annr.pandora-第39节

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res　of　the　Northern　sky　who　hurl　thunderbolts。　Her　worship　is　founded　in　the　good；　in　the　pure！〃
　〃No；　no；　no；〃　he　said。　He　stepped　back　as　if　that　would　make　it　all　the　more　emphatic。　〃You're　talking　rot！〃　he　said。　〃Stupidity；　rank　superstition！〃
　〃I　don't　believe　you　said　those　words！〃　I　cried。　〃You　are　a　monster！〃　I　said。　〃She　deserves　her　throne！　So　does　the　King；　who　sits　beside　her。　They　deserve　their　worshipers　bringing　flowers　to　them。　Did　you　think　you　had　the　power　to　read　minds　for　no　good　reason！〃　I　came　forward。　〃Do　you　remember　when　I　first　mocked　you　in　the　Temple？　When　I　said　you　ought　to　station　yourself　at　the　courts　and　look　into　the　minds　of　the　accused？　I　had　hit　the　mark　in　my　ridicule！〃
　〃No。〃　he　roared。　〃This　is　absolutely　not　true；〃　he　said。
　He　turned　his　back　on　me；　rushing　into　the　house。
　I　followed　him。
　He　rushed　down　the　stairway　and　into　her　sanctum；　stopping　short　before　her。　She　and　her　King　sat　as　before。　Not　an　eyelash　moved。　Only　the　flowers　clung　to　life　in　the　perfumed　air。
　I　looked　down　at　my　hands；　so　white！　Could　I　die　now？　Would　I　live　centuries　like　the　burnt　one？
　I　studied　their　seemingly　divine　faces。　They　did　not　smile。　They　did　not　dream。　They　looked；　and　nothing　more。
　I　fell　down　on　my　knees。
　〃Akasha；〃　I　whispered。　〃May　I　call　you　this　name？　Tell　me　what　you　want。〃
　There　was　no　change　in　her。　None　whatsoever。
　〃Well；　speak；　Mother！〃　declared　Marius；　his　voice　thick　with　sadness。　〃Speak！　Is　it　what　you've　always　wanted？〃
　Suddenly　he　dashed　forward；　mounted　the　two　steps　of　her　dais　and　pounded　on　her　breasts　with　his　fists。
　I　was　horrified。
　She　didn't　move；　she　didn't　blink。　His　fist　struck　a　hardness　he　could　not　budge。　Only　her　hair；　struck　by　his　arm；　gave　a　little　sway。
　I　ran　to　him　and　tried　to　pull　him　away。
　〃Stop　it；　Marius；　she'll　destroy　you！〃
　I　was　amazed　at　my　strength。　Surely　it　equalled　his。　But　he　allowed　me　to　pull　him　back；　his　face　flooded　with　tears。
　〃Oh；　what　have　I　done！〃　he　said　staring　at　her。　〃Oh；　Pandora；　Pandora！　What　have　I　done！　I've　made　another　blood　drinker　when　I　swore　that　there　would　never；　never　be　another　made；　not　so　long　as　I　survived！〃
　〃e　upstairs；〃　I　said　calmly。　I　glanced　at　the　King　and　Queen。　No　sign　of　response　or　recognition。　〃It　isn't　proper；　Marius；　that　we　argue　here　in　the　Shrine。　e　upstairs。〃
　He　nodded。
　He　let　me　lead　him　slowly　out　of　the　room。　His　head　was　bowed。
　〃Your　long　barbarian　hair　is　most　being；〃　I　said。　〃And　I　have　eyes　now　to　see　you　as　never　before。　Our　blood　is　intertwined　as　it　might　be　in　a　child　born　to　us。〃
　He　wiped　at　his　nose；　and　didn't　look　at　me。
　We　walked　into　the　large　library。
　〃Marius；　is　there　nothing　in　me　that　fills　your　eye；　nothing　you　find　beautiful？〃
　〃Oh；　yes；　my　dear；　there　is　everything！〃　he　said。　〃But　for　the　love　of　Heaven；　bring　your　wits　with　you　into　this！　Don't　you　see！　Your　life's　been　stolen　not　for　a　sacred　truth　but　for　a　degraded　mystery！　Reading　minds　doesn't　make　me　any　wiser　than　the　next　man！　I　kill　to　live！　As　she　once　did；　thousands　and　thousands　of　years　ago。　Oh；　and　she　knew　she　had　to　do　this。　She　knew　the　time　had　e。〃
