the dust-第22节

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〃A　woman's　different。　　It　doesn't　take　much　to　stop　a　woman。　　She's　about　half　stopped　when　she　begins。〃

Ursula　was　thoroughly　alarmed。　　〃Fred；〃　she　said　earnestly；　〃you're　running　bang　into　danger。　　The　time　to　stop　is　right　now。〃

〃Can't　do　it；〃　he　said。　　〃Let's　not　talk　about　it。〃

〃Can't？　　That　word　from　YOU？〃

〃From　me；〃　replied　he。　　〃Don't　forget　helping　out　with　Josephine。　　Let's　go。〃

And　he　refused　to　be　persuaded　to　stay　onor　to　be　cajoled　or　baited　into　talking　further　of　this　secret　his　sister　saw　was　weighing　heavily。


He　was　down　town　half　an　hour　earlier　than　usual　the　next　morning。　　But　no　one　noted　it　because　his　habit　had　always　been　to　arrive　among　the　firstnot　to　set　an　example　but　to　give　his　prodigious　industry　the　fullest　swing。　　There　was　in　Turkey　a　great　poet　of　whom　it　is　said　that　he　must　have　written　twenty…　five　hours　a　day。　　Norman's　accomplishment　bulked　in　that　same　way　before　his　associates。　　He　had　not　slept　the　whole　night。　　But；　thanks　to　his　enormous　vitality；　no　trace　of　this　serious　dissipation　showed。　　The　huge　supper　he　had　eatenand　drunkthe　sleepless　night　and　the　giant　breakfast　of　fruit　and　cereal　and　chops　and　wheat　cakes　and　coffee　he　had　laid　in　to　stay　him　until　lunch　time；　would　together　have　given　pause　to　any　but　such　a　physical　organization　as　his。　　The　only　evidence　of　it　was　a　certain　slight　irritabilitybut　this　may　have　been　due　to　his　state　of　intense　self…dissatisfaction。

As　he　entered　the　main　room　his　glance　sought　the　corner　where　Miss　Hallowell　was　ensconced。　　She　happened　to　look　up　at　that　instant。　　With　a　radiant　smile　she　bowed　to　him　in　friendliest　fashion。　　He　colored　deeply；　frowned　with　annoyance；　bowed　coldly　and　strode　into　his　room。　　He　fussed　and　fretted　about　with　his　papers　for　a　few　minutes；　then　rang　the　bell。

〃Send　in　Miss　Pritchardno；　Mr。　Gowdyno；　Miss　Hallowell；〃　he　said　to　the　office　boy。　　And　then　he　looked　sharply　at　the　pert　young　face　for　possible　signs　of　secret　cynical　amusement。　　He　saw　none　such；　but　was　not　convinced。　　He　knew　too　well　how　by　a　sort　of　occult　process　the　servants；　all　the　subordinates；　round　a　person　like　himself　discover　the　most　intimate　secrets；　almost　get　the　news　before　anything　has　really　occurred。

Miss　Hallowell　appeared；　and　very　cold　and　reserved　she　looked　as　she　stood　waiting。

〃I　sent　for　you　because〃　he　began。　　He　glanced　at　the　door　to　make　sure　that　it　was　closed〃　because　I　wanted　to　hear　your　voice。〃　　And　he　laughed　boyishly。　　He　was　in　high　good　humor　now。

〃Why　did　you　speak　to　me　as　you　did　when　you　came　in？〃　said　she。

There　was　certainly　novelty　in　this　direct　attack；　this　equal　to　equal　criticism　of　his　manners。　　He　was　not　pleased　with　the　novelty；　but　at　the　same　time　he　felt　a　lack　of　the　courage　to　answer　her　as　she　deserved；　even　if　she　was　playing　a　clever　game。　　〃It　isn't　necessary　that　the　whole　office　should　know　our　private　business；〃　said　he。

