cacb.thefarkingdoms-第5节

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ic；　you　and　I　are　destined　to　be　。。。　close　friends。〃
　I'm　not　sure　what　I　stuttered。　But　she　giggled　as　if　I　were　the　greatest　wit　of　all　Orissa。　〃Tell　me；〃　she　said；　〃is　your　hair　real？　Or　is　it　some　clever　cosmetic　the　young　bravos　of　Orissa　now　affect？〃
　〃It's　quite　real；　I　assure　you；　my…uh　。。。　Melina。　Upon　my　honor。〃
　〃Perhaps　I　shouldn't　take　your　word　for　it；〃　she　teased。　〃After　all；　there　are　more　interesting　ways　of　proving　it；　young　Amalric。〃　The　glint　in　her　eyes　told　me　it　was　not　my　sprinkle　of　chest　hair　she　hinted　at。　〃I　could　also　learn　if　it　is　true　what　knowledgeable　women　say　about　redheaded　men　and　their　ardor。〃
　If　I　was　dumb　before；　now　my　tongue　had　been　ripped　out。　I　wanted　to　shout　to　the　gods　to　let　me　prove　it　now。　Now！　I　would　show　her　true　ardor。　Not　the　fraudulent　love　these…these　beasts　offered。　Before　I　could　recover；　Leego　pressed　forward。　With　him　was　a　middle…aged　man　of　distinguished　bearing。　I　recognized　him　as　one　of　my　father's　wealthiest　petitors。
　〃If　you　please；　my　dear　Melina；〃　Leego　said；　〃I　want　to　introduce　a　very　special　admirer　of　yours。〃
　The　man　stepped　forward；　his　eyes　eager。　Before　I　could　hear　the　exchange　I　started　to　rush　away。　I　knew　this　was　the　man　chosen　to　enjoy　Melina's　favors　that　night。　The　gift　he　had　presented　would　beggar　mine　and　those　from　most　of　the　other　men　hi　the　room。　If　I　don't　leave　now；　I　thought；　I'll　kill　him　where　he　stands。
　Melina's　voice　stopped　me。　〃One　moment；　Amalric。〃
　I　turned；　afraid　to　lift　my　eyes；　because　I　knew　they　would　betray　my　feelings。　But　I　couldn't　help　it。　I　had　to　see　her　once　more。　For　the　first　time　I　noticed　the　color　of　her　eyes。　They　were　as　green　as　stones　from　the　hot　forests　of　the　north。
　〃What　is　it；　Melina？〃　I　husked。
　〃You　will　e　again；　won't　you？　Please　promise　me　you　shall。〃
　My　answer　was　hot；　unguarded。　〃I　would　lay　my　life　down　as　a　gift；　fair　Melina；〃　I　said；　〃to　win　another　invitation　from　you。〃
　She　did　not　answer。　If　she　had　I'm　sure　I　would　have　slit　my　throat　for　being　such　a　fool。　Instead　she　kissed　one　of　her　perfect　fingers　and　laid　it　against　my　hand。　〃I'll　be　waiting；　Amalric；〃　she　whispered。　〃My　handsome；　redheaded　man。〃
　I　don't　remember　how　I　got　home。　But　I　felt　so　godlike　after　those　words；　I'm　certain　I　must　have　discovered　the　power　to　levitate。
　AFTER　THAT　NIGHT　I　went　to　see　Melina　at　every　opportunity。　Which　meant　anytime　I　had　weaseled　enough　coin　to　buy　a　suitable　gift。　Leego　made　it　very　clear　I　would　be　unwele　without　one。　I　blamed　him　for　this；　not　my　fair　Melina。　I　was　certain　she　wanted　me　for　myself；　not　for　something　so　crassly　material　as　gold。　What　could　he　know　of　the　higher　feelings　that　beat　in　both　our　breasts？　He　was　a　Procurer；　after　all；　interested　only　in　the　profits　the　hetaerae　guild　said　was　his　right。　And　I　knew　he　must　be　the　most　greedy　individual　of　his　money…grubbing　trade。
