the dust-第56节

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Some　men　of　ability　have　that　purest　form　of　egotism　which　makes　one　profoundly　content　with　himself；　genuinely　indifferent　to　the　approval　or　the　disapproval　of　others。　　Norman's　vanity　had　a　certain　amount　of　alloy。　　He　genuinely　disdained　his　fellow…mentheir　timidity；　their　hypocrisy；　their　servility；　their　limited　range　of　ideas。　　He　was　indifferent　to　the　verge　of　insensibility　as　to　their　adverse　criticism。　　But　at　the　same　time　it　was　necessary　to　his　happiness　that　he　get　from　them　evidences　of　their　admiration　and　envy。　With　that　amusing　hypocrisy　which　tinges　all　human　nature；　he　concealed　from　himself　the　satisfaction；　the　joy　even；　he　got　out　of　the　showy　side　of　his　position。　And　no　feature　of　his　infatuation　for　Dorothy　surprised　him　so　much　as　the　way　it　rode　rough　shod　and　reckless　over　his　snobbishness。

With　the　fading　of　infatuation　had　come　many　reflections　upon　the　practical　aspects　of　what　he　had　done。　　It　pleased　him　with　himself　to　find　that；　in　this　first　test；　he　had　not　the　least　regret；　but　on　the　con…　trary　a　genuine　pride　in　the　courageous　independence　he　had　shownanother　and　strong　support　to　his　conviction　of　his　superiority　to　his　fellow…men。　　He　might　be　somewhat　snobbishwho　was　not？who　else　in　his　New　York　was　less　than　supersaturated　with　snobbishness？　But　snobbishness；　the　determining　quality　in　the　natures　of　all　the　women　and　most　of　the　men　he　knew；　had　shown　itself　one　of　the　incidental　qualities　in　his　own　nature。　　After　all；　reflected　he；　it　took　a　man；　a　good　deal　of　a　man；　to　do　what　he　had　done；　and　not　to　regret　it；　even　in　the　hour　of　disillusionment。　　And　it　must　be　said　for　this　egotistic　self…approval　of　his　that　like　all　his　judgments　there　was　sound　merit　of　truth　in　it。　　The　vanity　of　the　nincompoop　is　ridiculous。　The　vanity　of　the　man　of　ability　is　amusing　and　no　doubt　due　to　a　defective　point　of　view　upon　the　proportions　of　the　universe；　but　it　is　not　without　excuse；　and　those　who　laugh　might　do　well　to　discriminate　even　as　they　guffaw。

Looking　discreetly　about；　Norman　was　suddenly　confronted　by　the　face　of　Josephine　Burroughs；　only　two　tables　away。

Until　their　eyes　squarely　met　he　did　not　know　she　was　there；　or　even　in　America。　　Before　he　could　make　a　beginning　of　glancing　away；　she　gave　him　her　sweetest　smile　and　her　friendliest　bow。　　And　Dorothy；　looking　to　see　to　whom　he　was　speaking；　was　astonished　to　receive　the　same　radiance　of　cordiality。　　Norman　was　pleased　at　the　way　his　wife　dealt　with　the　situation。　She　returned　both　bow　and　smile　in　her　own　quiet；　slightly　reserved　way　of　gentle　dignity。

〃Who　was　that；　speaking？〃　asked　she。

〃Miss　Burroughs。　　You　must　remember　her。〃

He　noted　it　as　characteristic　that　she　said；　quite　sincerely：　　〃Oh；　so　it　is。　　I　didn't　remember　her。　　That　is　the　girl　you　were　engaged　to。〃

〃Yes‘the　nice　girl　uptown；'　〃　said　he。

〃I　didn't　like　her；〃　said　Dorothy；　with　evident　small　interest　in　the　subject。　　〃She　was　vain。〃

〃You　mean　you　didn't　like　her　way　of　being　vain；〃　suggested　Norman。　　〃Everyone　is　vain；　so；　if　we　disliked　for　vanity　we　should　dislike　everyone。〃

