dclegg.purity-第14节

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I　know　how　cold　you　are　on　the　inside。　I　know　how　you　believe　different　things。〃　He　felt　her　closing　in　on　him　as　she　moved　toward　him。　〃What　exactly　is　this　thing？　Is　this　a　toy？　Is　this　something　else？　Is　this　something　you　talk　to？　Is　this。。。is　this。。。some　kind　of　devil　god？　Do　you　worship　graven　images　now？〃　She　said　it　in　a　half…joking　manner；　and　that　was　the　worst　of　it。　She　wasn't　taking　Dagon　seriously。　He　could　feel　it　in　her　tone。
　Owen　felt　as　if　his　tongue　had　been　cut　out。　He　felt　a　heat　rash　along　his　neck。　He　looked　from　the　statue　to　his　mother　and　back　again。　Then；　he　grinned。　〃Don't　be　ridiculous。　You　have　such　a　small　mind。　You're　so　quick　to　judge　me　when　you　yourself　are　the　one　with　the　cold　heart。　You　set　a　trap　for　dad　and　now　you　punish　him　for　that　same　trap。　You　can't　even　love　your　only　child。　And　your　imagination　…　your　paranoid　imagination　…　finding　some　carved　art　in　a　koi　pond；　something　that　you　claim　you　watched　me　bleed　over；　did　you　ever　for　a　moment　think　that　perhaps　I　hated　myself　so　much　that　I　wanted　to　slit　my　wrists？　But　something　made　me　stop。　Something　kept　me　from　hurting　myself。　But　it　wasn't　the　thought　of　you；　was　it？　It　wasn't　the　love　of　my　mother　that　saved　me；　was　it？　It　was　the　thought　that　maybe　one　day　I'd　have　a　moment　just　like　this。　A　moment　when　dad　is　out　of　the　house。
　A　moment　when　you're　at　your　worst。　And　then；　do　you　know　what　I　am　going　to　do　with　you？〃
　〃What　are　you　talking　about？　Owen？　Owen？〃
　〃Give　me　that；〃　he　said；　snatching　it　from　her　hand。　〃It's　mine。　Not　yours。〃
　She　stood　before　him；　trembling。
　Owen　cradled　Dagon　in　his　arms。　He　closed　his　eyes；　and　whispered　a　brief　prayer。
　When　he　opened　them；　he　said；　〃Here　is　something　I　hope　you　think　about　until　the　moment　you　die。　I　am　going　to　be　your　dutiful　son　as　long　as　your　years　continue。　But　the　moment　that　I　get　an　inkling　that　you　are　old　and　feeble；　I　will　e　to　your　bedside　one　night；　and　I　will　press　my　hands　over　your　nose　and　mouth　until　you　smother　to　death。　And　in　those　last　moments；　you　will　look　on　me　and　know　that　everything　you　were　ever　afraid　of　was　true。〃
　His　mother　pressed　her　hands　to　her　lips；　but　was　unable　to　speak。
　It　was　the　power　of　Dagon；　of　course。　It　was　there；　in　the　room。
　The　god　was　there　with　him。
　Dagon　whispered　within　his　blood；　〃You　will　die　like　the　bitch　that　you　are。〃
　Or　had　Owen　himself　said　it　aloud；　in　a　whisper；　to　his　mother？
　2
　This　is　how　it　will　happen；　the　voice　came　to　him。　You　will　tell　her　things。　You　will　tell　him　things。　He　harbors　a　madness。　He　is　breakable。　Then；　she　will　kill　him。　You　will　save　her。　She　will　kill　him　and　you　will　have　her。
　He　slept　that　night　with　Dagon　next　to　him　in　bed；　and　dreamed　of　the　great　realm　beneath　the　sea；　and　he　no　longer　felt　his　age；　but　felt　as　if　he　were　again　a　child；　and　Jenna　was　with　him；　the　Queen　of　the　Deepest　Fathom。
　3
