the way of all flesh-第86节

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him　more　determinedly　perhaps　than　with　any　other　living　person；　he
thanked　him　in　a　low　hurried　voice　and　pressed　his　hand；　while　tears
came　into　his　eyes　in　spite　of　all　his　efforts　to　repress　them。　　〃If
we　meet　again；〃　he　said；　〃do　not　look　at　me；　but　if　hereafter　you
hear　of　me　writing　things　you　do　not　like；　think　of　me　as　charitably
as　you　can；〃　and　so　they　parted。

〃Towneley　is　a　good　fellow；〃　said　I；　gravely；　〃and　you　should　not
have　cut　him。〃

〃Towneley；〃　he　answered；　〃is　not　only　a　good　fellow；　but　he　is
without　exception　the　very　best　man　I　ever　saw　in　my　lifeexcept；〃
he　paid　me　the　compliment　of　saying；　〃yourself；　Towneley　is　my
notion　of　everything　which　I　should　most　like　to　bebut　there　is　no
real　solidarity　between　us。　　I　should　be　in　perpetual　fear　of　losing
his　good　opinion　if　I　said　things　he　did　not　like；　and　I　mean　to　say
a　great　many　things；〃　he　continued　more　merrily；　〃which　Towneley
will　not　like。〃

A　man；　as　I　have　said　already；　can　give　up　father　and　mother　for
Christ's　sake　tolerably　easily　for　the　most　part；　but　it　is　not　so
easy　to　give　up　people　like　Towneley。



CHAPTER　LXXXI



So　he　fell　away　from　all　old　friends　except　myself　and　three　or　four
old　intimates　of　my　own；　who　were　as　sure　to　take　to　him　as　he　to
them；　and　who　like　myself　enjoyed　getting　hold　of　a　young　fresh
mind。　　Ernest　attended　to　the　keeping　of　my　account　books　whenever
there　was　anything　which　could　possibly　be　attended　to；　which　there
seldom　was；　and　spent　the　greater　part　of　the　rest　of　his　time　in
adding　to　the　many　notes　and　tentative　essays　which　had　already
accumulated　in　his　portfolios。　　Anyone　who　was　used　to　writing　could
see　at　a　glance　that　literature　was　his　natural　development；　and　I
was　pleased　at　seeing　him　settle　down　to　it　so　spontaneously。　　I　was
less　pleased；　however；　to　observe　that　he　would　still　occupy　himself
with　none　but　the　most　serious；　I　had　almost　said　solemn；　subjects；
just　as　he　never　cared　about　any　but　the　most　serious　kind　of　music。

I　said　to　him　one　day　that　the　very　slender　reward　which　God　had
attached　to　the　pursuit　of　serious　inquiry　was　a　sufficient　proof
that　He　disapproved　of　it；　or　at　any　rate　that　He　did　not　set　much
store　by　it　nor　wish　to　encourage　it。

He　said：　　〃Oh；　don't　talk　about　rewards。　　Look　at　Milton；　who　only
got　5　pounds　for　'Paradise　Lost。'〃

〃And　a　great　deal　too　much；〃　I　rejoined　promptly。　　〃I　would　have
given　him　twice　as　much　myself　not　to　have　written　it　at　all。〃

Ernest　was　a　little　shocked。　　〃At　any　rate；〃　he　said　laughingly；　〃I
don't　write　poetry。〃

This　was　a　cut　at　me；　for　my　burlesques　were；　of　course；　written　in
rhyme。　　So　I　dropped　the　matter。

After　a　time　he　took　it　into　his　head　to　re…open　the　question　of　his
getting　300　pounds　a　year　for　doing；　as　he　said；　absolutely　nothing；
and　said　he　would　try　to　find　some　employment　which　should　bring　him
in　enough　to　live　upon。

I　laughed　at　this　but　let　him　alone。　　He　tried　and　tried　very　hard
for　a　long　while；　but　I　need　hardly　say　was　unsuccessful。　　The　older
I　grow；　the　more　convinced　I　become　of　the　folly　and　credulity　of
the　public；　but　at　the　same　time　the　harder　do　I　see　it　is　to　impose
oneself　upon　that　folly　and　credulity。

He　tried　editor　after　editor　with　article　after　article。　　Sometimes
an　editor　listened　to　him　and　told　him　to　leave　his　articles；　he
almost　invariably；　however；　had　them　returned　to　him　in　the　end　with
a　polite　note　saying　that　they　were　not　suited　for　the　particular
paper　to　which　he　had　sent　them。　　And　yet　many　of　these　very
articles　appeared　in　his　later　works；　and　no　one　complained　of　them；
not　at　least　on　the　score　of　bad　literary　workmanship。　　〃I　see；〃　he
said　to　me　one　day；　〃that　demand　is　very　imperious；　and　supply　must
be　very　suppliant。〃