　〃What　time？　What　did　she　know？〃
　I　stared　at　him。　I　was　gradually　realizing　that　I　could　no　longer　read　his　thoughts；　and　surely　he　couldn't　read　mine。　But　the　hovering　boys；　they　were　just　open　books　in　their　fear；　thinking　themselves　the　servants　of　kindhearted　but　very　loud…voiced　demons。
　Marius　sighed。　〃She　did　it　because　I　had　almost　gained　the　courage　to　do　what　I　had　to　do！　To　place　them　both　and　myself　in　the　sun　and　finish　forever　what　the　Egyptian　Elder　had　sought　to　do　…　rid　the　world　of　the　King　and　Queen　and　all　the　fanged　men　and　women　who　glut　themselves　on　death！　Oh；　she　is　too　clever。〃
　〃You　really　planned　to　do　that？〃　I　asked。　〃To　immolate　them　and　yourself？〃
　He　made　a　small　sarcastic　sound。　〃Yes；　of　course；　I　planned　it。　Next　week；　next　month；　next　year；　next　decade；　after　another　hundred　years；　maybe　in　two　hundred；　maybe　after　I'd　read　all　the　books　in　the　world　and　seen　all　the　places；　maybe　in　five　hundred　years；　maybe。。。　maybe　soon　in　my　loneliness。〃
　I　was　at　first　too　stunned　to　speak。
　He　smiled　at　me　wisely　and　sadly。　〃Oh；　but　I　cry　like　a　child；〃　he　said　softly。
　〃Where　es　the　confidence；〃　I　asked；　〃to　put　an　end　so　swiftly　to　such　bold　and　plex　evidence　of　divine　magic！〃
　〃Magic！〃　he　cursed。
　〃I'd　rather　if　you　did　not　do　this；〃　I　said。　〃I　don't　mean　the　crying；　I　mean　burning　up　the　Mother　and　Father　and。。。〃
　〃I'm　sure　you　would！〃　he　answered。　〃And　do　you　think　I　could　bear　to　do　it　against　your　will；　subject　you　to　the　fire？　You　innocent　desperate　idiot　of　a　woman！　Restore　her　altars！　Oh！　Restore　her　worship！　Oh！　You　are　out　of　your　mind！〃
　〃Idiot！　You　dare　sling　your　insults　at　me！　You　think　you've　brought　a　slave　into　your　household？　You　haven't　even　brought　a　wife。〃
　Yes。　Our　minds　were　locked　now　to　each　other；　and　later　I　would　find　out　that　it　was　because　of　our　heavy　exchange　of　blood。　But　all　I　knew　then　was　that　we　had　to　content　ourselves　with　words　like　mortal　men　and　women。
　〃I　did　not　mean　to　use　petty　insults！〃　he　said。　He　was　stung。
　〃Well；　then　sharpen　your　great　male　reason　and　your　lofty　elegant　patrician　mode　of　expression！〃　I　said。
　We　glowered　at　one　another。
　〃Yes。〃　he　said。　〃Reason；〃　he　said。　He　held　up　his　finger。　〃You　are　the　most　clever　woman　I've　ever　known。　And　you　listen　to　reason。　I　will　explain　and　you　will　see。　That　is　what　must　be　done。〃
　〃Yes；　and　you　are　hotheaded　and　sentimental　and　give　way　to　tears　again　and　again　…　and　you　pound　upon　the　Queen　herself　like　a　child　throwing　a　tantrum！〃
　His　face　went　red　with　immediate　anger。　It　sealed　his　lips　against　his　words。
　He　turned　and　went　away。
　〃Do　you　cast　me　out？〃　I　said。　〃Do　you　want　me　gone！〃　I　shouted。　〃This　is　your　house。　Tell　me　now　if　you　want　me　gone。　I'll　go　now！〃
　He　stopped。　〃No；〃　he　said。
　He　turned　around　and　looked　at　me；　shaken；　and　caught　off　guard。　In　a　raw　voice；　he　said；　〃Don't　go；　Pandora！〃　He　blinked　as　if　to　dear　his　vision。　〃Don't　go。　Please；　don't。〃　And　then　he　let　fall　a　final　whisper。　〃We　have　each　other。〃
