the brotherhood of consolation-第2节

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Machiavellianism　of　some；　or　by　the　lavish　prodigality　of　others；　by
the　fortunes　of　ambitious　capitalists；　or　by　the　wit　and　shrewdness　of
editors。　Meantime　he　was　drawn　into　all　the　dissipations　that　arise
from　literary　or　political　life；　and　he　yielded　to　the　temptations
incurred　by　journalists　behind　the　scenes。　He　soon　found　himself　in
bad　company；　but　this　experience　taught　him　that　his　appearance　was
insignificant；　that　he　had　one　shoulder　higher　than　the　other；　without
the　inequality　being　redeemed　by　either　malignancy　or　kindness　of
nature。　Such　were　the　truths　these　artists　made　him　feel。

Small；　ill…made；　without　superiority　of　mind　or　settled　purpose；　what
chance　was　there　for　a　man　like　that　in　an　age　when　success　in　any
career　demands　that　the　highest　qualities　of　the　mind　be　furthered　by
luck；　or　by　tenacity　of　will　which　commands　luck。

The　revolution　of　1830　stanched　Godefroid's　wounds。　He　had　the　courage
of　hope；　which　is　equal　to　that　of　despair。　He　obtained　an
appointment；　like　other　obscure　journalists；　to　a　government　situation
in　the　provinces；　where　his　liberal　ideas；　conflicting　with　the
necessities　of　the　new　power；　made　him　a　troublesome　instrument。
Bitten　with　liberalism；　he　did　not　know；　as　cleverer　men　did；　how　to
steer　a　course。　Obedience　to　ministers　he　regarded　as　sacrificing　his
opinions。　Besides；　the　government　seemed　to　him　to　be　disobeying　the
laws　of　its　own　origin。　Godefroid　declared　for　progress；　where　the
object　of　the　government　was　to　maintain　the　/statu　quo/。　He　returned
to　Paris　almost　poor；　but　faithful　still　to　the　doctrines　of　the
Opposition。

Alarmed　by　the　excesses　of　the　press；　more　alarmed　still　by　the
attempted　outrages　of　the　republican　party；　he　sought　in　retirement
from　the　world　the　only　life　suitable　for　a　being　whose　faculties　were
incomplete；　and　without　sufficient　force　to　bear　up　against　the　rough
jostling　of　political　life；　the　struggles　and　sufferings　of　which
confer　no　credit；a　being；　too；　who　was　wearied　with　his　many
miscarriages；　without　friends；　for　friendship　demands　either　striking
merits　or　striking　defects；　and　yet　possessing　a　sensibility　of　soul
more　dreamy　than　profound。　Surely　a　retired　life　was　the　course　left
for　a　young　man　whom　pleasure　had　more　than　once　misled；whose　heart
was　already　aged　by　contact　with　a　world　as　restless　as　it　was
disappointing。

His　mother；　who　was　dying　in　the　peaceful　village　of　Auteuil；　recalled
her　son　to　live　with　her；　partly　to　have　him　near　her；　and　partly　to
put　him　in　the　way　of　finding　an　equable；　tranquil　happiness　which
might　satisfy　a　soul　like　his。　She　had　ended　by　judging　Godefroid；
finding　him　at　twenty…eight　with　two…thirds　of　his　fortune　gone；　his
desires　dulled；　his　pretended　capacities　extinct；　his　activity　dead；
his　ambition　humbled；　and　his　hatred　against　all　that　reached
legitimate　success　increased　by　his　own　shortcomings。

She　tried　to　marry　him　to　an　excellent　young　girl；　the　only　daughter
of　a　retired　merchant；a　woman　well　fitted　to　play　the　part　of
guardian　to　the　sickened　soul　of　her　son。　But　the　father　had　the
business　spirit　which　never　abandons　an　old　merchant；　especially　in
matrimonial　negotiations；　and　after　a　year　of　attentions　and
neighborly　intercourse；　Godefroid　was　not　accepted。　In　the　first
place；　his　former　career　seemed　to　these　worthy　people　profoundly
immoral；　then；　during　this　very　year；　he　had　made　still　further
inroads　into　his　capital；　as　much　to　dazzle　the　parents　as　to　please
the　daughter。　This　vanity；　excusable　as　it　was；　caused　his　final
rejection　by　the　family；　who　held　dissipation　of　property　in　holy
horror；　and　who　now　discovered　that　in　six　years　Godefroid　had　spent
or　lost　a　hundred　and　fifty　thousand　francs　of　his　capital。

This　blow　struck　the　young　man's　already　wounded　heart　the　more　deeply
because　the　girl　herself　had　no　personal　beauty。　But；　guided　by　his
mother　in　judging　her　character；　he　had　ended　by　recognizing　in　the
woman　he　sought　the　great　value　of　an　earnest　soul；　and　the　vast
advantages　of　a　sound　mind。　He　had　grown　accustomed　to　the　face；　he
had　studied　the　countenance；　he　loved　the　voice；　the　manners；　the
glance　of　that　young　girl。　Having　cast　on　this　attachment　the　last
stake　of　his　life；　the　disappointment　he　endured　was　the　bitterest　of
all。　His　mother　died；　and　he　found　himself；　he　who　had　always　desired
luxury；　with　five　thousand　francs　a　year　for　his　whole　fortune；　and
with　the　certainty　that　never　in　his　future　life　could　he　repair　any
loss　whatsoever；　for　he　felt　himself　incapable　of　the　effort　expressed
in　that　terrible　injunction；　to　/make　his　way/。

