the dust-第13节

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〃Oh；　I　don't　know；〃　laughed　Josephine。　　〃I　feel　queer　to…night。　　And　it　seems　to　me　you're　queer；　too。〃

〃I？　　Perhaps　rather　tired；　dearthat's　all。〃

〃Did　you　and　Miss　Hallowell　work　hard　to…day？〃

〃Oh；　bother　Miss　Hallowell。　　Let's　talk　about　ourselves。〃　And　he　drew　her　to　the　sofa　at　one　end　of　the　big　fireplace。　　〃I　wish　we　hadn't　set　the　wedding　so　far　off。〃　　And　suddenly　he　found　himself　wondering　whether　that　remark　had　been　prompted　by　eagerness　a　lover's　eagernessor　by　impatience　to　have　the　business　over　and　settled。

〃You　don't　act　a　bit　natural　to…night；　Fred。　　You　touch　me　as　if　I　were　a　stranger。〃

〃I　like　that！〃　mocked　he。　　〃A　stranger　hold　your　hand　like　this？andkiss　youlike　this？〃

She　drew　away；　suddenly　laid　her　hands　on　his　shoulders；　kissed　him　upon　the　lips　passionately；　then　looked　into　his　eyes。　　〃DO　you　love　me；　Fred？REALLY？〃

〃Why　so　earnest？〃

〃You've　had　a　great　deal　of　experience？〃

〃More　or　less。〃

〃Have　you　ever　loved　any　woman　as　you　love　me？〃

〃I've　never　loved　any　woman　but　you。　　I　never　before　wanted　to　marry　a　woman。〃

〃But　you　may　be　doing　it　becausewell；　you　might　be　tired　and　want　to　settle　down。〃

〃Do　you　believe　that？〃

〃No；　I　don't。　　But　I　want　to　hear　you　say　it　isn't　so。〃

〃Wellit　isn't　so。　　Are　you　satisfied？〃

〃I'm　frightfully　jealous　of　you；　Fred。〃

〃What　a　waste　of　time！〃

〃I've　got　something　to　confesssomething　I'm　ashamed　of。〃

〃Don't　confess；〃　cried　he；　laughing　but　showing　that　he　meant　it。　　〃Justdon't　be　wicked　again　That's　much　better　than　confession。〃

〃But　I　must　confess；〃　insisted　she。　　〃I　had　evil


｛illust。　caption　=　〃　‘Would　you　like　to　think　I　was　marrying　you　for　what　you　have？or　for　any　other　reason　whatever　but　for　what　you　are？'　〃｝


thoughts　evil　suspicions　about　you。　　I've　had　them　all　dayuntil　you　came。　　As　soon　as　I　saw　you　I　felt　bowed　into　the　dust。　　A　man　like　you；　doing　anything　so　vulgar　as　I　suspected　you　ofoh；　dearest；　I'm　SO　ashamed！〃

He　put　his　arms　round　her　and　drew　her　to　his　shoulder。　　And　the　scene　of　mimicry　in　his　office　flashed　into　his　mind；　and　the　blood　burned　in　his　cheeks。　　But　he　had　no　such　access　of　insanity　as　to　entertain　the　idea　of　confession。

〃It　was　that　typewriter　girl；〃　continued　Josephine。　She　drew　away　again　and　once　more　searched　his　face。　〃You　told　me　she　was　homely。〃

〃Not　exactly　that。〃

〃Insignificant　then。〃

〃Isn't　she？〃

〃Yesin　a　way；〃　said　Josephine；　the　condescending　note　in　her　voice　againand　in　his　mind　Miss　Hallowell's　clever　burlesque　of　that　note。　　〃But；　in　another　way　　Men　are　different　from　women。　　Now　Ia　woman　of　my　sortcouldn't　stoop　to　a　man　of　her　class。　　But　men　seem　not　to　feel　that　way。〃

〃No；〃　said　he；　irritated。　　〃They've　the　courage　to　take　what　they　want　wherever　they　find　it。　　A　man　will　take　gold　out　of　the　dirt；　because　gold　is　always　gold。　But　a　woman　waits　until　she　can　get　it　at　a　fashionable　jeweler's；　and　makes　sure　it's　made　up　in　a　fashionable　way。　　I　don't　like　to　hear　YOU　say　those　things。〃

