16-is shakespeare dead-第4节

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and　Spenser；　and　Raleigh；　and　the　other　distinguished　literary

folk　of　Shakespeare's　time　passed　from　life！　　No　praiseful　voice

was　lifted　for　the　lost　Bard　of　Avon；　even　Ben　Jonson　waited

seven　years　before　he　lifted　his。



SO　FAR　AS　ANYBODY　ACTUALLY　KNOWS　AND　CAN　PROVE；　Shakespeare

of　Stratford…on…Avon　never　wrote　a　play　in　his　life。





SO　FAR　AS　ANY　ONE　KNOWS；　HE　RECEIVED　ONLY　ONE　LETTER

DURING　HIS　LIFE。



So　far　as　any　one　KNOWS　AND　CAN　PROVE；　Shakespeare　of

Stratford　wrote　only　one　poem　during　his　life。　　This　one　is

authentic。　　He　did　write　that　onea　fact　which　stands

undisputed；　he　wrote　the　whole　of　it；　he　wrote　the　whole　of　it

out　of　his　own　head。　　He　commanded　that　this　work　of　art　be

engraved　upon　his　tomb；　and　he　was　obeyed。　　There　it　abides　to

this　day。　　This　is　it：





Good　friend　for　Iesus　sake　forbeare

To　digg　the　dust　encloased　heare：

Blest　be　ye　man　yt　spares　thes　stones

And　curst　be　he　yt　moves　my　bones。





In　the　list　as　above　set　down　will　be　found　EVERY　POSITIVELY

KNOWN　fact　of　Shakespeare's　life；　lean　and　meager　as　the　invoice

is。　　Beyond　these　details　we　know　NOT　A　THING　about　him。　　All　the

rest　of　his　vast　history；　as　furnished　by　the　biographers；　is

built　up；　course　upon　course；　of　guesses；　inferences；　theories；

conjecturesan　Eiffel　Tower　of　artificialities　rising　sky…high

from　a　very　flat　and　very　thin　foundation　of　inconsequential

facts。





IV



Conjectures



The　historians　〃suppose〃　that　Shakespeare　attended　the　Free

School　in　Stratford　from　the　time　he　was　seven　years　old　till　he

was　thirteen。　　There　is　no　EVIDENCE　in　existence　that　he　ever

went　to　school　at　all。



The　historians　〃infer〃　that　he　got　his　Latin　in　that　school

the　school　which　they　〃suppose〃　he　attended。



They　〃suppose〃　his　father's　declining　fortunes　made　it

necessary　for　him　to　leave　the　school　they　supposed　he　attended；

and　get　to　work　and　help　support　his　parents　and　their　ten

children。　　But　there　is　no　evidence　that　he　ever　entered　or

returned　from　the　school　they　suppose　he　attended。



They　〃suppose〃　he　assisted　his　father　in　the　butchering

business；　and　that；　being　only　a　boy；　he　didn't　have　to　do　full…

grown　butchering；　but　only　slaughtering　calves。　　Also；　that

whenever　he　killed　a　calf　he　made　a　high…flown　speech　over　it。

This　supposition　rests　upon　the　testimony　of　a　man　who　wasn't

there　at　the　time；　a　man　who　got　it　from　a　man　who　could　have

been　there；　but　did　not　say　whether　he　was　nor　not；　and　neither

of　them　thought　to　mention　it　for　decades；　and　decades；　and

decades；　and　two　more　decades　after　Shakespeare's　death　（until

old　age　and　mental　decay　had　refreshed　and　vivified　their

memories）。　　They　hadn't　two　facts　in　stock　about　the　long…dead

distinguished　citizen；　but　only　just　the　one：　　he　slaughtered

calves　and　broke　into　oratory　while　he　was　at　it。　　Curious。　　They

had　only　one　fact；　yet　the　distinguished　citizen　had　spent

twenty…six　years　in　that　little　townjust　half　his　lifetime。

However；　rightly　viewed；　it　was　the　most　important　fact；　indeed

almost　the　only　important　fact；　of　Shakespeare's　life　in

Stratford。　　Rightly　viewed。　　For　experience　is　an　author's　most

valuable　asset；　experience　is　the　thing　that　puts　the　muscle　and

the　breath　and　the　warm　blood　into　the　book　he　writes。　　Rightly

viewed；　calf…butchering　accounts　for　〃Titus　Andronicus；〃　the　only

playain't　it？that　the　Stratford　Shakespeare　ever　wrote；　and

yet　it　is　the　only　one　everybody　tried　to　chouse　him　out　of；　the

Baconians　included。



The　historians　find　themselves　〃justified　in　believing〃　that

the　young　Shakespeare　poached　upon　Sir　Thomas　Lucy's　deer　preserves

and　got　haled　before　that　magistrate　for　it。　　But　there　is　no　shred

of　respectworthy　evidence　that　anything　of　the　kind　happened。



The　historians；　having　argued　the　thing　that　MIGHT　have

happened　into　the　thing　that　DID　happen；　found　no　trouble　in

turning　Sir　Thomas　Lucy　into　Mr。　Justice　Shallow。　　They　have　long

ago　convinced　the　worldon　surmise　and　without　trustworthy

evidencethat　Shallow　IS　Sir　Thomas。



The　next　addition　to　the　young　Shakespeare's　Stratford

history　comes　easy。　　The　historian　builds　it　out　of　the　surmised

deer…steeling；　and　the　surmised　trial　before　the　magistrate；　and

the　surmised　vengeance…prompted　satire　upon　the　magistrate　in　the

play：　　result；　the　young　Shakespeare　was　a　wild；　wild；　wild；　oh；

SUCH　a　wild　young　scamp；　and　that　gratuitous　slander　is

