sk.thewastelands-第2节

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o　bite　exactly　at　the　wrong　moment　。　。　。　and　he　had　discovered　an　unexpected　capacity　in　himself。　He　could　teach。　More；　he　liked　to　teach；　and　he　found　himself　wondering；　from　time　to　time；　if　that　had　been　true　of　Cort；　as　well。　He　guessed　that　it　had　been。
　　Now　more　crows　began　to　call　raucously；　these　from　the　forest　behind　them。　Some　part　of　Roland's　mind　registered　the　fact　that　the　new　cries　were　agitated　rather　than　merely　quarrelsome；　these　birds　sounded　as　if　they　had　been　scared　up　and　away　from　whatever　they　had　been　feeding　on。　He　had　more　important　things　to　think　about　than　whatever　it　was　that　had　scared　a　bunch　of　crows；　however；　so　he　simply　filed　the　information　away　and　refocused　his　concentration　on　Susannah。　To　do　otherwise　with　a　'prentice　was　to　ask　for　a　second；　less　playful　bite。　And　who　would　be　to　blame　for　that？　Who　but　the　teacher？　For　was　he　not　training　her　to　bite？　Training　both　of　them　to　bite？　Wasn't　that　what　a　gunslinger　was；　when　you　stripped　off　the　few　stern　lines　of　ritual　and　stilled　the　few　iron　grace…notes　of　catechism？　Wasn't　he　（or　she）　only　a　human　hawk；　trained　to　bite　on　mand？
　　〃No；〃　he　said。　〃They're　not　rocks。〃
　　She　raised　her　eyebrows　a　little　and　began　to　smile　again。　Now　that　she　saw　he　wasn't　going　to　explode　at　her　as　he　sometimes　did　when　she　was　slow　or　fractious　（or　at　least　not　yet）；　her　eyes　again　took　on　the　mocking　sun…on…steel　glint　he　associated　with　Detta　Walker。　〃They　ain't？〃　The　teasing　in　her　voice　was　still　good…nut　u　red；　but　he　thought　it　would　turn　mean　if　he　let　it。　She　was　tense；　keyed　up；　her　claws　already　halfway　out　of　their　sheaths。
　　〃No；　they　ain't；〃　he　said；　returning　her　mockery。　His　own　smile　began　to　return；　but　it　was　hard　and　humorless。　〃Susannah；　do　you　remember　the　honk　mahfahs？〃
　　Her　smile　began　to　fade。
　　〃The　honk　mahfahs　in　Oxford　Town？〃
　　Her　smile　was　gone。
　　〃Do　you　remember　what　the　honk　mahfahs　did　to　you　and　your　friends？〃
　　〃That　wasn't　me；〃　she　said。　〃That　was　another　woman。〃　Her　eyes　had　taken　on　a　dull；　sullen　cast。　He　hated　that　look；　but　he　also　liked　it　just　fine。　It　was　the　right　look；　the　one　that　said　the　kindling　was　burning　well　and　soon　the　bigger　logs　would　start　to　catch。
　　〃Yes。　It　was。　Like　it　or　not；　it　was　Odetta　Susannah　Holmes；　daugh…ter　of　Sarah　Walker　Holmes。　Not　you　as　you　are；　but　you　as　you　were。　Remember　the　fire…hoses；　Susannah？　Remember　the　gold　teeth；　how　you　saw　them　when　they　used　the　hoses　on　you　and　your　friends　in　Oxford？　How　you　saw　them　twinkle　when　they　laughed？〃
　　She　had　told　them　these　things；　and　many　others；　over　many　long　nights　as　the　campfire　burned　low。　The　gunslinger　hadn't　understood　everything；　but　he　had　listened　carefully；　just　the　same。　And　remem…bered。　Pain　was　a　tool；　after　all。　Sometimes　it　was　the　best　tool。
　　〃What's　wrong　with　you；　Roland？　Why　you　want　to　go　recallin　that　trash　in　my　mind？〃
　　Now　the　sullen　eyes　glinted　at　him　dangerously；　they　reminded　him　of　Alain's　eyes　when　good…natured　Alain　was　finally　roused。
