villa rubein and other stories-第37节

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〃He　says　he　meant　to　take　her〃



〃Do　you　believe　that？〃



Before　I　could　answer；　I　saw　Pasiance　standing　at　the　window。　　How

long　she　had　been　there　I　don't　know。



〃Is　it　true　that　he　is　going　to　leave　me　behind？〃　she　cried　out。



I　could　only　nod。



〃Did　you　hear　him　your　own　self？〃



〃Yes。〃



She　stamped　her　foot。



〃But　he　promised！　He　promised！〃



John　Ford　went　towards　her。



〃Don't　touch　me；　grandfather！　　I　hate　every　one！　　Let　him　do　what　he

likes；　I　don't　care。〃



John　Ford's　face　turned　quite　grey。



〃Pasiance；〃　he　said；　〃did　you　want　to　leave　me　so　much？〃



She　looked　straight　at　us；　and　said　sharply：



〃What's　the　good　of　telling　stories。　　I　can't　help　its　hurting　you。〃



〃What　did　you　think　you　would　find　away　from　here？〃



She　laughed。



〃Find？　　I　don't　knownothing；　I　wouldn't　be　stifled　anyway。　　Now　I

suppose　you'll　shut　me　up　because　I'm　a　weak　girl；　not　strong　like

men！〃



〃Silence！〃　said　John　Ford；　〃I　will　make　him　take　you。〃



〃You　shan't！〃　she　cried；　〃I　won't　let　you。　　He's　free　to　do　as　he

likes。　　He's　freeI　tell　you　all；　everybodyfree！〃



She　ran　through　the　window；　and　vanished。



John　Ford　made　a　movement　as　if　the　bottom　had　dropped　out　of　his

world。　　I　left　him　there。



I　went　to　the　kitchen；　where　Hopgood　was　sitting　at　the　table；　eating

bread　and　cheese。　　He　got　up　on　seeing　me；　and　very　kindly　brought　me

some　cold　bacon　and　a　pint　of　ale。



〃I　thart　I　shude　be　seeing　yu；　zurr；〃　he　said　between　his　bites；

〃Therr's　no　thart　to　'atin'　'bout　the　'ouse　to…day。　　The　old　wumman's

puzzivantin'　over　Miss　Pasiance。　　Young　girls　are　skeery　critters〃

he　brushed　his　sleeve　over　his　broad；　hard　jaws；　and　filled　a　pipe

〃specially　when　it's　in　the　blood　of　'em。　　Squire　Rick　Voisey　werr　a

dandy；　an'　Mistress　Voiseywell；　she　werr　a　nice　lady　tu；　but〃

rolling　the　stem　of　his　pipe　from　corner　to　corner　of　his　mouth〃she

werr　a　pra…aper　vixen。〃



Hopgood's　a　good　fellow；　and　I　believe　as　soft　as　he　looks　hard；　but

he's　not　quite　the　sort　with　whom　one　chooses　to　talk　over　a　matter

like　this。　　I　went　upstairs；　and　began　to　pack；　but　after　a　bit

dropped　it　for　a　book；　and　somehow　or　other　fell　asleep。



I　woke；　and　looked　at　my　watch；　it　was　five　o'clock。　　I　had　been

asleep　four　hours。　　A　single　sunbeam　was　slanting　across　from　one　of

my　windows　to　the　other；　and　there　was　the　cool　sound　of　milk

dropping　into　pails；　then；　all　at　once；　a　stir　as　of　alarm；　and　heavy

footsteps。



I　opened　my　door。　　Hopgood　and　a　coast…guardsman　were　carrying

Pasiance　slowly　up　the　stairs。　　She　lay　in　their　arms　without　moving；

her　face　whiter　than　her　dress；　a　scratch　across　the　forehead；　and

two　or　three　drops　there　of　dried　blood。　　Her　hands　were　clasped；　and

she　slowly　crooked　and　stiffened　out　her　fingers。　　When　they　turned

with　her　at　the　stair　top；　she　opened　her　lips；　and　gasped；　〃All

