cb.imajica2-第86节
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lpiece and seemed for a moment to see the mystif s face there; changing with each flicker of the candlelight。 Athanasius had called the love he felt for the mystif profane。 He hadn't believed it then; and he didn't now。 The purpose that was in him as Reconciler and the desire he felt for reunion were part of the same plan。
The prayer was gone from his tongue。 No matter; he thought; I'm its executor now。 He got up; took one of the candles from the mantelpiece; and; smiling; stepped over the perimeters of the circle; not as a simple traveler but as a Maestro; ready to use its engine to miraculous end。
Lying on the cushions in the lounge below; Jude felt the flow of energies start。 They ached in her chest and belly; like mild dyspepsia。 She rubbed her stomach; in the hope of soothing the disfort; but it did little good; so she got to her feet and hobbled out; leaving Monday to entertain HoiPolloi with his chatter and his handiwork。 He'd taken to drawing on the walls with the smoke from one of the candles; enhancing the marks with his chalks。 Hoi…Polloi was much impressed; and her laughter; the first Jude had ever heard from the girl; followed her out into the hallway; where she found Clem standing guard beside the locked front door。
They stared at each other in the candlelight for several seconds before she said; 〃Do you feel it too?〃
〃Yep。 It's not very pleasant; is it?〃
〃I thought it was only me;〃 she said。
〃Why only you?〃
〃I don't know; some kind of punishment。。。。〃
〃You still think he's got some secret agenda; don't you?〃
〃No;〃 Jude said; glancing up the stairs。 〃I think he's doing what he believes is best。 In fact I know it。 Uma Umagammagi got inside his head…〃
〃God; he hated that。〃
〃She gave him a good report; whether he hated it or not。〃
〃So?〃
〃So there's still a conspiracy somewhere。〃
〃Sartori?〃
〃No。 It's something to do with their Father and this damn Reconciliation。〃 She winced as the disfort in her belly became more severe。 〃I'm not afraid of Sartori。 It's what's going on in this house〃…she gritted her teeth as another wave of pain passed through her system…〃that I can't quite trust。〃
She looked back at Clem and knew that; as ever; he'd listen as a loving friend; but she could expect no support from him。 He and Tay were the angels of the Reconciliation; and if she pressed them to decide between her welfare and that of the working; she'd be the loser。
The sound of Hoi…Polloi's laughter came again; not as feathery as before; but with an undertow of mischief Jude knew was sexual。 She turned her back on the sound and on Clem; and her gaze came to rest on the door of the one room in this house she'd never entered。 It stood a little ajar; and she could see that candles were burning inside。 Of all the pany to seek out when she was in need of fort; Celestine's was the least promising; but all other avenues were closed to her。 She crossed to the door and pushed it open。 The mattress was empty; and the candle beside it was burning low。 The room was too large to be illuminated by such a fitful flame; and she had to study the darkness until she found its occupant。 Celestine was standing against the far wall。
〃I'm surprised you came back;〃 she said。
Jude had heard many exquisite speakers since she'd last heard Celestine; but there was still something extraordinary in the way the woman mingled voices: one running beneath the other; as though the part of her touched by divinity had never entirely married with a baser self。
〃Why surprised?〃
〃Because I thought you'd stay with the Goddesses。〃
〃I was tempted;〃 Jude replied。
〃But finally you had to e back。 For him。〃
〃I was a messenger; that's all。 I've got no claims on Gentle now。〃
〃I didn't mean Gentle。〃
〃I see。〃
〃I meant…〃
〃I know who you meant。〃
〃Can't you bear to have his name spoken?〃
Celestine had been staring at the candle flame; but now she looked up at Jude。
〃What will you do when he's dead?〃 she asked。 〃He will die; you realize that? He has to。 Gentle'11 want to be magnanimous; the way 。victors are supposed to be; he'll want to forgive all his brother's trespasses。 But there'll be too many demands for his head。〃
Until now Jude hadn't contemplated the possibility of Sartori's demise。 Even in the tower; knowing Gentle had gone in pursuit of his brother intending to stop his malice; she'd never believed he'd die。 But what Celestine said was undoubtedly true。 There were countless claims upon his head; both secular and divine。 Even if Gentle was forgiving; Jokataytau wouldn't be; nor would the Unbeheld。