Weak；　impatient　grief　cannot　easily　be　shaken　off。　During　his
mourning；　Godefroid　tried　the　various　chances　and　distractions　of
Paris；　he　dined　at　table…d'hotes；　he　made　acquaintances　heedlessly；　he
sought　society；　with　no　result　but　that　of　increasing　his
expenditures。　Walking　along　the　boulevards；　he　often　suffered　deeply
at　the　sight　of　a　mother　walking　with　a　marriageable　daughter；a
sight　which　caused　him　as　painful　an　emotion　as　he　formerly　felt　when
a　young　man　passed　him　riding　to　the　Bois；　or　driving　in　an　elegant
equipage。　The　sense　of　his　impotence　told　him　that　he　could　never　hope
for　the　best　of　even　secondary　positions；　nor　for　any　easily　won
career；　and　he　had　heart　enough　to　feel　constantly　wounded；　mind
enough　to　make　in　his　own　breast　the　bitterest　of　elegies。

Unfitted　to　struggle　against　circumstances；　having　an　inward
consciousness　of　superior　faculties　without　the　will　that　could　put
them　in　action；　feeling　himself　incomplete；　without　force　to　undertake
any　great　thing；　without　resistance　against　the　tastes　derived　from
his　earlier　life；　his　education；　and　his　indolence；　he　was　the　victim
of　three　maladies；　any　one　of　which　would　be　enough　to　sicken　of　life
a　young　man　long　alienated　from　religious　faith。

Thus　it　was　that　Godefroid　presented；　even　to　the　eye；　the　face　that
we　meet　so　often　in　Paris　that　it　might　be　called　the　type　of　the
Parisian；　in　it　we　may　see　ambitions　deceived　or　dead；　inward
wretchedness；　hatred　sleeping　in　the　indolence　of　a　life　passed　in
watching　the　daily　and　external　life　of　Paris；　apathy　which　seeks
stimulation；　lament　without　talent；　a　mimicry　of　strength；　the　venom
of　past　disappointments　which　excites　to　cynicism；　and　spits　upon　all
that　enlarges　and　grows；　misconceives　all　necessary　authority；
rejoicing　in　its　embarrassments；　and　will　not　hold　to　any　social　form。
This　Parisian　malady　is　to　the　active　and　permanent　impulse　towards
conspiracy　in　persons　of　energy　what　the　sapwood　is　to　the　sap　of　the
trees；　it　preserves　it；　feeds　it；　and　conceals　it。



II

OLD　HOUSE；　OLD　PEOPLE；　OLD　CUSTOMS

Weary　of　himself；　Godefroid　attempted　one　day　to　give　a　meaning　to　his
life；　after　meeting　a　former　comrade　who　had　been　the　tortoise　in　the
fable；　while　he　in　earlier　days　had　been　the　hare。　In　one　of　those
conversations　which　arise　when　schoolmates　meet　again　in　after　years；
a　conversation　held　as　they　were　walking　together　in　the　sunshine　on
the　boulevard　des　Italiens；he　was　startled　to　learn　the　success　of　a
man　endowed　apparently　with　less　gifts；　less　means；　less　fortune　than
himself；　but　who　had　bent　his　will　each　morning　to　the　purpose
resolved　upon　the　night　before。　The　sick　soul　then　determined　to
imitate　that　simple　action。

〃Social　existence　is　like　the　soil；〃　his　comrade　had　said　to　him；　〃it
makes　us　a　return　in　proportion　to　our　efforts。〃

Godefroid　was　in　debt。　As　a　first　test；　a　first　task；　he　resolved　to
live　in　some　retired　place；　and　pay　his　debts　from　his　income。　To　a
man　accustomed　to　spend　six　thousand　francs　when　he　had　but　five；　it
was　no　small　undertaking　to　bring　himself　to　live　on　two　thousand。
Every　morning　he　studied　advertisements；　hoping　to　find　the　offer　of
some　asylum　where　his　expenses　could　be　fixed；　where　he　might　have　the
solitude　a　man　wants　when　he　makes　a　return　upon　himself；　examines
himself；　and　endeavors　to　give　himself　a　vocation。　The　manners　and
customs　of　bourgeois　boarding…houses　shocked　his　delicacy；　sanitariums
seemed　to　him　unhealthy；　and　he　was　about　to　fall　back　into　the　fatal
irresolution　of　persons　without　will；　when　the　following　advertisement
met　his　eye：

　　〃To　Let。　A　small　lodging　for　seventy　francs　a　month；　suitable　for
　　an　ecclesiastic。　A　quiet　tenant　desired。　Board　supplied；　the　rooms
　　can　be　furnished　at　a　moderate　cost　if　mutually　acceptable。

　　〃Inquire　of　M。　Millet；　grocer；　rue　Chanoinesse；　near　Notre…Dame；
　　where　all　further　information　can　be　obtained。〃

Attracted　by　a　certain　kindliness　concealed　beneath　these　words；　and
the　middle…class　air　which　exhaled　from　them；　Godefroid　had；　on　the
afternoon　when　we　found　him　on　the　quay；　called　at　four　o'clock　on　the
grocer；　who　told　him　that　Madame　de　la　Chanterie　was　then　dining；　and
did　not　receive　any　one　when　at　her　meals。　The　lady；　he　said；　was
visible　in　the　evening　after　seven　o'clock；　or　in　the　morning　between
ten　and　twelve。　While　speaking；　Monsieur　Millet　examined　Godefroid；
and　made　him　submit　to　what　magistrates　call　the　〃first　degree　of
interrogation。〃

〃Was　monsieur　unmarried？　Madame