established　for　all　time！　　It　is　the　very　way　Professor　Osborn

and　I　built　the　colossal　skeleton　brontosaur　that　stands　fifty…

seven　feet　long　and　sixteen　feet　high　in　the　Natural　History

Museum；　the　awe　and　admiration　of　all　the　world；　the　stateliest

skeleton　that　exists　on　the　planet。　　We　had　nine　bones；　and　we

built　the　rest　of　him　out　of　plaster　of　Paris。　　We　ran　short　of

plaster　of　Paris；　or　we'd　have　built　a　brontosaur　that　could　sit

down　beside　the　Stratford　Shakespeare　and　none　but　an　expert

could　tell　which　was　biggest　or　contained　the　most　plaster。



Shakespeare　pronounced　〃Venus　and　Adonis〃　〃the　first　heir　of

his　invention；〃　apparently　implying　that　it　was　his　first　effort

at　literary　composition。　　He　should　not　have　said　it。　　It　has

been　an　embarrassment　to　his　historians　these　many；　many　years。

They　have　to　make　him　write　that　graceful　and　polished　and

flawless　and　beautiful　poem　before　he　escaped　from　Stratford　and

his　family1586　or　'87age；　twenty…two；　or　along　there；　because

within　the　next　five　years　he　wrote　five　great　plays；　and　could

not　have　found　time　to　write　another　line。



It　is　sorely　embarrassing。　　If　he　began　to　slaughter　calves；

and　poach　deer；　and　rollick　around；　and　learn　English；　at　the

earliest　likely　momentsay　at　thirteen；　when　he　was　supposably

wretched　from　that　school　where　he　was　supposably　storing　up

Latin　for　future　literary　usehe　had　his　youthful　hands　full；

and　much　more　than　full。　　He　must　have　had　to　put　aside　his

Warwickshire　dialect；　which　wouldn't　be　understood　in　London；　and

study　English　very　hard。　　Very　hard　indeed；　incredibly　hard；

almost；　if　the　result　of　that　labor　was　to　be　the　smooth　and

rounded　and　flexible　and　letter…perfect　English　of　the　〃Venus　and

Adonis〃　in　the　space　of　ten　years；　and　at　the　same　time　learn

great　and　fine　and　unsurpassable　literary　FORM。



However；　it　is　〃conjectured〃　that　he　accomplished　all　this

and　more；　much　more：　　learned　law　and　its　intricacies；　and　the

complex　procedure　of　the　law…courts；　and　all　about　soldiering；

and　sailoring；　and　the　manners　and　customs　and　ways　of　royal

courts　and　aristocratic　society；　and　likewise　accumulated　in　his

one　head　every　kind　of　knowledge　the　learned　then　possessed；　and

every　kind　of　humble　knowledge　possessed　by　the　lowly　and　the

ignorant；　and　added　thereto　a　wider　and　more　intimate　knowledge

of　the　world's　great　literatures；　ancient　and　modern；　than　was

possessed　by　any　other　man　of　his　timefor　he　was　going　to　make

brilliant　and　easy　and　admiration…compelling　use　of　these

splendid　treasures　the　moment　he　got　to　London。　　And　according　to

the　surmisers；　that　is　what　he　did。　　Yes；　although　there　was　no

one　in　Stratford　able　to　teach　him　these　things；　and　no　library　in

the　little　village　to　dig　them　out　of。　　His　father　could　not　read；

and　even　the　surmisers　surmise　that　he　did　not　keep　a　library。



It　is　surmised　by　the　biographers　that　the　young　Shakespeare

got　his　vast　knowledge　of　the　law　and　his　familiar　and　accurate

acquaintance　with　the　manners　and　customs　and　shop…talk　of

lawyers　through　being　for　a　time　the　CLERK　OF　A　STRATFORD　COURT；

just　as　a　bright　lad　like　me；　reared　in　a　village　on　the　banks　of

the　Mississippi；　might　become　perfect　in　knowledge　of　the　Bering

Strait　whale…fishery　and　the　shop…talk　of　the　veteran　exercises

of　that　adventure…bristling　trade　through　catching　catfish　with　a

〃trot…line〃　Sundays。　　But　the　surmise　is　damaged　by　the　fact　that

there　is　no　evidenceand　not　even　traditionthat　the　young

Shakespeare　was　ever　clerk　of　a　law…court。



It　is　further　surmised　that　the　young　Shakespeare

accumulated　his　law…treasures　in　the　first　years　of　his　sojourn

in　London；　through　〃amusing　himself〃　by　learning　book…law　in　his

garret　and　by　picking　up　lawyer…talk　and　the　rest　of　it　through

loitering　about　the　law…courts　and　listening。　　But　it　is　only

surmise；　there　is　no　EVIDENCE　that　he　ever　did　either　of　those

things。　　They　are　merely　a　couple　of　chunks　of　plaster　of　Paris。



There　is　a　legend　that　he　got　his　bread　and　butter　by

holding　horses　in　front　of　the　London　theaters；　mornings　and

afternoons。　　Maybe　he　did。　　If　he　did；　it　seriously　shortened　his

law…study　hours　and　his　recreation…time　in　the　courts。　　In　those

very　days　he　was　writing　great　plays；　and　needed　all　the　time　he

could　get。　　The　horse…holding　legend　ought　to　be　strangled；　it

too　formidably　increases　the　historian's　difficulty　in　accounting

for　the　young　Sh