the stainless steel rat-第20节
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f fruit so ripe for plucking。 A heady mixture of the old and the new。 In the old； caste…ridden； feudalistic Freibur a stranger would have been instantly recognized and watched。 On the modern League planets puters； mechanization； robots and an ever…vigilant police force left very little room for illegal operations。 It was only when these two different cultures are mixed and merged that imaginative operations became really possible。
This planet was peaceful enough； you had to give the League societies experts credit for that much。 Before they brought in the first antibiotic pill or punch…card puter； they saw to it that law and order were firmly instituted。 Nevertheless the opportunities were still there if you knew where to look。 Angelina knew where to look and so did I。
Exceptafter weeks of futile investigationI finally faced the brutal fact that we were both looking for different things。 I can't deny the time was spent pleasantly since I uncovered countless opportunities for fine jobs and lucrative capers。 If it hadn't been for the pressure of finding Angelina I do believe I could have had the time of my life in this crook ' s paradise。 This pleasure was denied me because the pressure to catch up with Angelina nagged at me constantly like an aching tooth。
Finding intuition wanting I tried mechanical means。 Hiring the best puter available； I fed entire libraries into its memory circuits and set it countless problems。 In the course of this kilowatt consuming business I became an expert on the economy of Freibur； but in the end was no closer to finding Angelina than I had been when I started。 She had a driving urge for power and control； but I had no idea in what way it would find its outlet。 There were many economic solutions I turned up for grabbing the reins of Freibur society； but investigation showed that she was involved in none of these。 The KingVillelm IXseemed the obvious pressure point for actual physical control of the planet。 A plete investigation of Vill； his family and close royal relatives； turned up some juicy scandal but no Angelina。 I was stopped dead。
While drowning my sorrows in a bottle of distilled spirits the solution to this dilemma finally struck me。 Admittedly I was sodden with drink at the time； yet the paralysis of my neural axons was undoubtedly the source of the idea。 Any man that says he thinks better drunk than sober is a fool。 But this was a different case altogether。 I was feeling； not thinking； and my anger at her escape cracked the lid off my more civilized impulses。 I choked a pillow to death imagining it was her neck and finally shouted； 〃Crazy； crazy； that's her trouble； all the way around the bend and dotty as polka…dots！〃 When I fell onto the bed everything swooped around and around in sickening circles and I mumbled； 〃Just plain crazy。 I would have to be crazy myself to figure out which way she will jump next。〃 With this my eyes closed and I fell asleep。 While the words swam down through the alcohol…saturated layers until they reached a deeper level where a spark of rationality still dwelled。
When they hit bottom I was wide…awake and sitting up in bed； struck dumb by the ghastly truth。 I would require all the conviction I hadand a little moreto do it。
I would have to follow her down the path of insanity if I wanted to find her。
Chapter 13
In the cold light of morning the idea didn't look any more attractiveor any less true。 I could do it； or not do it； as I chose。 There could be no doubting the wild tinge of insanity that colored Angelina's life。 Every one of our contacts had been marked by a ruthless indifference to human life。 She killed with coldness or with pleasureas when she had shot mebut always with total disregard for people。 I doubt if even she had any idea of how many murders she had mitted in her lifetime。 By her standards I was a rank amateur。 I hadn't killed more thanthat kind of violence was rarely necessary in my type of operationsurely no more than 。 。 。 none？
Well； wellold chicken…hearted revealed at last。 Rough and tough diGriz the Killer who never killed！ It was nothing to be ashamed of； quite the opposite in fact。 I placed a value on human life； the one unchanging value in existence。 Angelina valued herself and her desires； and nothing else。 To follow her down the twisted path of her own making I would have to place myself in the same mental state that she lived in。
This is not as difficult as it soundsat least in theory。 I have had some experience with the psychotomimetic drugs and was well aware of their potency。 Centuries of research have produced drugs that can simulate any mental condition in the user。 Like to be paranoid for a day？ Take a pill。 You too can go around the bend； friend。 It is a matter of record that people have actually tried these concoctions for kicks； but that bored with life I don't want to be。 There would have to be a lot stronger reason before I would subject my delicate gray cells to this kind of jarring around。 Like finding Angelina； for instance。
About the only good thing about these pixilation producers is the accepted fact that the effects are only temporary。 When the drug wears off so do the hallucinations。 I hoped。 Nowhere in the texts I studied did they mention a devil's brew such as the one I was concocting。 It was a laborious task hunting down all of Angelina's fascinating symptoms in the textbooks and trying to fit them to an inclusive psychotic pattern。 I even called in some professional help to aid in analyzing her case； not mentioning； of course； to what use I intended to put the information。 In the end I had a bottle of slightly smoky liquid and a taped recording of autohypnotic suggestions to play into my ears while the shot was taking effect。 All that remained was screwing my courage to the sticking…place as they say in the classics。 Not really all that remainedI wanted to take some precautions first。 I rented a room in a cheap hotel and left orders not to be disturbed at any time。 This was the first time I had ever tried this particular type of nonsense and since I had no idea of how foggy my memory would be I left a few notes around to remind me of the job。 After a half day of this kind of preparation I realized I was making excuses。
〃Well it's not easy to deliberately go insane；〃 I told my rather pale reflection in the mirror。 The reflection agreed but that didn't stop either of us from rolling up our sleeves and filling large hypodermic needles with murky madness。
〃Here's looking at you；〃 I said； and slipped the needle gently in the vein and slowly pushed the plunger home。
The results were anticlimactic to say the least。 Outside of a ringing in my ears and a twinge of headache that quickly passed I felt nothing。 I knew better than to go out though； so I read the newspaper for a while； until I felt tired。 The whole thing seemed a little foolish and pretty much of a letdown。 I went to sleep with the tape player whispering softly in my ears such ego…building epigrams as； 〃You are better than everyone else and you know it； and people who don't know it had better watch out；〃 and 〃They are all fools and if you were in charge things would be different； and why aren't you in charge； it's easy enough。〃
Waking up was unfortable because of the pain in my ears where the earphones were still plugged in； my own stupid voice droning away at me。 Nothing had changed and the whole futile experiment was a waste and waste makes me angry。 The earphones broke in my hands and I felt better； felt much better still when I had stamped the tape player into a tangle of rubble。
My face rasped when I ran my hand over it； I had been days without a shave。 Rubbing in the dip cream I looked into the mirror over the sink and an odd fact struck me for the first time。 This new face fined me a lot better than the old one。 A fault of birth or the ugliness of my parentswhom I hated deeply； the only right thing they ever did was to produce mehad given me a face that didn't fit my personality。 The new one was better； handsomer for one thing and a lot stronger。 I should have thanked that fumble…finger quack Vulff for producing a masterpiece。 I should have thanked him with a bullet。 That would guarantee that no one would ever be able to trace me through him。 It must have been a warm day and I was suffering a fever when I let him get safely away like that。
On the table was a piece of paper with a single word written on it； my own handwriting though I can't imagine why the hell I left it there。 Angelina it said。 Angelina； how I would love to get that tender white throat between my hands and squeeze until your eyeballs popped。 Hah！ I had to laugh at the thought； made a funny picture indeed。 Yet I shouldn't be so flippant about it。 Angelina was important。 I was going to find her and nothing was going to stop me。 She had made a fool of me and had tried to kill me。 If anyone deserved to die it was her。 It was an awful waste in some ways yet it had to be done。 I shredded the note into fine pieces。
All at once the room was very oppressing and I wanted out。 What made me doubly angry was the fact the key was missing。 I remember taking it out； but had no idea wher