　〃And　where　do　you　go　now；　to　get　away　from　me？〃
　〃Only　to　change　her　dress；〃　he　said　with　a　sad　bitter　smile。　〃To　clean　and　recostume　'such　bold　evidence　of　plex　and　divine　magic。'　〃
　He　disappeared。
　I　turned　to　the　violet　outdoors。　To　the　clouds　stirred　in　a　cauldron　by　the　moon；　to　defy　the　darkness。　To　the　big　old　trees　that　said；　Mount　our　limbs；　we　will　embrace　you！　To　the　scattered　flowers　everywhere　that　said；　We　are　your　bed。　Lie　down　with　us。
　And　so　the　two…hundred…year　brawl　began。
　And　it　never　really　ended。
　
　
　10
　
　With　my　eyes　still　closed；　I　heard　voices　of　the　city；　voices　from　nearby　houses；　I　heard　men　talking　as　they　passed　on　the　road　outside。　I　heard　music　ing　from　somewhere；　and　the　laughter　of　women　and　children。　When　I　concentrated　I　could　understand　what　they　said。　I　chose　not　to　do　this；　and　their　voices　melded　with　the　breeze。
　Suddenly；　the　state　seemed　unbearable。　There　seemed　nothing　to　do　but　rush　back　to　the　chapel　and　kneel　there　and　worship！　These　senses　I　had　been　given　seemed　fit　for　nothing　else。　If　this　was　my　destiny；　then　what　was　to　bee　of　me？
　Through　it　all；　I　heard　a　soul　weeping　in　agony；　it　was　an　echo　of　my　own；　a　soul　broken　from　a　course　of　great　hope；　who　could　scarce　believe　that　such　fine　beginnings　should　end　in　terror！
　It　was　Flavius。
　I　leapt　into　the　old　gnarled　olive　tree。　It　was　as　simple　as　taking　a　step。　I　stood　among　the　branches；　and　then　leapt　to　the　next；　and　then　to　the　top　of　the　wall；　encrusted　with　vine。　I　walked　along　the　wall　towards　the　gate。
　There　he　stood；　his　forehead　pressed　to　the　bars；　both　hands　clutching　at　the　iron。　He　bled　from　several　slash　marks　on　his　cheek。　He　gnashed　his　teeth。
　〃Flavius！〃　I　said。
　He　looked　up　with　a　start。　〃Lady　Pandora！〃
　Surely　by　the　light　of　the　moon；　he　saw　the　miracle　wrought　in　me；　whatever　its　cause。　For　I　saw　the　mortality　in　him；　the　deep　wrinkles　of　his　skin；　the　painful　flutter　of　his　gaze；　a　thin　layer　of　soil　clinging　to　him　all　over　in　the　natural　moisture　of　his　mortal　skin。
　〃You　must　go　home；〃　I　said；　climbing　to　sit　on　the　wall；　with　legs　on　the　outside。　I　bent　down　so　he　could　hear　me。　He　didn't　back　away　but　his　eyes　were　huge　with　fascination。　〃Go　see　to　the　girls；　and　sleep；　and　get　those　marks　attended　to。　The　demon's　dead；　you　needn't　worry　anymore　about　him。　e　back　here　tomorrow　night　at　sundown。〃
　He　shook　his　head。　He　tried　to　speak　but　he　couldn't。　He　tried　to　gesture　but　he　couldn't。　His　heart　thundered　in　his　chest。　He　glanced　back　down　the　road　to　the　small　far…flung　lights　of　Antioch。　He　looked　at　me。　I　heard　his　heart　galloping。　I　felt　his　shock；　and　his　fear；　and　it　was　fear　for　me；　not　him。　Fear　that　some　awful　fate　had　befallen　me。　He　reached　for　the　gate　and　clung　to　the　bars；　right　arm　hooked　around　and　left　hand　clasping　it　as　if　he　wouldn't　be　moved。
　I　saw　myself　as　he　saw　me　in　his　mind　…　in　a　boy's　sashed　tunic；　my　hair　wildly　free；　sitting　atop　the　wall；　as　if　my　body　were　young　and　pliant。　All　lines　of　age　had　go