robert falconer-第103节
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for escape from the right way。 There ought not to be an orphan
asylum in the kingdom。'
'What! Would you put them all down then?'
'God forbid。 But I would; if I could; make them all useless;'
'How could you do that?'
'I would merely enlighten the hearts of childless people as to their
privileges。'
'Which are?'
'To be fathers and mothers to the fatherless and motherless。'
'I have often wondered why more of them did not adopt children。 Why
don't they?'
'For various reasons which a real love to child nature would blow to
the windsall comprised in this; that such a child would not be
their own child。 As if ever a child could be their own! That a
child is God's is of rather more consequence than whether it is born
of this or that couple。 Their hearts would surely be glad when they
went into heaven to have the angels of the little ones that always
behold the face of their Father coming round them; though they were
not exactly their father and mother。'
'I don't know what the passage you refer to means。'
'Neither do I。 But it must mean something; if He said it。 Are you a
clergyman?'
'No。 I am only a poor teacher of mathematics and poetry; shown up
the back stairs into the nurseries of great houses。'
'A grand chance; if I may use the word。'
'I do try to wake a little enthusiasm in the sons and
daughterswithout much success; I fear。'
'Will you come and see me?' he said。
'With much pleasure。 But; as I have given you an answer; you owe me
one。'
'I do。'
'Have you adopted a child?'
'No。'
'Then you have some of your own?'
'No。'
'Then; excuse me; but why the warmth of your remarks on those who'
'I think I shall be able to satisfy you on that point; if we draw to
each other。 Meantime I must leave you。 Could you come to…morrow
evening?'
'With pleasure。'
We arranged the hour and parted。 I saw him walk into a low
public…house; and went home。
At the time appointed; I rang the bell; and was led by an elderly
woman up the stair; and shown into a large room on the
first…floorpoorly furnished; and with many signs of
bachelor…carelessness。 Mr。 Falconer rose from an old hair…covered
sofa to meet me as I entered。 I will first tell my reader something
of his personal appearance。
He was considerably above six feet in height; square…shouldered;
remarkably long in the arms; and his hands were uncommonly large and
powerful。 His head was large; and covered with dark wavy hair;
lightly streaked with gray。 His broad forehead projected over
deep…sunk eyes; that shone like black fire。 His features;
especially his Roman nose; were large; and finely; though not
delicately; modelled。 His nostrils were remarkably large and
flexile; with a tendency to slight motion: I found on further
acquaintance that when he was excited; they expanded in a wild
equine manner。 The expression of his mouth was of tender power;
crossed with humour。 He kept his lips a little compressed; which
gave a certain sternness to his countenance: but when this sternness
dissolved in a smile; it was something enchanting。 He was plainly;
rather shabbily clothed。 No one could have guessed at his
profession or social position。 He came forward and received me
cordially。 After a little indifferent talk; he asked me if I had
any other engagement for the evening。
'I never have any engagements;' I answered'at least; of a social
kind。 I am burd alane。 I know next to nobody。'
'Then perhaps you would not mind going out with me for a stroll?'
'I shall be most happy;' I answered。
There was something about the man I found exceedingly attractive; I
had very few friends; and there was besides something odd; almost
romantic; in this beginning of an intercourse: I would see what
would come of it。
'Then we'll have some supper first;' said Mr。 Falconer; and rang the
bell。
While we ate our chops
'I dare say you think it strange;' my host said; 'that without the
least claim on your acquaintance; I should have asked you to come
and see me; Mr。'
He stopped; smiling。
'My name is GordonArchie Gordon;' I said。
'Well; then; Mr。 Gordon; I confess I have a design upon you。 But
you will remember that you addressed me first。'
'You spoke first;' I said。
'Did I?'
'I did not say you spoke to me; but you spoke。I should not have
ventured to make the remark I did make; if I had not heard your
voice first。 What design have you on me?'
'That will appear in due course。 Now take a glass of wine; and
we'll set out。'
We soon found ourselves in Holborn; and my companion led the way
towards the City。 The evening was sultry and close。
'Nothing excites me move;' said Mr。 Falconer; 'than a walk in the
twilight through a crowded street。 Do you find it affect you so?'
'I cannot speak as strongly as you do;' I replied。 'But I perfectly
understand what you mean。 Why is it; do you think?'
'Partly; I fancy; because it is like the primordial chaos; a
concentrated tumult of undetermined possibilities。 The germs of
infinite adventure and result are floating around you like a
snow…storm。 You do not know what may arise in a moment and colour
all your future。 Out of this mass may suddenly start something
marvellous; or; it may be; something you have been looking for for
years。'
The same moment; a fierce flash of lightning; like a blue
sword…blade a thousand times shattered; quivered and palpitated
about us; leaving a thick darkness on the sense。 I heard my
companion give a suppressed cry; and saw him run up against a heavy
drayman who was on the edge of the path; guiding his horses with his
long whip。 He begged the man's pardon; put his hand to his head;
and murmured; 'I shall know him now。' I was afraid for a moment
that the lightning had struck him; but he assured me there was
nothing amiss。 He looked a little excited and confused; however。
I should have forgotten the incident; had he not told me
afterwardswhen I had come to know him intimatelythat in the
moment of that lightning flash; he had had a strange experience: he
had seen the form of his father; as he had seen him that Sunday
afternoon; in the midst of the surrounding light。 He was as certain
of the truth of the presentation as if a gradual revival of memory
had brought with it the clear conviction of its own accuracy。 His
explanation of the phenomenon was; that; in some cases; all that
prevents a vivid conception from assuming objectivity; is the
self…assertion of external objects。 The gradual approach of
darkness cannot surprise and isolate the phantasm; but the
suddenness of the lightning could and did; obliterating everything
without; and leaving that over which it had no power standing alone;
and therefore visible。
'But;' I ventured to ask; 'whence the minuteness of detail;
surpassing; you say; all that your memory could supply?'
'That I think was a quickening of the memory by the realism of the
presentation。 Excited by the vision; it caught at its own past; as
it were; and suddenly recalled that which it had forgotten。 In the
rapidity of all pure mental action; this at once took its part in
the apparent objectivity。'
To return to the narrative of my first evening in Falconer's
company。
It was strange how insensible the street population was to the
grandeur of the storm。 While the thunder was billowing and
bellowing over and around us
'A hundred pins for one ha'penny;' bawled a man from the gutter;
with the importance of a Cagliostro。
'Evening Star! Telegrauwff!' roared an ear…splitting urchin in my
very face。 I gave him a shove off the pavement。
'Ah! don't do that;' said Falconer。 'It only widens the crack
between him and his fellowsnot much; but a little。'
'You are right;' I said。 'I won't do it again。'
The same moment we heard a tumult in a neighbouring street。 A crowd
was execrating a policeman; who had taken a woman into custody; and
was treating her with unnecessary rudeness。 Falconer looked on for
a few moments。
'Come; policeman!' he said at length; in a tone of expostulation。
'You're rather rough; are you not? She's a woman; you know。'
'Hold your blasted humbug;' answered the man; an exceptional
specimen of the force at that time at all events; and shook the
tattered wretch; as if he would shake her out of her rags。
Falconer gently parted the crowd; and stood beside the two。
'I will help you;' he said; 'to take her to the station; if you
like; but you must not treat her that way。'
'I don't want your help;' said the policeman; 'I know you; and all
the damned lot of you。'
'Then I shall be compelled to give you a lesson;' said Falconer。
The man's only answer was a shake that made the woman cry out。
'I shall get into trouble if you