cb.coldheart canyon-第69节
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year or two some virus had decimated them。
Something about the place in its present condition made him want to leave。 He knew； however； that he couldn't。 Not without paying his respects to the lady of the house。 So rather than wait for her to show herself； he went to look for her； figuring that the sooner he found her the sooner he'd be released from this dream。 He started up the stairs。 There were flies crawling on the ground beneath his feet； so densely assembled and so sluggish that they refused to move as he ascended； obliging him to crush them under his bare feet as he climbed。
The door to the master bedroom was open。 He stepped inside； somewhat tentatively。 He had only been into the room once before。 He remembered it as being large； but here in his dream it was immense。 The drapes were partially drawn； and the sunlight that streamed between them was a curious color； almost lilac。
There was an enormous； but extremely plain； bed in the room。 And sitting on the bed was the only woman； besides his mother； whom Jerry had loved： Katya。 She was naked； or…more correctly stated…unclothed。 Ninety percent of her body's surface was covered with large snails； the mon tortoiseshell variety that every gardener curses。 They were moving all over her skin。 They were on her face； on her breasts and belly； on her thighs and shins。 Her hair was matted with their silvery trails； and thirty or forty of them were arranged on her head like a grotesque crown。 Her legs were open； and they were also investigating the crevice between her thighs。 As is so often the case in dreams he saw all this with horrid particularity。 Saw the way their boneless grey…green bodies extended from their shells as they moved over Katya's skin； their horns extending tentatively as they advanced； then retracting as they encountered an obstacle…a nipple； an ear； the knuckle of her thumb…only to stretch out again when they were certain there was no danger in the encounter。
Without speaking； Katya looked down and very delicately plucked one of the creatures off her breast。 Then she spread her legs a little wider； so that Jerry had an even more intimate view of her private parts。 He was no connoisseur； but even he could see that there was a certain prettiness to the configuration of her labia； she had the pussy of a young girl。 Putting her hands down between her legs she spread her lips and delicately applied the snail she'd taken from her breast the flesh there。
Jerry watched with a kind of appalled fascination as it responded to its new perch； expanding its horns and investigating her。
Katya sighed。 Her eyes fluttered closed。 Then； suddenly； they opened again。 When they did they were fixed on him； with startling fierceness。
〃There you are； Jerry；〃 she said； her voice full of the music he remembered from his childhood： the kind of bitter…sweet music by which he had judged the voice of every woman he'd met since。
Later he'd learned that silent movie stars had been notorious for having voices that precluded them from careers in the sound cinema： but Katya had been one of the exceptions to that rule。 She had the slightest foreign inflection （nothing recognizable； just enough to add a certain poignancy to her sentences）； otherwise she spoke with a beguiling elegance。
〃I need help；〃 she said to him。 〃Jerry； will you e to the house？ Please。 I am alone here。 Utterly alone。〃
〃What happened to Todd？〃 he said to her。
〃He walked out on me。〃
〃I can't believe that。〃
〃Well it's true。 He did。 Are you going to choose between him and me？〃
〃No； of course not。〃
〃He was just another empty shell； Jerry。 There was no substance to him。 And now I'm alone； and it's worse than death。〃
His dream…self was about to get clever and ask her how she could possibly know what death felt like； but then he thought better of asking her。 Perhaps she did indeed know。 It wasn't beyond the bounds of possibility。 He'd never understood exactly how her life had worked； up there in the house in the Canyon； but he suspected there were terrible secrets in that place。
〃What do you want me to do？〃 he asked her。
〃e back up to the Canyon；〃 she said。
That was the end of the dream； at least as he remembered it when he woke。 The image of her body covered with snails disgusted him； of course； especially its sexual details。 Had she conjured that； in dispatching this dream； or had he dug it out of the recesses of his own sub…conscious？ Whichever it was； it had done its duty： making certain he understood the pitiful state she was in。
