villa rubein and other stories-第46节

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see　that　he　couldn't　look　me　in　the　face。　　'Where's　my　wife？'　I　said。

He　answered；　'Let's　get　Lucy。'　　I　ran　indoors。　　Lucy　met　me　with　two

letters；　the　firstmy　ownunopened；　and　the　second；　this：



〃'I　have　left　you。　　You　were　good　to　me；　but　nowit　is　no　use。

　　　　　　　　　　EILIE。'〃



〃She　told　me　that　a　boy　had　brought　a　letter　for　my　wife　the　day

before；　from　a　young　gentleman　in　a　boat。　　When　Lucy　delivered　it　she

asked；　'Who　is　he；　Miss　Eilie？　　What　will　Mr。　Brune　say？'　　My　wife

looked　at　her　angrily；　but　gave　her　no　answerand　all　that　day　she

never　spoke。　　In　the　evening　she　was　gone；　leaving　this　note　on　the

bed。。。。　　Lucy　cried　as　if　her　heart　would　break。　　I　took　her　by　the

shoulders　and　put　her　from　the　room；　I　couldn't　bear　the　noise。　　I

sat　down　and　tried　to　think。　　While　I　was　sitting　there　Tor　came　in

with　a　letter。　　It　was　written　on　the　notepaper　of　an　inn　twelve

miles　up　the　river：　these　were　the　words。



〃'Eilie　is　mine。　　I　am　ready　to　meet　you　where　you　like。'〃



He　went　on　with　a　painful　evenness　of　speech。　　〃When　I　read　those

words；　I　had　only　one　thoughtto　reach　them；　I　ran　down　to　the

river；　and　chose　out　the　lightest　boat。　　Just　as　I　was　starting；　Tor

came　running。　　'You　dropped　this　letter；　sir；'　be　said。　　'Two　pair　of

arms　are　better　than　one。'　　He　came　into　the　boat。　　I　took　the　sculls

and　I　pulled　out　into　the　stream。　　I　pulled　like　a　madman；　and　that

great　man；　with　his　bare　arms　crossed；　was　like　a　huge；　tawny　bull

sitting　there　opposite　me。　　Presently　he　took　my　place；　and　I　took

the　rudder　lines。　　I　could　see　his　chest；　covered　with　hair；　heaving

up　and　down；　it　gave　me　a　sort　of　comfortit　meant　that　we　were

getting　nearer。　　Then　it　grew　dark；　there　was　no　moon；　I　could　barely

see　the　bank；　there's　something　in　the　dark　which　drives　one　into

oneself。　　People　tell　you　there　comes　a　moment　when　your　nature　is

decided'saved'　or　'lost'　as　they　call　itfor　good　or　evil。　　That

is　not　true；　your　self　is　always　with　you；　and　cannot　be　altered；

but；　sir；　I　believe　that　in　a　time　of　agony　one　finds　out　what　are

the　things　one　can　do；　and　what　are　those　one　cannot。　　You　get　to

know　yourself；　that's　all。　　And　so　it　was　with　me。　　Every　thought　and

memory　and　passion　was　so　clear　and　strong！　　I　wanted　to　kill　him。　　I

wanted　to　kill　myself。　　But　herno！　　We　are　taught　that　we　possess

our　wives；　body　and　soul；　we　are　brought　up　in　that　faith；　we　are

commanded　to　believe　itbut　when　I　was　face　to　face　with　it；　those

words　had　no　meaning；　that　belief；　those　commands；　they　were　without

meaning　to　me；　they　werevile。　　Oh　yes；　I　wanted　to　find　comfort　in

them；　I　wanted　to　hold　on　to　thembut　I　couldn't。　　You　may　force　a

body；　how　can　you　force　a　soul？　　No；　nocowardly！　　But　I　wanted　to

I　wanted　to　kill　him　and　force　her　to　come　back　to　me！　　And　then；

suddenly；　I　felt　as　if　I　were　pressing　right　on　the　most　secret　nerve

of　my　heart。　　I　seemed　to　see　her　face；　white　and　quivering；　as　if

I'd　stamped　my　heel　on　it。　　They　say　this　world　is　ruled　by　force；　it

may　be　trueI　know　I　have　a　weak　spot　in　me。。。。　　I　couldn't　bear　it。

At　last　I　Jumped　to　my　feet　and　shouted　out；　'Turn　the　boat　round！'

