robert falconer-第124节

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〃Is　he　so　weak　that　he　cannot　spare　the　help　of　a　weary　man？　　But　I

think　he　must　prefer　quality　to　quantity；　and　for　healthy　work　you

must　be　healthy　yourself。　　How　can　you　be　the　visible　sign　of　the

Christ…present　amongst　men；　if　you　inhabit　an　exhausted；　irritable

brain？　　Go　to　God's　infirmary　and　rest　a　while。　　Bring　back　health

from　the　country　to　those　that　cannot　go　to　it。　　If　on　the　way　it　be

transmuted　into　spiritual　forms；　so　much　the　better。　　A　little　more

of　God　will　make　up　for　a　good　deal　less　of　you。'



'What　did　he　say　to　that？'



'He　said　our　Lord　died　doing　the　will　of　his　Father。　　I　told

him〃Yes；　when　his　time　was　come；　not　sooner。　　Besides；　he　often

avoided　both　speech　and　action。〃　〃Yes；〃　he　answered；　〃but　he　could

tell　when；　and　we　cannot。〃　〃Therefore；〃　I　rejoined；　〃you　ought　to

accept　your　exhaustion　as　a　token　that　your　absence　will　be　the　best

thing　for　your　people。　　If　there　were　no　God；　then　perhaps　you　ought

to　work　till　you　drop　down　deadI　don't　know。〃'



'Is　he　gone　yet？'



'No。　He　won't　go。　　I　couldn't　persuade　him。'



'When　do　you　go？'



'To…morrow。'



'I　shall　be　ready；　if　you　really　mean　it。'



'That's　an　if　worthy　only　of　a　courtier。　　There　may　be　much　virtue

in　an　if；　as　Touchstone　says；　for　the　taking　up　of　a　quarrel；　but

that　if　is　bad　enough　to　breed　one；'　said　Falconer；　laughing。　'Be　at

the　Paddington　Station　at　noon　to…morrow。　　To　tell　the　whole　truth；

I　want　you　to　help　me　with　my　father。'



This　last　was　said　at　the　door　as　he　showed　me　out。



In　the　afternoon　we　were　nearing　Bristol。　　It　was　a　lovely　day　in

October。　　Andrew　had　been　enjoying　himself；　but　it　was　evidently

rather　the　pleasure　of　travelling　in　a　first…class　carriage　like　a

gentleman　than　any　delight　in　the　beauty　of　heaven　and　earth。　　The

country　was　in　the　rich　sombre　dress　of　decay。



'Is　it　not　remarkable；'　said　my　friend　to　me；　'that　the　older　I

grow；　I　find　autumn　affecting　me　the　more　like　spring？'



'I　am　thankful　to　say；'　interposed　Andrew；　with　a　smile　in　which　was

mingled　a　shade　of　superiority；　'that　no　change　of　the　seasons　ever

affects　me。'



'Are　you　sure　you　are　right　in　being　thankful　for　that；　father？'

asked　his　son。



His　father　gazed　at　him　for　a　moment；　seemed　to　bethink　himself

after　some　feeble　fashion　or　other；　and　rejoined；



'Well；　I　must　confess　I　did　feel　a　touch　of　the　rheumatism　this

morning。'



How　I　pitied　Falconer！　　Would　he　ever　see　of　the　travail　of　his　soul

in　this　man？　　But　he　only　smiled　a　deep　sweet　smile；　and　seemed　to

be　thinking　divine　things　in　that　great　head　of　his。



At　Bristol　we　went　on　board　a　small　steamer；　and　at　night　were

landed　at　a　little　village　on　the　coast　of　North　Devon。　　The　hotel

to　which　we　went　was　on　the　steep　bank　of　a　tumultuous　little　river；

which　tumbled　past　its　foundation　of　rock；　like　a　troop　of　watery

horses　galloping　by　with　ever…dissolving　limbs。　　The　elder　Falconer

retired　almost　as　soon　as　we　had　had　supper。　　My　friend　and　I

lighted　our　pipes；　and　sat　by　the　open　window；　for　although　the

autumn　was　so　far　advanced；　the　air　here　was　very　mild。　　For　some

time　we　only　listened　to　the　sound　of　the　waters。



'There　are　three　things；'　said　Falconer　at　last；　taking　his　pipe　out

of　his　mouth　with　a　smile；　'that　give　a　peculiarly　perfect　feeling

of　abandonment：　the　laughter　of　a　child；　a　snake　lying　across　a

fallen　branch；　and　the　rush　of　a　stream　like　this　beneath　us；　whose

only　thought　is　to　get　to　the　sea。'



We　did　not　talk　much　that　night；　however；　but　went　soon　to　bed。

None　of　us　slept　well。　　We　agreed　in　the　morning　that　the　noise　of

the　stream　had　been　too　much　for　us　all；　and　that　the　place　felt

close　and　torpid。　　Andrew　complained　that　the　ceaseless　sound

wearied　him；　and　Robert　that　he　felt　the　aimless　endlessness　of　it

more　than　was　good　for　him。　　I　confess　it　irritated　me　like　an

anodyne　unable　to　soothe。　　We　were　clearly　all　in　want　of　something

different。　　The　air　between　the　hills　clung　to　them；　hot　and

moveless。　　We　would　climb　those　hills；　and　breathe　the　air　that

flitted　about　over　their　craggy　tops。



As　soon　as　we　had　breakfasted；　we　set　out。　　It　was　soon　evident　that

Andrew　could　not　ascend　the　steep　road。　　We　returned　and　got　a

carriage。　　When　we　reached　the　top；　it　was　like　a　resurrection；　like

a　dawning　of　hope　out　of　despair。　　The　cool　friendly　wind　blew　on

our　faces；　and　breathed　strength　into　our　frames。　　Before　us　lay　the

ocean；　the　visible　type　of　the　invisible；　and　the　vessels　with　their

white　sails　moved　about　over　it　like　the　thoughts　of　men　feebly

searching　the　unknown。　　Even　Andrew　Falconer　spread　out　his　arms　to

the　wind；　and　breathed　deep；　filling　his　great　chest　full。



'I　feel　like　a　boy　again；'　he　said。



His　son　strode　to　his　side；　and　laid　his　arm　over　his　shoulders。



'So　do　I；　father；'　he　returned；　'but　it　is　because　I　have　got　you。'



