sk.thewastelands-第34节

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5…7661。　Ill　be　up　until　midnight。
　　Remember　that　we　all　like　you　very　much；　and　are　on　your　side。
　　A　votre　sante'
　　Len　Bissette
　　
　　Jake　felt　like　crying。　The　concern　was　stated；　and　that　was　wonderful；　but　there　were　other　things；　unstated　things；　in　the　note　that　were　even　more　wonderful…warmth；　caring；　and　an　effort　（however　misconceived）　to　understand　and　console。
　　Mr。　Bissette　had　drawn　a　small　arrow　at　the　bottom　of　the　note。　Jake　turned　it　over　and　read　this：
　　By　the　way；　Bonnie　asked　me　to　send　this　along…congratulations！！
　　Congratulations？　What　in　the　hell　did　that　mean？
　　He　flipped　open　the　folder。　A　sheet　of　paper　had　been　clipped　to　the　first　page　of　his　Final　Essay。　It　was　headed　FROM　THE　DESK　OF　BONITA　AVERY；　and　Jake　read　the　spiky；　fountain…penned　lines　with　grow…ing　amazement。
　　
　　John；
　　Leonard　will　undoubtedly　voice　the　concern　we　all　feel…he　is　awfully　good　at　that…so　let　me　confine　myself　to　your　Final　Essay；　which　I　read　and　graded　during　my　free　period。　It　is　stun…ningly　original；　and　superior　to　any　student　work　I　have　read　in　the　last　few　years。　Your　use　of　incremental　repetition　（〃。　。　。　and　that　is　the　truth〃）　is　inspired；　but　of　course　incremental　repetition　is　really　just　a　trick。　The　real　worth　of　the　position　is　in　its　symbolic　quality；　first　stated　by　the　images　of　the　train　and　the　door　on　the　title　page　and　carried　through　splendidly　within。　This　reaches　its　logical　conclusion　with　the　picture　of　the　〃black　tower；〃　which　I　take　as　your　statement　that　conventional　ambitions　are　not　only　false　but　dangerous。
　　I　do　not　pretend　to　understand　all　the　symbolism　（e。g。；　〃Lady　of　Shadows；〃　〃gunslinger〃）　but　it　seems　clear　that　you　yourself　are　〃The　Prisoner〃　（of　school；　society；　etc。）　and　that　the　educational　system　is　〃The　Speaking　Demon。〃　Is　it　possible　that　both　〃Roland〃　and　〃the　gunslinger〃　are　the　same　authority　figure…your　father；　perhaps？　I　became　so　intrigued　by　this　possibility　that　1　looked　up　his　name　in　your　records。　I　note　it　is　Elmer；　but　I　further　note　that　his　middle　initial　is　R。
　　I　find　this　extremely　provocative。　Or　is　this　name　a　double　symbol；　drawn　both　from　your　father　and　from　Robert　Brow…ning's　poem　〃Childe　Roland　to　the　Dark　Tower　Came〃？　This　is　not　a　question　I　would　ask　most　students；　but　of　course　I　know　how　omnivorously　you　read！
　　At　any　rate；　I　am　extremely　impressed。　Younger　students　are　often　attracted　to　so…called　〃stream…of…consciousness〃　writing；　but　are　rarely　able　to　control　it。　You　have　done　an　outstanding　job　of　merging　s…of…c　with　symbolic　language。
　　Bravo！
　　Drop　by　as　soon　as　you're　〃back　at　it〃…I　want　to　discuss　possible　publication　of　this　piece　in　the　first　issue　of　next　year's　student　literary　magazine。
　　B。　Avery
　　P。　S。　If　you　left　school　today　because　you　had　sudden　doubts　about　my　ability　to　understand　a　Final　Essay　of　such　unexpected　richness；　I　hope　I　have　assuaged　them。
　　