〃You're very alike; you know; you and he;〃 Celestine said。 〃Both copies of a finer original。〃
〃You never knew Quaisoir;〃 Jude replied。 〃You don't know whether she was finer or not。〃
〃Copies are always coarser。 It's their nature。 But at least your instinct's good。 You and he belong together。 That's what you're pining for; isn't it? Why don't you admit it?〃
〃Why should I pour out my heart to you?〃
〃Isn't that what you came in here to do? You won't get any sympathy out there。〃
〃Listening by the door now?〃
〃I've heard everything that's gone on in this house since I was brought here。 And what I haven't heard; I've felt。 And what I haven't felt; I've predicted。〃
〃Like what?〃
〃Well; for one thing that child Monday will end up coupling with the little virgin you brought back from Yzordderrex。〃
〃That scarcely takes an oracle。〃
〃And the Oviate isn't long for this world。〃
〃The Oviate?〃
〃It calls itself Little Ease。 The beast you had under your heel。 It asked the Maestro to bless it a little while ago。 It'll murder itself before daybreak。〃
〃Why would it do that?〃
〃It knows when Sartori perishes it'll be forfeit too; however much allegiance it's sworn to the winning side。 It's sensible。 It wants to choose its moment。〃
〃Am I supposed to find some lesson in that?〃
〃I don't think you're capable of suicide;〃 Celestine said。
〃You're right。 I've got too much to live for。〃
〃Motherhood?〃
〃And the future。 There's going to be a change in this city。 I've seen it in Yzordderrex already。 The waters will rise…〃
〃…and the great sisterhood will dispense love from on high。〃
〃Why not? Clem told me what happened when the Goddess came。 You were in ecstasies; so don't try and deny it。〃
〃Maybe I was。 But do you imagine that's going to make you and me sisters? What have we got in mon; besides our sex?〃
The question was meant to sting; but its plainness made Jude see the questioner with fresh eyes。 Why was Celestine so eager to deny any other link between them but womanhood? Because another such link existed; and it was at the very heart of their enmity。 Nor; now that Celestine's contempt had freed Jude from reverence; was it difficult to see where their stories intersected。 From the beginning; Celestine had marked Jude out as a woman who stank of coitus。 Why? Because she too stank of coitus。 And this business with the child; which came up again and again: that had the same root。 Celestine had also borne a baby for this dynasty of Gods and demigods。 She too had been used and had never quite e to terms with the fact。 When she raged against Jude; the tainted woman who would not concede her error in being sexual; in being fecund; she was raging against some fault in herself。
And the nature of that fault? It wasn't difficult to guess; or to put words to。 Celestine had asked a plain question。 Now it was Jude's turn。
〃Was it really rape?〃 she said。
Celestine glanced up; her look venomous。 The denial that followed; however; was measured。 〃I'm afraid I don't know what you mean;〃 she said。
〃Well; now;〃 Jude replied; 〃how else can I put it?〃 She paused。 〃Did Sartori's Father take you against your will?〃
The other woman now put on a show of prehension; followed by one of shock。
〃Of course He did;〃 she said。 〃How could you ask such a thing?〃
〃But you knew where you were going; didn't you? I realize Dowd drugged you at the start; but you weren't in a a all the way across the Dominions。 You knew something extraordinary was waiting at the end of the trip。〃
〃I don't…〃
〃Remember? Yes; you do。 You remember every mile of it。 And I don't think Dowd kept his mouth shut all those weeks。 He was pimping for God; and he was proud of it Wasn't he?〃
Celestine offered no riposte。 She simply stared at Jude; daring her to go on; which Jude was happy to do。
〃So he told you what lay ahead; didn't he? He said that you were going to the Holy City and you were going to see the Unbeheld Himself。 Not just see Him but be loved by Him。 And you were flattered;〃
〃It wasn't like that。〃
〃How was it then? Did He have His angels hold you down while He did the deed? No; I don't think so。 You lay there and you let Him do what the hell He wanted; because it was going to make you into the bride of God and the mother of Christ…〃
〃Stop!〃
〃If I'm wrong; tell me how it was。 Tell me you screamed and fought and tried to tear out His eyes。〃
Celestine continued to stare; but said nothing。
〃That's why you despise me; isn't it?〃 Jude went on。 〃That's why I'm the woman who stinks of coitus。 Because I lay down with a piece of the same God that you did; and you don't like to