rasalvatore.attackoftheclones-第47节

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　it's　very　。　。　。　very　green。　You　know；　with　lots　of　water；　and　trees　and　plants　everywhere。　It's　not　like　here　at　all。〃　She　turned　away　as　soon　as　she　finished；　and　knew　she　was　being　a　bit　rude。　But　all　she　wanted　was　to　be　with　Anakin；　and　so　she　started　loading　the　food　tray。
　〃I　think　I　like　it　here　better；〃　Beru　remarked。
　〃Maybe　you'll　e　and　see　it　someday；〃　Padme　said；　more　to　be　polite　than　anything　else。
　
　But　Beru　answered　seriously。　〃I　don't　think　so。　I　don't　like　to　travel。〃　Padme　picked　up　the　tray　and　turned　to　go。　〃Thanks；　Beru；〃　she　said　with　as　much　of　a　smile　as　she　could　muster。
　
　She　found　Anakin　standing　at　a　workbench　in　the　garage；　working　on　a　part　from　the　speeder　bike。
　〃I　brought　you　something　to　eat。〃
　
　Anakin　glanced　at　her；　but　immediately　went　back　to　his　work。　She　noted　that　he　was　exaggerating　every　movement；　obviously　frustrated；　obviously　distracted　from　the　task　at　hand。　〃The　shifter　broke；〃　he　explained；　too　intently。　〃Life　seems　so　much　simpler　when　you're　fixing　things。　I'm　good　at　fixing　things。　I　always　was。　But　I。。。〃
　
　Finally　he　slammed　down　the　wrench　he　was　using　and　just　stood　there；　head　bowed。
　
　Padme　recognized　that　he　was　on　the　verge　of　collapse。
　〃Why　did　she　have　to　die？〃　he　mouthed　quietly。　Padme　slid　the　tray　down　on　the　workbench　and　moved　behind　him；　putting　her　arms　about　his　waist　and　resting　her　head　fortingly　on　his　back。
　〃Why　couldn't　I　save　her？〃　Anakin　asked。　〃I　know　I　could　have！〃
　〃Annie；　you　tried。〃　She　squeezed　him　a　bit　tighter。　〃Sometimes　there　are　things　no　one　can　fix。　You're　not　all…powerful。〃
　
　He　stiffened　at　her　words　and　pulled　away　from　her　suddenly…and　angrily；　she　realized。　〃But　I　should　be！〃　he　growled；　and　then　he　looked　at　her；　his　face　a　mask　of　grim　determination。　〃And　someday　I　will　be！〃
　〃Anakin；　don't　say　such　things；〃　Padme　replied　fearfully；　but　he　didn't　even　seem　to　hear　her。
　〃I'll　be　the　most　powerful　Jedi　ever！〃　he　railed　on。　〃I　promise　you！　I　will　even　learn　to　stop　people　from　dying！〃
　〃Anakin…〃
　〃It's　all　Obi…Wan's　fault！〃　He　stormed　across　the　room　and　slammed　his　fist　onto　the　workbench　again；　nearly　dislodging　the　plate　of　food。　〃He　put　me　out　of　the　way。〃
　〃To　guard　me；〃　she　said　quietly。
　〃I　should　have　been　out　with　him；　hunting　the　assassins！　I'd　have　had　them　a　long　time　ago；　and　would've　gotten　here　in　time　and　my　mother　would　still　be　alive！〃
　〃You　can't　know…〃
　〃He's　jealous　of　me；〃　Anakin　rambled　on；　paying　no　attention　to　her　at　all。　He　wasn't　talking　to　her；　she　realized；　but　was　just　playing　it　all　out　verbally　for　himself。　She　could　hardly　believe　what　she　was　hearing。　〃He　put　me　out　of　the　way　because　he　knows　that　I'm　already　more　powerful　than　he　is。　He's　holding　me　back！〃
　
　He　finished　by　picking　up　his　wrench　and　throwing　it　across　the　garage；　where　it　smashed　against　a　far　wall　and　clattered　down　among　some　spare　parts。
　〃Anakin；　what's　wrong？〃　she　cried　at　him。
　
　Her　volume　and　tone　finally　got　his　attention。　〃I　just　told　you！〃