　　〃Yonder　stones　are　those　men；〃　Roland　said　softly。　〃The　men　who　locked　you　in　a　cell　and　left　you　to　foul　yourself。　The　men　with　the　clubs　and　the　dogs。　The　men　who　called　you　a　nigger　cunt。〃
　　He　pointed　at　them；　moving　his　finger　from　left　to　right。
　　〃There's　the　one　who　pinched　your　breast　and　laughed。　There's　the　one　who　said　he　better　check　and　see　if　you　had　something　stuffed　up　your　ass。　There's　the　one　who　called　you　a　chimpanzee　in　a　five…hundred…dollar　dress。　That's　the　one　that　kept　running　his　billyclub　over　the　spokes　of　your　wheelchair　until　you　thought　the　sound　would　send　you　mad。　There's　the　one　who　called　your　friend　Leon　pinko…fag。　And　the　one　on　the　end；　Susannah；　is　Jack　Mort。
　　〃There。　Those　stones。　Those　men。〃
　　She　was　breathing　rapidly　now；　her　bosom　rising　and　falling　in　swift　little　jerks　beneath　the　gunslinger's　gunbelt　with　its　heavy　freight　of　bul…lets。　Her　eyes　had　left　him；　they　were　looking　at　the　mica…flecked　chips　of　stone。　Behind　them　and　at　some　distance；　a　tree　splintered　and　fell　over。　More　crows　called　in　the　sky。　Deep　in　the　game　which　was　no　longer　a　game；　neither　of　them　noticed。
　　〃Oh　yeah？〃　she　breathed。　〃That　so？〃
　　〃It　is。　Now　say　your　lesson；　Susannah　Dean；　and　be　true。〃…　This　time　the　words　fell　from　her　lips　like　small　chunks　of　ice。　Her　right　hand　trembled　lightly　on　the　arm　of　her　wheelchair　like　an　idling　engine。
　　〃　'I　do　not　aim　with　my　hand；　she　who　aims　with　her　hand　has　forgotten　the　face　of　her　father。
　　〃　'I　aim　with　my　eye。'　〃
　　〃Good。〃
　　〃　'I　do　not　shoot　with　my　hand；　she　who　shoots　with　her　hand　has　forgotten　the　face　of　her　father。
　　〃　'I　shoot　with　my　mind。'　〃
　　〃So　it　has　ever　been；　Susannah　Dean。〃
　　〃　'I　do　not　kill　with　my　gun；　she　who　kills　with　her　gun　has　forgotten　the　face　of　her　father。
　　〃　'I　kill　with　my　heart。'　〃
　　〃Then　KILL　them；　for　your　father's　sake！〃　Roland　shouted。　〃KILL　THEM　ALL！〃
　　Her　right　hand　was　a　blur　between　the　arm　of　the　chair　and　the　butt　of　Roland's　sixgun。　It　was　out　in　a　second；　her　left　hand　descending；　fanning　at　the　hammer　in　flutters　almost　as　swift　and　delicate　as　the　wing　of　a　hummingbird。　Six　flat　cracks　pealed　off　across　the　valley；　and　five　of　the　six　chips　of　stone　set　atop　the　boulder　blinked　out　of　existence。
　　For　a　moment　neither　of　them　spoke…did　not　even　breathe；　it　seemed…as　the　echoes　rolled　back　and　forth；　dimming。　Even　the　crows　were　silent；　at　least　for　the　time　being。
　　The　gunslinger　broke　the　silence　with　four　toneless　yet　oddly　emphatic　words：　〃It　is　very　well。〃
　　Susannah　looked　at　the　gun　in　her　hand　as　if　she　had　never　seen　it　before。　A　tendril　of　smoke　rose　from　the　barrel；　perfectly　straight　in　the　windless　silence。　Then；　slowly；　she　returned　it　to　the　holster　below　her　bosom。
　　〃Good；　but　not　perfect；〃　she　said　at　last。　〃I　missed　one。〃
　　〃Did　you？〃　He　walked　over　to　the　boulder　and　picked　up　the　remaining　chip　of　stone。　He　glanced　at　it；　then　tossed　it　to　her。
　　She　caught　it　with　her　left；　her　right　stayed　near　the　bolstered　gun；　he　saw　with　approval。　She　shot　better　and　more　naturally　than　Eddie；　but　had　not　learned　this　particular　lesson　as　swiftly　as　Eddie　had　done。
