annr.pandora-第31节

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　wounded　hunter；　whom　I　will　find。〃
　〃You're　not　telling　me　all　you　know！　What　happened　to　you；　Marius！　What　happened！　Who　did　this　to　you；　this　miracle　of　your　radiance。　This　is　no　cloak；　the　light　es　from　within！〃
　〃Damn　it；　Pandora；　do　you　think　I　wanted　my　life　foreshortened　and　my　destiny　extended　forever！〃　He　was　suffering。　He　looked　at　me；　unwilling　to　speak；　and　I　felt　such　pain　ing　from　him；　such　loneliness；　that　for　a　moment　it　was　unbearable。
　I　felt　a　wave　of　my　own　anguish　of　the　long　night　before；　when　the　utter　vacuity　of　all　religions　and　creeds　had　struck　me　hard　and　the　sheer　effort　of　a　good　life　seemed　a　fool's　trap；　and　nothing　more。
　He　suddenly　dosed　his　arms　around　me；　surprising　me；　holding　me　firmly　and　rubbing　his　cheek　gently　against　my　hair；　and　kissing　my　head。　Silken；　polished；　gentle　beyond　words。　〃Pandora；　Pandora；　Pandora；〃　he　said。　〃The　beautiful　little　girl　grown　into　the　marvelous　woman。〃
　I　held　this　hard　effigy　of　the　most　spectacular　and　singular　man　I　had　ever　known　or　seen：　I　held　it　and　this　time　heard　the　beating　of　his　heart；　the　distinct　rhythm　of　it。　I　laid　my　ear　on　his　chest。
　〃Oh；　Marius；　if　only　I　could　lay　my　head　to　rest　next　to　yours。　If　I　could　only　yield　to　your　protection。　But　you　are　driving　me　away！　You　don't　promise　guardianship；　you　ordain　flight　for　me；　wandering　and　more　nightmares；　and　mystery；　and　despair。　No。　I　can't。〃
　I　turned　away　from　his　caresses。　I　could　feel　his　kisses　on　my　hair。
　〃Don't　tell　me　that　I'll　never　see　you　again。　Don't　think　I　can　bear　that　along　with　everything　else　that's　happened。　I　have　no　one　here；　and　then　who　es　but　one　who　left　such　a　stamp　on　my　girlish　heart　that　the　details　are　as　deep　as　the　finest　coin。　And　you　Say　you　will　never　see　me　again；　that　I　must　go。〃
　I　turned　around。
　It　was　lust　shining　in　his　eyes。　Yet　he　checked　it。　In　a　soft　voice；　he　confessed　with　a　little　smile：
　〃Oh；　how　I　admired　your　work　with　the　Legate。　I　thought　the　two　of　you　would　plan　out　the　whole　conquest　of　the　Germanic　tribes　on　your　own。〃　He　sighed。　〃You　must　find　a　good　life；　a　rich　life；　a　life　where　your　soul　and　body　are　fed。〃　The　color　flared　in　his　face；　He　looked　at　me；　at　my　breasts；　at　my　hips　and　then　at　my　face。　Ashamed　and　trying　to　conceal　it。　Lust。
　〃Are　you　a　man　still？〃　I　asked。
　He　didn't　answer　me。　But　his　expression　grew　chilly。
　〃You　will　never　know　the　full　extent　of　what　I　am！〃　he　said。
　〃Ah；　but　not　a　man。〃　I　said。　〃Am　I　right？　Not　a　man。〃
　〃Pandora；　you　are　deliberately　taunting　me。　Why？　Why　do　this？〃
　〃This　transformation；　this　induction　into　the　blood　drinkers；　it's　added　no　inches　to　your　height。　Did　it　add　any　inches　anywhere　else？〃
　〃Please　stop　this；〃　he　said。
　〃Want　me；　Marius。　Say　that　you　do。　I　see　it。　Confirm　it　in　words。　What　does　that　cost　you？〃
　〃You　are　infuriating！〃　he　said。　His　face　colored　deeply　with　his　rage；　and　pressed　his　lips　together　so　hard　that　they　went　white。　〃Thank　the　gods　that　I　don't　want　you！　Not　enough　to　betray　love　for　brief　and　bloody　ecstasy。〃