right；　don't　put　me　down。　　I　can　bear　it。〃　　They　passed；　and；　with　a

half…smile　in　her　eyes；　she　said　something　to　me　that　I　couldn't

catch；　the　door　was　shut；　and　the　excited　whispering　began　again

below。　　I　waited　for　the　men　to　come　out；　and　caught　hold　of　Hopgood。

He　wiped　the　sweat　off　his　forehead。



〃Poor　young　thing！〃　he　said。　　〃She　felldown　the　cliffs'tis　her

backcoastguard　saw　her　'twerr　they　fetched　her　in。　　The　Lord　'elp

her　mebbe　she's　not　broken　up　much！　　An'　Mister　Ford　don't　know！　　I'm

gwine　for　the　doctor。〃



There　was　an　hour　or　more　to　wait　before　he　came；　a　young　fellow；

almost　a　boy。　　He　looked　very　grave；　when　he　came　out　of　her　room。



〃The　old　woman　there　fond　of　her？　　nurse　her　well。。。？　　Fond　as　a

dog！good！　　Don't　knowcan't　tell　for　certain！　　Afraid　it's　the

spine；　must　have　another　opinion！　　What　a　plucky　girl！　　Tell　Mr。　Ford

to　have　the　best　man　he　can　get　in　Torquaythere's　C…。　　I'll　be

round　the　first　thing　in　the　morning。　　Keep　her　dead　quiet。　　I've

left　a　sleeping　draught；　she'll　have　fever　tonight。〃



John　Ford　came　in　at　last。　　Poor　old　man！　　What　it　must　have　cost　him

not　to　go　to　her　for　fear　of　the　excitement！　　How　many　times　in　the

next　few　hours　didn't　I　hear　him　come　to　the　bottom　of　the　stairs；

his　heavy　wheezing；　and　sighing；　and　the　forlorn　tread　of　his　feet

going　back！　　About　eleven；　just　as　I　was　going　to　bed；　Mrs。　Hopgood

came　to　my　door。



〃Will　yu　come；　sir；〃　she　said；　〃she's　asking　for　yu。　　Naowt　I　can　zay

but　what　she　will　see　yu；　zeems　crazy；　don't　it？〃　　A　tear　trickled

down　the　old　lady's　cheek。　　〃Du　'ee　come；　'twill　du　'err　'arm　mebbe；

but　I　dunnoshe'll　fret　else。〃



I　slipped　into　the　room。　　Lying　back　on　her　pillows；　she　was

breathing　quickly　with　half…closed　eyes。　　There　was　nothing　to　show

that　she　had　wanted　me；　or　even　knew　that　I　was　there。　　The　wick　of

the　candle；　set　by　the　bedside；　had　been　snuffed　too　short；　and　gave

but　a　faint　light；　both　window　and　door　stood　open；　still　there　was

no　draught；　and　the　feeble　little　flame　burned　quite　still；　casting　a

faint　yellow　stain　on　the　ceiling　like　the　refection　from　a　buttercup

held　beneath　a　chin。　　These　ceilings　are　far　too　low！　　Across　the

wide；　squat　window　the　apple　branches　fell　in　black　stripes　which

never　stirred。　　It　was　too　dark　to　see　things　clearly。　　At　the　foot

of　the　bed　was　a　chest；　and　there　Mrs。　Hopgood　had　sat　down；　moving

her　lips　as　if　in　speech。　　Mingled　with　the　half…musty　smell　of　age；

there　were　other　scents；　of　mignonette；　apples；　and　some　sweet…

smelling　soap。　　The　floor　had　no　carpet；　and　there　was　not　one　single

dark　object　except　the　violin；　hanging　from　a　nail　over　the　bed。　　A

little；　round　clock　ticked　solemnly。



〃Why　won't　you　give　me　that　stuff；　Mums？〃　Pasiance　said　in　a　faint；

sharp　voice。　　〃I　want　to　sleep。〃



〃Have　you　much　pain？〃　I　asked。



〃Of　course　I　have；　it's　everywhere。〃



She　turned　her　face　towards　me。



〃You　thought　I　did　it　on　purpose；　but　you're　wrong。　　If　I　had；　I'd