All through the following day； as he went about his chores…down to the market； back from the market； cooking himself chicken； eating the chicken； washing the plate from which he'd eaten the chicken； talking with Luis； who lived below； about how the apartments all needed painting； and who was going to talk to the manager because it had to be done soon； and so on； and so forth…through all of this he kept thinking about the dream； and whether it was really trying to tell him something or not。 Out of the blue； he said to Luis： 〃Do you believe in dreams？〃
Luis； who was a plump； amicable man who'd been in Christopher Street the night of the Stonewall riots； in full drag； or so he claimed。 〃Like how？〃 he said。 〃Give me an example。〃
〃Like： you have a dream and it seems like it's telling you something。〃
〃Oh yeah。 I've had those。〃
〃And were they？〃
〃Like I had a dream in which my mother told me to get out of this relationship I was in with a guy。 I don't know if you met him。 Ronnie？〃
〃I remember Ronnie。〃
〃Well he was a sonofabitch。 He used to beat me up； he'd get drunk on tequila and beat me up。〃
〃What's this got to do with the dream？〃
〃I told you： my mother said throw him out。 In the dream。 She said throw him out or he'll kill you。〃
〃What did you do？〃
〃I threw him out。 I mean； I was ready to do it anyhow。 The dream just confirmed what I'd been feeling。〃
〃Did he just go？〃
〃No。 He got physical； and we ended up fighting and…〃 Luis pulled up his sleeve； exposing a six inch scar； pale against his mocha skin。 〃It got nasty。〃
〃He did that？〃
〃We were fighting。 And I fell on a glass…topped coffee…table。 I needed sixteen stitches。 By the time I got back from the hospital； the motherfucker had gone。 He'd taken all my shoes。 And they weren't even his size。〃
〃So you do believe in dreams？〃
〃Sure I believe。 Why'd you want to know？〃
〃I'm trying to figure something out。〃
〃Well； you want my opinion？ Dreams can be useful doing that sometimes。 Then again； sometimes they're full of shit。 It depends on the dream。 You know how I know？ My Momma got really sick with pneumonia； and she was in the hospital in New York。 And I had this dream； and she was telling me she was fine； there was no need to spend the money and fly out East； because she was going to get better。 Next day； she was dead。〃
Jerry went back to his apartment and thought about his dream some more； and about what Luis had said。 Gradually； it crept up on him why he was being so reluctant about the decision。 He was afraid that if he went up to （if he sided with Katya； knowing her capacity for cruelty）； it would be the end of him。 He'd seen so many movies in which the queen ended up dead in the second act； superfluous to the real heart of the story。 Wasn't that him？ Hadn't he lived his life at the edge of Katya's grand drama； never important enough to be at the heart of things？ If events in were indeed ing to an end…as it seemed they were…then what was the likelihood of his surviving to the final reel？ Little or none。
And yet； if this was the inescapable truth of his life； then why fight it？ Why lock himself away in his little apartment； watching game…shows and eating frozen dinners for one； when the only drama he'd ever really been a part of was playing out to its conclusion twenty minutes' drive away？ Wasn't that just throwing more time away： waste on waste？
Damn it； he would go。 He'd obey the summons of the dream； and go back to Coldheart Canyon。
This course determined； he set about preparing himself for an audience with the Lady Katya。 He chose something elegant to wear （she liked an elegant man； she'd heard him once say）； his linen suit； his best Italian shoes； a silk tie he'd bought in Barcelona； to add just a touch of color to the otherwise subdued ensemble。 With his clothes chosen； he showered and shaved and then…having worked up a bit of a sweat shaving…showered again。
It was late afternoon by the time he started to get dressed。 It would soon be cocktail hour up in Coldheart Canyon。 Tonight； at least； Katya would not have to drink alone。
TWO
About the time Jerry Brahms had been waking up from his dream of Katya and the snails…which is to say； just half an hour before dawn…Tammy and Todd were slipping…'quietly； quietly；' she kept saying…into the little hotel where Tammy had been staying。 The last few days had provided Tammy with a notable range of unlikely experiences but surely this was up there amongst the weirdest of them…tip…toeing along the corridor of her two…star hotel with one of the most famous celebrities in the world in tow； telling him to hush whenever his heel squeaked on