Her　eyes　flashed。　　〃Then　you　DO　like　that　Hallowell　girl！〃　she　criedand　never　before　had　her　voice　jarred　upon　him。

〃That　Hallowell　girl　has　nothing　to　do　with　this；〃　he　rejoined。　　〃I　like　to　feel　that　you　really　love　me　that　you'd　have　taken　me　wherever　you　happened　to　find　meand　that　you'd　stick　to　me　no　matter　how　far　I　might　drop。〃

〃I　would！　　I　would！〃　she　cried；　tears　in　her　eyes。　〃Oh；　I　didn't　mean　that；　Fred。　　You　know　I　didn't　don't　you？〃

She　tried　to　put　her　arms　round　his　neck；　but　he　took　her　hands　and　held　them。　　〃Would　you　like　to　think　I　was　marrying　you　for　what　you　have？or　for　any　other　reason　whatever　but　for　what　you　are？〃

It　being　once　more　a　question　of　her　own　sex；　the　obstinate　line　appeared　round　her　mouth。　　〃But；　Fred；　I'd　not　be　ME；　if　I　werea　working　girl；〃　she　replied。

〃You　might　be　something　even　better　if　you　were；〃　retorted　he　coldly。　　〃The　only　qualities　I　don't　like　about　you　are　the　surface　qualities　that　have　been　plated　on　in　these　surroundings。　　And　if　I　thought　it　was　anything　but　just　you　that　I　was　marrying；　I'd　lose　no　time　about　leaving　you。　　I'd　not　let　myself　degrade　myself。〃

〃Fredthat　toneand　don'tplease　don't　look　at　me　like　that！〃　she　begged。

But　his　powerful　glance　searched　on。　　He　said；　〃Is　it　possible　that　you　and　I　are　deceiving　ourselvesand　that　we'll　marry　and　wake　upand　be　bored　and　dissatisfiedlike　so　many　of　our　friends？〃

〃Nono；〃　she　cried；　wildly　agitated。　　〃Fred；　dear　we　love　each　other。　　You　know　we　do。　　I　don't　use　words　as　well　as　you　doand　my　mind　works　in　a　queer　way　　Perhaps　I　didn't　mean　what　I　said。　　No　matter。　If　my　love　were　put　to　the　testFred；　I　don't　ask　anything　more　than　that　your　love　for　me　would　stand　the　tests　my　love　for　you　would　stand。〃

He　caught　her　in　his　arms　and　kissed　her　with　more　passion　than　he　had　ever　felt　for　her　before。　　〃I　believe　you；　Jo；〃　he　said。　　〃I　believe　you。〃

〃I　love　you　sothat　I　could　be　jealous　even　of　herof　that　little　girl　in　your　office。　　Fred；　I　didn't　confess　all　the　truth。　　It　isn't　true　that　I　thought　her　a　nobody。　　When　she　first　came　in　hereit　was　in　this　very　roomI　thought　she　was　as　near　nothing　as　any　girl　I'd　ever　seen。　　Then　she　began　to　change　as　you　said。　　Andoh；　dearest；　I　can't　help　hating　her！　And　when　I　tried　to　get　her　away　from　you；　and　she　wouldn't　come〃

〃Away　from　me！〃　he　cried；　laughing。

〃I　felt　as　if　it　were　like　that；〃　she　pleaded。　　〃And　she　wouldn't　comeand　treated　me　as　if　she　were　queen　and　I　servantonly　politely；　I　must　say；　for　Heaven　knows　I　don't　want　to　injure　her〃

〃Shall　I　have　her　discharged？〃

〃Fred！〃　exclaimed　she　indignantly。　　〃Do　you　think　I　could　do　such　a　thing？〃

〃She'd　easily　get　another　job　as　good。　　Tetlow　can　find　her　one。　　Does　that　satisfy　you？〃

〃No；〃　she　confessed。　　〃It　makes　me　feel　meaner　than　ever。〃

〃Now；　Jo；　let's　drop　this　foolish　seriousness　about　nothing　at　all。　　Let's　drop　it　for　good。〃

〃Nothing　at　allthat's　exactly　it。　　I　can't　understand；　Fred。　　What　is　there　about　her　that　makes　her　haunt　me？　　That　makes　me　afraid　she'll　haunt　you？〃