　〃Hello　sweetie；〃　Mrs。　M　said。　She　had　just　finished　the　Sunday　crossword　puzzle；　and　looked　up　from　the　paper。　〃You　all　ready　for　four　more　days　of　this。。。this　tempest？〃　The　kitchen　was　like　a　brilliant　day　pared　to　the　murky　rain　outdoors。
　Owen　had　e　in　through　the　back；　his　towel　in　his　arms。　〃Up　for　a　swim；　Cathy？〃
　Mrs。　M　shook　her　head。　〃Feeling　a　bit　downtrodden　from　the　rain。　Ask　Frank；　he'd　probably　love　a　race　with　you。〃
　〃Mr。　M's　around？〃
　〃He's　enjoying　the　summer　here　after　all。〃
　〃That's　great。　I　would've　thought　with　the　rain。。。〃
　Mrs。　M　didn't　seem　to　notice　his　ment。　She　crossed　her　legs；　one　over　the　other；　and　Owen　thought　for　a　moment　that　it　was　the　most　luxurious　movement　he　had　ever　in　his　life　seen。　〃You　here　for　Jenna？〃
　〃I　doubt　she　wants　to　see　me。〃
　〃Owen；〃　Mrs。　M　said；　setting　the　paper　down　on　the　kitchen　table。　She　arched　an　eyebrow。　〃Something's　changed　about　you。　What　is　it？　Turn　around。〃
　Dutifully；　he　turned　about　and　then　back　to　face　her　again。
　〃You're　different　now。　What's　that　all　about？〃　She　said　it　with　a　sweet　amazement。　〃Are　you　in　love？〃
　〃No；〃　he　said；　too　quickly。
　〃Jenna's　in　her　room。　She　sleeps　later　and　later。　Go　call　her　if　you　want。
　She　should　get　up。　It's　nearly　ten。　No　one　should　sleep　this　late。　Not　at　her　age。　Not　in　summer。〃　Then；　Mrs。　M　leaned　forward；　her　breasts　dropping　slightly　out　of　her　robe。　〃Between　you；　me；　and　the　wall；　Owen；　I　think　she's　really　depressed　over　something。　But　I'm　the　last　person　she'll　confide　in。　I　imagine　it's　about　a　boy；〃　she　whispered。　〃That　McTeague　character。〃
　Then；　she　said；　lightly；　〃I　always　thought　there　was　something　not　right　about　him。〃
　4
　〃Oh。　It's　you；〃　Jenna　said。　She　was　sitting　up　in　her　bed；　the　covers　around　her　white　cotton　nightgown。
　〃Hi；〃　he　said　from　the　doorway。　The　room　smelled　of　sandalwood　and　vanilla。
　〃It's　the　rain。　It　does　this　to　me；〃　she　said；　wiping　her　hair　back　from　her　face。　〃I　hate　storms。〃　She　added；　idly；　almost　as　if　he　wasn't　listening；　〃It's　like　my　summer　got　stolen。〃
　He　remembered　the　love　that　he　had　nearly　forgotten。　He　remembered　why　he　loved　Jenna　so　much。　She　was　there　for　him；　always。　She　had　always　been　there　for　him。
　〃Okay　if　I　e　in？　You　know；　like　I　used　to？〃
　〃Sure；〃　she　said；　drawing　her　knees　up。　Then；　〃What　is　it　between　you　two？〃
　He　went　into　the　bedroom；　and　sat　down　on　the　chair　near　her　desk。
　〃Who　two？〃
　〃Don't　be　coy；〃　she　said　unpleasantly。　〃Jimmy。　Is　it　just　sex？〃
　〃Oh。　That。〃
　〃Yes。　That。〃
　〃I　don't　want　to　talk　about　it。〃
　〃I　think　you　do。〃
　〃No；　I　really　don't。〃　And　then；　something　within　him　opened　up。　It　was　like　feeling　a　heat　…　a　fire　…　in　his　chest；　near　his　heart。　It　was　Dagon。
　Dagon　would　inspire　him。　He　felt　that　strength；　suddenly；　just　when　he　thought　he　would　falter。　Without　even　trying；　tears　poured　from　his　eyes。
　〃Owen？　Owen？〃　she　asked；　but　he　was　nearly　blind　from　the　tears。　She　lifted　the　blanket；　and　patted　a　space　next　to　her。　〃e　here。　What's　wrong？
　Owen？〃
　He　bawled　like　a　baby；　and　without　knowing　who　…　or　what　…　had　moved　him；　he　found　himself　in　her　bed；　her　arms　around　him。
