sk.thewastelands-第14节

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f…collapsed　next　to　her。
　　〃You　got　my　wheelchair　pretty　muddy；　white　boy；〃　Susannah　said。　〃It's　all　goan　be　in　my　repote。〃
　　He　cocked　an　eyebrow　at　her。　〃Next　carwash　we　e　to；　I'll　push　you　through　myself。　I'll　even　Turtle…wax　the　goddamn　thing。　Okay？〃
　　She　smiled。　〃You　got　a　date；　handsome。〃
　　Eddie　had　one　of　Roland's　waterskins　cinched　around　his　waist。　He　tapped　it。　〃Okay？〃
　　〃Yes；〃　Roland　said。　〃Not　too　much　now；　a　little　more　for　all　of　us　before　we　set　out　again。　That　way　no　one　takes　a　cramp。〃
　　〃Roland；　Eagle　Scout　of　Oz；〃　Eddie　said；　and　giggled　as　he　unslung　the　waterskin。
　　〃What　is　this　Oz？〃
　　〃A　make…believe　place　in　a　movie；〃　Susannah　said。
　　〃Oz　was　a　lot　more　than　that。　My　brother　Henry　used　to　read　me　the　stories　once　in　a　while。　I'll　tell　you　one　some　night；　Roland。〃
　　〃That　would　be　fine；〃　the　gunslinger　replied　seriously。　〃I　am　hungry　to　know　more　of　your　world。〃
　　〃Oz　isn't　our　world；　though。　Like　Susannah　said；　it's　a　make…believe　place…〃
　　Roland　handed　them　chunks　of　meat　which　had　been　wrapped　in　broad　leaves　of　some　sort。　〃The　quickest　way　to　learn　about　a　new　place　is　to　know　what　it　dreams　of。　I　would　hear　of　this　Oz。〃
　　〃Okay；　that's　a　date；　too。　Suze　can　tell　you　the　one　about　Dorothy　and　Toto　and　the　Tin　Woodman；　and　I'll　tell　you　all　the　rest。〃　He　bit　into　his　piece　of　meat　and　rolled　his　eyes　approvingly。　It　had　taken　the　flavor　of　the　leaves　in　which　it　had　been　rolled；　and　was　delicious。　Eddie　wolfed　his　ration；　stomach　gurgling　busily　all　the　while。　Now　that　he　was　getting　his　breath　back；　he　felt　good…great；　in　fact。　His　body　was　growing　a　solid　sheath　of　muscle；　and　every　part　of　it　felt　at　peace　with　every　other　part。
　　Don't　worry；　he　thought。　Everything　will　be　arguing　again　by　tonight。　I　think　he's　gonna　push　on　until　I'm　ready　to　drop　in　my　tracks。
　　Susannah　ate　more　delicately；　chasing　every　second　or　third　bite　with　a　little　sip　of　water；　turning　the　meat　in　her　hands；　eating　from　the　outside　in。　〃Finish　what　you　started　last　night；〃　she　invited　Roland。　〃You　said　you　thought　you　understood　these　conflicting　memories　of　yours。〃
　　Roland　nodded。　〃Yes。　I　think　both　memories　are　true。　One　is　a　little　truer　than　the　other；　but　that　does　not　negate　the　truth　of　that　other。〃
　　〃Makes　no　sense　to　me；〃　Eddie　said。　〃Either　this　boy　Jake　was　at　the　way　station　or　he　wasn't；　Roland。〃
　　〃It　is　a　paradox…something　that　is　and　isn't　at　the　same　time。　Until　it's　resolved；　I　will　continue　divided。　That's　bad　enough；　but　the　basic　split　is　widening。　I　can　feel　that　happening。　It　is　。。。　unspeakable。〃
　　〃What　do　you　think　caused　it？〃　Susannah　asked。
　　〃I　told　you　the　boy　was　pushed　in　front　of　a　car。　Pushed。　Now；　who　do　we　know　who　liked　to　push　people　in　front　of　things？〃
　　Understanding　dawned　in　her　face。　〃Jack　Mort。　Do　you　mean　he　was　the　one　who　pushed　this　boy　into　the　street？〃
　　〃Yes。〃
　　〃But　you　said　the　man　in　black　did　it；〃　Eddie　objected。　〃Your　buddy　Walter。　You　said　that　the　boy　saw　him…a　man　who　looked　like　a　priest。　Didn't　the　kid　even　hear　him　say　he　was？　'Let　me　through；　I'm　a　priest；'　something　like　that？〃