Norman　felt　a　sudden　thrill。　　He　tightened　his　hold　upon　her　hands　because　his　impulse　had　been　to　release　them。　　〃How　absurd！〃　he　said；　rather　noisily。

〃Isn't　it；　though？〃　echoed　she。　　〃Think　of　you　and　me　almost　quarreling　about　such　a　trivial　person。〃　Her　laugh　died　away。　　She　shivered；　cried；　〃Fred；　I'm　superstitious　about　her。　　I'mI'mAFRAID！〃　　And　she　flung　herself　wildly　into　his　arms。

〃She　IS　somewhat　uncanny；〃　said　he；　with　a　lightness　he　was　far　from　feeling。　　〃But；　dearit　isn't　complimentary　to　me；　is　it？〃

〃Forgive　me；　dearestI　don't　mean　that。　　I　couldn't　mean　that。　　ButI　LOVE　you　so。　　Ever　since　I　began　to　love　you　I've　been　looking　round　for　something　to　be　afraid　of。　　And　this　is　the　first　chance　you've　given　me。〃

〃I'VE　given　you！〃　mocked　he。

She　laughed　hysterically。　　〃I　mean　the　first　chance　I've　had。　　And　I'm　doing　the　best　I　can　with　it。〃

They　were　in　good　spirits　now；　and　for　the　rest　of　the　evening　were　as　loverlike　as　always；　the　nearer　together　for　the　bit　of　rough　sea　they　had　weathered　so　nicely。　　Neither　spoke　of　Miss　Hallowell。　　Each　had　privately　resolved　never　to　speak　of　her　to　the　other　again。　　Josephine　was　already　regretting　the　frankness　that　had　led　her　to　expose　a　not　too　attractive　part　of　herselfand　to　exaggerate　in　his　eyes　the　importance　of　a　really　insignificant　chit　of　a　typewriter。　　When　he　went　to　bed　that　night　he　was　resolved　to　have　Tetlow　find　Miss　Hallowell　a　job　in　another　office。

〃She　certainly　IS　uncanny；〃　he　said　to　himself。　　〃I　wonder　whyI　wonder　what　the　secret　of　her　is。　　She's　the　first　woman　I　ever　ran　across　who　had　a　real　secret。　IS　it　real？　　I　wonder。〃



V


TOWARD　noon　the　following　day　Norman；　suddenly　in　need　of　a　stenographer；　sent　out　for　Miss　Purdy；　one　of　the　three　experts　at　eighteen　dollars　a　week　who　did　most　of　the　important　and　very　confidential　work　for　the　heads　of　the　firm。　　When　his　door　opened　again　he　saw　not　Miss　Purdy　but　Miss　Hallowell。

〃Miss　Purdy　is　sick　to…day；〃　said　she。　　〃Mr。　Tetlow　wishes　to　know　if　I　would　do。〃

Norman　shifted　uneasily　in　his　chair。　　〃Just　as　wellperfectlycertainly；〃　he　stammered。　　He　was　not　looking　at　herseemed　wholly　occupied　with　the　business　he　was　preparing　to　dispatch。

She　seated　herself　in　the　usual　place；　at　the　opposite　side　of　the　broad　table。　　With　pencil　poised　she　fixed　her　gaze　upon　the　unmarred　page　of　her　open　notebook。　Instead　of　abating；　his　confusion　increased。　　He　could　not　think　of　the　subject　about　which　he　wished　to　dictate。　　First；　he　noted　how　long　her　lashes　wereand　darker　than　her　hair；　as　were　her　well…drawn　eyebrows　also。　　Never　had　he　seen　so　white　a　skin　or　one　so　smooth。　　She　happened　to　be　wearing　a　blouse　with　a　Dutch　neck　that　day。　　What　a　superb　throat！　　What　a　line　of　beauty　its　gently　swelling　curve　made。　　Then　his　glance　fell　upon　her　lips；　rosy…red；　slightly　pouted。　And　what　masses　of　dead　gold　hairno；　not　gold；　but　of　the　white…gray　of　wood　ashes；　and　tinted　with　gold！　No　wonder　it　was　difficult　to　tell　just　what　color　her　hair　was。　　Hair　like　that　was　ready　to　be　of　any　color。　And　there　were　her　arms；　so　symmetrical　in　her