　　Jake　pulled　the　sheet　off　the　clip；　revealing　the　title　page　of　his　stunningly　original　and　richly　symbolic　Final　Essay。　Written　and　circled　there　in　the　red　ink　of　Ms。　Avery's　marking　pen　was　the　notation　A　＋。　Below　this　she　had　written　EXCELLENT　JOB！！！
　　Jake　began　to　laugh。
　　The　whole　day…the　long；　scary；　confusing；　exhilarating；　terrify…ing；　mysterious　day…was　condensed　in　great；　roaring　sobs　of　laughter。　He　slumped　in　his　chair；　head　thrown　hack；　hands　clutching　his　belly；　tears　streaming　down　his　face。　He　laughed　himself　hoarse。　He　would　almost　stop　and　then　some　line　from　Ms。　Avery's　well…meaning　cri…tique　would　catch　his　eye　and　he　would　be　off　to　the　races　again。　He　didn't　see　his　father　e　to　the　door；　look　in　at　him　with　puzzled；　wary　eyes；　and　then　leave　again；　shaking　his　head。
　　At　last　he　did　bee　aware　that　Mrs。　Shaw　was　still　sitting　on　his　bed；　looking　at　him　with　an　expression　of　friendly　detachment　tinctured　with　faint　curiosity。　He　tried　to　speak；　but　the　laughter　pealed　out　again　before　he　could。
　　I　gotta　stop；　he　thought。　I　gotta　stop　or　it's　gonna　kill　me。　I'll　have　a　stroke　or　a　heart　attack；　or　something。
　　Then　he　thought；　7　wonder　what　she　made　of　〃choo…choo；　choo…choo？；〃　and　he　began　to　laugh　wildly　again。
　　At　last　the　spasms　began　to　taper　off　to　giggles。　He　wiped　his　arm　across　his　streaming　eyes　and　said；　〃I'm　sorry；　Mrs。　Shaw…it's　just　that　。　。　。　well　。。。　I　got　an　A…plus　on　my　Final　Essay。　It　was　all　very　。　。　。　very　rich　。　。　。　and　very　sym　。　。　。　sym　。　。　。〃
　　But　he　couldn't　finish。　He　doubled　up　with　laughter　again；　hold…ing　his　throbbing　belly。
　　Mrs。　Shaw　got　up；　smiling。　〃That's　very　nice；　John。　I'm　happy　it's　all　turned　out　so　well；　and　I'm　sure　your　folks　will　be；　too。　I'm　awfully　late…I　think　I'll　ask　the　doorman　to　call　me　a　cab。　Goodnight；　and　sleep　well。〃
　　〃Goodnight；　Mrs。　Shaw；〃　Jake　said；　controlling　himself　with　an　effort。　〃And　thanks。〃
　　As　soon　as　she　was　gone；　he　began　to　laugh　again。
　　
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　　DURING　THE　NEXT　HALF　hour　he　had　separate　visits　from　both　parents。　They　had　indeed　calmed　down；　and　the　A　＋　grade　on　Jake's　Final　Essay　seemed　to　calm　them　further。　Jake　received　them　with　his　French　text　open　on　the　desk　before　him；　but　he　hadn't　really　looked　at　it；　nor　did　he　have　any　intention　of　looking　at　it。　He　was　only　waiting　for　them　to　be　gone　so　he　could　study　the　two　books　he　had　bought　earlier　that　day。　He　had　an　idea　that　the　real　Final　Exams　were　still　waiting　just　over　the　horizon；　and　he　wanted　desperately　to　pass。
　　His　father　poked　his　head　into　Jake's　room　around　quarter　of　ten；　about　twenty　minutes　after　Jake's　mother　had　concluded　her　own　short；　vague　visit。　Elmer　Chambers　was　holding　a　cigarette　in　one　hand　and　a　glass　of　Scotch　in　the　other。　He　seemed　not　only　calmer　but　almost　zonked。　Jake　wondered　briefly　and　indifferently　if　he　had　been　hitting　his　mother's　Valium　supply。
　　〃Are　you　okay；　kid？〃
　　〃Yes。〃　He　was　once　again　the　small；　neat　boy　who　was　always　…pletely　in　control　of　himself。　The　eyes　he　turned　to　his　father　were　not　blazing　but　opaque。
　　〃I　wanted　to　say　I'm　sorry　about　before。〃　His　father　was　not　a　man　who　made　many　apologies；　and　he　did　it　badly。　Jake　found　himself　feeling　a　little　sorry　for　him。