　〃Aw；　Owen；　what's　wrong？　What's　wrong　my　precious；　precious；　precious　baby　boy？〃　She　held　him　close；　and　Dagon　was　there。　He　felt　it。　He　was　not　alone。
　Dagon　was　there。
　The　voice　that　came　from　his　throat　didn't　feel　like　his。　It　was　some　small　boy's。　Some　crybaby　who　shivered　and　spilled　emotion　across　the　girl　he　loved。
　〃He。。。I　didn't。。。I　didn't　want。。。I　can't　talk　about。。。I　didn't。。。he　just　kept。。。he　just　kept。。。he　kept。。。he。。。I　tried　to。。。fight。。。fight。。。fight。。。push。。。hit。。。but。。。he　just　kept。。。　he　just　kept。。。he　just　kept。〃
　〃Oh　my　god；〃　Jenna　said；　her　voice　chilled　and　haunted。　〃No。　He　didn't。　No。　Did　he？　Owen？　Did　he　rape　you？　Did　he？〃
　〃He　just　kept。。。oh　god；　Jenna；　I　can't　face　this。。。I　wanted　to。。。I　wanted　to。。。I　wanted　to。。。kill。。。myself。。。I　wanted　to。。。〃
　And　so　it　began；　and　she　said　all　the　things　that　she　was　meant　to　say；　and　Owen　told　less　than　he　needed　to　tell；　because　she　made　the　connections　herself；　and　he　sat　with　her　for　hours　in　her　arms；　and　then；　they　made　love。
　5
　He　went　to　the　boat　that　night。
　It　was　over　now。　It　was　all　over。　Dagon　was　still　within　him；　and　he　had　won。
　He　wanted　to　take　it　to　Jimmy。　He　wanted　Jimmy　to　suffer　from　it。　If　he　could；　he　would've　videotaped　the　afternoon；　he　would've　tape…recorded　Jenna's　voice　saying　over　and　over　again　that　she　loved　him；　that　it　was　all　her　fault；　that　Jimmy　should　never　have　e　to　the　island；　that　he　was　bad；　he　was　evil；　and　they　should　call　the　police；　they　should　do　something。　She　even　told　him　that　if　that　bastard　ever　set　foot　on　her　property　again；　she　would　take　that　gun　and　shoot　him　right　between　the　eyes。
　The　storm　continued　to　rage；　but　in　muted　anger；　across　the　gray　mood　of　sky。　The　Sound　and　the　distant　islands　that　could　be　seen　were　like　watercolor　images；　fuzzy　and　melting　in　the　rain。　Owen　wore　a　bright　yellow　raincoat　that　belonged　to　his　father。　He　was　a　fire　in　the　darkness。
　〃Mooncalf；　you　look　like　a　fisherman；〃　Jimmy　said。　He　wore　cut…off　jeans　and　a　striped　rugby　shirt　that　was　already　soaked　through；　and　his　hair　was　like　seaweed；　hanging　in　his　eyes。　In　his　hand；　a　green　bottle　of　beer。　〃Like；　you　know；　a　real　New　England　Clam　Chowder　Fisherman！〃　He　had　to　shout　over　a　roll　of　thunder　and　a　crack　in　the　sky；　then　the　world　lit　up　for　a　moment；　it　returned　to　gray。
　Owen　laughed；　shaking　his　head。　〃You're　drunk；　boy。〃
　〃Want　a　beer？〃　Jimmy　asked。
　〃Sure；〃　Owen　said。　〃How　many　you　drink　already？〃
　〃Four。　Maybe　five。　Who's　counting？〃
　〃Let's　get　out　of　the　rain！〃
　〃I　like　the　jetty；〃　Jimmy　said；　tossing　him　a　small　bottle　and　then　leaping　to　the　dock。　He　grabbed　Owen's　free　hand。　〃No　one's　looking。　We　can　hold　hands；　all　right？〃
　〃I　don't　know。〃　Owen　tugged　away。　He　twisted　the　top　off　the　Rolling　Rock　bottle；　and　took　a　swig。　〃God；　I'm　sick　of　rain！〃
　〃Me；　too！〃　Jimmy　tried　to　kiss　him；　but　Owen　stepped　back　to　avoid　it。
　The　rain　lightened　slightly；　it　was　a　warm　rain；　it　washed　across　their　bodies。　〃She's　sort　of　expecting　us；〃　Owen　said。
　〃Who？〃
　〃Jenna。〃
　〃Jenna？〃　Jimmy　laughed；　and　then　looked　sidelong　up　the　hill　to　the　Montgomery　place。　〃What　for？　I　thought　it　was　you　a