　〃No！〃　Padme　yelled　back　at　him。　〃No。　What's　really　wrong？〃　Anakin　just　stared　at　her；　and　she　knew　that　she　was　on　to　something。
　〃I　know　it　hurts；　Anakin。　But　this　is　more　than　that。　What's　really　wrong？〃
　
　He　just　stared　at　her。
　〃Annie？〃
　
　His　body　seemed　to　shrink　then；　and　slump　forward　just　a　bit。　〃I　。。。　I　killed　them；〃　he　admitted；　and　if　Padme　hadn't　run　to　him　and　grabbed　him　close；　he　would　have　fallen　over。　〃I　killed　them　all；〃　he　admitted。
　〃They're　dead。　Every　single　one　of　them。〃
　
　He　looked　at　her　then；　and　it　seemed　to　her　as　if　he　had　suddenly　returned　to　her　from　somewhere　far；　far　away。
　〃You　did　battle　。　。　。〃　she　started　to　reason。
　
　He　ignored　her。　〃Not　just　the　men；〃　he　went　on。　〃And　the　men　are　the　only　fighters　among　the　Tuskens。　No；　not　just　them。　The　women　and　the　children；　too。〃　His　face　contorted；　as　if　he　was　teetering　between　anger　and　guilt。
　〃They're　like　animals！〃　he　said　suddenly。　〃And　I　slaughtered　them　like　animals！　I　hate　them！〃
　
　Padme　sat　back　a　bit；　too　stunned　to　respond。　She　knew　that　Anakin　needed　her　to　say　something　or　do　something；　but　she　was　paralyzed。　He　wasn't　even　looking　at　her…he　was　just　staring　off　into　the　distance。　But　then　he　lowered　his　head　and　began　to　sob；　his　lean；　strong　shoulders　shaking。　Padme　pulled　him　in　and　hugged　him　close；　never　wanting　to　let　go。　She　still　didn't　know　what　to　say。
　〃Why　do　I　hate　them？〃　Anakin　asked　her。
　〃Do　you　hate　them；　or　do　you　hate　what　they　did　to　your　mother？〃
　〃I　hate　them！〃　he　insisted。
　〃And　they　earned　your　anger；　Anakin。〃
　
　He　looked　up　at　her；　his　eyes　wet　with　tears。　〃But　it　was　more　than　that；〃　he　started　to　say；　and　then　he　shook　his　head　and　buried　his　face　against　the　softness　of　her　breast。
　
　A　moment　later；　he　looked　back　up；　his　expression　showing　that　he　was　determined　to　explain。　〃I　didn't　。。。　I　couldn't。。。〃　He　held　one　hand　up　outstretched；　then　clenched　it　into　a　fist。　〃I　couldn't　control　myself；〃　he　admitted。　〃I　。。。　I　don't　want　to　hate　them…I　know　that　there　is　no　place　for　hatred。　But　I　just　can't　forgive　them！〃
　〃To　be　angry　is　to　be　human；〃　Padme　assured　him。
　〃To　control　your　anger　is　to　be　a　Jedi；〃　Anakin　was　quick　to　reply；　and　he　pulled　away　from　her　and　stood　up；　turning　to　face　the　open　door　and　the　desert　beyond。
　
　Padme　was　right　there　beside　him；　draping　her　arms　about　him。　〃Shhh；〃　she　said　softly。　She　kissed　him　gently　on　the　cheek。　〃You're　human。〃
　〃No；　I'm　a　Jedi。　I　know　I'm　better　than　this。〃　He　looked　at　her　directly；　shaking　his　head。　〃I'm　sorry。　I'm　so　sorry。〃
　〃You're　like　everybody　else；〃　Padme　said。　She　tried　to　draw　closer；　but　Anakin　held　himself　back　from　her。
　
　He　couldn't　hold　the　pose　of　defiance　for　long；　though；　before　he　broke　down　again　in　sobs。
　
　Padme　was　there　to　hold　him　and　rock　him　and　tell　him　that　everything　would　be　all　right。
　
