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第13节

the dust-第13节

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〃Oh; I don't know;〃 laughed Josephine。  〃I feel queer to…night。  And it seems to me you're queer; too。〃

〃I?  Perhaps rather tired; dearthat's all。〃

〃Did you and Miss Hallowell work hard to…day?〃

〃Oh; bother Miss Hallowell。  Let's talk about ourselves。〃 And he drew her to the sofa at one end of the big fireplace。  〃I wish we hadn't set the wedding so far off。〃  And suddenly he found himself wondering whether that remark had been prompted by eagerness a lover's eagernessor by impatience to have the business over and settled。

〃You don't act a bit natural to…night; Fred。  You touch me as if I were a stranger。〃

〃I like that!〃 mocked he。  〃A stranger hold your hand like this?andkiss youlike this?〃

She drew away; suddenly laid her hands on his shoulders; kissed him upon the lips passionately; then looked into his eyes。  〃DO you love me; Fred?REALLY?〃

〃Why so earnest?〃

〃You've had a great deal of experience?〃

〃More or less。〃

〃Have you ever loved any woman as you love me?〃

〃I've never loved any woman but you。  I never before wanted to marry a woman。〃

〃But you may be doing it becausewell; you might be tired and want to settle down。〃

〃Do you believe that?〃

〃No; I don't。  But I want to hear you say it isn't so。〃

〃Wellit isn't so。  Are you satisfied?〃

〃I'm frightfully jealous of you; Fred。〃

〃What a waste of time!〃

〃I've got something to confesssomething I'm ashamed of。〃

〃Don't confess;〃 cried he; laughing but showing that he meant it。  〃Justdon't be wicked again That's much better than confession。〃

〃But I must confess;〃 insisted she。  〃I had evil


{illust。 caption = 〃 ‘Would you like to think I was marrying you for what you have?or for any other reason whatever but for what you are?' 〃}


thoughts evil suspicions about you。  I've had them all dayuntil you came。  As soon as I saw you I felt bowed into the dust。  A man like you; doing anything so vulgar as I suspected you ofoh; dearest; I'm SO ashamed!〃

He put his arms round her and drew her to his shoulder。  And the scene of mimicry in his office flashed into his mind; and the blood burned in his cheeks。  But he had no such access of insanity as to entertain the idea of confession。

〃It was that typewriter girl;〃 continued Josephine。 She drew away again and once more searched his face。 〃You told me she was homely。〃

〃Not exactly that。〃

〃Insignificant then。〃

〃Isn't she?〃

〃Yesin a way;〃 said Josephine; the condescending note in her voice againand in his mind Miss Hallowell's clever burlesque of that note。  〃But; in another way  Men are different from women。  Now Ia woman of my sortcouldn't stoop to a man of her class。  But men seem not to feel that way。〃

〃No;〃 said he; irritated。  〃They've the courage to take what they want wherever they find it。  A man will take gold out of the dirt; because gold is always gold。 But a woman waits until she can get it at a fashionable jeweler's; and makes sure it's made up in a fashionable way。  I don't like to hear YOU say those things。〃

Her eyes flashed。  〃Then you DO like that Hallowell girl!〃 she criedand never before had her voice jarred upon him。

〃That Hallowell girl has nothing to do with this;〃 he rejoined。  〃I like to feel that you really love me that you'd have taken me wherever you happened to find meand that you'd stick to me no matter how far I might drop。〃

〃I would!  I would!〃 she cried; tears in her eyes。 〃Oh; I didn't mean that; Fred。  You know I didn't don't you?〃

She tried to put her arms round his neck; but he took her hands and held them。  〃Would you like to think I was marrying you for what you have?or for any other reason whatever but for what you are?〃

It being once more a question of her own sex; the obstinate line appeared round her mouth。  〃But; Fred; I'd not be ME; if I werea working girl;〃 she replied。

〃You might be something even better if you were;〃 retorted he coldly。  〃The only qualities I don't like about you are the surface qualities that have been plated on in these surroundings。  And if I thought it was anything but just you that I was marrying; I'd lose no time about leaving you。  I'd not let myself degrade myself。〃

〃Fredthat toneand don'tplease don't look at me like that!〃 she begged。

But his powerful glance searched on。  He said; 〃Is it possible that you and I are deceiving ourselvesand that we'll marry and wake upand be bored and dissatisfiedlike so many of our friends?〃