Tor　looked　up　at　me　as　if　I　had　gone　mad。　　And　I　had　gone　mad。　　I

seized　the　boat…hook　and　threatened　him；　I　called　him　fearful　names。

'Sir；'　he　said；　'I　don't　take　such　names　from　any　one！'　　'You'll　take

them　from　me；'　I　shouted；　'turn　the　boat　round；　you　idiot；　you　hound；

you　fish！。。。'　　I　have　a　terrible　temper；　a　perfect　curse　to　me。　　He

seemed　amazed；　even　frightened；　he　sat　down　again　suddenly　and　pulled

the　boat　round。　　I　fell　on　the　seat；　and　hid　my　face。　　I　believe　the

moon　came　up；　there　must　have　been　a　mist　too；　for　I　was　cold　as

death。　　In　this　life；　sir；　we　cannot　hide　our　facesbut　by　degrees

the　pain　of　wounds　grows　less。　　Some　will　have　it　that　such　blows　are

mortal；　it　is　not　so。　　Time　is　merciful。



〃In　the　early　morning　I　went　back　to　London。　　I　had　fever　on　meand

was　delirious。　　I　dare　say　I　should　have　killed　myself　if　I　had　not

been　so　used　to　weaponsthey　and　I　were　too　old　friends；　I　suppose

I　can't　explain。　　It　was　a　long　while　before　I　was　up　and　about。

Dalton　nursed　me　through　it；　his　great　heavy　moustache　had　grown

quite　white。　　We　never　mentioned　her；　what　was　the　good？　　There　were

things　to　settle　of　course；　the　lawyerthis　was　unspeakably

distasteful　to　me。　　I　told　him　it　was　to　be　as　she　wished；　but　the

fellow　would　come　to　me；　with　histhere；　I　don't　want　to　be　unkind。

I　wished　him　to　say　it　was　my　fault；　but　he　saidI　remember　his

smile　nowhe　said；　that　was　impossible；　would　be　seen　through；

talked　of　collusionI　don't　understand　these　things；　and　what's

more；　I　can't　bear　them；　they　aredirty。



〃Two　years　later；　when　I　had　come　back　to　London；　after　the　Russo…

Turkish　war；　I　received　a　letter　from　her。　　I　have　it　here。〃　　He　took

an　old；　yellow　sheet　of　paper　out　of　a　leathern　pocketbook；　spread　it

in　his　fingers；　and　sat　staring　at　it。　　For　some　minutes　he　did　not

speak。



〃In　the　autumn　of　that　same　year　she　died　in　childbirth。　　He　had

deserted　her。　　Fortunately　for　him；　he　was　killed　on　the　Indian

frontier；　that　very　year。　　If　she　had　lived　she　would　have　been

thirty…two　next　June；　not　a　great　age。。。。　　I　know　I　am　what　they　call

a　crank；　doctors　will　tell　you　that　you　can't　be　cured　of　a　bad

illness；　and　be　the　same　man　again。　　If　you　are　bent；　to　force

yourself　straight　must　leave　you　weak　in　another　place。　　I　must　and

will　think　well　of　womeneverything　done；　and　everything　said

against　them　is　a　stone　on　her　dead　body。　　Could　you　sit；　and　listen

to　it？〃　　As　though　driven　by　his　own　question；　he　rose；　and　paced　up

and　down。　　He　came　back　to　the　seat　at　last。



〃That；　sir；　is　the　reason　of　my　behaviour　this　afternoon；　and　again

this　evening。　　You　have　been　so　kind；　I　wanted！wanted　to　tell　you。

She　had　a　little　daughterLucy　has　her　now。　　My　friend　Dalton　is

dead；　there　would　have　been　no　difficulty　about　money；　but；　I　am

sorry　to　say；　that　he　was　swindleddisgracefully。　　It　fell　to　me　to

