tales from two hemispheres[1].(两个半球的故事)-第26节
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prepare himself for greater usefulness in times to come。 He felt in
himself a stronger and fuller manhood； as if the great arteries of the vast
universal world…life pulsed in his own being。 The drowsy； indolent
existence at home appeared like a dull remote dream from which he had
awaked； and he blessed the destiny which； by its very sternness； had
mercifully saved him； he blessed her； too； who； from the very want of love
for him； had； perhaps； made him worthier of love。
The years flew rapidly。 Society had flung its doors open to him； and
what was more； he had found some warm friends； in whose houses he
could come and go at pleasure。 He enjoyed keenly the privilege of daily
association with high…minded and refined women； their eager activity of
intellect stimulated him； their exquisite ethereal grace and their delicately
chiseled beauty satisfied his aesthetic cravings； and the responsive vivacity
of their nature prepared him ever new surprises。 He felt a strange
fascination in the presence of these women； and the conviction grew upon
him that their type of womanhood was superior to any he had hitherto
known。 And by way of refuting his own argument； he would draw from
his pocket…book the photograph of Bertha； which had a secret
compartment there all to itself； and； gazing tenderly at it； would eagerly
defend her against the disparaging reflections which the involuntary
comparison had provoked。 And still； how could he help seeing that her
features； though well molded； lacked animation； that her eye； with its deep；
trustful glance； was not brilliant； and that the calm earnestness of her face；
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when compared with the bright； intellectual beauty of his present friends；
appeared pale and simple； like a violet in a bouquet of vividly colored
roses？ It gave him a quick pang； when； at times； he was forced to admit
this； nevertheless； it was the truth。
After six years of residence in America； Ralph had gained a very high
reputation as a journalist of rare culture and ability； and； in 1867 he was
sent to the World's Exhibition in Paris； as correspondent of the paper on
which he had during all these years been employed。 What wonder； then；
that he started for Europe a few weeks before his presence was needed in
the imperial city； and that he steered his course directly toward the fjord
valley where Bertha had her home？ It was she who had bidden him
Godspeed when he fled from the land of his birth； and she； too； should
receive his first greeting on his return。
V。
The sun had fortified itself behind a citadel of flaming clouds； and the
upper forest region shone with a strange ethereal glow； while the lower
plains were wrapped in shadow； but the shadow itself had a strong
suffusion of color。 The mountain peaks rose cold and blue in the
distance。
Ralph； having inquired his way of the boatman who had landed him at
the pier； walked rapidly along the beach； with a small valise in his hand；
and a light summer overcoat flung over his shoulder。 Many half…thoughts
grazed his mind； and ere the first had taken shape； the second； and the
third came and chased it away。 And still they all in some fashion had
reference to Bertha； for in a misty； abstract way； she filled his whole mind；
but for some indefinable reason； he was afraid to give free rein to the
sentiment which lurked in the remoter corners of his soul。
Onward he hastened； while his heart throbbed with the quickening
tempo of mingled expectation and fear。 Now and then one of those chill
gusts of air which seem to be careering about aimlessly in the atmosphere
during early summer； would strike into his face； and recall him to a keener
self…consciousness。
Ralph concluded； from his increasing agitation； that he must be very
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near Bertha's home。 He stopped and looked around him。 He saw a
large maple at the roadside； some thirty steps from where he was standing；
and the girl who was sitting under it； resting her head in her hand and
gazing out over the sea； he recognized in an instant to be Bertha。 He
sprang up on the road； not crossing； however； her line of vision； and
approached her noiselessly from behind。
〃Bertha；〃 he whispered。
She gave a little joyous cry； sprang up； and made a gesture as if to
throw herself in his arms； then suddenly checked herself； blushed crimson；
and moved a step backward。
〃You came so suddenly；〃 she murmured。
〃But； Bertha；〃 cried he （and the full bass of his voice rang through her
very soul）； 〃have I gone into exile and waited these many years for so cold
a welcome？〃
〃You have changed so much； Ralph；〃 she answered； with that old
grave smile which he knew so well； and stretched out both her hands
toward him。 〃And I have thought of you so much since you went away；
and blamed myself because I had judged you so harshly； and wondered
that you could listen to me so patiently； and never bear me any malice for
what I said。〃
〃If you had said a word less；〃 declared Ralph； seating himself at her
side on the greensward； 〃or if you had varnished it over with politeness；
then you would probably have failed to produce any effect and I should
not have been burdened with that heavy debt of gratitude which I now owe
you。 I was a pretty thick…skinned animal in those days； Bertha。 You
said the right word at the right moment； you gave me a hold and a good
piece of advice； which my own ingenuity would never have suggested to
me。 I will not thank you； because； in so grave a case as this； spoken
thanks sound like a mere mockery。 Whatever I am； Bertha； and whatever
I may hope to be； I owe it all to that hour。〃
She listened with rapture to the manly assurance of his voice； her eyes
dwelt with unspeakable joy upon his strong； bronzed features； his full
thick blonde beard； and the vigorous proportions of his frame。 Many and
many a time during his absence had she wondered how he would look if
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he ever came back； and with that minute conscientiousness which； as it
were； pervaded her whole character； she had held herself responsible
before God for his fate； prayed for him； and trembled lest evil powers
should gain the ascendency over his soul。
On their way to the house they talked together of many things； but in a
guarded； cautious fashion； and without the cheerful abandonment of
former years。 They both； as it were； groped their way carefully in each
other's minds； and each vaguely felt that there was something in the other's
thought which it was not well to touch unbidden。 Bertha saw that all her
fears for him had been groundless； and his very appearance lifted the
whole weight of responsibility from her breast； and still； did she rejoice at
her deliverance from her burden？ Ah； no； in this moment she knew that
that which she had foolishly cherished as the best and noblest part of
herself； had been but a selfish need of her own heart。 She feared that she
had only taken that interest in him which one feels in a thing of one's own
making； and now； when she saw that he had risen quite above her； that he
was free and strong； and could have no more need of her； she had； instead
of generous pleasure at his success； but a painful sense of emptiness； as if
something very dear had been taken from her。
Ralph； too； was loath to analyze the impression his old love made
upon him。 His feelings were of so c