〃Nono;〃 she cried; wildly agitated。  〃Fred; dear we love each other。  You know we do。  I don't use words as well as you doand my mind works in a queer way  Perhaps I didn't mean what I said。  No matter。 If my love were put to the testFred; I don't ask anything more than that your love for me would stand the tests my love for you would stand。〃

He caught her in his arms and kissed her with more passion than he had ever felt for her before。  〃I believe you; Jo;〃 he said。  〃I believe you。〃

〃I love you sothat I could be jealous even of herof that little girl in your office。  Fred; I didn't confess all the truth。  It isn't true that I thought her a nobody。  When she first came in hereit was in this very roomI thought she was as near nothing as any girl I'd ever seen。  Then she began to change as you said。  Andoh; dearest; I can't help hating her! And when I tried to get her away from you; and she wouldn't come〃

〃Away from me!〃 he cried; laughing。

〃I felt as if it were like that;〃 she pleaded。  〃And she wouldn't comeand treated me as if she were queen and I servantonly politely; I must say; for Heaven knows I don't want to injure her〃

〃Shall I have her discharged?〃

〃Fred!〃 exclaimed she indignantly。  〃Do you think I could do such a thing?〃

〃She'd easily get another job as good。  Tetlow can find her one。  Does that satisfy you?〃

〃No;〃 she confessed。  〃It makes me feel meaner than ever。〃

〃Now; Jo; let's drop this foolish seriousness about nothing at all。  Let's drop it for good。〃

〃Nothing at allthat's exactly it。  I can't understand; Fred。  What is there about her that makes her haunt me?  That makes me afraid she'll haunt you?〃

Norman felt a sudden thrill。  He tightened his hold upon her hands because his impulse had been to release them。  〃How absurd!〃 he said; rather noisily。

〃Isn't it; though?〃 echoed she。  〃Think of you and me almost quarreling about such a trivial person。〃 Her laugh died away。  She shivered; cried; 〃Fred; I'm superstitious about her。  I'mI'mAFRAID!〃  And she flung herself wildly into his arms。

〃She IS somewhat uncanny;〃 said he; with a lightness he was far from feeling。  〃But; dearit isn't complimentary to me; is it?〃

〃Forgive me; dearestI don't mean that。  I couldn't mean that。  ButI LOVE you so。  Ever since I began to love you I've been looking round for something to be afraid of。  And this is the first chance you've given me。〃

〃I'VE given you!〃 mocked he。

She laughed hysterically。  〃I mean the first chance I've had。  And I'm doing the best I can with it。〃

They were in good spirits now; and for the rest of the evening were as loverlike as always; the nearer together for the bit of rough sea they had weathered so nicely。  Neither spoke of Miss Hallowell。  Each had privately resolved never to speak of her to the other again。  Josephine was already regretting the frankness that had led her to expose a not too attractive part of herselfand to exaggerate in his eyes the importance of a really insignificant chit of a typewriter。  When he went to bed that night he was resolved to have Tetlow find Miss Hallowell a job in another office。

〃She certainly IS uncanny;〃 he said to himself。  〃I wonder whyI wonder what the secret of her is。  She's the first woman I ever ran across who had a real secret。 IS it real?  I wonder。〃



V


TOWARD noon the following day Norman; suddenly in need of a stenographer; sent out for Miss Purdy; one of the three experts at eighteen dollars a week who did most of the important and very confidential work for the heads of the firm。  When his door opened again he saw not Miss Purdy but Miss Hallowell。

〃Miss Purdy is sick to…day;〃 said she。  〃Mr。 Tetlow wishes to know if I would do。〃

Norman shifted uneasily in his chair。  〃Just as wellperfectlycertainly;〃 he stammered。  He was not looking at herseemed wholly occupied with the business he was preparing to dispatch。

She seated herself in the usual place; at the opposite side of the broad table。  With pencil poised she fixed her gaze upon the unmarred page of her open notebook。 Instead of abating; his confusion increased。  He could not think of the subject about which he wished to dictate。  First; he noted how long her lashes wereand darker than her hair; as were her well…drawn eyebrows also。  Never had he seen so white a skin or one so smooth。  She happened to be wearing a blouse with a Dutch neck that day。  What a superb throat!  What a line of beauty its gently swelling curve made。  Then his glance fell upon her lips; rosy…red; slightly pouted。 And what masses of dead gold hairno; not gold; but of the white…gray of wood ashes; and tinted with gold! No wonder it was difficult to tell just what color her hair was。  Hair like that was ready to be of any color。 And there were her arms; so symmetrical in her

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