cpatricia.blacknotice-第61节

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rmit　him　to　show　up　at　a　clinic；　especially　after　he　started　killing。〃
　　〃Why　do　you　think　he　exchanged　clothes　with　the　man　you　found　in　the　container？　With　Thomas。〃
　　〃If　you're　going　to　escape　on　a　ship；〃　I　surmised；　〃you　wouldn't　want　to　be　in　designer　clothes；　assuming　your　theory　about　the　hand…me…downs　is　true。　It　could　also　be　spite；　contempt。　Getting　in　the　last　word。　We　could　speculate　all　day　long；　but　there's　never　a　formula；　only　the　damage　left　behind：'
　　〃Can　I　get　you　anything？〃　he　asked。
　　〃An　answer；〃　I　said。　〃Why　didn't　you　tell　me　Dr。　Stvan　was　the　one　who　survived？　You　and　the　secretary…general　sat　there　telling　me　this　story　when　you　knew　all　along　it　was　she　you　were　talking　about：'
　　Talley　was　silent。
　　〃You　were　afraid　it　would　scare　me　off；　weren't　you？〃　I　said。　〃The　Loup…Garou　sees　her　and　tries　to　kill　her；　so　maybe　he　would　see　me　and　try　to　kill　me；　too？〃
　　〃Various　people　involved　were　doubtful　you　would　go　see　her　if　you　knew　the　whole　story。〃
　　〃Well；　then　these　various　people　don't　know　me　very　well；〃　I　said。　〃In　fact；　I　would　be　more　likely　to　go　if　I　knew　something　like　that。　The　'hell　with　how　well　you　think　you　know　me　and　can　predict　this　and　that　after　having　met　Lucy　one　or　two　times。〃
　　〃Kay；　it　was　because　of　Dr。　Stvan's　insistence。　She　wanted　to　tell　you　herself　for　a　very　good　reason。　She'd　never　divulged　all　of　the　details　to　anyone；　not　even　the　detective　who　is　her　friend。　He　was　only　able　to　supply　us　with　a　rough　sketch。〃　；
　　〃Why？〃
　　〃Again；　the　people　protecting　the　killer。　If　they　somehow　found　out　and　thought　she　might　have　gotten　a　good　look　at　him；　she　was　afraid　they　might　do　something　to　her。　Or　to　her　husband…　or　two　children。　She　believed　you　wouldn't　betray　her　by　talking　to　anyone　who　might　place　her　in　a　vulnerable　position。　But　in　terms　of　how　much　she　told　you；　she　said　she　wanted　to　make　that　decision　when　she　was　with　you。〃
　　〃In　case　she　didn't　trust　me　after　all。〃
　　〃I　knew　she　would。〃
　　〃I　see。　So　mission　acplished。〃
　　〃Why　are　you　so　angry　with　me？〃　he　asked。
　　〃Because　you're　so　presumptuous。〃
　　〃I　don't　mean　to　be；〃　he　said。　〃I　just　want　us　to　stop　this　werewolf…freak　before　he　kills　and　mutilates　anybody　else。　I　want　to　know　what　makes　him　tick：〃
　　〃Fear　and　avoidance；〃　I　said。　〃Suffering　and　rage　because　he　was　punished　for　something　that　wasn't　his　fault。　He　anguished　alone。　Imagine　being　intelligent　enough　to　prehend　all　that。〃
　　〃He　would　hate　his　mother　most；〃　Talley　said。　〃He　might　even　blame　her。〃
　　Sunlight　polished　his　hair　like　ebony　and　caught　his　eyes　at　the　edge；　flecking　them　with　gold。　I　saw　his　feelings　before　he　could　rush　them　back　into　hiding。　I　got　up　and　looked　out　the　window　because　I　did　not　want　to　look　at　him。
　　〃He　would　hate　women　he　sees；〃　Talley　said。　〃Women　he　could　never　have。　Women　who　would　scream　in　horror　if　they　saw　him；　saw　his　body。〃
　　〃Most　of　all；　he　would　hate　himself；〃　I　said。
　　〃I　know　I　would。〃