The　old　man　turned　and　looked　at　him　with　a　tenderness　I　had　never

seen　on　his　face　before。　　As　soon　as　I　saw　that；　I　no　longer　doubted

that　he　could　be　saved。



We　found　rooms　in　a　farm…house　on　the　topmost　height。



'These　are　poor　little　hills；　Falconer；'　I　said。　'Yet　they　help　one

like　mountains。'



'The　whole　question　is；'　he　returned；　'whether　they　are　high　enough

to　lift　you　out　of　the　dirt。　　Here　we　are　in　the　airs　of

heaventhat　is　all　we　need。'



'They　make　me　think　how　often；　amongst　the　country　people　of

Scotland；　I　have　wondered　at　the　clay…feet　upon　which　a　golden　head

of　wisdom　stood！　　What　poor　needs；　what　humble　aims；　what　a　narrow

basement　generally；　was　sufficient　to　support　the　statues　of

pure…eyed　Faith　and　white…handed　Hope；'



'Yes；'　said　Falconer：　'he　who　is　faithful　over　a　few　things　is　a

lord　of　cities。　　It　does　not　matter　whether　you　preach　in

Westminster　Abbey；　or　teach　a　ragged　class；　so　you　be　faithful。　　The

faithfulness　is　all。'



After　an　early　dinner　we　went　out　for　a　walk；　but　we　did　not　go　far

before　we　sat　down　upon　the　grass。　　Falconer　laid　himself　at　full

length　and　gazed　upwards。



'When　I　look　like　this　into　the　blue　sky；'　he　said；　after　a　moment's

silence；　'it　seems　so　deep；　so　peaceful；　so　full　of　a　mysterious

tenderness；　that　I　could　lie　for　centuries；　and　wait　for　the　dawning

of　the　face　of　God　out　of　the　awful　loving…kindness。'



I　had　never　heard　Falconer　talk　of　his　own　present　feelings　in　this

manner；　but　glancing　at　the　face　of　his　father　with　a　sense　of　his

unfitness　to　hear　such　a　lofty　utterance；　I　saw　at　once　that　it　was

for　his　sake　that　he　had　thus　spoken。　　The　old　man　had　thrown

himself　back　too；　and　was　gazing　into　the　sky；　puzzling　himself；　I

could　see；　to　comprehend　what　his　son　could　mean。　　I　fear　he

concluded；　for　the　time；　that　Robert　was　not　gifted　with　the　amount

of　common…sense　belonging　of　right　to　the　Falconer　family；　and　that

much　religion　had　made　him　a　dreamer。　　Still；　I　thought　I　could　see

a　kind　of　awe　pass　like　a　spiritual　shadow　across　his　face　as　he

gazed　into　the　blue　gulfs　over　him。　　No　one　can　detect　the　first

beginnings　of　any　life；　and　those　of　spiritual　emotion　must　more

than　any　lie　beyond　our　ken：　there　is　infinite　room　for　hope。

Falconer　said　no　more。　　We　betook　ourselves　early　within　doors；　and

he　read　King　Lear　to　us；　expounding　the　spiritual　history　of　the

poor　old　king　after　a　fashion　I　had　never　conceivedshowing　us　how

the　said　history　was　all　compressed；　as　far　as　human　eye　could　see

of　it；　into　the　few　months　that　elapsed　between　his　abdication　and

his　death；　how　in　that　short　time　he　had　to　learn　everything　that　he

ought　to　have　been　learning　all　his　life；　and　how；　because　he　had

put　it　off　so　long；　the　lessons　that　had　then　to　be　given　him　were

awfully　severe。



I　thought　what　a　change　it　was　for　the　old　man　to　lift　his　head　into

the　air　of　thought　and　life；　out　of　the　sloughs　of　misery　in　which

he　had　been　wallowing　for　years。









CHAPTER　XVII。



IN　THE　COUNTRY。



The　next　morning　Falconer；　who　knew　the　country；　took　us　out　for　a

drive。　　We　passed　through　lanes　and　gates　out　upon　all　open　moor；

where　he　stopped　the　carriage；　and　led　us　a　few　yards　on　one　side。

Suddenly；　hundreds　of　feet　below　us；　down　what　seemed　an　almost

precipitous　descent；　we　saw　the　wood…embosomed；　stream…trodden

valley　we　had　left　the　day　before。　　Enough　had　been　cleft　and

scooped　seawards　out　of　the　lofty　table…land　to　give　room　for　a　few

little　conical　hills　with　curious　peaks　of　bare　rock。　　At　the　bases

of　these　hills　flowed　noisily　two　or　three　streams；　which　joined　in

one；　and　trotted　out　to　sea　over　rocks　and　stones。　　The　hills　and

the　sides　of　the　great　cleft　were　half　of　them　green　with　grass；　and

half　of　them　robed　in　the　autumnal　foliage　of　thick　woods。　　By　the

streams　and　in　the　woods　nestled　pretty　houses；　and　away　at　the

mouth　of　the　valley　and　the　stream　lay　the　village。　　All　around；　on

our　level；