the courtship of susan bell-第7节

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girl　in　her　lover's　last　words。　　And　yet　they　had　almost　made　her
tremble。　　He　had　been　so　bold；　and　stern；　and　confident。　　He　had
seemed　so　utterly　to　defy　the　impregnable　discretion　of　Mr。　Beckard；
so　to　despise　the　demure　propriety　of　Hetta。　　But　of　this　she　felt
sure；　when　she　came　to　question　her　heart；　that　she　could　never；
never；　never　cease　to　love　him　better　than　all　the　world　beside。
She　would　waitpatiently　if　she　could　find　patienceand　then；　if
he　deserted　her；　she　would　die。

In　another　month　Hetta　became　Mrs。　Beckard。　　Susan　brisked　up　a
little　for　the　occasion；　and　looked　very　pretty　as　bridesmaid。　　She
was　serviceable　too　in　arranging　household　matters；　hemming　linen
and　sewing　table…cloths；　though　of　course　in　these　matters　she　did
not　do　a　tenth　of　what　Hetta　did。

Then　the　summer　came；　the　Saratoga　summer　of　July；　August；　and
September；　during　which　the　widow's　house　was　full；　and　Susan's
hands　saved　the　pain　of　her　heart；　for　she　was　forced　into
occupation。　　Now　that　Hetta　was　gone　to　her　own　duties；　it　was
necessary　that　Susan's　part　in　the　household　should　be　more
prominent。

Aaron　did　not　come　back　to　his　work　at　Saratoga。　　Why　he　did　not
they　could　not　then　learn。　　During　the　whole　long　summer　they　heard
not　a　word　of　him　nor　from　him；　and　then　when　the　cold　winter　months
came　and　their　boarders　had　left　them；　Mrs。　Beckard　congratulated
her　sister　in　that　she　had　given　no　further　encouragement　to　a　lover
who　cared　so　little　for　her。　　This　was　very　hard　to　bear。　　But　Susan
did　bear　it。

That　winter　was　very　sad。　　They　learned　nothing　of　Aaron　Dunn　till
about　January；　and　then　they　heard　that　he　was　doing　very　well。　　He
was　engaged　on　the　Erie　trunk　line；　was　paid　highly；　and　was　much
esteemed。　　And　yet　he　neither　came　nor　sent！　　〃He　has　an　excellent
situation；〃　their　informant　told　them。　　〃And　a　permanent　one？〃　asked
the　widow。　　〃Oh；　yes；　no　doubt；〃　said　the　gentleman；　〃for　I　happen
to　know　that　they　count　greatly　on　him。〃　　And　yet　he　sent　no　word　of
love。

After　that　the　winter　became　very　sad　indeed。　　Mrs。　Bell　thought　it
to　be　her　duty　now　to　teach　her　daughter　that　in　all　probability　she
would　see　Aaron　Dunn　no　more。　　It　was　open　to　him　to　leave　her
without　being　absolutely　a　wolf。　　He　had　been　driven　from　the　house
when　he　was　poor；　and　they　had　no　right　to　expect　that　he　would
return；　now　that　he　had　made　some　rise　in　the　world。　　〃Men　do　amuse
themselves　in　that　way；〃　the　widow　tried　to　teach　her。

〃He　is　not　like　that；　mother；〃　she　said　again。

〃But　they　do　not　think　so　much　of　these　things　as　we　do；〃　urged　the
mother。

〃Don't　they？〃　said　Susan；　oh；　so　sorrowfully；　and　so　through　the
whole　long　winter　months　she　became　paler　and　paler；　and　thinner　and
thinner。

And　then　Hetta　tried　to　console　her　with　religion；　and　that　perhaps
did　not　make　things　any　better。　　Religious　consolation　is　the　best
cure　for　all　griefs；　but　it　must　not　be　looked　for　specially　with
regard　to　any　individual　sorrow。　　A　religious　man；　should　he　become
bankrupt　through　the　misfortunes　of　the　world；　will　find　true
consolation　in　his　religion　even　for　that　sorrow。　　But　a　bankrupt；
who　has　not　thought　much　of　such　things；　will　hardly　find　solace　by
taking　up　religion　for　that　special　occasion。

