the dust-第55节
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food; he cried: 〃Do cheer up! There's nothing to be sad aboutnothing。〃
She lifted her large eyes and gazed at him timidly。 〃What are you going to do with me?〃
〃Take you downstairs and feed you。〃
〃But I meanafterward?〃
〃Bringor sendyou up here to go to bed。〃
〃Are you going away?〃
〃Where?〃
〃Away from me。〃
He looked at her with amused eyes。 She was exquisitely lovely; never had he seen her lovelier。 It delighted him to note her charmsthe charms that had enslaved himnot a single charm missingand to feel that he was no longer their slave; was his own master again。
A strange look swept across her uncannily mobile facea look of wonder; of awe; of fear; of dread。 〃You don't even like me any more;〃 she said in her colorless way。
〃What have I done to make you think I dislike you?〃 said he pleasantly。
She gazed down in silence。
〃You need have no fear;〃 said he。 〃You are my wife。 You will be well taken care of; and you will not be annoyed。 What more can I say?〃
〃Thank you;〃 she murmured。
He winced。 She had made him feel like an unpleasant cross between an alms…giver and a bully。 〃Now;〃 said he; with forced but resolute cheerfulness; 〃we will eat; drink and be merry。〃
On the way down in the elevator he watched her out of the corner of his eye。 When they reached the hall leading to the supper room he touched her arm and halted her。 〃My dear;〃 said he in the pleasant voice which yet somehow never failed to secure attention and obedience; 〃there will be some of my acquaintances in there at supper。 I don't want them to see you with that whipped dog look。 There's no occasion for it。〃
Her lip trembled。 〃I'll do my best;〃 said she。
〃Let's see you smile;〃 laughed he。 〃You have often shown me that you know the woman's trick of wearing what feelings you choose on the outside。 So don't pretend that you've got to look as if you were about to be hung for a crime you didn't commit。 There!that's better。〃
And indeed to a casual glance she looked the happy bride tryingnot very successfullyto seem used to her husband and her new status。
〃Hold it!〃 he urged gayly。 〃I've no fancy for leading round a lovely martyr in chains。 Especially as you're about as healthy and well placed a person as I know。 And you'll feel as well as you look when you've had something to eat。〃
Whether it was obedience or the result of a decision to drop an unprofitable pose he could not tell; but as soon as they were seated and she had a bill of fare before her and was reading it; her expression of happiness lost its last suggestion of being forced。 〃Crab meat!〃 she said。 〃I love it!〃
〃Two portions of crab meat;〃 he said to the waiter with pad and pencil at attention。
〃Oh; I don't want that much;〃 she protested。
〃You forget that I am hungry;〃 rejoined he。 〃And when I am hungry; the price of food begins to go up。〃 He addressed himself to the waiter: 〃After that a broiled grousewith plenty of hominyand grilled sweet potatoesand a salad of endive and hot… house tomatoesand I know the difference between hot… house tomatoes and the other kinds。 Nextsome cheeseCoullomieresyes; you have itI got the steward to get itand toasted crackersthe round kind; not the squareand not the hard ones that unsettle the teethandwhat kind of ice; my dear?or would you prefer a fresh peach flambee?〃
〃YesI think so;〃 said Dorothy。
〃You hear; waiter?and a bottle ofthere's the head waiterask himhe knows the champagne I like。〃
As Norman had talked; in the pleasant; insistent voice; the waiter had roused from the air of mindless; mechanical sloth characteristic of the New York waiterunless and until a fee below his high expectation is offered。 When he said the final 〃very good; sir;〃 it was with the accent of real intelligence。
Dorothy was smiling; with the amusement of youth and inexperience。 〃What a lot of trouble you took about it;〃 said she。
He shrugged his shoulders。 〃Anything worth doing at all is worth taking trouble about。 You will see。 We shall get results。 The supper will be the best this house can put together。〃
〃You can have anything you want in this world; if you only can pay for it;〃 said she。
〃That's what most people think;〃 replied he。 〃But the truth is; the paying is only a small part of the art of getting what one wants。〃
She glanced nervously at him。 〃I'm beginning to realize that I'm dreadfully inexperienced;〃 said she。
〃There's nothing discouraging in that;〃 said he。 〃Lack of experience can be remedied。 But not lack of judgment。 It takes the great gift of judgment to enable one to profit by mistakes; to decide what is the real lesson of an experience。〃
