robert falconer-第95节

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knew　more　about　the　metropolisthe　west　end　exceptedthan　most

people　who　had　lived　their　lives　in　it。　　The　west　end　is　no　doubt　a

considerable　exception　to　make；　but　Falconer　sought　only　his　father；

and　the　west　end　was　the　place　where　he　was　least　likely　to　find

him。　　Day　and　night　he　wandered　into　all　sorts　of　places：　the　worse

they　looked　the　more　attractive　he　found　them。　　It　became　almost　a

craze　with　him。　　He　could　not　pass　a　dirty　court　or　low…browed

archway。　　He　might　be　there。　　Or　he　might　have　been　there。　　Or　it

was　such　a　place　as　he　would　choose　for　shelter。　　He　knew　to　what

such　a　life　as　his　must　have　tended。



At　first　he　was　attracted　only　by　tall　elderly　men。　　Such　a　man　he

would　sometimes　follow　till　his　following　made　him　turn　and　demand

his　object。　　If　there　was　no　suspicion　of　Scotch　in　his　tone；

Falconer　easily　apologized。　　If　there　was；　he　made　such　replies　as

might　lead　to　some　betrayal。　　He　could　not　defend　the　course　he　was

adopting：　it　had　not　the　shadow　of　probability　upon　its　side。　　Still

the　greatest　successes　the　world　has　ever　beheld　had　been　at　one

time　the　greatest　improbabilities！　　He　could　not　choose　but　go　on；

for　as　yet　he　could　think　of　no　other　way。



Neither　could　a　man　like　Falconer　long　confine　his　interest　to　this

immediate　object；　especially　after　he　had；　in　following　it；　found

opportunity　of　being　useful。　　While　he　still　made　it　his　main　object

to　find　his　father；　that　object　became　a　centre　from　which　radiated

a　thousand　influences　upon　those　who　were　as　sheep　that　had　no

shepherd。　　He　fell　back　into　his　old　ways　at　Aberdeen；　only　with　a

boundless　sphere　to　work　in；　and　with　the　hope　of　finding　his　father

to　hearten　him。　　He　haunted　the　streets　at　night；　went　into　all

places　of　entertainment；　often　to　the　disgust　of　senses　and　soul；

and　made　his　way　into　the　lowest　forms　of　life　without　introduction

or　protection。



There　was　a　certain　stately　air　of　the　hills　about　him　which　was

often　mistaken　for　country　inexperience；　and　men　thought　in

consequence　to　make　gain　or　game　of　him。　　But　such　found　their

mistake；　and　if　not　soon；　then　the　more　completely。　　Far　from

provoking　or　even　meeting　hostility；　he　soon　satisfied　those　that

persisted；　that　it　was　dangerous。　　In　two　years　he　became　well　known

to　the　poor　of　a　large　district；　especially　on　both　sides　of

Shoreditch；　for　whose　sake　he　made　the　exercise　of　his　profession

though　not　an　object　yet　a　ready　accident。



He　lived　in　lodgings　in　John　Streetthe　same　in　which　I　found　him

when　I　came　to　know　him。　　He　made　few　acquaintances；　and　they　were

chiefly　the　house…surgeons　of　hospitalsto　which　he　paid　frequent

visits。



He　always　carried　a　book　in　his　pocket；　but　did　not　read　much。　　On

Sundays　he　generally　went　to　some　one　of　the　many　lonely　heaths　or

commons　of　Surrey　with　his　New　Testament。　　When　weary　in　London；　he

