juana-第9节
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suffer and a weakness which leads her to resignation。 Juana resigned
herself; and without restriction。 She determined to obey her mother's
prayer; and cross the desert of life to reach God's heaven; knowing
well that no flowers grew for her along the way of that painful
journey。
She married Diard。 As for the quartermaster; though he had no grace in
Juana's eyes; we may well absolve him。 He loved her distractedly。 The
Marana; so keen to know the signs of love; had recognized in that man
the accents of passion and the brusque nature; the generous impulses;
that are common to Southerners。 In the paroxysm of her anger and her
distress she had thought such qualities enough for her daughter's
happiness。
The first days of this marriage were apparently happy; or; to express
one of those latent facts; the miseries of which are buried by women
in the depths of their souls; Juana would not cast down her husband's
joy;a double role; dreadful to play; but to which; sooner or later;
all women unhappily married come。 This is a history impossible to
recount in its full truth。 Juana; struggling hourly against her
nature; a nature both Spanish and Italian; having dried up the source
of her tears by dint of weeping; was a human type; destined to
represent woman's misery in its utmost expression; namely; sorrow
undyingly active; the description of which would need such minute
observations that to persons eager for dramatic emotions they would
seem insipid。 This analysis; in which every wife would find some one
of her own sufferings; would require a volume to express them all; a
fruitless; hopeless volume by its very nature; the merit of which
would consist in faintest tints and delicate shadings which critics
would declare to be effeminate and diffuse。 Besides; what man could
rightly approach; unless he bore another heart within his heart; those
solemn and touching elegies which certain women carry with them to
their tomb; melancholies; misunderstood even by those who cause them;
sighs unheeded; devotions unrewarded;on earth at least;splendid
silences misconstrued; vengeances withheld; disdained; generosities
perpetually bestowed and wasted; pleasures longed for and denied;
angelic charities secretly accomplished;in short; all the religions
of womanhood and its inextinguishable love。
Juana knew that life; fate spared her nought。 She was wholly a wife;
but a sorrowful and suffering wife; a wife incessantly wounded; yet
forgiving always; a wife pure as a flawless diamond;she who had the
beauty and the glow of the diamond; and in that beauty; that glow; a
vengeance in her hand; for she was certainly not a woman to fear the
dagger added to her 〃dot。〃
At first; inspired by a real love; by one of those passions which for
the time being change even odious characters and bring to light all
that may be noble in a soul; Diard behaved like a man of honor。 He
forced Montefiore to leave the regiment and even the army corps; so
that his wife might never meet him during the time they remained in
Spain。 Next; he petitioned for his own removal; and succeeded in
entering the Imperial Guard。 He desired at any price to obtain a
title; honors; and consideration in keeping with his present wealth。
With this idea in his mind; he behaved courageously in one of the most
bloody battles in Germany; but; unfortunately; he was too severely
wounded to remain in the service。 Threatened with the loss of a leg;
he was forced to retire on a pension; without the title of baron;
without those rewards he hoped to win; and would have won had he not
been Diard。
This event; this wound; and his thwarted hopes contributed to change
his character。 His Provencal energy; roused for a time; sank down。 At
first he was sustained by his wife; in whom his efforts; his courage;
his ambition had induced some belief in his nature; and who showed
herself; what women are; tender and consoling in the troubles of life。
Inspired by a few words from Juana; the retired soldier came to Paris;
resolved to win in an administrative career a position to command
respect; bury in oblivion the quartermaster of the 6th of the line;
and secure for Madame Diard a noble title。 His passion for that
seductive creature enabled him to divine her most secret wishes。 Juana
expressed nothing; but he understood her。 He was not loved as a lover
dreams of being loved; he knew this; and he strove to make himself
respected; loved; and cherished。 He foresaw a coming happiness; poor
man; in the patience and gentleness shown on all occasions by his
wife; but that patience; that gentleness; were only the outward signs
of the resignation which had made her his wife。 Resignation; religion;
were they love? Often Diard wished for refusal where he met with
chaste obedience; often he would have given his eternal life that
Juana might have wept upon his bosom and not disguised her secret
thoughts behind a smiling face which lied to him nobly。 Many young men
for after a certain age men no longer strugglepersist in the
effort to triumph over an evil fate; the thunder of which they hear;
from time to time; on the horizon of their lives; and when at last
they succumb and roll down the precipice of evil; we ought to do them
justice and acknowledge these inward struggles。
Like many men Diard tried all things; and all things were hostile to
him。 His wealth enabled him to surround his wife with the enjoyments
of Parisian luxury。 She lived in a fine house; with noble rooms; where
she maintained a salon; in which abounded artists (by nature no judges
of men); men of pleasure ready to amuse themselves anywhere; a few
politicians who swelled the numbers; and certain men of fashion; all
of whom admired Juana。 Those who put themselves before the eyes of the
public in Paris must either conquer Paris or be subject to it。 Diard's
character was not sufficiently strong; compact; or persistent to
command society at that epoch; because it was an epoch when all men
were endeavoring to rise。 Social classifications ready…made are
perhaps a great boon even for the people。 Napoleon has confided to us
the pains he took to inspire respect in his court; where most of the
courtiers had been his equals。 But Napoleon was Corsican; and Diard
Provencal。 Given equal genius; an islander will always be more compact
and rounded than the man of terra firma in the same latitude; the arm
of the sea which separates Corsica from Provence is; in spite of human
science; an ocean which has made two nations。
Diard's mongrel position; which he himself made still more
questionable; brought him great troubles。 Perhaps there is useful
instruction to be derived from the almost imperceptible connection of
acts which led to the finale of this history。
In the first place; the sneerers of Paris did not see without
malicious smiles and words the pictures with which the former
quartermaster adorned his handsome mansion。 Works of art purchased the
night before were said to be spoils from Spain; and this accusation
was the revenge of those who were jealous of his present fortune。
Juana comprehended this reproach; and by her advice Diard sent back to
Tarragona all the pictures he had brought from there。 But the public;
determined to see things in the worst light; only said; 〃That Diard is
shrewd; he has sold his pictures。〃 Worthy people continued to think
that those which remained in the Diard salons were not honorably
acquired。 Some jealous women asked how it was that a DIARD (!) had
been able to marry so rich and beautiful a young girl。 Hence comments
and satires without end; such as Paris contributes。 And yet; it must
be said; that Juana met on all sides the respect inspired by her pure
and religious life; which triumphed over everything; even Parisian
calumny; but this respect stopped short with her; her husband received
none of it。 Juana's feminine perception and her keen eye hovering over
her salons; brought her nothing but pain。
This lack of esteem was perfectly natural。 Diard's comrades; in spite
of the virtues which our imaginations attribute to soldiers; never
forgave the former quartermaster of the 6th of the line for becoming
suddenly so rich and for attempting to cut a figure in Paris。 Now in
Paris; from the last house in the faubourg Saint…Germain to the last
in the rue Saint…Lazare; between the heights of the Luxembourg and the
heights of Montmartre; all that clothes itself and gabbles; clothes
itself to go out and goes out to gabble。 All that world of great and
small pretensions; that world of insolence and humble desires; of envy
and cringing; all that is gilded or tarnished; young or old; noble of
yesterday or noble from the fourth century; all that sneers at a
parvenu; all that fears to commit itself; all that wants to demolish
power and worships power if it resists;ALL those ears hear; ALL
those tongues say; ALL those minds know; in a single evening; where