the way of all flesh-第90节

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had　been　going　through　the　waters　of　misery；　and　the　Lord　had　turned
them　to　a　well。

〃'Oh　yes；　Susan；'　said　she；　'be　sure　it　is　so。　　Whom　the　Lord　loveth
he　chasteneth；　Susan；'　and　here　she　began　to　cry　again。　　'As　for
him；'　she　went　on；　'he　has　made　his　bed；　and　he　must　lie　on　it；　when
he　comes　out　of　prison　his　pa　will　know　what　is　best　to　be　done；　and
Master　Ernest　may　be　thankful　that　he　has　a　pa　so　good　and　so　long…
suffering。'

〃Then　when　you　would　not　see　them；　that　was　a　cruel　blow　to　your　ma。
Your　pa　did　not　say　anything；　you　know　your　pa　never　does　say　very
much　unless　he's　downright　waxy　for　the　time；　but　your　ma　took　on
dreadful　for　a　few　days；　and　I　never　saw　the　master　look　so　black；
but；　bless　you；　it　all　went　off　in　a　few　days；　and　I　don't　know　that
there's　been　much　difference　in　either　of　them　since　then；　not　till
your　ma　was　took　ill。〃

On　the　night　of　his　arrival　he　had　behaved　well　at　family　prayers；
as　also　on　the　following　morning；　his　father　read　about　David's
dying　injunctions　to　Solomon　in　the　matter　of　Shimei；　but　he　did　not
mind　it。　　In　the　course　of　the　day；　however；　his　corns　had　been
trodden　on　so　many　times　that　he　was　in　a　misbehaving　humour；　on
this　the　second　night　after　his　arrival。　　He　knelt　next　Charlotte
and　said　the　responses　perfunctorily；　not　so　perfunctorily　that　she
should　know　for　certain　that　he　was　doing　it　maliciously；　but　so
perfunctorily　as　to　make　her　uncertain　whether　he　might　be　malicious
or　not；　and　when　he　had　to　pray　to　be　made　truly　honest　and
conscientious　he　emphasised　the　〃truly。〃　　I　do　not　know　whether
Charlotte　noticed　anything；　but　she　knelt　at　some　distance　from　him
during　the　rest　of　his　stay。　　He　assures　me　that　this　was　the　only
spiteful　thing　he　did　during　the　whole　time　he　was　at　Battersby。

When　he　went　up　to　his　bedroom；　in　which；　to　do　them　justice；　they
had　given　him　a　fire；　he　noticed　what　indeed　he　had　noticed　as　soon
as　he　was　shown　into　it　on　his　arrival；　that　there　was　an
illuminated　card　framed　and　glazed　over　his　bed　with　the　words；　〃Be
the　day　weary　or　be　the　day　long；　at　last　it　ringeth　to　evensong。〃
He　wondered　to　himself　how　such　people　could　leave　such　a　card　in　a
room　in　which　their　visitors　would　have　to　spend　the　last　hours　of
their　evening；　but　he　let　it　alone。　　〃There's　not　enough　difference
between　'weary'　and　'long'　to　warrant　an　'or；'〃　he　said；　〃but　I
suppose　it　is　all　right。〃　　I　believe　Christina　had　bought　the　card
at　a　bazaar　in　aid　of　the　restoration　of　a　neighbouring　church；　and
having　been　bought　it　had　got　to　be　usedbesides；　the　sentiment　was
so　touching　and　the　illumination　was　really　lovely。　　Anyhow；　no
irony　could　be　more　complete　than　leaving　it　in　my　hero's　bedroom；
though　assuredly　no　irony　had　been　intended。

On　the　third　day　after　Ernest's　arrival　Christina　relapsed　again。
For　the　last　two　days　she　had　been　in　no　pain　and　had　slept　a　good
deal；　her　son's　presence　still　seemed　to　cheer　her；　and　she　often
said　how　thankful　she　was　to　be　surrounded　on　her　death…bed　by　a
family　so　happy；　so　God…fearing；　so　united；　but　now　she　began　to
wander；　and；　being　more　sensible　of　the　approach　of　death；　seemed
also　more　alarmed　at　the　thoughts　of　the　Day　of　Judgment。

She　ventured　more　than　once　or　twice　to　return　to　the　subject　of　her
sins；　and　implored　Theobald　to　make　quite　sure　that　they　were
forgiven　her。　　She　hinted　that　she　considered　his　professional
reputation　was　at　stake；　it　would　never　do　for　his　own　wife　to　fail
in　securing　at　any　rate　a　pass。　　This　was　touching　Theobald　on　a
tender　spot；　he　winced　and　rejoined　with　an　impatient　toss　of　the
head；　〃But；　Christina；　they　ARE　forgiven　you〃；　and　then　he
entrenched　himself　in　a　firm　but　dignified　manner　behind　the　Lord's
prayer。　　When　he　rose　he　left　the　room；　but　called　Ernest　out　to　say
that　he　could　not　wish　it　prolonged。

Joey　was　no　more　use　in　quieting　his　mother's　anxiety　than　Theobald
had　beenindeed　he　was　only　Theobald　and　water；　at　last　Ernest；　who
had　not　liked　interfering；　took　the　matter　in　hand；　and；　sitting
beside　her；　let　her　pour　out　her　grief　to　him　without　let　or
hindrance。

She　said　she　knew　she　had　not　given　up　all　for　Christ's　sake；　it　was
this　that　weighed　upon　her。　　She　had　given　up　much；　and　had　always
tried　to　give　up　more　year　by　year；　still　she　knew　very　well　that
she　had　not　been　so　spiritually　minded　as　she　ought　to　have　been。
If　she　had；　she　should　probably　have　been　favoured　with　some　direct
vision　or　communication；　whereas；　though　God　had　vouchsafed　such
direct　and　visible　angelic　visits　to　one　of　her　dear　children；　yet
she　had　had　none　such　herselfnor　even　had　Theobald。

