　like　they　were　screaming　to　be　let　off。〃
　　〃Yes！〃　Jake　cried。　〃Yes；　that's　right！　That's　just　right！〃
　　〃I　thought　Charlie　might　take　us　to　his　place…wherever　he　lived…instead　of　to　my　Aunt's　wedding；　and　never　let　us　go　home　again。〃
　　〃You　can't　go　home　again；〃　Eddie　muttered；　and　ran　his　hands　ner…vously　through　his　hair。
　　〃All　the　time　we　were　on　that　train　I　wouldn't　let　go　of　the　book。　I　even　remember　thinking；　'If　he　tries　to　steal　us；　I'll　rip　out　his　pages　until　he　quits。'　But　of　course　we　arrived　right　where　we　were　supposed　to；　and　on　time；　too。　Daddy　even　took　me　up　front；　so　I　could　see　the　engine。　It　was　a　diesel；　not　a　steam　engine；　and　I　remember　that　made　me　happy。　Then；　after　the　wedding；　that　man　Mort　dropped　the　brick　on　me　and　I　was　in　a　a　for　a　long　time。　I　never　saw　Charlie　the　Choo…Choo　after　that。　Not　until　now。〃　She　hesitated；　then　added：　〃This　could　be　my　copy；　for　all　I　know…or　Eddie's。〃
　　〃Yeah；　and　probably　is；〃　Eddie　said。　His　face　was　pale　and　solemn　。　。　。　and　then　he　grinned　like　a　lad。　〃　'See　the　TURTLE；　ain't　he　keen？　All　things　serve　the　fuckin　Beam。'　〃
　　Roland　glanced　west。　〃The　sun's　going　down。　Read　the　story　before　we　lose　the　light；　Jake。〃
　　Jake　turned　to　the　first　page；　showed　them　the　picture　of　Engineer　Bob　in　Charlie's　cab；　and　began：　〃　'Bob　Brooks　was　an　engineer　for　The　Mid…World　Railway　pany；　on　the　St。　Louis　to　Topeka　run。。。。。'　〃
　　
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　　〃　'。　。　。　AND　EVERY　NOW　AND　then　the　children　hear　him　singing　his　old　song　in　his　soft；　gruff　voice；'　〃　Jake　finished。　He　showed　them　the　last　picture…the　happy　children　who　might　actually　have　been　screaming…and　then　closed　the　book。　The　sun　had　gone　down；　the　sky　was　purple。
　　〃Well；　it's　not　a　perfect　fit；〃　Eddie　said；　〃more　like　a　dream　where　the　water　sometimes　runs　uphill…but　it　fits　well　enough　to　scare　me　silly。　This　is　Mid…World…Charlie's　territory。　Only　his　name　over　here　isn't　Charlie　at　all。　Over　here　it's　Blaine　the　Mono。〃
　　Roland　was　looking　at　Jake。　〃What　do　you　think？〃　he　asked。　〃Should　we　go　around　the　city？　Stay　away　from　this　train？〃
　　Jake　thought　it　over；　head　down；　hands　working　distractedly　through　Oy's　thick；　silky　fur。　〃I'd　like　to；〃　he　said　at　last；　〃but　if　I've　got　this　stuff　about　ka　right；　I　don't　think　we're　supposed　to。〃
　　Roland　nodded。　〃If　it's　ka；　questions　of　what　we're　supposed　to　or　not　supposed　to　do　aren't　even　in　it；　if　we　tried　to　go　around；　we'd　find　circumstances　forcing　us　back。　In　such　cases　it's　better　to　give　in　to　the　inevitable　promptly　instead　of　putting　it　off。　What　do　you　think；　Eddie？〃
　　Eddie　thought　as　long　and　as　carefully　as　Jake　had　done。　He　didn't　want　anything　to　do　with　a　talking　train　that　ran　by　itself；　and　whether　you　called　it　Charlie　the　Choo…Choo　or　Blaine　the　Mono；　everything　Jake　had　told　them　and　read　them　suggested　that　it　might　be　a　very　nasty　piece　of　work。　But　they　had　a　tremendous　distance　to　cross；　and　some…where；　at　the　end　of　it；　was　the　thing　they　had　e　to　find。　And　with　that　thought；　Eddie　was　amazed　to　discover　he　knew　exactly　what　he　thought；　and　what　he　wanted。　He　raised　his　head　and　for　almost　the　first　time　since　he　had　e　to　this　world；　he　fixed　Roland's　faded　blue　eyes　firmly　with　his　hazel　ones。
　　〃I　want　to　stand　in　that　field　of　roses；　and　I　want　to　see　the　Tower　that　stands　there。　I　don't　know　what　es　next。　Mourners　please　omit　flowers；　probably；　and　for　all　of　us。　But　I　don't　care。　I　want　to　stand　there。　I　guess　I　don't　care　if　Blaine's　the　devil　and　the　train　runs　through　hell　itself　on　the　way　to　the　To