〃Yes；　it　was　her　way。　　And　just　now　she　spoke　to　us　both；　as　if　she　were　doing　us　a　favor。〃

〃Gracious；　it's　called；〃　said　he。　　〃What　of　it？　　It　does　us　no　harm　and　gives　her　about　the　only　happiness　she's　got。〃

Norman；　without　seeming　to　do　so；　noted　the　rest　of　the　Burroughs　party。　　At　Josephine's　right　sat　a　handsome　young　foreigner；　and　it　took　small　experience　of　the　world　to　discover　that　he　was　paying　court　to　her；　and　that　she　was　pleased　and　flattered。　　Norman　asked　the　waiter　who　he　was；　and　learned　that　he　came　from　the　waiter's　own　province　of　France；　was　the　Duc　de　Valdome。　　At　first　glance　Norman　had　thought　him　distinguished。　　Afterward　he　discriminated。　　There　are　several　kinds　or　degrees　of　distinction。　　There　is　distinction　of　race；　of　class；　of　family；　of　dress；　of　person。　As　Frenchman；　as　aristocrat；　as　a　scion　of　the　ancient　family　of　Valdome；　as　a　specimen　of　tailoring　and　valeting；　Miss　Burroughs's　young　man　was　distinguished。　But　in　his　own　proper　person　he　was　rather　insignificant。　The　others　at　the　table　were　Americans。　　Following　Miss　Burroughs's　cue；　they　sought　an　opportunity　to　speak　friendlily　to　Normanand　he　gave　it　them。　　His　acknowledgment　of　those　effusive　salutations　was　polite　but　restrained。

〃They　are　friends　of　yours？〃　said　Dorothy。

〃They　were；〃　said　he。　　〃And　they　may　be　again　when　they　are　friends　of　OURS。〃

〃I'm　not　very　good　at　making　friends；〃　she　warned　him。　　〃I　don't　like　many　people。〃　　This　time　her　unconscious　and　profound　egotism　pleased　him。　　Evidently　it　did　not　occur　to　her　that　she　should　be　eager　to　be　friends　with　those　people　on　any　terms；　that　the　only　question　was　whether　they　would　receive　her。

She　asked：　　〃Why　was　MissMiss　Burroughs　so　friendly？〃

〃Why　shouldn't　she　be？〃

〃But　I　thought　you　threw　her　over。〃

He　winced　at　this　crude　way　of　putting　it。　　〃On　the　contrary；　she　threw　me　over。〃

Dorothy　laughed　incredulously。　　〃I　know　better。　Mr。　Tetlow　told　me。〃

〃She　threw　me　over；〃　repeated　he　coldly。　　〃Tetlow　was　repeating　malicious　and　ignorant　gossip。〃

Dorothy　laughed　againit　was　her　second　glass　of　champagne。　　〃You　say　that　because　it's　the　honorable　thing　to　say。　　But　I　know。〃

〃I　say　it　because　it's　true；〃　said　he。

He　spoke　quietly；　but　if　she　had　drunk　many　more　than　two　glasses　of　an　unaccustomed　and　heady　liquor　she　would　have　felt　his　intonation。　　She　paled　and　shrank　and　her　slim　white　fingers　fluttered　nervously　at　the　collar　of　her　dress。　　〃I　was　only　joking；〃　she　murmured。

He　laughed　good…naturedly。　　〃Don't　look　as　if　I　had　given　you　a　whipping；〃　said　he。　　〃Surely　you're　not　afraid　of　me。〃

She　glanced　shyly　at　him；　a　smile　dancing　in　her　eyes　and　upon　her　lips。　　〃Yes；〃　she　said。　　And　after　a　pause　she　added：　　〃I　didn't　used　to　be。　　But　that　was　because　I　didn't　know　youor　much　of　anything。〃　The　smile　irradiated　her　whole　face。　　〃You　used　to　be　afraid　of　me。　　But　you　aren't；　any　more。〃