She　was　talking　rather　to　herself　than　to　Ernest　as　she　said　these
words；　but　they　made　him　open　his　ears。　　He　wanted　to　know　whether
the　angel　had　appeared　to　Joey　or　to　Charlotte。　　He　asked　his
mother；　but　she　seemed　surprised；　as　though　she　expected　him　to　know
all　about　it；　then；　as　if　she　remembered；　she　checked　herself　and
said；　〃Ah！　yesyou　know　nothing　of　all　this；　and　perhaps　it　is　as
well。〃　　Ernest　could　not　of　course　press　the　subject；　so　he　never
found　out　which　of　his　near　relations　it　was　who　had　had　direct
communication　with　an　immortal。　　The　others　never　said　anything　to
him　about　it；　though　whether　this　was　because　they　were　ashamed；　or
because　they　feared　he　would　not　believe　the　story　and　thus　increase
his　own　damnation；　he　could　not　determine。

Ernest　has　often　thought　about　this　since。　　He　tried　to　get　the
facts　out　of　Susan；　who　he　was　sure　would　know；　but　Charlotte　had
been　beforehand　with　him。　　〃No；　Master　Ernest；〃　said　Susan；　when　he
began　to　question　her；　〃your　ma　has　sent　a　message　to　me　by　Miss
Charlotte　as　I　am　not　to　say　nothing　at　all　about　it；　and　I　never
will。〃　　Of　course　no　further　questioning　was　possible。　　It　had　more
than　once　occurred　to　Ernest　that　Charlotte　did　not　in　reality
believe　more　than　he　did　himself；　and　this　incident　went　far　to
strengthen　his　surmises；　but　he　wavered　when　he　remembered　how　she
had　misdirected　the　letter　asking　for　the　prayers　of　the
congregation。　　I　suppose；〃　he　said　to　himself　gloomily；　〃she　does
believe　in　it　after　all。〃

Then　Christina　returned　to　the　subject　of　her　own　want　of　spiritual…
mindedness；　she　even　harped　upon　the　old　grievance　of　her　having
eaten　black　puddingstrue；　she　had　given　them　up　years　ago；　but　for
how　many　years　had　she　not　persevered　in　eating　them　after　she　had
had　misgivings　about　their　having　been　forbidden！　　Then　there　was
something　that　weighed　on　her　mind　that　had　taken　place　before　her
marriage；　and　she　should　like　…

Ernest　interrupted：　　〃My　dear　mother；〃　he　said；　〃you　are　ill　and
your　mind　is　unstrung；　others　can　now　judge　better　about　you　than
you　can；　I　assure　you　that　to　me　you　seem　to　have　been　the　most
devotedly　unselfish　wife　and　mother　that　ever　lived。　　Even　if　you
have　not　literally　given　up　all　for　Christ's　sake；　you　have　done　so
practically　as　far　as　it　was　in　your　power；　and　more　than　this　is
not　required　of　anyone。　　I　believe　you　will　not　only　be　a　saint；　but
a　very　distinguished　one。〃

At　these　words　Christina　brightened。　　〃You　give　me　hope；　you　give　me
hope；〃　she　cried；　and　dried　her　eyes。　　She　made　him　assure　her　over
and　over　again　that　this　was　his　solemn　conviction；　she　did　not　care
about　being　a　distinguished　saint　now；　she　would　be　quite　content　to
be　among　the　meanest　who　actually　got　into　heaven；　provided　she
could　make　sure　of　escaping　that　awful　Hell。　　The　fear　of　this
evidently　was　omnipresent　with　her；　and　in　spite　of　all　Ernest　could
say　he　did　not　quite　dispel　it。　　She　was　rather　ungrateful；　I　must
confess；　for　after　more　than　an　hour's　consolation　from　Ernest　she
prayed　for　him　that　he　might　have　every　blessing　in　this　world；
inasmuch　as　she　always　feared　that　he　was　the　only　one　of　her
children　whom　she　should　never　meet　in　heaven；　but　she　was　then
wandering；　and　was　hardly　aware　of　his　presence；　her　mind　in　fact
was　reverting　to　states　in　which　it　had　been　before　her　illness。

On　Sunday　Ernest　went　to　church　as　a　matter　of　course；　and　noted
that　the　ever　receding　tide　of　Evangelicalism　had　ebbed　many　a　stage
lower；　even　during　the　few　years　of　his　absence。　　His　father　used　to
walk　to　the　church　through　the　Rectory　garden；　and　across　a　small
intervening　field。　　He　had　been　used　to　walk　in　a　tall　hat；　his
Master's　gown；　and　wearing　a　pair　of　Geneva　bands。　　Ernest　noticed
that　the　bands　were　worn　no　longer；　and　lo！　greater　marvel　still；
Theobald　did　not　preach　in　his　Master's　gown；　but　in　a　surplice。
The　whole　character　of　the　service　was　changed；　you　could　not　say　it
was　high　even　now；　for　high…church　Theobald　could　never　under　any
circumstances　become；　but　the　old　easy…going　slovenliness；　if　I　may
say　so；　was　gone　for　ever。　　The　orchestral　accompaniments　to　the
hymns　had　disappeared　while　my　hero　was　yet　a　boy；　but　there　had
been　no　chanting　for　some　years　after　the　harmonium　had　been
introduced。　　While　Ernest　was　at　Cambridge；　Charlotte　and　Christina
had　prevailed　on　Theobald　to　allow　the　canticles　to　be　sung；　and
sung　they　were　to　old…fashioned　double　chants　by　Lord　Mornington　and
Dr　Dupuis　and　others。