　　〃It's　all　right。〃
　　〃Hard　day；〃　his　father　said。　He　gestured　with　the　empty　glass。　〃Why　don't　we　just　forget　it　happened？〃　He　spoke　as　if　this　great　and　logical　idea　had　just　e　to　him。
　　〃I　already　have。〃
　　〃Good。〃　His　father　sounded　relieved。　〃Time　for　you　to　get　some　sleep；　isn't　it？　You'll　have　some　explaining　to　do　and　some　tests　to　take　tomorrow。〃
　　〃I　guess　so；〃　Jake　said。　〃Is　Mom　okay？〃
　　〃Fine。　Fine。　I'm　going　in　the　study。　Got　a　lot　of　paperwork　tonight。〃
　　〃Dad？〃
　　His　father　looked　back　at　him　warily。
　　〃What's　your　middle　name？〃
　　Something　in　his　father's　face　told　Jake　that　he　had　looked　at　the　Final　Essay　grade　but　hadn't　bothered　to　read　either　the　paper　itself　or　Ms。　Avery's　critique。
　　〃I　don't　have　one；〃　he　said。　〃Just　an　initial；　like　Harry　S　Truman。　Except　mine's　an　R。　What　brought　that　on？〃
　　〃Just　curious；〃　Jake　said。
　　He　managed　to　hold　onto　his　posure　until　his　father　was　gone　。　。　。　but　as　soon　as　the　door　was　closed；　he　ran　to　his　bed　and　stuffed　his　face　into　his　pillow　to　muffle　another　bout　of　wild　laughter。
　　
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　　WHEN　HE　WAS　SURE　he　was　over　the　current　fit　（although　an　occasional　snicker　still　rumbled　up　his　throat　like　an　aftershock）　and　his　father　would　be　safely　locked　away　in　his　study　with　his　cigarettes；　his　Scotch；　his　papers；　and　his　little　bottle　of　white　powder；　Jake　went　back　to　his　desk；　turned　on　the　study　lamp；　and　opened　Charlie　the　Choo…Choo。　He　glanced　briefly　at　the　copyright　page　and　saw　it　had　originally　been　published　in　1942；　his　copy　was　from　the　fourth　printing。　He　looked　at　the　back；　but　there　was　no　information　at　all　about　Beryl　Evans；　the　book's　author。
　　Jake　turned　back　to　the　beginning；　looked　at　the　picture　of　a　grin…ning；　blonde…haired　man　sitting　in　the　cab　of　a　steam　lootive；　consid…ered　the　proud　grin　on　the　man's　face；　and　then　began　to　read。
　　Bob　Brooks　was　an　engineer　for　the　Mid…World　Railway　pany；　on　the　St。　Louis　to　Topeka　run。　Engineer　Bob　was　the　best　trainman　The　Mid…World　Railway　pany　ever　had；　and　Charlie　was　the　best　train！
　　Charlie　was　a　402　Big　Boy　Steam　Lootive；　and　Engineer　Bob　was　the　only　man　who　had　ever　been　allowed　to　sit　in　his　peak…seat　and　pull　the　whistle。　Everyone　knew　the　WHOOO…OOOO　of　Charlie's　whistle；　and　whenever　they　heard　it　echoing　across　the　flat　Kan…sas　countryside；　they　said；　〃There　goes　Charlie　and　Engi…neer　Bob；　the　fastest　team　between　St。　Louis　and　Topeka！〃
　　Boys　and　girls　ran　into　their　yards　to　watch　Charlie　and　Engineer　Bob　go　by。　Engineer　Bob　would　smile　and　wave。　The　children　would　smile　and　wave　back。
　　Engineer　Bob　had　a　special　secret。　He　was　the　only　one　who　knew。　Charlie　the　Choo…Choo　was　really；　really　alive。　One　day　while　they　were　making　the　run　between　Topeka　and　St。　Louis；　Engineer　Bob　heard　singing；　very　soft　and　low。
　　〃Who　is　in　the　cab　with　me？〃　Engineer　Bob　said　sternly。
　　〃You　need　to　see　a　shrink；　Engineer　Bob；〃　Jake　murmured；　and　turned　the　page。　Here　was　a　picture　of　Bob　bending　over　to