　〃The　Temple　people；　they　don't　really　know　what　you　are；　do　they？〃
　〃No！〃　he　said。
　〃And　you　will　not　lay　open　your　heart　to　me。〃
　〃Never。　You　will　forget　me　and　these　dreams　will　fade。　I　wager　I　can　make　them　fade；　myself；　through　prayer　for　you。　I　will　do　it。〃
　〃That's　a　pious　tack；〃　I　said。　〃What　grants　you　such　favor　with　the　ancient　Isis；　who　drank　blood　and　was　the　Fount'？〃
　〃Don't　say　those　words；　it's　all　lies；　all　of　it。　You　do　not　know　that　this　Queen　you　saw　was　Isis。　What　did　you　learn　in　these　nightmares？　Think。　You　learned　that　this　Queen　was　the　prisoner　of　those　who　drank　blood　and　she　condemned　them！　They　were　evil。　Think。　Go　back　into　the　dream。　Think。　You　thought　them　evil；　evil　then；　and　you　think　them　evil　now。　In　the　Temple；　you　caught　the　scent　of　evil。　I　know　you　did。　I　watched　you。〃
　〃Yes。　But　you're　not　evil；　Marius；　you　can't　convince　me　of　this！　You　have　a　body　like　marble；　you're　a　blood　drinker；　but　like　a　god；　but　not　evil！〃
　He　was　about　to　protest　when　he　stopped　again。　He　looked　out　of　the　corner　of　his　eye。　And　then　slowly　turned　his　head　and　let　his　gaze　drift　up　through　the　roof　of　the　peristyle。
　〃Is　it　the　dawn　ing；〃　I　asked；　〃the　rays　of　Amon　Ra？〃
　〃You　are　the　most　maddening　human　being　I've　ever　known！〃　he　said。　〃If　I　had　married　you；　you　would　have　put　me　in　an　early　grave。　I　would　have　been　spared　all　of　this！〃
　〃All　of　what'？〃
　He　called　out　for　Flavius；　who　had　been　dose　all　the　while；　listening　to　everything。
　〃Flavius；　I'm　leaving　now；〃　he　said。　〃I　must。　But　guard　her。　When　night　falls；　I'll　be　here　again；　as　quickly　as　I　can。　Should　anything　precede　me；　any　badly　scarred　and　frightening　assailant；　go　for　its　head　with　your　sword。　The　head；　remember？　And　of　course　your　Mistress　here　will　no　doubt　be　quite　able　to　lend　a　hand　in　defending　herself。〃
　〃Yes；　sir。　Must　we　leave　Antioch？〃
　〃Watch　your　words；　my　faithful　Greek；〃　I　said。　〃I　am　Mistress　here。　We　are　not　leaving　Antioch。〃
　〃Try　to　persuade　her　to　prepare；〃　said　Marius。
　He　looked　at　me。
　A　long　silence　fell　between　us。　I　knew　he　read　my　thoughts。　Then　a　shudder　of　the　blood　dreams　passed　over　me。　I　saw　his　eyes　brighten。　Something　quickened　in　his　expression。　I　shook　off　the　dream；　filled　with　terror。　I　am　no　hostess　to　terror。
　〃It's　all　interwound；〃　I　murmured；　〃the　dreams；　the　Temple；　you　being　there；　their　calling　on　you　for　help。　What　are　you；　some　white　god　put　on　Earth　to　hunt　the　dark　blood　drinkers'？　Does　the　Queen　live？〃
　〃Oh；　I　wish　I　were　such　a　god。〃　he　said。　〃I　would　be　if　I　could　be！　That　no　more　blood　drinkers　will　ever　be　made；　of　that　I　am　certain。　Let　them　lay　flowers　on　an　altar　before　a　statue　of　basalt！〃
　I　felt　such　love　for　him　and　rushed　to　him　suddenly。　〃Take　me　with　you　now；　wherever　you　are　going。
　〃I　can't！〃　he　said。　He　blinked　as　though　something　hurt　his　eyes。　He　couldn't　fully　lift　his　head。
　〃It's　the　ing　light；　isn't　it？　You　are　one　of　them。〃
　〃Pandora；　when　I　e　to　you；　be　ready　to　leave　this　place！〃　he　said。
　And　he　vanished。