　　〃Oh；　Walter　was　there。　They　were　both　there；　and　they　both　pushed　Jake。〃
　　〃Somebody　bring　the　Thorazine　and　the　strait…jacket；〃　Eddie　called。　〃Roland　just　went　over　the　high　side。〃
　　Roland　paid　no　attention　to　this；　he　was　ing　to　understand　that　Eddie's　jokes　and　clowning　were　his　way　of　dealing　with　stress。　Cuthbert　had　not　been　much　different　。。。　as　Susannah　was；　in　her　way；　not　so　different　from　Alain。　〃What　exasperates　me　about　all　of　this；〃　he　said；　〃is　that　I　should　have　known。　I　was　in　Jack　Mort；　after　all；　and　I　had　access　to　his　thoughts；　just　as　I　had　access　to　yours；　Eddie；　and　yours；　Susannah。　I　saw　Jake　while　I　was　in　Mort。　I　saw　him　through　Mort's　eyes；　and　I　knew　Mort　planned　to　push　him。　Not　only　that；　I　stopped　him　from　doing　it。　All　I　had　to　do　was　enter　his　body。　Not　that　he　knew　that　was　what　it　was；　he　was　concentrating　so　hard　on　what　he　planned　to　do　that　he　actually　thought　I　was　a　fly　landing　on　his　neck。〃
　　Eddie　began　to　understand。　〃If　Jake　wasn't　pushed　into　the　street；　he　never　died。　And　if　he　never　died；　he　never　came　into　this　world。　And　if　he　never　came　into　this　world；　you　never　met　him　at　the　way　station。　Right？〃
　　〃Right。　The　thought　even　crossed　my　mind　that　if　Jack　Mort　meant　to　kill　the　boy；　I　would　have　to　stand　aside　and　let　him　do　it。　To　avoid　creating　the　very　paradox　that　is　tearing　me　apart。　But　I　couldn't　do　that。　I　。。。　I　。。。〃
　　〃You　couldn't　kill　this　kid　twice；　could　you？〃　Eddie　asked　softly。　〃Every　time　I　just　about　make　up　my　mind　that　you're　as　mechanical　as　that　bear；　you　surprise　me　with　something　that　actually　seems　human。　Goddam。〃
　　〃Quit　it；　Eddie；〃　Susannah　said。
　　Eddie　took　a　look　at　the　gunslinger's　slightly　lowered　face　and　gri…maced。　〃Sorry；　Roland。　My　mother　used　to　say　that　my　mouth　had　a　bad　habit　of　running　away　with　my　mind。〃
　　〃It's　all　right。　I　had　a　friend　who　was　the　same　way。〃
　　〃Cuthbert？〃
　　Roland　nodded。　He　looked　at　his　diminished　right　hand　for　a　long　moment；　then　clenched　it　into　a　painful　fist；　sighed；　and　looked　up　at　them　again。　Somewhere；　deeper　in　the　forest；　a　lark　sang　sweetly。
　　〃Here　is　what　I　believe。　If　I　had　not　entered　Jack　Mort　when　I　did；　he　still　wouldn't　have　pushed　Jake　that　day。　Not　then。　Why　not？　Ka…tet。　Simply　that。　For　the　first　time　since　the　last　of　the　friends　with　whom　I　set　forth　on　this　quest　died；　I　have　found　myself　once　again　at　the　center　of　ka…tet。〃
　　〃Quartet？〃　Eddie　asked　doubtfully。
　　The　gunslinger　shook　his　head。　〃Ka…the　word　you　think　of　as　'des…tiny；'　Eddie；　although　the　actual　meaning　is　much　more　plex　and　hard　to　define；　as　is　almost　always　the　case　with　words　of　the　High　Speech。　And　tet；　which　means　a　group　of　people　with　the　same　interests　and　goals。　We　three　are　a　tet；　for　instance。　Ka…tet；　is　the　place　where　many　lives　are　joined　by　fate。〃
　　〃Like　in　The　Bridge　of　San　Luis　Rey；〃　Susannah　murmured。
　　〃What's　that？〃　Roland　asked。
　　〃A　story　about　some　people　who　die　together　when　the　bridge　they're　crossing　collapses。　It's　famous　in　our　world。〃