administer　his　affairshe　never　knew　it；　but　he　died　penniless；　he

had　trusted　some　wretched　fellowshad　an　idea　they　would　make　his

fortune。　　As　I　very　soon　found；　they　had　ruined　him。　　It　was

impossible　to　let　Lucysuch　a　dear　womanbear　that　burden。　　I　have

tried　to　make　provision；　but；　you　see；〃　he　took　hold　of　my　sleeve；

〃I；　too；　have　not　been　fortunate；　in　fact；　it's　difficult　to　save　a

great　deal　out　of　L　190　a　year；　but　the　capital　is　perfectly　safe

and　I　get　L　47；　10s。　a　quarter；　paid　on　the　nail。　　I　have　often　been

tempted　to　reinvest　at　a　greater　rate　of　interest；　but　I've　never

dared。　　Anyway；　there　are　no　debtsI've　been　obliged　to　make　a　rule

not　to　buy　what　I　couldn't　pay　for　on　the　spot。。。。　　Now　I　am　really

plaguing　youbut　I　wanted　to　tell　youin　case…anything　should

happen　to　me。〃　　He　seemed　to　take　a　sudden　scare；　stiffened；　twisted

his　moustache；　and　muttering；　〃Your　great　kindness！　Shall　never

forget！〃　turned　hurriedly　away。



He　vanished；　his　footsteps；　and　the　tap　of　his　stick　grew　fainter　and

fainter。　　They　died　out。　　He　was　gone。　　Suddenly　I　got　up　and

hastened　after　him。　　I　soon　stoppedwhat　was　there　to　say？









VIII



The　following　day　I　was　obliged　to　go　to　Nice；　and　did　not　return

till　midnight。　　The　porter　told　me　that　Jules　le　Ferrier　had　been　to

see　me。　　The　next　morning；　while　I　was　still　in　bed；　the　door　was

opened；　and　Jules　appeared。　　His　face　was　very　pale；　and　the　moment

he　stood　still　drops　of　perspiration　began　coursing　down　his　cheeks。



〃Georges！〃　he　said；　〃he　is　dead。　　There；　there！　　How　stupid　you　look！

My　man　is　packing。　　I　have　half　an　hour　before　the　train；　my　evidence

shall　come　from　Italy。　　I　have　done　my　part；　the　rest　is　for　you。

Why　did　you　have　that　dinner？　　The　Don　Quixote！　　The　idiot！　　The　poor

man！　　Don't　move！　　Have　you　a　cigar？　　Listen！　　When　you　followed　him；

I　followed　the　other　two。　　My　infernal　curiosity！　　Can　you　conceive　a

greater　folly？　　How　fast　they　walked；　those　two！　feeling　their

cheeks；　as　if　he　had　struck　them　both；　you　know；　it　was　funny。　　They

soon　saw　me；　for　their　eyes　were　all　round　about　their　heads；　they

had　the　mark　of　a　glove　on　their　cheeks。〃　　The　colour　began　to　come

back；　into　Jules's　face；　he　gesticulated　with　his　cigar　and　became

more　and　more　dramatic。　　〃They　waited　for　me。　　'Tiens！'　said　one；

'this　gentleman　was　with　him。　　My　friend's　name　is　M。　Le　Baron　de…。

The　man　who　struck　him　was　an　odd…looking　person；　kindly　inform　me

whether　it　is　possible　for　my　friend　to　meet　him？'　　Eh！〃　commented

Jules；　〃he　was　offensive！　　Was　it　for　me　to　give　our　dignity　away？

'Perfectly；　monsieur！'　　I　answered。　　'In　that　case；'　he　said；　'please

give　me　his　name　and　ad　dress。。。。　　I　could　not　remember　his　name；　and

as　for　the　address；　I　never　knew　it。。。！　　I　reflected。　'That；'　I　said；

'I　am　unable　to　do；　for　special　reasons。'　　'Aha！'　he　said；　'reasons

t