have　done　it　better　than　this。　　I　wouldn't　have　this　brutal　pain。〃

She　put　her　fingers　over　her　eyes。　　〃It's　horrible　to　complain！　　Only

it's　so　bad！　　But　I　won't　againpromise。



She　took　the　sleeping　draught　gratefully；　making　a　face；　like　a　child

after　a　powder。



〃How　long　do　you　think　it'll　be　before　I　can　play　again？　　Oh！　I

forgotthere　are　other　things　to　think　about。〃　　She　held　out　her

hand　to　me。　　〃Look　at　my　ring。　　Marriedisn't　it　funny？　　Ha；　ha！

Nobody　will　ever　understandthat's　funny　too！　　Poor　Gran！　　You　see；

there　wasn't　any　reasononly　me。　　That's　the　only　reason　I'm　telling

you　now；　Mums　is　therebut　she　doesn't　count；　why　don't　you　count；

Mums？〃



The　fever　was　fighting　against　the　draught；　she　had　tossed　the

clothes　back　from　her　throat；　and　now　and　then　raised　one　thin　arm　a

little；　as　if　it　eased　her；　her　eyes　had　grown　large；　and　innocent

like　a　child's；　the　candle；　too；　had　flared；　and　was　burning　clearly。



〃Nobody　is　to　tell　himnobody　at　all；　promise。。。！　　If　I　hadn't

slipped；　it　would　have　been　different。　　What　would　have　happened

then？　　You　can't　tell；　and　I　can'tthat's　funny！　　Do　you　think　I

loved　him？　　Nobody　marries　without　love；　do　they？　　Not　quite　without

love；　I　mean。　　But　you　see　I　wanted　to　be　free；　he　said　he'd　take　me；

and　now　he's　left　me　after　all！　　I　won't　be　left；　I　can't！　　When　I

came　to　the　cliffthat　bit　where　the　ivy　grows　right　downthere　was

just　the　sea　there；　underneath；　so　I　thought　I　would　throw　myself

over　and　it　would　be　all　quiet；　and　I　climbed　on　a　ledge；　it　looked

easier　from　there；　but　it　was　so　high；　I　wanted　to　get　back；　and　then

my　foot　slipped；　and　now　it's　all　pain。　　You　can't　think　much；　when

you're　in　pain。〃



》From　her　eyes　I　saw　that　she　was　dropping　off。



〃Nobody　can　take　you　away　from…yourself。　　He's　not　to　be　toldnot

evenI　don'twant　youto　go　away；　because〃But　her　eyes　closed；

and　she　dropped　off　to　sleep。



They　don't　seem　to　know　this　morning　whether　she　is　better　or

worse。。。。









VI



〃Tuesday；　9th　August。



It　seems　more　like　three　weeks　than　three　days　since　I　wrote。　　The

time　passes　slowly　in　a　sickhouse。。。！　　The　doctors　were　here　this

morning；　they　give　her　forty　hours。　　Not　a　word　of　complaint　has

passed　her　lips　since　she　knew。　　To　see　her　you　would　hardly　think

her　ill；　her　cheeks　have　not　had　time　to　waste　or　lose　their　colour。

There　is　not　much　pain；　but　a　slow；　creeping　numbness。。。。　　It　was

John　Ford's　wish　that　she　should　be　told。　　She　just　turned　her　head

to　the　wall　and　sighed；　then　to　poor　old　Mrs。　Hopgood；　who　was　crying

her　heart　out：　〃Don't　cry；　Mums；　I　don't　care。〃



When　they　had　gone；　she　asked　for　her　violin。　　She　made　them　hold　it

for　her；　and　drew　the　bow　across　the　strings；　but　the　notes　that　came

out　were　so　trembling　and　uncertain　that　she　dropped　the　bow　and

broke　into　a　passion　of　sobbing。　　Since　then；　no　complaint　or　moan　of

any　kind。。。。



But　to　go　back。　　On　Sunday；　the　day　after　I　wrote；　as　I　was