　Like　that；　he　vanished。　Like　that；　he　was　gone　from　my　arms　and　from　my　living　room　and　from　my　house。
　I　turned　away　and　walked　slowly　about　the　shadowy　living　room。　I　looked　at　the　murals　on　the　　walls；　the　happy　dancing　figures　with　their　laurels　and　their　crowns　of　leaves　…　Bacchus　and　his　nymphs；　so　modestly　covered　for　such　a　riotous　crew！
　Flavius　spoke。　〃Madam；　a　sword　which　I　found　among　your　possessions；　may　I　have　it　in　readiness？〃
　〃Yes；　and　daggers　galore；　and　fire；　do　not　forget　fire。　It　will　run　from　fire。〃　I　sighed。　How　did　I　know　this？　I　did。　So　much　for　it。
　　〃But　Flavius。〃　I　turned　around。　〃It　won't　e　until　dark。　There　is　only　a　small　margin　of　the　night　left。　We　can　both　sleep　as　soon　as　we　see　the　sky　turn　purple。〃
　I　lifted　my　hand　to　my　forehead。　
　〃I　am　trying　to　remember。。。〃
　〃What；　Madam？〃　Flavius　said。　He　looked　no　less　splendid　after　the　spectacle　of　Marius；　simply　a　man　of　different　proportion　but　equally　fine；　and　with　warm　human　skin。　〃Whether　the　dreams　ever　came　by　day。　Was　it　always　night　Oh；　I　am　sleepy　and　they　summon　me。　Flavius；　put　a　light　in　my　bath。　But　I'm　going　to　bed。　I　am　drowsy。　Can　you　watch'？〃
　〃Yes；　Madam。〃
　〃Look；　the　stars　have　all　but　faded。　What　is　it　like　to　be　one　of　them；　Flavius；　to　be　admired　only　in　the　darkness；　when　men　and　women　live　with　candles　and　lamps。　To　be　known　and　described；　only　in　the　heaviness　of　night；　when　all　the　business　of　day　has　ended！〃
　〃You　are　truly　the　most　resourceful　woman　I've　ever　known；〃　he　said。　〃How　you　brought　justice　to　the　man　who　accused　you。〃　He　took　my　arm；　and　we　moved　towards　the　bedchamber　where　I　had　dressed　that　morning。　I　loved　him。　An　entire　lifetime　of　crises　could　not　have　made　it　stronger。
　〃You　will　not　sleep　in　the　great　bed　of　the　house；　in　the　dining　room？〃
　〃No；〃　I　said。　〃That　is　for　the　display　of　marriage；　and　I　will　never　know　marriage　again。　I　want　to　bathe；　but　I'm　so　sleepy。〃
　〃I　can　wake　the　girls。〃
　〃No；　to　the　bed。　You　have　a　chamber　proper？〃
　〃Yes；〃　he　led　the　way。　It　was　still　quite　dark。　I　thought　I　heard　a　rustling　noise。　Realized　it　was　nothing。
　And　there　lay　the　bed　with　its　small　lamp；　and　on　the　bed　so　many　pillows　in　the　Oriental　style；　a　soft　soft　nest　into　which　I　fell；　like　a　Persian。
　At　once；　the　dream：
　We　blood　drinkers　stood　in　a　vast　Temple。　It　was　meant　to　be　dark。　We　could　see　this　dark；　as　certain　animals　must　see　in　the　dark。　We　were　all　bronze…skinned；　or　tanned；　or　golden。　We　were　all　men。
　On　the　floor　lay　the　Queen　screaming。　Her　skin　was　white。　Pure　white。　Her　long　hair　was　black。　Her　crown　bore　the　horns　and　the　sun！　The　crown　of　Isis。　She　was　the　goddess！　It　took　five　blood　drinkers　on　either　side　to　hold　her　down。　She　thrashed　her　head　from　side　to　side；　her　eyes　seeming　to　crackle　with　Divine　Light。
　〃I　am　your　Queen！　You　cannot　do　this　to　me！〃　How　purely　white　she　was；　and　her　screams　grew　ever　more　desperate　and　imploring。　〃Great　Osiris；　save　me　from　this！　Save　me　from　these　blasphemers！　Save　me　from　the　profane！〃
　The　Priest　beside　me　sneered　at　her。
　The　King　sat　motionless　on　the　throne。　But　it　was　not　to　th