　I　tried　desperately　to　ignore　Melina's　wild　swings　of　mood。　One　moment　only　/　seemed　to　matter。　The　next　I　would　be　dust　at　her　feet。　I　wallowed　in　her　humiliations；　the　rich　gifts　she　scorned；　the　cold　looks；　her　ostentatious　displays　of　affection　to　other　men。　I　put　my　gifts　at　her　feet　with　the　others。　Bore　her　scorn。　Bore　her　jokes　at　my　expense。　Bore　Leego's　increasingly　mocking　manner。
　I　spent　all　I　had。　Then　I　sold　my　possessions。　I　lied　to　my　father　and　begged　sum　after　sum。　When　he　refused　me；　I　borrowed　from　my　friends　so　heavily　they　began　to　avoid　my　pany。　For　soon　as　I　would　despair；　Melina　would　bee　warm；　casting　long　haunting　looks；　stroking　me　and　petting　me　until　I　was　on　fire　with　desire。　She　would　praise　me　loudly　to　the　other　men；　make　a　trinket　I　had　delivered　into　a　treasure　trove；　or　plain　she　was　weary　and　ached　from　her　work…I　dared　not　imagine　how　she　came　by　those　aches　and　pains…and　beg　me　to　massage　her。　Many　a　time　I　was　her　slave　and　worked　her　limbs　into　suppleness。　She　would　groan　under　my　hands　as　if　lit　by　passion。　She　would　turn　slightly　and　allow　my　hands　to　brush　against　her　secret　places。　Then　she　would　send　me　away　with　promises　burning　hi　her　eyes。　So　I　always　returned；　richly　laden　and　eager。　This　time；　I　would　think；　she'll　fall　into　my　arms　and　beg　me　to　carry　her　away　like　that　brave　captain　in　the　song。　That　moment　never　came。　Because　as　sure　as　the　sun　king　lashes　his　chariot　into　motion　each　dawn；　the　next　greeting　would　be　as　cold　as　a　slave　seller's　heart。
　This　went　on　for　month　after　humiliating　month。　I　became　pale　and　thin　in　the　fevered　pursuit。　When　I　slept；　the　sleep　was　so　troubled　that　I　awakened　as　exhausted　as　before。　It　was　in　that　time　that　I　began　to　have　a　strange　dream。　A　nightmare　that　came　with　increasing　frequency　as　the　days　of　my　obsession　passed。　Even　now　as　I　recall　it　to　write　these　lines　hi　this　journal；　the　dream　leaps　to　life；　leaving　me　as　shaken　as　it　did　so　long　ago。
　But　I　swore　I'd　tell　this　tale。　And　tell　it　all；　despite　any　pain　I　might　relive　。。。
　I　was　not　fettered；　but　rose　when　he　beckoned　as　if　I　wore　manacles　and　he　was　the　keeper　at　the　end　of　the　chain。　I　stepped　awkwardly　across　the　boat's　thwarts　and　then　lunged　up　onto　the　slime…thick　dock　carved　from　living　stone。　My　feet　dragged；　as　my　mind　screamed：　Strike　out。　You　cannot　go　up　those　stairs。　You　must　not。
　
　The　water　beside　the　boat　was　thick；　heaving；　a　dark；　viscous　substance。　I　could　hear　the　hiss　of　the　great　river　beyond　as　it　rushed　through　the　black　gorge　the　boatman　had　brought　us　through。　I　could　also　hear　baying。　It　came　from　above；　from　the　ruined；　cursed　city　on　the　gorge's　plateau。　It　was　not　the　howling　of　jackals；　or　even　direwolves。　Far　above；　far　outside　this　river…dug　cavern；　in　the　city；　in　the　shattered　amphitheater；　in　the　gods…hammered　stones；　the　creatures　sat　in　patient　rings。　Up　there　in　the　moonless　night；　those　creatures　that　bayed　like　hounds　bore　no　semblance　to　anything　seen　on　this　earth。　The　thought　came　that　they　might　have　been　men；　once。　Men　who　had　struck　a　dark　bargain。