〃No；〃　said　he；　looking　straight　at　her。　　〃No；　I'm　not。〃

〃I　always　told　you　you　were　mistaken　in　what　you　thought　of　me。　　I　really　don't　amount　to　much。　　A　man　as　serious　and　as　important　as　you　are　couldn't　couldn't　care　about　me。〃

〃It's　true　you　don't　amount　to　much；　as　yet；〃　said　he。　　〃And　if　you　never　do　amount　to　much；　you'd　be　no　less　than　most　women　and　most　men。　　But　I've　an　idea　at　timesthat　you　COULD　amount　to　something。〃

He　saw　that　he　had　wounded　her　vanity；　that　her　protestations　of　humility　were　precisely　what　he　had　suspected。　　He　laughed　at　her：　　〃I　see　you　thought　I'd　contradict　you。　　But　I　can't　afford　to　be　so　amiable　now。　　And　the　first　thing　you've　got　to　get　rid　of　is　the　part　of　your　vanity　that　prevents　you　from　growing。　Vanity　of　belief　in　one's　possibilities　is　fine。　　No　one　gets　anywhere　without　it。　　But　vanity　of　belief　in　one's　present　perfectionno　one　but　a　god　could　afford　that　luxury。〃

Observing　her　closely　he　was　amusedand　pleased　to　note　that　she　was　struggling　to　compose　herself　to　endure　his　candors　as　a　necessary　part　of　the　duties　and　obligations　she　had　taken　on　herself　when　she　gave　up　and　returned　to　him。

〃What　YOU　thought　of　ME　used　to　be　the　important　thing　in　our　relations；〃　he　went　on；　in　his　way　of　raillery　that　took　all　or　nearly　all　the　sting　out　of　what　he　said；　but　none　of　its　strength。　　〃Now；　the　important　thing　is　what　I　think　of　you。　　You　are　much　younger　than　I；　especially　in　experience。　　You　are　going　to　school　to　life　with　me　as　teacher。　　You'll　dislike　the　teacher　for　the　severity　of　the　school。　　That　isn't　just；　but　it's　naturalperhaps　inevitable。　　And　pleasemy　dear　when　you　are　bitterest　over　what　YOU　have　to　put　up　with　from　MEdon't　forget　what　_I_　have　to　put　up　with　from　YOU。〃

She　was　fighting　bravely　against　angry　tears。　　As　for　him；　he　had　suddenly　become　indifferent　to　what　the　people　around　them　might　be　thinking。　　With　all　his　old　arrogance　come　back　in　full　flood；　he　was　feeling　that　he　would　live　his　own　life　in　his　own　way　and　that　those　who　didn't　approveyes；　including　Dorothy　might　do　as　they　saw　fit。　　She　said：

〃I　don't　blame　you　for　regretting　that　you　didn't　marry　Miss　Burroughs。〃

〃But　I　don't　regret　it；〃　replied　he。　　〃On　the　contrary；　I'm　glad。〃

She　glanced　hopefully　at　him。　　But　the　hopeful　expression　faded　as　he　went　on：

〃Whether　or　not　I　made　a　mistake　in　marrying　you；　I　certainly　had　an　escape　from　disaster　when　she　decided　she　preferred　a　foreigner　and　a　title。　　There's　a　good　sensible　reason　why　so　many　girls　of　her　class　more　and　more　all　the　timemarry　abroad。　　They　are　not　fit　to　be　the　wives　of　hard…working　American　husbands。　　In　fact　I've　about　reached　the　conclusion　that　of　the　girls　growing　up　nowdays　very　few　in　any　class　are　fit　to　be　American　wives。　　They're　not　big　enough。　They're　too　coarse　and　crude　in　their　tastes。　　They're　only　fit　for　the　shallow；　showy　sort　of　thingand　the　European　aristocracy　is　their　hopeand　their　place。〃

Her　small　face　had　a　fascinating　expression　of　a


｛illust。　caption　=　〃At　Josephine　s　right　sat　a　handsome　young　foreigner。〃｝


child　trying　to　understand　things　far　beyond　its　depth。　He　was　interested　in　his　own　thoug