　　〃You　paid　for　this　trip；　didn't　you；　Jay？〃
　　He　got　up　and　leaned　against　the　window　frame。
　　〃Not　some　big　corporation　after　this　One…Sixty…Fiver　cartel；〃　I　went　on。
　　I　looked　at　him。
　　〃You　got　Dr。　Stvan　and　me　together。　You　facilitated　everything。　You　set　all　of　it　up　and　paid　for　it；〃　I　said　as　I　became　more　convinced　and　my　incredulity　grew。　〃You　could　do　that　because　you're　very　rich。　Because　your　family's　very　rich：　That's　why　you　went　into　law　enforcement；　isn't　it。　To　get　away　from　being　rich。　And　then　you　act　rich；　look　rich；　anyway。〃
　　For　an　instant；　he　was　caught。
　　〃You　don't　like　it　when　you're　not　the　one　doing　the　interrogating；　do　you？〃　I　said。
　　〃It's　true　I　didn't　want　to　be　like　my　father。　Princeton；　crewing；　marrying　into　the　proper　family；　kids　all　proper；　everything　proper。〃
　　We　were　side　by　side　now；　looking　down　at　the　street　as　if　something　interesting　was　going　on　in　the　world　outside　our　window。
　　〃I　don't　think　you've　bucked　your　father；〃　I　said。　〃I　think　you　fool　yourself　by　being　contraire。　And　certainly　getting　a　badge　and　carrying　a　gun　and　piercing　your　ear　is　contraire　if　you　went　to　Harvard　and　are　a　millionaire。〃
　　〃Why　are　you　saying　all　this　to　me？〃
　　He　turned　to　look　at　me；　and　we　were　so　close　I　could　smell　his　cologne　and　feel　his　breath。
　　〃Because　I　don't　want　to　wake　up　tomorrow　and　realize　I'm　part　of　some　contraire　script　you've　spun　in　your　mind。　I　don't　want　to　believe　I've　just　broken　the　law　and　every　oath　I've　ever　sworn　to　because　you　just　happen　to　be　a　spoiled　rich　boy　whose　idea　of　being　contraire　is　to　encourage　someone　like　me　to　do　something　so　contraire　it　could　ruin　my　career。　What's　left　of　my　career。　And　maybe　land　me　in　some　fucking　French　prison。〃
　　〃I'd　e　visit　you。〃
　　〃This　isn't　funny。〃
　　〃I'm　not　spoiled；　Kay。〃
　　I　thought　of　the　do　not　disturb　sign；　the　chained　door。　I　touched　his　neck　and　traced　the　angle　of　his　strong　jaw；　lingering　on　the　corner　of　his　mouth。　I　had　not　felt　a　man's　beard　against　my　skin　in　more　than　a　year。　I　reached　up　with　both　hands　and　pushed　my　fingers　through　his　thick　hair。　It　was　warm　from　the　sun；　and　his　eyes　were　in　mine；　waiting　to　see　what　I　might　do　with　him。
　　I　pulled　him　to　me。　I　kissed　and　touched　him　aggressively；　running　my　hands　up　and　down　his　hard；　perfect　body　as　he　fought　with　my　clothes。
　　〃God；　you're　so　beautiful；〃　he　said　into　my　mouth。　〃Christ；　you've　been　driving　me　insane　。　。　。　！〃　He　tore'off　a　button　and　bent　hooks。　〃Sitting　there　in　front　of　the　fucking　secretary…general　and　I'm　trying　not　to　stare　at　your　breasts。〃
　　He　gathered　them　into　his　hands。　I　wanted　it　raw　and　without　limits。　I　wanted　the　violence　in　me　to　make　love　to　his　violence；　because　I　didn't　want　to　be　reminded　of　Benton；　who　had　known　how　to　slowly　smooth　me　like　a　stone　and　skip　me　through　erotic　waters。
　　I　pulled　Talley　into　the　bedroom；　and　he　was　no　match　for　me　because　I　had　experience　and　skills　he　knew　nothing　of。　I　controlled　him。　I　dominated。　I　helped　myself　to　him　until　we　were　exhausted　and　slippery　with　sweat。　Benton　wasn't　in　that　room。　But　had　he　somehow　seen　what　I　just　did；　he　would　have　understood。
