juana-第11节
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superiority。 But if by chance she seems really imposing to him; he
feels the need of foisting faults upon her。 After that; between man
and wife; trifles increase and grow till they swell to Alps。
But Juana; patient and without pride; gentle and without that
bitterness which women know so well how to cast into their submission;
left Diard no chance for planned ill…humor。 Besides; she was one of
those noble creatures to whom it is impossible to speak
disrespectfully; her glance; in which her life; saintly and pure;
shone out; had the weight of a fascination。 Diard; embarrassed at
first; then annoyed; ended by feeling that such high virtue was a yoke
upon him。 The goodness of his wife gave him no violent emotions; and
violent emotions were what he wanted。 What myriads of scenes are
played in the depths of his souls; beneath the cold exterior of lives
that are; apparently; commonplace! Among these dramas; lasting each
but a short time; though they influence life so powerfully and are
frequently the forerunners of the great misfortune doomed to fall on
so many marriages; it is difficult to choose an example。 There was a
scene; however; which particularly marked the moment when in the life
of this husband and wife estrangement began。 Perhaps it may also serve
to explain the finale of this narrative。
Juana had two children; happily for her; two sons。 The first was born
seven months after her marriage。 He was called Juan; and he strongly
resembled his mother。 The second was born about two years after her
arrival in Paris。 The latter resembled both Diard and Juana; but more
particularly Diard。 His name was Francisque。 For the last five years
Francisque had been the object of Juana's most tender and watchful
care。 The mother was constantly occupied with that child; to him her
prettiest caresses; to him the toys; but to him; especially; the
penetrating mother…looks。 Juana had watched him from his cradle; she
had studied his cries; his motions; she endeavored to discern his
nature that she might educate him wisely。 It seemed at times as if she
had but that one child。 Diard; seeing that the eldest; Juan; was in a
way neglected; took him under his own protection; and without
inquiring even of himself whether the boy was the fruit of that
ephemeral love to which he owed his wife; he made him his Benjamin。
Of all the sentiments transmitted to her through the blood of her
grandmothers which consumed her; Madame Diard accepted one alone;
maternal love。 But she loved her children doubly: first with the noble
violence of which her mother the Marana had given her the example;
secondly; with grace and purity; in the spirit of those social virtues
the practice of which was the glory of her life and her inward
recompense。 The secret thought; the conscience of her motherhood;
which gave to the Marana's life its stamp of untaught poesy; was to
Juana an acknowledged life; an open consolation at all hours。 Her
mother had been virtuous as other women are criminal;in secret; she
had stolen a fancied happiness; she had never really tasted it。 But
Juana; unhappy in her virtue as her mother was unhappy in her vice;
could enjoy at all moments the ineffable delights which her mother had
so craved and could not have。 To her; as to her mother; maternity
comprised all earthly sentiments。 Each; from differing causes; had no
other comfort in their misery。 Juana's maternal love may have been the
strongest because; deprived of all other affections; she put the joys
she lacked into the one joy of her children; and there are noble
passions that resemble vice; the more they are satisfied the more they
increase。 Mothers and gamblers are alike insatiable。
When Juana saw the generous pardon laid silently on the head of Juan
by Diard's fatherly affection; she was much moved; and from the day
when the husband and wife changed parts she felt for him the true and
deep interest she had hitherto shown to him as a matter of duty only。
If that man had been more consistent in his life; if he had not
destroyed by fitful inconstancy and restlessness the forces of a true
though excitable sensibility; Juana would doubtless have loved him in
the end。 Unfortunately; he was a type of those southern natures which
are keen in perceptions they cannot follow out; capable of great
things over…night; and incapable the next morning; often the victim of
their own virtues; and often lucky through their worst passions;
admirable men in some respects; when their good qualities are kept to
a steady energy by some outward bond。 For two years after his retreat
from active life Diard was held captive in his home by the softest
chains。 He lived; almost in spite of himself; under the influence of
his wife; who made herself gay and amusing to cheer him; who used the
resources of feminine genius to attract and seduce him to a love of
virtue; but whose ability and cleverness did not go so far as to
simulate love。
At this time all Paris was talking of the affair of a captain in the
army who in a paroxysm of libertine jealousy had killed a woman。
Diard; on coming home to dinner; told his wife that the officer was
dead。 He had killed himself to avoid the dishonor of a trial and the
shame of death upon the scaffold。 Juana did not see at first the logic
of such conduct; and her husband was obliged to explain to her the
fine jurisprudence of French law; which does not prosecute the dead。
〃But; papa; didn't you tell us the other day that the king could
pardon?〃 asked Francisque。
〃The king can give nothing but life;〃 said Juan; half scornfully。
Diard and Juana; the spectators of this little scene; were differently
affected by it。 The glance; moist with joy; which his wife cast upon
her eldest child was a fatal revelation to the husband of the secrets
of a heart hitherto impenetrable。 That eldest child was all Juana;
Juana comprehended him; she was sure of his heart; his future; she
adored him; but her ardent love was a secret between herself; her
child; and God。 Juan instinctively enjoyed the seeming indifference of
his mother in presence of his father and brother; for she pressed him
to her heart when alone。 Francisque was Diard; and Juana's incessant
care and watchfulness betrayed her desire to correct in the son the
vices of the father and to encourage his better qualities。 Juana;
unaware that her glance had said too much and that her husband had
rightly interpreted it; took Francisque in her lap and gave him; in a
gentle voice still trembling with the pleasure that Juan's answer had
brought her; a lesson upon honor; simplified to his childish
intelligence。
〃That boy's character requires care;〃 said Diard。
〃Yes;〃 she replied simply。
〃How about Juan?〃
Madame Diard; struck by the tone in which the words were uttered;
looked at her husband。
〃Juan was born perfect;〃 he added。
Then he sat down gloomily; and reflected。 Presently; as his wife
continued silent; he added:
〃You love one of YOUR children better than the other。〃
〃You know that;〃 she said。
〃No;〃 said Diard; 〃I did not know until now which of them you
preferred。〃
〃But neither of them have ever given me a moment's uneasiness;〃 she
answered quickly。
〃But one of them gives you greater joys;〃 he said; more quickly still。
〃I never counted them;〃 she said。
〃How false you women are!〃 cried Diard。 〃Will you dare to say that
Juan is not the child of your heart?〃
〃If that were so;〃 she said; with dignity; 〃do you think it a
misfortune?〃
〃You have never loved me。 If you had chosen; I would have conquered
worlds for your sake。 You know all that I have struggled to do in
life; supported by the hope of pleasing you。 Ah! if you had only loved
me!〃
〃A woman who loves;〃 said Juana; 〃likes to live in solitude; far from
the world; and that is what we are doing。〃
〃I know; Juana; that YOU are never in the wrong。〃
The words were said bitterly; and cast; for the rest of their lives
together; a coldness between them。
On the morrow of that fatal day Diard went back to his old companions
and found distractions for his mind in play。 Unfortunately; he won
much money; and continued playing。 Little by little; he returned to
the dissipated life he had formerly lived。 Soon he ceased even to dine
in his own home。
Some months went by in the enjoyment of this new independence; he was
determined to preserve it; and in order to do so he separated himself
from his wife; giving her the large apartments and lodging himself in
the entresol。 By the end of the year Diard and Juana only saw each
other in the morning at breakfast。
Like all gamblers; he had his alternations of loss and gain。 Not
wishing to cut into the capital of his fortune; he felt the necessity
of withdrawing from his wife the management of their income; and the
day came when he took from her all she had hitherto f