　The　boatman　took　one　of　the　torches　that　guttered　on　either　side　of　the　arched　stairway　and　beckoned　once　again。　In　the　flare　of　the　burning　pitch　I　saw　his　arm　clearly；　muscles　flexing；　jumping：　an　arm　that　was　twisted　like　an　olive　tree　that　had　fought　its　way　up　to　sunlight　through　arid　stone。　But　there　was　no　sunlight　in　his　world。　I　knew　his　body's　contortions　had　e　from　the　rack；　from　the　fire…hot　rod。　He　turned；　satisfied　that　I　was　following；　and　went　up　the　worn　stone　steps；　steps　that　many　had　stumbled　up；　crying　aloud　in　their　pain。　But　no　one　had　ever　e　down　again。　No　one　but　the　masters。　Or　this　man　or　his　rades。
　I　knew　this。　I　knew　not　how。
　He　wore　only　black　breeches。　On　his　back　I　could　see　the　marks　of　the　lash；　old　and　new。　I　knew　he　prided　himself　on　those　lash　scars。　On　my　own　back　wounds　throbbed　and　I　felt　the　searing；　shame；　struggle　and　moment　of　pride　not　yet　yielding。
　I；　too；　had　been　tortured。
　Somewhere　above；　someone　was　waiting。　A　great　drum　began；　its　boom　drowning　the　dark　howls　from　the　ruins　on　the　midnight　plateau　above。
　The　steps　ended。
　We　entered　in　a　great　chamber；　stone　arches　lifting　into　blackness。　A　king's　weling　chamber。　It　was　empty；　except　for　the　man　and　myself。　He　beckoned　once　more。　I　heard　the　shatter　of　a　cymbal；　perhaps　only　in　my　mind；　as　I　stared　full　into　his　face。　It　was　riven　by　a　thousand　sins；　a　thousand　eagerly　sought　pains。　His　nose　had　been　broken；　then　broken　again　before　it　had　healed。　His　lips　had　been　shaved　away；　and　his　ears　were　cropped。　His　face　was　sliced　by　a　smile；　crooked；　black　teeth　leering。　One　eye　gleamed　black。　The　other　was　a　gaping　socket。　But　something　moved　within　that　socket。　A　tiny　red；　writhing　fire。　A　fire　that　saw　more　than　the　solitary　eye　that　peered　at　me。
　〃Yes；　Amalric；　my　prey；　my　enemy；　my　friend；　my　reward；　his　intended　partner　and　ambition；〃　said　his　voice。　〃We　are　almost　there。　This　is　what　you　wanted。　This　is　your　weird。　This　is　what　your　brother　could　not　embrace。　e　。。。　e　。。。　It　has　been　too　long　and　He　is　waiting。〃
　He　laughed；　and　the　laugh　was　joined　by　a　great　boom　from　the　darkness；　from　beyond。　That　roar　came　from　someone　who　could　find　no　pleasure　except　in　lashing　pain。　It　rose；　echoing　the　now　mad　baying　from　the　nightmares　in　the　damned　city　beyond；　then　it　buried　their　joy　and　became　its　own　cacophony。
　I　smiled　and　walked　forward；　my　arms　open；　weling　the　dark　radeship　to　e。
　I　awoke；　trembling　and　perspiring；　more　exhausted　than　when　I　had　e　to　my　bed。　At　first　I　feared　the　dream　might　be　an　omen　or　a　curse　in　repayment　for　my　obsession　with　Melina。　But　to　accept　this；　I　would　have　needed　to　confront　myself　and　see　the　folly　of　my　ways。　So　each　time　it　returned　I　pushed　the　dream　from　my　mind　and　fell　to　scheming　once　again　for　money　or　presents　for　Melina。
　Finally；　the　day　of　reckoning　came。　Spurned　by　my　friends；　mocked　by　my　enemies；　and　in　danger　of　being　disowned　by　my　father；　I　sat　in　my　room　reviewing　the　meager　possessions　yet　unsold。　I　was　to　see　Melina　that　night。　One　of　her　slaves　had　brought　the　invitation　to　my　house。　She　had　written　at　the　bottom　of　the　card　in　her　own；　dear　hand：　e　early；　my　love。　So　we　might　steal　a　few　precious　moments　alone。　Hope　burned