She　seemed　astonished。　　〃What　private　business？〃

〃Last　night；〃　said　he；　uncertain　whether　she　was　trifling　with　him　or　was　really　the　innocent　she　pretended　to　be。　　〃If　I　were　you；　I'd　not　speak　as　friendlily　as　you　did　this　morningnot　before　people。〃

〃Why？〃　inquired　she；　her　sweet　young　face　still　more　perplexed。

〃This　isn't　a　small　town　out　West；〃　explained　he。　〃It's　New　York。　　People　misunderstandor　rather〃　He　gave　her　a　laughing；　mischievous　glance〃or　ratherthey　don't。〃

〃I　can't　see　anything　to　make　a　mystery　about；〃　declared　the　girl。　　〃Why；　you　act　as　if　there　were　something　to　be　ashamed　of　in　coming　to　see　me。〃

He　was　observing　her　sharply。　　How　could　a　girl　live　in　the　New　York　atmosphere　several　years　without　getting　a　sensible　point　of　view？　　Yet；　so　far　as　he　could　judge；　this　girl　was　perfectly　honest　in　her　ignorance。　　〃Don't　be　foolish；〃　said　he。　　〃Please　accept　the　fact　as　I　give　it　to　you。　　You　mustn't　let　people　see　everything。〃

She　made　no　attempt　to　conceal　her　dislike　for　this。　〃I　won't　be　mixed　up　in　anything　like　that；〃　said　she；　quite　gently　and　without　a　suggestion　of　pique　or　anger。　〃It　makes　me　feel　lowand　it's　horribly　common。　Either　we　are　going　to　be　friends　or　we　aren't。　　And　if　we　are；　why；　we're　friends　whenever　we　meet。　　I'm　not　ashamed　of　you。　　And　if　you　are　ashamed　of　me；　you　can　cut　me　out　altogether。〃

His　color　deepened　until　his　face　was　crimson。　　His　eyes　avoided　hers。　　〃I　was　thinking　chiefly　of　you；〃　he　saidand　he　honestly　thought　he　was　speaking　the　whole　truth。

〃Then　please　don't　do　so　any　more；〃　said　she；　turning　to　go。　　〃I　understand　about　New　York　snobbishness。　I　want　nothing　to　do　with　it。〃

He　disregarded　the　danger　of　the　door　being　opened　at　any　moment。　　He　rushed　to　her　and　took　her　reluctant　hand。　　〃You　mustn't　blame　me　for　the　ways　of　the　world。　　I　can't　change　them。　　Do　be　sensible；　dearest。　　You're　only　going　to　be　here　a　few　days　longer。　I've　got　that　plan　for　you　and　your　father　all　thought　out。　　I'll　put　it　through　at　once。　　I　don't　want　the　office　talking　scandal　about　usdo　you？〃

She　looked　at　him　pityingly。　　His　eyes　fell　before　hers。　　〃I　know　it's　a　weakness；〃　he　said；　giving　up　trying　to　deceive　her　and　himself。　　〃But　I　can't　help　it。　　I　was　brought　up　that　way。〃

〃WellI　wasn't。　　I　see　we　can　never　be　friends。〃

What　a　mess　he　had　made　of　this　affair！　　This　girl　must　be　playing　upon　him。　　In　his　folly　he　had　let　her　see　how　completely　he　was　in　her　power；　and　she　was　using　that　power　to　establish　relations　between　them　that　were　the　very　opposite　of　what　he　desiredand　must　have。　　He　must　control　himself。　　〃As　you　please；〃　he　said　coldly；　dropping　her　hand。　　〃I'm　sorry；　but　unless　you　are　reasonable　I　can　do　nothing　for　you。〃　And　he　went　to　his　desk。