〃I'm afraid I haven't any judgment; either;〃 confessed she。
〃That remains to be seen。〃
She hesitatedventured: 〃What do you think is my worst fault?〃
He shook his head laughingly。 〃We are going to have a happy supper。〃
〃Do you think I am very vain?〃 persisted she。
〃Who's been telling you so?〃
〃Mr。 Tetlow。 He gave me an awful talking to; just before I〃 She paused at the edge of the forbidden ground。 〃He didn't spare me;〃 she went on。 〃He said I was a vain; self…centered little fool。〃
〃And what did you say?〃
〃I was very angry。 I told him he had no right to accuse me of that。 I reminded him that he had never heard me say a word about myself。〃
〃And did he say that the vainest people were just that waynever speaking of themselves; never thinking of anything else?〃
〃Oh; he told you what he said;〃 cried she。
〃No;〃 laughed he。
She reddened。 〃YOU think I'm vain?〃
He made a good…humoredly satirical little bow。 〃I think you are charming;〃 said he。 〃It would be a waste of time to look at or to think of anyone else when oneself is the most charming and interesting person in the world。 Still〃 He put into his face and voice a suggestion of gravity that caught her utmost attention 〃if one is to get anywhere; is to win consideration from othersand happiness for oneselfone sim… ply must do a little thinking about othersoccasionally。〃
Her eyes lowered。 A faint color tinged her cheeks。
〃The reason most of us are so uncomfortable downright unhappy most of the timeis that we never really take our thoughts off our precious fascinating selves。 The result is that some day we find that the likingand friendshipand loveof those around us has limitsand we are left severely alone。 Of course; if one has a great deal of money; one can buy excellent imitations of liking and friendship and even loveI ought to say; especially love〃
The color flamed in her face。
〃But;〃 he went on; 〃if one is in modest circumstances or poor; one has to take care。〃
〃Or dependent;〃 she said; with one of those unexpected flashes of subtle intelligence that so complicated the study of her character。 He had been talking to amuse himself rather than with any idea of her understanding。 Her sudden bright color and her two words〃or dependent〃roused him to see that she thought he was deliberately giving her a savage lecture from the cover of general remarks。 〃With the vanity of the typical woman;〃 he said to himself; 〃she always imagines SHE is the subject of everyone's thought and talk。〃
〃Or dependent;〃 said he to her; easily。 〃I wasn't thinking of you; but yours IS a case in point。 Come; nownothing to look blue about! Here's something to eat。 No; it's for the next table。〃
〃You won't let me explain;〃 she protested; between the prudence of reproach and the candor of anger。
〃There's nothing to explain;〃 replied he。 〃Don't bother about the mistakes of yesterday。 Remember themyes。 If one has a good memory; to forget is impossiblenot to say unwise。 But there ought to be no more heat or sting in the memory of past mistakes than in the memory of last year's mosquito bites。〃
The first course of the supper arrived。 Her nervousness vanished; and he got far away from the neighborhood of the subjects that; even in remotest hint; could not but agitate her。 And as the food and the wine asserted their pacific and beatific sway; she and he steadily moved into better and better humor with each other。 Her beauty grew until it had him thinking that never; not in the most spiritual feminine conceptions of the classic painters; had he seen a loveliness more ethereal。 Her skin was so exquisite; the coloring of her hair and eyes and of her lips was so delicately fine that it gave her the fragility of things bordering upon the supernalof rare exotics; of sunset and moonbeam effects。 No; he had been under no spell of illusion as to her beauty。 It was a realitythe more fascinating because it waxed and waned not with regularity of period but capriciously。
He began to look round furtively; to see what effect this wife of his was producing on others。 These last few months; through prudence as much as through pride; he had been cultivating the habit of ignoring his surroundings; he would not invite cold salutations or obvious avoidance of speaking。 He now discovered many of his former associatesand his vanity dilated as he noted how intensely they were interested in his wife。
Some men of ability have that purest form of egotism which makes one profoundly content with himself; genuinely indifferent to the approval or the