And　Hetta　perhaps　was　hardly　prudent　in　her　attempts。　　She　thought
that　it　was　wicked　in　Susan　to　grow　thin　and　pale　for　love　of　Aaron
Dunn；　and　she　hardly　hid　her　thoughts。　　Susan　was　not　sure　but　that
it　might　be　wicked；　but　this　doubt　in　no　way　tended　to　make　her
plump　or　rosy。　　So　that　in　those　days　she　found　no　comfort　in　her
sister。

But　her　mother's　pity　and　soft　love　did　ease　her　sufferings；　though
it　could　not　make　them　cease。　　Her　mother　did　not　tell　her　that　she
was　wicked；　or　bid　her　read　long　sermons；　or　force　her　to　go　oftener
to　the　meeting…house。

〃He　will　never　come　again；　I　think；〃　she　said　one　day；　as　with　a
shawl　wrapped　around　her　shoulders；　she　leant　with　her　head　upon　her
mother's　bosom。

〃My　own　darling；〃　said　the　mother；　pressing　her　child　closely　to　her
side。

〃You　think　he　never　will；　eh；　mother？〃　　What　could　Mrs。　Bell　say？
In　her　heart　of　hearts　she　did　not　think　he　ever　would　come　again。

〃No；　my　child。　　I　do　not　think　he　will。〃　　And　then　the　hot　tears　ran
down；　and　the　sobs　came　thick　and　frequent。

〃My　darling；　my　darling！〃　exclaimed　the　mother；　and　they　wept
together。

〃Was　I　wicked　to　love　him　at　the　first；〃　she　asked　that　night。

〃No；　my　child；　you　were　not　wicked　at　all。　　At　least　I　think　not。〃

〃Then　why〃　　Why　was　he　sent　away？　　It　was　on　her　tongue　to　ask
that　question；　but　she　paused　and　spared　her　mother。　　This　was　as
they　were　going　to　bed。　　The　next　morning　Susan　did　not　get　up。　　She
was　not　ill；　she　said；　but　weak　and　weary。　　Would　her　mother　let　her
lie　that　day？　　And　then　Mrs。　Bell　went　down　alone　to　her　room；　and
sorrowed　with　all　her　heart　for　the　sorrow　of　her　child。　　Why；　oh
why；　had　she　driven　away　from　her　door…sill　the　love　of　an　honest
man？

On　the　next　morning　Susan　again　did　not　get　up；nor　did　she　hear；
or　if　she　heard　she　did　not　recognise；　the　step　of　the　postman　who
brought　a　letter　to　the　door。　　Early；　before　the　widow's　breakfast；
the　postman　came；　and　the　letter　which　he　brought　was　as　follows：…


〃MY　DEAR　MRS。　BELL；

〃I　have　now　got　a　permanent　situation　on　the　Erie　line；　and　the
salary　is　enough　for　myself　and　a　wife。　　At　least　I　think　so；　and　I
hope　you　will　too。　　I　shall　be　down　at　Saratoga　to…morrow　evening；
and　I　hope　neither　Susan　nor　you　will　refuse　to　receive　me。

〃Yours　affectionately；

〃AARON　DUNN。〃


That　was　all。　　It　was　very　short；　and　did　not　contain　one　word　of
love；　but　it　made　the　widow's　heart　leap　for　joy。　　She　was　rather
afraid　that　Aaron　was　angry；　he　wrote　so　curtly　and　with　such　a
brusque　business…like　attention　to　mere　facts；　but　surely　he　could
have　but　one　object　in　coming　there。　　And　then　he　alluded　specially
to　a　wife。　　So　the　widow's　heart　leapt　with　joy。

But　how　was　she　to　tell　Susan？　　She　ran　up　stairs　almost　breathless
with　haste；　to　the　bedroom　door；　but　then　she　stopped；　too　much　joy
she　had　heard　was　as　dangerous　as　too　much　sorrow；　she　must　think　it
over　for　a　while；　and　so　she　crept　back　again。

