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第99节

robert falconer-第99节

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his mind nowquiet as the air that ever broods over the house where

a friend has dwelt。  He left the town behind; and walkedthrough

the odours of grass and of clover and of the yellow flowers on the

old earthwalls that divided the fieldssweet scents to which the

darkness is friendly; and which; mingling with the smell of the

earth itself; reach the founts of memory sooner than even words or

tonesdown to the brink of the river that flowed scarcely murmuring

through the night; itself dark and brown as the night from its

far…off birthplace in the peaty hills。  He crossed the footbridge

and turned into the bleachfield。  Its houses were desolate; for that

trade too had died away。  The machinery stood rotting and rusting。

The wheel gave no answering motion to the flow of the water that

glided away beneath it。  The thundering beatles were still。  The

huge legs of the wauk…mill took no more seven…leagued strides

nowhither。  The rubbing…boards with their thickly…fluted surfaces no

longer frothed the soap from every side; tormenting the web of linen

into a brightness to gladden the heart of the housewife whose hands

had spun the yarn。  The terrible boiler that used to send up from

its depths bubbling and boiling spouts and peaks and ridges; lay

empty and cold。  The little house behind; where its awful furnace

used to glow; and which the pungent chlorine used to fill with its

fumes; stood open to the wind and the rain: he could see the slow

river through its unglazed window beyond。  The water still went

slipping and sliding through the deserted places; a power whose use

had departed。  The canal; the delight of his childhood; was nearly

choked with weeds; it went flowing over long grasses that drooped

into it from its edges; giving a faint gurgle once and again in its

flow; as if it feared to speak in the presence of the stars; and

escaped silently into the river far below。  The grass was no longer

mown like a lawn; but was long and deep and thick。  He climbed to

the place where he had once lain and listened to the sounds of the

belt of fir…trees behind him; hearing the voice of Nature that

whispered God in his ears; and there he threw himself down once

more。  All the old things; the old ways; the old glories of

childhoodwere they gone?  No。 Over them all; in them all; was God

still。  There is no past with him。  An eternal present; He filled

his soul and all that his soul had ever filled。  His history was

taken up into God: it had not vanished: his life was hid with Christ

in God。 To the God of the human heart nothing that has ever been a

joy; a grief; a passing interest; can ever cease to be what it has

been; there is no fading at the breath of time; no passing away of

fashion; no dimming of old memories in the heart of him whose being

creates time。  Falconer's heart rose up to him as to his own deeper

life; his indwelling deepest spiritabove and beyond him as the

heavens are above and beyond the earth; and yet nearer and homelier

than his own most familiar thought。 'As the light fills the earth;'

thought he; 'so God fills what we call life。  My sorrows; O God; my

hopes; my joys; the upliftings of my life are with thee; my root; my

life。  Thy comfortings; my perfect God; are strength indeed!'



He rose and looked around him。  While he lay; the waning; fading

moon had risen; weak and bleared and dull。  She brightened and

brightened until at last she lighted up the night with a wan;

forgetful gleam。 'So should I feel;' he thought; 'about the past on

which I am now gazing; were it not that I believe in the God who

forgets nothing。  That which has been; is。'  His eye fell on

something bright in the field beyond。  He would see what it was; and

crossed the earthen dyke。  It shone like a little moon in the grass。

By humouring the reflection he reached it。  It was only a cutting

of white iron; left by some tinker。  He walked on over the field;

thinking of Shargar's mother。  If he could but find her!  He walked

on and on。  He had no inclination to go home。  The solitariness of

the night; the uncanniness of the moon; prevents most people from

wandering far: Robert had learned long ago to love the night; and to

feel at home with every aspect of God's world。  How this peace

contrasted with the nights in London streets! this grass with the

dark flow of the Thames! these hills and those clouds half melted

into moonlight with the lanes blazing with gas!  He thought of the

child who; taken from London for the first time; sent home the

message: 'Tell mother that it's dark in the country at night。'  Then

his thoughts turned again to Shargar's mother!  Was it not possible;

being a wanderer far and wide; that she might be now in Rothieden?