　　If　she　had　been　with　them　during　the　shootout　at　Balazar's　nightclub；　she　might　have。　Now；　Roland　saw；　she　was　at　last　learning　that；　too。　She　looked　at　the　stone　and　saw　the　notch；　barely　a　sixteenth　of　an　inch　deep；　in　its　upper　corner。
　　〃You　only　clipped　it；〃　Roland　said；　returning　to　her；　〃but　in　a　shooting　scrape；　sometimes　that's　all　you　wed。　If　you　clip　a　fellow；　throw　his　aim　off　。。。〃　He　paused。　〃Why　an…　you　looking　at　me　that　way？〃
　　〃You　don't　know；　do　you？　You　really　don't？〃
　　〃No。　Your　mind　is　often　closed　to　me；　Susannah。〃
　　There　was　no　defensiveness　in　his　voice；　and　Susannah　shook　her　head　in　exasperation。　The　rapid　turn…and…turn…about　dance　of　her　person…ality　sometimes　unnerved　him；　his　seeming　inability　to　say　anything　other　than　exactly　what　was　on　his　mind　never　failed　to　do　the　same　to　her。　He　was　the　most　literal　man　she　had　ever　met。
　　〃All　right；〃　she　said；　〃I'll　tell　you　why　I'm　looking　at　you　that　way；　Roland。　Because　what　you　did　was　a　mean　trick。　You　said　you　wouldn't　slap　me；　couldn't　slap　me；　even　if　I　cut　up　rough　。　。　。　but　either　you　lied　or　you're　very　stupid；　and　I　know　you　ain't　stupid。　People　don't　always　slap　with　their　hands；　as　every　man　and　woman　of　my　race　could　testify。　We　have　a　little　rhyme　where　I　e　from：　'Sticks　and　stones　will　break　my　bones…'　〃
　　〃　'…yet　taunts　shall　never　wound　me；'　〃　Roland　finished。
　　〃Well；　that's　not　exactly　the　way　we　say　it；　but　I　guess　it's　close　enough。　It's　bullshit　no　matter　how　you　say　it。　They　don't　call　what　you　did　a　tongue…lashing　for　nothing。　Your　words　hurt　me；　Roland…are　you　gonna　stand　there　and　say　you　didn't　know　they　would？〃
　　She　sat　in　her　chair；　looking　up　at　him　with　bright；　stern　curiosity；　and　Roland　thought…not　for　the　first　time…that　the　honk　mahfahs　of　Susannah's　land　must　have　been　either　very　brave　or　very　stupid　to　cross　her；　wheelchair　or　no　wheelchair。　And；　having　walked　among　them；　he　didn't　think　bravery　was　the　answer。
　　〃I　did　not　think　or　care　about　your　hurt；〃　he　said　patiently。　〃I　saw　you　show　your　teeth　and　knew　you　meant　to　bite；　so　I　put　a　stick　in　your　jaws。　And　it　worked　。　。　。　didn't　it？〃
　　Her　expression　was　now　one　of　hurt　astonishment。　〃You　bastardl〃
　　Instead　of　replying；　he　took　the　gun　from　her　holster；　fumbled　the　cylinder　open　with　the　remaining　two　fingers　on　his　right　hand；　and　began　to　reload　the　chambers　with　his　left　hand。
　　〃Of　all　the　high…handed；　arrogant…〃
　　〃You　needed　to　bite；〃　he　said　in　that　same　patient　tone。　〃Had　you　not；　you　would　have　shot　all　wrong…with　your　hand　and　your　gun　instead　of　your　eye　and　mind　and　heart。　Was　that　a　trick？　Was　it　arrogant？　I　think　not。　I　think。　Susannah；　that　you　were　the　one　with　arrogance　in　her　heart。　I　think　you　were　the　one　with　a　mind　to　get　up　to　tricks。　That　doesn't　distress　me。　Quite　the　opposite。　A　gunslinger　without　teeth　is　no　gunslinger。〃
　　〃Damn　it；　I'm　not　a　gunslinger！〃
　　He　ignored　that；　he　could　afford　to。　If　she　was　no　gunslinger；　th