But　after　breakfastthat　is；　when　she　had　sat　for　a　while　over　her
teacupshe　returned　to　the　room；　and　this　time　she　entered　it。　　The
letter　was　in　her　hand；　but　held　so　as　to　be　hidden；in　her　left
hand　as　she　sat　down　with　her　right　arm　towards　the　invalid。

〃Susan　dear；〃　she　said；　and　smiled　at　her　child；　〃you'll　be　able　to
get　up　this　morning？　eh；　dear？〃

〃Yes；　mother；〃　said　Susan；　thinking　that　her　mother　objected　to　this
idleness　of　her　lying　in　bed。　　And　so　she　began　to　bestir　herself。

〃I　don't　mean　this　very　moment；　love。　　Indeed；　I　want　to　sit　with
you　for　a　little　while；〃　and　she　put　her　right　arm　affectionately
round　her　daughter's　waist。

〃Dearest　mother；〃　said　Susan。

〃Ah！　there's　one　dearer　than　me；　I　guess；〃　and　Mrs。　Bell　smiled
sweetly；　as　she　made　the　maternal　charge　against　her　daughter。

Susan　raised　herself　quickly　in　the　bed；　and　looked　straight　into
her　mother's　face。　　〃Mother；　mother；〃　she　said；　〃what　is　it？　　You've
something　to　tell。　　Oh；　mother！〃　　And　stretching　herself　over；　she
struck　her　hand　against　the　corner　of　Aaron's　letter。　　〃Mother；
you've　a　letter。　　Is　he　coming；　mother？〃　and　with　eager　eyes　and
open　lips；　she　sat　up；　holding　tight　to　her　mother's　arm。

〃Yes；　love。　　I　have　got　a　letter。〃

〃Is　heis　he　coming？〃

How　the　mother　answered；　I　can　hardly　tell；　but　she　did　answer；　and
they　were　soon　lying　in　each　other's　arms；　warm　with　each　other's
tears。　　It　was　almost　hard　to　say　which　was　the　happier。

Aaron　was　to　be　there　that　eveningthat　very　evening。　　〃Oh；　mother；
let　me　get　up；〃　said　Susan。

But　Mrs。　Bell　said　no；　not　yet；　her　darling　was　pale　and　thin；　and
she　almost　wished　that　Aaron　was　not　coming　for　another　week。　　What
if　he　should　come　and　look　at　her；　and　finding　her　beauty　gone；
vanish　again　and　seek　a　wife　elsewhere！

So　Susan　lay　in　bed；　thinking　of　her　happiness；　dozing　now　and
again；　and　fearing　as　she　waked　that　it　was　a　dream；　looking
constantly　at　that　drawing　of　his；　which　she　kept　outside　upon　the
bed；　nursing　her　love　and　thinking　of　it；　and　endeavouring；　vainly
endeavouring；　to　arrange　what　she　would　say　to　him。

〃Mother；〃　she　said；　when　Mrs。　Bell　once　went　up　to　her；　〃you　won't
tell　Hetta　and　Phineas；　will　you？　　Not　to…day；　I　mean？〃　　Mrs。　Bell
agreed　that　it　would　be　better　not　to　tell　them。　　Perhaps　she
thought　that　she　had　already　depended　too　much　on　Hetta　and　Phineas
in　the　matter。

Susan's　finery　in　the　way　of　dress　had　never　been　extensive；　and　now
lately；　in　these　last　sad　winter　days；　she　had　thought　but　little　of
the　fashion　of　her　clothes。　　But　when　she　began　to　dress　herself　for
the　evening；　she　did　ask　her　mother　with　some　anxiety　what　she　had
better　wear。　　〃If　he　loves　you　he　will　hardly　see　what　you　have　on；〃
said　the　mother。　　But　not　the　less　was　she　careful　to　smooth　her
daughter's　hair；　and　make　the　most　that　might　be　made　of　those　faded
roses。

How　Susan's　heart　beat；how　both　their　hearts　beat