　　Obi…Wan　Kenobi　slumped　back　in　the　seat　of　his　starfighter；　shaking　his　head　in　frustration。　It　had　taken　him　a　long　while　to　extract　himself　safely　from　the　factory　city；　and　when　he　had　at　last　found　his　starfighter；　he　had　thought　the　adventure　over。　But　not　so。　〃The　transmitter　is　working；〃　he　told　R4；　who　tootled　his　agreement。　〃But　we're　not　receiving　a　return　signal。　Coruscant's　too　far。〃　He　spun　to　face　the　droid。　〃Can　you　boost　the　power？〃
　
　The　beeps　that　came　back　at　him　were　not　forting。
　〃Okay；　then　we'll　have　to　try　something　else。〃　Obi…Wan　looked　around　for　an　answer。　He　didn't　want　to　lift　off　from　the　planet　and　risk　detection；　but　so　far　out　and　within　the　heavy　and　metallic　Geonosian　atmosphere；　he　had　no　chance　of　reaching　distant　Coruscant。
　〃Naboo　is　closer；〃　he　said　suddenly；　and　R4　beeped。　〃Maybe　we　can　contact　Anakin　and　get　the　information　relayed。〃
　
　R4　replied　with　enthusiasm　and　Obi…Wan　climbed　back　out　of　the　cockpit　to　repeat　the　message　with　the　changes　for　Anakin。
　
　A　few　moments　later；　though；　the　droid　signaled　him　that　something　was　wrong。
　
　With　a　frustrated　growl；　the　Jedi　climbed　back　up　into　the　cockpit。
　〃How　can　he　not　be　on　Naboo？〃　he　asked；　and　R4　gave　an　〃oooo。〃　　Rather　than　argue　with　a　droid；　Obi…Wan　checked　the　instruments　himself。　Sure　enough；　Anakin's　signal　was　not　to　be　found　ing　from　Naboo。
　〃Anakin？　Anakin？　Do　you　copy？　This　is　Obi…Wan　Kenobi？〃　he　said；　lifting　his　ship　m　directly　and　shooting　the　call　out　toward　the　general　area　of　Naboo。
　
　After　several　minutes　with　no　response；　the　Jedi　put　the　m　back　down　and　turned　to　R4。　〃He's　not　on　Naboo；　Arfour。　I'm　going　to　try　to　widen　the　search。　I　hope　nothing's　happened　to　him。〃
　
　He　sat　back　as　the　minutes　slipped　past。　He　knew　that　he　was　losing　precious　time；　but　his　choices　were　limited。　He　couldn't　head　back　to　the　city　and　risk　capture；　not　with　so　much　vital　news　to　relay　to　the　Jedi　Council；　nor　did　he　want　to　blast　away；　for　the　same　reasons。　He　still　had　so　much　to　learn　here。
　
　So　he　waited；　and　finally；　some　time　later；　R4　tootled　emphatically。　Obi…　Wan　moved　to　the　controls；　his　eyes　widening　as　he　got　the　confirmation。
　〃That's　Anakin's　tracking　signal　all　right；　but　it's　ing　from　Tatooine！　What　in　the　blazes　is　he　doing　there？　I　told　him　to　stay　on　Naboo！〃　R4　gave　another　〃oooo。〃
　〃All　right；　we're　all　set…we'll　get　these　answers　later。〃　He　climbed　back　out　of　the　cockpit　and　jumped　to　the　ground。　〃Transmit；　Arfour。　We　haven't　much　time。〃
　
　The　droid　locked　on　to　him　immediately。
　〃Anakin？〃　Obi…Wan　asked。　〃Anakin；　do　you　copy？　This　is　Obi…Wan　Kenobi。〃　R4　relayed　the　response；　a　series　of　beeps　and　whistles　that　the　R4…P　didn't　normally　use；　but　ones　quite　familiar　to　Obi…Wan。
　〃Artoo？　Good；　are　you　reading　me　clearly？〃
　
　The　whistle　came　back　affirmative。
　〃Record　this　message　and　take　it　to　the　Jedi　Skywalker；〃　Obi…Wan　instructed　the　distant　droid。
　
　Another　affirmative　beep。
　〃Anakin；　my　long…range　transmitter　is　knocked　out。　Retransmit　this　message　to　Coruscant。〃
　
　The　Jedi　began　to　tell　his　tale　then。　He　didn't　know　that　the　Geonosians　had　picked　up　his　signal　broadcasts　and　had　triangulated　those　receptions　to　locate　his　starfighter。　Wound　up　in　his　tale；　he　didn't　not