would　go　to　the　reading…room　of　the　British　Museum　for　an　hour　or

two。　　He　kept　up　a　regular　correspondence　with　Dr。　Anderson。



At　length　he　received　a　letter　from　him；　which　occasioned　his

immediate　departure　for　Aberdeen。　　Until　now；　his　friend；　who　was

entirely　satisfied　with　his　mode　of　life；　and　supplied　him　freely

with　money；　had　not　even　expressed　a　wish　to　recall　him；　though　he

had　often　spoken　of　visiting　him　in　London。　　It　now　appeared　that；

unwilling　to　cause　him　any　needless　anxiety；　he　had　abstained　from

mentioning　the　fact　that　his　health　had　been　declining。　　He　had　got

suddenly　worse；　and　Falconer　hastened　to　obey　the　summons　he　had

sent　him　in　consequence。



With　a　heavy　heart　he　walked　up　to　the　hospitable　door；　recalling　as

he　ascended　the　steps　how　he　had　stood　there　a　helpless　youth；　in

want　of　a　few　pounds　to　save　his　hopes；　when　this　friend　received

him　and　bid　him　God…speed　on　the　path　he　desired　to　follow。　　In　a

moment　more　he　was　shown　into　the　study；　and　was　passing　through　it

to　go　to　the　cottage…room；　when　Johnston　laid　his　hand　on　his　arm。



'The　maister's　no　up　yet；　sir；'　he　said；　with　a　very　solemn　look。

'He's　been　desperate　efter　seein'　ye；　and　I　maun　gang　an'　lat　him

ken　'at　ye're　here　at　last；　for　fear　it　suld　be　ower　muckle　for　him；

seein'　ye　a'　at　ance。　　But　eh；　sir！'　he　added；　the　tears　gathering

in　his　eyes；　'ye'll　hardly　ken　'im。　　He's　that　changed！'



Johnston　left　the　study　by　the　door　to　the　cottageFalconer　had

never　known　the　doctor　sleep　thereand　returning　a　moment　after；

invited　him　to　enter。　　In　the　bed　in　the　recessthe　room　unchanged；

with　its　deal　table；　and　its　sanded　floorlay　the　form　of　his

friend。　　Falconer　hastened　to　the　bedside；　kneeled　down；　and　took

his　hand　speechless。　　The　doctor　was　silent　too；　but　a　smile

overspread　his　countenance；　and　revealed　his　inward　satisfaction。

Robert's　heart　was　full；　and　he　could　only　gaze　on　the　worn　face。

At　length　he　was　able　to　speak。



'What　for　didna　ye　sen'　for　me？'　he　said。　'Ye　never　tellt　me　ye　was

ailin'。'



'Because　you　were　doing　good；　Robert；　my　boy；　and　I　who　had　done　so

little　had　no　right　to　interrupt　what　you　were　doing。　　I　wonder　if

God　will　give　me　another　chance。　　I　would　fain　do　better。　　I　don't

think　I　could　sit　singing　psalms　to　all　eternity；'　he　added　with　a

smile。



'Whatever　good　I　may　do　afore　my　turn　comes；　I　hae　you　to　thank　for

't。　　Eh；　doctor；　gin　it　hadna　been　for　you！'



Robert's　feelings　overcame　him。　　He　resumed；　brokenly；



'Ye　gae　me　a　man　to　believe　in；　whan　my　ain　father　had　forsaken　me；

and　my　frien'　was　awa　to　God。　Ye　hae　made　me；　doctor。　　Wi'　meat　an'

drink　an'　learnin'　an'　siller；　an'　a'thing　at　ance；　ye　hae　made　me。'



'Eh；　Robert！'　said　the　dying　man；　half　rising　on　his　elbow；　'to

think　what　God　maks　us　a'　to　ane　anither！　　My　father　did　ten　times

for　me　what　I　hae　dune　for　you。　　As　I　lie　here　thinkin'　I　may　see

him　afore　a　week's　ower；　I'm　jist　a　bairn　again。'



