dclegg.purity-第13节
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6
Owen lay back in the grass and closed his eyes to the sun。 As the violet darkness of his inner mind grew； he began to see the shadow sea of Dagon's realm。 From the dusky waves； a form emerged； a magnificent sea god； its eyes round and without mind； like those of a shark； its body slick as oil with thousands of fins sprouting along its back； and as it grew； Owen knew what the god asked of him。
7
〃I said peel the potatoes；〃 his mother said； but he could see the look in her eyes。 His mother was afraid of him。 A little。 Just a little fear。 That was good。
〃Don't use that tone of voice with me；〃 Owen said almost politely； as he lifted the first potato and brought it to the small sharp knife。
〃Something's missing in the house；〃 she said； but his mother had begun saying strange things for the past few weeks … sentences that didn't go together； phrases that meant something only in her mind。
〃You probably misplaced whatever it is；〃 he told her almost nonchalantly。 〃You've always been like that； haven't you？〃
8
And then； the storm came。
When storms e to Outerbridge； they usually have lost most of their power； they usually have been downgraded from hurricanes by the time they hit Bermuda to Tropical Storms when they reach Long Island； and by the time they make it past Block Island and start heading to the Avalons； it's usually high winds and warm rains but not much damage。 The islanders who are over sixty remember the storm of '53 that 〃took the hats off houses；〃 as they said； and generally made a mess of the summer homes。
The storm that arrived the last week of August was not a terror； nor did it threaten to take the hats off houses。 It was a warm palace of rain and wind and it changed the geometry of the island with its shifts and movements。
The sky became a hardened gray； and the rain was constant； and the koi pond overflowed。 Owen ran outside with his father； newspapers curled over their heads； to try and save the fish as they flip…flopped along the mud and grass； their patchwork colors seeming to melt beneath the downpour。
9
Owen was on his way to work； using his father's truck to get to the Salty Dog； when he saw the figure standing in the pouring rain of afternoon down by the docks。 Owen pulled the truck to the edge of the road and parked。 He got out in the rain； opening his dark umbrella。 The smell of fish was overpowering … it was a stink he was used to； but with the storm it was worse。
Jimmy looked otherworldly： he wore a shiny parka； and his face was pale beneath it。 He nearly galloped over to Owen； and reached out to touch him on the shoulder； but Owen pulled back。 Owen slammed the truck door shut。
〃I'm going to work；〃 Owen said。
〃Mooncalf？〃
〃Leave me alone。〃
〃I thought you … 〃
〃You thought wrong。〃
〃I've been waiting for you。 At the boat。 Every night； I watch you leave the restaurant and walk home。 Every night I wish you'd e to me。〃
〃You disgust me。〃
〃Stop it。 I know that's not true。〃 Jimmy's shoulders began heaving。 The sound of the rain became thunderous and sheets and blocks of it seemed to dump right down around them。 〃God。 God！〃 Jimmy cried out； his arms going up to the sky like some clown； like some revival preacher clown； the rain pouring against his face。 A thunderclap hid the sound of his bleating。 〃If only you knew！ If only you could grow up inside me！ Knowing how I've been pushed and pulled； first my father forcing me into tennis and basketball and soccer since I was six years old； the camps I've gone to every summer； and these schools I go to； and what it all means when inside。。。inside Owen。。。you know something about yourself that's like a doorway into a different world。
Something that's like。。。I don't know。。。like a doorway out of this torture place and into this garden。 When I was nine I had this garden that I helped create。
It had vegetables and flowers in it； nothing pretty and nothing special； but it was mine。 My dad dug it up in the middle of the night。
He dug it up and told me that no son of his was going to be a goddamn gardener。 That's what this feels like。 Like someone is trying to dig up the garden I need to grow。 And you know you need to go to that garden but every single human being from your mother to your father to your coaches to your teachers to your friends to even strangers … every single human being … wants you to keep away from the one garden where you know you can just help things grow and where you'll feel calm for once in your life。。。where you will feel that what you have known inside your body； inside your heart； inside your mind； is the way God and nature and whatever it is that moves things within any human being … meant for you to be。〃