Such people have a love for their old haunts; stronger than that of

orderly members of society for their old homes。  He turned back; and

did not know where he was。  But the lines of the hill…tops directed

him。  He hastened to the town; and went straight through the

sleeping streets to the back wynd where he had found Shargar sitting

on the doorstep。  Could he believe his eyes?  A feeble light was

burning in the shed。  Some other poverty…stricken bird of the night;

however; might be there; and not she who could perhaps guide him to

the goal of his earthly life。  He drew near; and peeped in at the

broken window。  A heap of something lay in a corner; watched only by

a long…snuffed candle。



The heap moved; and a voice called out querulously;



'Is that you; Shargar; ye shochlin deevil?'



Falconer's heart leaped。  He hesitated no longer; but lifted the

latch and entered。  He took up the candle; snuffed it as he best

could; and approached the woman。  When the light fell on her face

she sat up; staring wildly with eyes that shunned and sought it。



'Wha are ye that winna lat me dee in peace and quaietness?'



'I'm Robert Falconer。'



'Come to speir efter yer ne'er…do…weel o' a father; I reckon;' she

said。



'Yes;' he answered。



'Wha's that ahin' ye?'



'Naebody's ahin' me;' answered Robert。



'Dinna lee。  Wha's that ahin' the door?'



'Naebody。  I never tell lees。'



'Whaur's Shargar?  What for doesna he come till 's mither?'



'He's hynd awa' ower the seasa captain o' sodgers。'



'It's a lee。  He's an ill…faured scoonrel no to come till 's mither

an' bid her gude…bye; an' her gaein' to hell。'



'Gin ye speir at Christ; he'll tak ye oot o' the verra mou' o' hell;

wuman。'



'Christ! wha's that?  Ow; ay!  It's him 'at they preach aboot i' the

kirks。  Na; na。  There's nae gude o' that。  There's nae time to

repent noo。  I doobt sic repentance as mine wadna gang for muckle

wi' the likes o' him。'



'The likes o' him 's no to be gotten。  He cam to save the likes o'

you an' me。'



'The likes o' you an' me! said ye; laddie?  There's no like atween

you and me。  He'll hae naething to say to me; but gang to hell wi'

ye for a bitch。'



'He never said sic a word in 's life。  He wad say; 〃Poor thing! she

was ill…used。  Ye maunna sin ony mair。  Come; and I'll help ye。〃  He

wad say something like that。  He'll save a body whan she wadna think

it。'



'An' I hae gien my bonnie bairn to the deevil wi' my ain han's!

She'll come to hell efter me to girn at me; an' set them on me wi'

their reid het taings; and curse me。  Och hone! och hone!'



'Hearken to me;' said Falconer; with as much authority as he could

assume。  But she rolled herself over again in the corner; and lay

groaning。



'Tell me whaur she is;' said Falconer; 'and I'll tak her oot o'

their grup; whaever they be。'



She sat up again; and stared at him for a few moments without

speaking。



'I left her wi' a wuman waur nor mysel';' she said at length。 'God

forgie me。'



'He will forgie ye; gin ye tell me whaur she is。'



'Do ye think he will?  Eh; Maister Faukner!  The wuman bides in a

coort off o' Clare Market。  I dinna min' upo' the name o' 't; though

I cud gang till 't wi' my een steekit。  Her name's Widow Walkeran

auld rowdiedamn her sowl!'



'Na; na; ye maunna say that gin ye want to be forgien yersel'。  I'll

fin' her oot。  An' I'm thinkin' it winna be lang or I hae a grup o'

her。  I'm gaein' back to Lonnon in twa days or three。'



'Dinna gang till I'm deid。  Bide an' haud the deevil aff o' me。  He

has a grup o' my hert noo; rivin' at it wi' his lang nailsas lang

's birds' nebs。'



'I'll bide wi' ye till we see what can be dune for ye。  What's the

maitter wi' ye?  I'm a doctor noo。'



There was not a chair or box or stool on which to sit down。  He

therefore kneeled beside her。  He felt her pulse; questioned her;

and learned that she had long been suffering from an internal

complaint; which had within the last week grown rapidly worse。  He

saw that there was no hope of her recovery; but while she lived he

gave himself to her service as to that of a living soul capable of

justice and love。  The night w

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