　　The　afternoon　moved　on　and　we　drank　wine　and　watched　shadows　change　on　the　ceiling　as　the　sun　got　weary　of　the　day。　When　the　phone　rang；　I　didn't　answer　it。　When　Marino　thumped　on　the　door　and　called　out　to　me；　I　pretended　no　one　was　home。　When　the　phone　rang　again；　I　shook　my　head。
　　〃Marino；　Marino；〃　I　said。
　　〃Your　bodyguard。〃
　　〃He　didn't　do　a　very　good　job　this　time；〃　I　said　as　Talley　fit　as　much　of　me　into　his　mouth　as　he　could。　〃I　suppose　I'll　have　to　fire　him。〃
　　〃I　wish　you　would。〃
　　〃Tell　me　I　haven't　mitted　yet　another　felony　this　day。　And　that　your　name；　Agent　Talley；　has　nothing　to　do　with　keeping　score。〃
　　〃Okay。　My　name　has　nothing　to　do　with　keeping　score。　But　I　don't　know　about　the　felony　part。〃
　　It　seemed　that　Marino　gave　up　on　me；　and　as　it　got　dark；　Talley　and…　I　took　a　shower　together。　He　washed　my　hair　and　made　a　joke　about　the　age　difference　between　us。　He　said　it　was　another　example　of　his　being　contraire。　I　said　we　should　go　to　dinner。
　　〃What　about　the　Café　Runtz？〃　he　asked。
　　〃What　about　it？〃
　　〃What　the　French　would　call　chaleureux；　ancien　et　familial…warm；　old；　familiar。　The　Opéra…ique　is　next　door；
　　so　there　are　photographs　of　opera　singers　all　over　the　walls。〃
　　I　thought　of　Marino。　I　needed　to　let　him　know　I　was　not　lost　somewhere　in　Paris。
　　〃It's　a　nice　walk；〃　Talley　was　saying。　〃Maybe　only　fifteen　minutes。　Twenty　at　the　most。〃
　　〃I　need　to　find　Marino　first；〃　I　said。　〃He's　probably　in　the　bar。〃
　　〃Would　you　like　me　to　look　for　him　and　send　him　up？〃
　　〃I'm　sure　he　would　be　most　appreciative；〃　I　said　facetiously。
　　Marino　found　me　before　Talley　found　him。　I　was　still　drying　my　hair　when　Marino　showed　up　at　my　door；　and　the　look　on　his　face　told　me　he　knew　why　he　had　not　been　able　to　reach　me。
　　〃Where　the　hell　you　been？〃　he　asked　as　he　walked　in。
　　〃The　Institut　Médico…Légal。〃
　　〃All　day？〃
　　〃No；　not　all　day；〃　I　said。
　　Marino　looked　at　the　bed。　Talley　and　I　had　made　it；　but　it　didn't　look　quite　the　way　the　housekeepers　had　left　it　this　morning。
　　〃I'm　going　out　to　。　。　。〃　I　started　to　say。
　　〃With　him；〃　Marino　raised　his　voice。　〃I　goddamn　knew　this　would　happen。　I　can't　believe　you　fell　for　it。　Je…sus　Christ。　I　thought　you　was　above　。。。　。〃
　　〃Marino；　this　is　none　of　your　business；〃　I　wearily　said。
　　He　blocked　the　door；　hands　on　his　hips　like　a　stern　nanny。　He　looked　so　ridiculous；　I　had　to　laugh。
　　〃What's　the　matter　with　you？〃　he　exclaimed。　〃One　minute　you're　looking　at　Benton's　autopsy　report　and　the　next　you're　screwing　around　with　some　playboy；　snotty；　stuck…on…himself　kid！　You　couldn't　even　wait　twenty…four　hours；　Doc！　How　could　you　do　that　to　Benton？〃
　　〃Marino；　for　God's　sake　keep　your　voice　down。　There's　been　quite　enough　yelling　in　this　room。〃
　　〃How　could　you？〃　He　looked　at　me　with　disgust；　as　if　I　were　a　whore。　〃You　just　get　his　letter　and　have　me　and　Lucy　over　and　then　last　night　you're　sitting　here　crying。　And　what？　None　of　it　happened？　You　just　start