Owen nearly gasped when Jimmy had finished。
〃Jim； Christ； I know；〃 Owen said； feeling as if he'd rehearsed the lines。
He attempted a feeble smile。 Part of him felt removed from within his body。
He was watching himself … Owen … react； seem gentle； seem kind。 〃It's just like that。〃 Then； he looked around at the tourists ing off the ferry； their black and clear and red and green umbrellas all blossoming above their heads； and there； beyond the Crab Shack were six of the island guys he'd grown up with； and when he looked through the thick rain； he saw other people he had known all his life。
〃Look； we can't do this here；〃 Owen said。 〃Get in the truck。〃
10
Owen drove in silence through a rain…shattered world … and followed the slick black island roads until they were nearly to the Great Salt Pond。
Jimmy seemed content with the quiet of the drive。 When Owen glanced over； he noticed that Jimmy pressed his forehead against the window beside him； reminding him somehow of a puppy。 Finally； they came to the end of road…
break that looked out over the enormous pond。 When he'd turned off the ignition； Owen reached over and took Jimmy's hand in his。
〃I know。 It's difficult；〃 Jimmy said。 〃I'm not like this either。 Not really。
There are things I want out of life。 Things that have nothing to do with this。
But right now； Christ； right now； this is it。〃
〃Other people can do this kind of thing； but I can't。 It wouldn't be right。〃
〃No； it wouldn't be。 But we can go somewhere where it'll all be all right。〃
〃Where？〃 Owen laughed。 〃Where would it be right？ My god。 Where？〃
Jimmy recoiled as if he'd been slapped。 〃Out to sea。 In the boat。〃
〃For how long； Jimmy？ How long before your dad cuts you off； or before we move on？ How long before you need to go off to your Ivy League school and then marry and meanwhile； I live in some kind of shame on this island。 I'm not like you。 I'm not like the kind of men who do this with other men。 I'm just。。。Just。〃
〃Just？〃
〃Just not sure what I feel right now。〃
It was easy to lie once Owen knew what he would do with Jimmy。 How he would destroy him。 How it would go easy once everything was in place。
〃Oh； baby；〃 Jimmy moaned； leaning over； into him； pressing his scalp against Owen's neck。 Owen felt wetness along his throat。 〃You don't know how long I've hoped you'd say it。〃
〃We don't need Jenna do we？ Or girls like her；〃 Owen whispered。
〃God； if I could； I'd kill her。〃
〃Who？ Kill？〃
〃I didn't mean that；〃 Owen said； and kissed him on the top of his head。
The rain beat down in great sheets around the truck； and the great clouds roiled； and Owen knew that he had him now。
He had Jimmy right where he wanted him。
Where Dagon wanted him。
Chapter Eight
Dagon
1
〃Owen？〃 his mother asked； holding it in her hand。 The statue。 It had always seemed enormous to him； but in her hand； it was only a foot in length。
The base was cracked； some of its teeth had fallen out； and all it was； after all； in her hand； was something that someone had carved and had left behind。
〃Where'd you get that？〃
〃Where you left it；〃 she said。 She hefted it in her hand。 〃Where did it e from？〃
〃I。。。I found it。〃
〃You found it？〃
〃Yeah； I did。 It's mine。〃 He held his hand out。
〃Did you buy it？〃
〃That's none of your business；〃 he said。 〃That's mine。〃
〃Why did you put it in the fish pond？〃
〃It's an ornament。 It looked nice there。 Give it back。〃
〃It's terrible looking。 It's eyes。 The skin on it。 Who… ever made that thing was sick。 I think some kind of animal was used。 It smells； too。〃
〃Mother。〃
〃Don't mother me。 You may be a young man； but you have a thing or two to learn。 I know you； Owen。 I know how you think。 I saw you that morning。〃
〃What are you talking about？〃
〃I saw you。 You cut your arm and let it bleed on this。。。this thing。〃
〃That's crazy。 Why would I do something crazy like that？ Like … what … like cut myself？ And what … did you say … bleed？〃
〃It's some kind of awful thing； isn't it？ This thing。 It's some awful thing for you。 The way your mind works。〃 She looked at the small statue in her hand； and then back at his face。 She squinted as if trying to see him more clearly。 〃You've never been quite right。 You know that； too。 You know how you're different from other boys； don't you？ Yes； you're crafty and you look good in a suit and you can make your muscles talk for you。 But I know you better than you know yourself； Owen Crites。 I know how cold you are on the inside。 I know how