She　hesitated　a　moment；　as　her　back　was　toward　him；　he　could　not　see　her　expression。　　Without　looking　round　she　went　out　of　his　office。　　It　took　all　his　strength　to　let　her　go。　　〃She's　bluffing；〃　he　muttered。　〃And　yetperhaps　she　isn't。　　There　may　be　people　like　that　left　in　New　York。〃　　Whatever　the　truth；　he　simply　must　make　a　stand。　　He　knew　women；　no　woman　had　the　least　respect　for　a　man　who　let　her　ruleand　this　woman；　relying　upon　his　weakness　for　her；　was　bent　upon　ruling。　　If　he　did　not　make　a　stand；　she　was　lost　to　him。　　If　he　did　make　a　stand；　he　could　no　more　than　lose　her。　　Lose　her！　　That　thought　made　him　sick　at　heart。　　〃What　a　fool　I　am　about　her！〃　he　cried。　　〃I　must　hurry　things　up。　　I　must　get　enough　of　her　must　get　through　it　and　back　to　my　sober　senses。〃

That　was　a　time　of　heavy　pressure　of　important　affairs。　　He　furiously　attacked　one　task　after　another；　only　to　abandon　each　in　turn。　　His　mind；　which　had　always　been　his　obedient；　very　humble　servant；　absolutely　refused　to　obey。　　He　turned　everything　over　to　his　associates　or　to　subordinates；　fighting　all　morning　against　the　longing　to　send　for　her。　　At　half　past　twelve　he　strode　out　of　the　office；　putting　on　the　air　of　the　big　man　absorbed　in　big　affairs。　　He　descended　to　the　street。　　But　instead　of　going　up　town　to　keep　an　appointment　at　a　business　lunch　he　hung　round　the　entrance　to　the　opposite　building。

She　did　not　appear　until　one　o'clock。　　Then　out　she　camewith　the　head　office　boy！the　good…looking；　young　head　office　boy。

Norman's　contempt　for　himself　there　reached　its　lowest　ebb。　　For　his　blood　boiled　with　jealousy　jealousy　of　his　head　office　boy！and　about　an　obscure　little　typewriter！　　He　followed　the　two；　keeping　to　the　other　side　of　the　street。　　Doubtless　those　who　saw　and　recognized　him　fancied　him　deep　in　thought　about　some　mighty　problem　of　corporate　law　or　policy；　as　he　moved　from　and　to　some　meeting　with　the　great　men　who　dictated　to　a　nation　of　ninety　millions　what　they　should　buy　and　how　much　they　should　pay　for　it。　　He　saw　the　two　enter　a　quick…lunch　restaurantstruggled　with　a　crack…brained　impulse　to　join　themdragged　himself　away　to　his　appointment。

He　was　never　too　amiable　in　dealing　with　his　clients；　because　he　had　found　that；　in　self…protection；　to　avoid　being　misunderstood　and　largely　increasing　the　difficulties　of　amicable　intercourse；　he　must　keep　the　feel　of　iron　very　near　the　surface。　　That　day　he　was　for　the　first　time　irascible。　　If　the　business　his　clients　were　engaged　in　had　been　less　perilous　and　his　acute　intelligence　not　indispensable；　he　would　have　cost　the　firm　dear。　　But　in　business　circles；　where　every　consideration　yields　to　that　of　material　gain；　the　man　with　the　brain　may　conduct　himself　as　he　pleasesand　usually　does　so；　when　he　has　strength　of　character。

All　afternoon　he　wrestled　with　himself　to　keep　away　from　the　office。　　He　won；　but　it　was　the　sort　of　victory　that　gives　the　winner　the　chagrin　and　despondency　of　defeat。　　At　home；　late　in　the　afternoon；　he　found　Josephine　in　the　doorway；　just　leaving。　　〃You'll　walk　home　with　mewon't　you？〃　she　said。　　And；　taken　unawares　and　intimidated　by　guilt；　he　could　think　of　no　excuse。

Some　oneprobably　a　Frenchmanhas　said　that　there　are　always　in　a　man's　life　three　womenthe　one　on　the　way　out；　the　one　that　is；　and　the　one　that　is　to　be。　　Normanever　the　industrious　trafficker　with　the　feminine　that　the　man　of　the　intense　vitality　necessary　to　a　great　career　of　action　is　apt　to　bewas　by　no　means　new　to　the　situation　in　which