As　he　spoke；　the　polish　of　his　speech　was　gone；　and　the　social

refinement　of　his　countenance　with　it。　　The　face　of　his　ancestors；

the　noble；　sensitive；　heart…full；　but　rugged；　bucolic；　and

weather…beaten　through　centuries　of　windy　ploughing；　hail…stormed

sheep…keeping；　long…paced　seed…sowing；　and　multiform　labour；　surely

not　less　honourable　in　the　sight　of　the　working　God　than　the

fighting　of　the　noble；　came　back　in　the　face　of　the　dying　physician。

》From　that　hour　to　his　death　he　spoke　the　rugged　dialect　of　his

fathers。



A　day　or　two　after　this；　Robert　again　sitting　by　his　bedside；



'I　dinna　ken；'　he　said；　'whether　it's　richtbut　I　hae　nae　fear　o'

deith；　an'　yet　I　canna　say　I'm　sure　aboot　onything。　　I　hae　seen　mony

a　ane　dee　that　cud　hae　no　faith　i'　the　Saviour；　but　I　never　saw　that

fear　that　some　gude　fowk　wud　hae　ye　believe　maun　come　at　the　last。

I　wadna　like　to　tak　to　ony　papistry；　but　I　never　cud　mak　oot　frae

the　Bibleand　I　read　mair　at　it　i'　the　jungle　than　maybe　ye　wad

thinkthat　it's　a'　ower　wi'　a　body　at　their　deith。　　I　never　heard

them　bring　foret　ony　text　but　anethe　maist　ridiculous　hash　'at

ever　ye　heardto　justifee　't。'



'I　ken　the　text　ye　mean〃As　the　tree　falleth　so　it　shall　lie；〃　or

something　like　that'at　they　say　King　Solomon　wrote；　though　better

scholars　say　his　tree　had　fa'en　mony　a　lang　year　afore　that　text　saw

the　licht。　　I　dinna　believe　sic　a　thocht　was　i'　the　man's　heid　when

he　wrote　it。　　It　is　as　ye　sayower　contemptible　to　ca'　an　argument。

I'll　read　it　to　ye　ance　mair。'



Robert　got　his　Bible；　and　read　the　following　portion　from　that

wonderful　book；　so　little　understood；　because　it　is　so　full　of

wisdomthe　Book　of　Ecclesiastes：



'Cast　thy　bread　upon　the　waters：　for　thou　shalt　find　it　after　many

days。



'Give　a　portion　to　seven；　and　also　to　eight；　for　thou　knowest　not

what　evil　shall　be　upon　the　earth。



'If　the　clouds　be　full　of　rain；　they　empty　themselves　upon　the

earth：　and　if　the　tree　fall　toward　the　south；　or　toward　the　north；

in　the　place　where　the　tree　falleth；　there　it　shall　be。



'He　that　observeth　the　wind　shall　not　sow；　and　he　that　regardeth　the

clouds　shall　not　reap。



'As　thou　knowest　not　what　is　the　way　of　the　spirit；　nor　how　the

bones　do　grow　in　the　womb　of　her　that　is　with　child：　even　so　thou

knowest　not　the　works　of　God　who　maketh　all。



'In　the　morning　sow　thy　seed；　and　in　the　evening　withhold　not　thine

hand：　for　thou　knowest　not　whether　shall　prosper；　either　this　or

that；　or　whether　they　both　shall　be　alike　good。'



'Ay；　ay；　that's　it；'　said　Dr。　Anderson。　'Weel；　I　maun　say　again　that

they're　ill　aff　for　an　argument　that　taks　that　for　ane　upo'　sic　a

momentous　subjec'。　　I　prefer　to　say；　wi'　the　same　auld　man；　that　I

know　not　the　works　of　God　who　maketh　all。　　But　I　wish　I　could　say　I

believed　onything　for　certain　sure。　　But　whan　I　think　aboot　itwad

ye　believe　't？　the　faith　o'　my　father's　mair　to　me　nor　ony　faith　o'

my　ain。　　That　soonds　strange。　　But　it's　this：　I'm　positeeve　that

that　godly　great　auld　man　kent　mair　aboot　a'　thae　t