　　Roland　nodded　his　understanding。　〃In　this　case；　ka…tet　bound　Jake；　Walter；　Jack　Mort；　and　me。　There　was　no　trap；　as　I　first　suspected　when　I　realized　who　Jack　Mort　meant　to　be　his　next　victim；　because　ka…tet　cannot　be　changed　or　bent　to　the　will　of　any　one　person。　But　ka…tet　can　be　seen；　known；　and　understood。　Walter　saw；　and　Walter　knew。〃　The　gunslinger　struck　his　thigh　with　his　fist　and　exclaimed　bitterly；　〃How　he　must　have　been　laughing　inside　when　I　finally　caught　up　to　him！〃
　　〃Let's　go　back　to　what　would　have　happened　if　you　hadn't　messed　up　Jack　Mort's　plans　on　the　day　he　was　following　Jake；〃　Eddie　said。　〃You're　saying　that　if　you　hadn't　stopped　Mort；　someone　or　something　else　would　have。　Is　that　right？〃
　　〃Yes…because　it　wasn't　the　right　day　for　Jake　to　die。　It　was　close　to　the　right　day；　but　not　the　right　day。　I　felt　that；　too。　Perhaps；　just　before　he　did　it；　Mort　would　have　seen　someone　watching　him。　Or　a　perfect　stranger　would　have　intervened。　Or…〃
　　〃Or　a　cop；〃　Susannah　said。　〃He　might　have　seen　a　cop　in　the　wrong　place　and　at　the　wrong　time。〃
　　〃Yes。　The　exact　reason…the　agent　of　ka…tet…doesn't　matter。　I　know　from　firsthand　experience　that　Mort　was　as　wily　as　an　old　fox。　If　he　sensed　any　slightest　thing　wrong；　he　would　have　called　it　off　and　waited　for　another　day。
　　〃I　know　something　else；　as　well。　He　hunted　in　disguise。　On　the　day　he　dropped　the　brick　on　Detta　Holmes's　head；　he　was　wearing　a　knitted　cap　and　an　old　sweater　several　sizes　too　big　for　him。　He　wanted　to　look　like　a　winebibber；　because　he　pushed　the　brick　from　a　building　where　a　large　number　of　sots　kept　their　dens。　You　see？〃
　　They　nodded。
　　〃On　the　day；　years　later；　when　he　pushed　you　in　front　of　the　train；　Susannah；　he　was　dressed　as　a　construction　worker。　He　was　wearing　a　big　yellow　helmet　he　thought　of　as　a　'hardhat'　and　a　fake　moustache。　On　the　day　when　he　actually　would　have　pushed　Jake　into　traffic；　causing　his　death；　he　would　have　been　dressed　as　a　priest。〃
　　〃Jesus；〃　Susannah　nearly　whispered。　〃The　man　who　pushed　him　in　New　York　was　Jack　Mort；　and　the　man　he　saw　at　the　way　station　was　this　fella　you　were　chasing…Walter。〃
　　〃Yes。〃
　　〃And　the　little　boy　thought　they　were　the　same　man　because　they　were　both　wearing　the　same　kind　of　black　robe？〃
　　Roland　nodded。　〃There　was　even　a　physical　resemblance　between　Walter　land　Jack　Mort。　Not　as　if　they　were　brothers；　I　don't　mean　that；　but　both　were　tall　men　with　dark　hair　and　very　pale　plexions。　And　given　the　fact　that　Jake　was　dying　when　he　got　his　only　good　look　at　Mort　and　was　in　a　strange　place　and　scared　almost　witless　when　he　got　his　only　good　look　at　Walter；　I　think　his　mistake　was　both　understandable　and　forgivable。　If　there's　a　horse's　ass　in　this　picture；　it's　me；　for　not　realizing　the　truth　sooner。〃
　　〃Would　Mort　have　known　he　was　being　used？〃　Eddie　asked。　Think…ing　back　to　his　own　experiences　and　wild　thoughts　when　Roland　had　invaded　his　mind；　he　didn't　see　how　Mort　could　not　know　。　。　。　but　Roland　was　shaking　his　head。
　　〃Walter