Once；　indeed；　the　editor　of　an　important　monthly　magazine　accepted
an　article　from　him；　and　he　thought　he　had　now　got　a　footing　in　the
literary　world。　　The　article　was　to　appear　in　the　next　issue　but
one；　and　he　was　to　receive　proof　from　the　printers　in　about　ten　days
or　a　fortnight；　but　week　after　week　passed　and　there　was　no　proof；
month　after　month　went　by　and　there　was　still　no　room　for　Ernest's
article；　at　length　after　about　six　months　the　editor　one　morning
told　him　that　he　had　filled　every　number　of　his　review　for　the　next
ten　months；　but　that　his　article　should　definitely　appear。　　On　this
he　insisted　on　having　his　MS。　returned　to　him。

Sometimes　his　articles　were　actually　published；　and　he　found　the
editor　had　edited　them　according　to　his　own　fancy；　putting　in　jokes
which　he　thought　were　funny；　or　cutting　out　the　very　passage　which
Ernest　had　considered　the　point　of　the　whole　thing；　and　then；　though
the　articles　appeared；　when　it　came　to　paying　for　them　it　was
another　matter；　and　he　never　saw　his　money。　　〃Editors；〃　he　said　to
me　one　day　about　this　time；　〃are　like　the　people　who　bought　and　sold
in　the　book　of　Revelation；　there　is　not　one　but　has　the　mark　of　the
beast　upon　him。〃

At　last　after　months　of　disappointment　and　many　a　tedious　hour
wasted　in　dingy　ante…rooms　（and　of　all　anterooms　those　of　editors
appear　to　me　to　be　the　dreariest）；　he　got　a　bona　fide　offer　of
employment　from　one　of　the　first　class　weekly　papers　through　an
introduction　I　was　able　to　get　for　him　from　one　who　had　powerful
influence　with　the　paper　in　question。　　The　editor　sent　him　a　dozen
long　books　upon　varied　and　difficult　subjects；　and　told　him　to
review　them　in　a　single　article　within　a　week。　　In　one　book　there
was　an　editorial　note　to　the　effect　that　the　writer　was　to　be
condemned。　　Ernest　particularly　admired　the　book　he　was　desired　to
condemn；　and　feeling　how　hopeless　it　was　for　him　to　do　anything　like
justice　to　the　books　submitted　to　him；　returned　them　to　the　editor。

At　last　one　paper　did　actually　take　a　dozen　or　so　of　articles　from
him；　and　gave　him　cash　down　a　couple　of　guineas　apiece　for　them；　but
having　done　this　it　expired　within　a　fortnight　after　the　last　of
Ernest's　articles　had　appeared。　　It　certainly　looked　very　much　as　if
the　other　editors　knew　their　business　in　declining　to　have　anything
to　do　with　my　unlucky　godson。

I　was　not　sorry　that　he　failed　with　periodical　literature；　for
writing　for　reviews　or　newspapers　is　bad　training　for　one　who　may
aspire　to　write　works　of　more　permanent　interest。　　A　young　writer
should　have　more　time　for　reflection　than　he　can　get　as　a
contributor　to　the　daily　or　even　weekly　press。　　Ernest　himself；
however；　was　chagrined　at　finding　how　unmarketable　he　was。　　〃Why；〃
he　said　to　me；　〃If　I　was　a　well…bred　horse；　or　sheep；　or　a　pure…bred
pigeon　or　lop…eared　rabbit　I　should　be　more　saleable。　　If　I　was　even
a　cathedral　in　a　colonial　town　people　would　give　me　something；　but
as　it　is　they　do　not　want　me〃；　and　now　that　he　was　well　and　rested
he　wanted　to　set　up　a　shop　again；　but　this；　of　course；　I　would　not
hear　of。

〃What　care　I；〃　said　he　to　me　one　day；　〃about　being　what　they　call　a
gentleman？〃　　And　his　manner　was　almost　fierce。

〃What　has　being　a　gentleman　ever　done　for　me　except　make　me　less
able　to　prey　and　more　easy　to　be　preyed　upon？　　It　has　changed　the
manner　of　my　being　swindled；　that　is　all。　　But　for　your　kindness　to
me　I　should　be　penniless。　　Thank　heaven　I　have　placed　my　children
where　I　have。〃

I　begged　him　to　keep　quiet　a　little　longer　and　not　talk　about　taking
a　shop。

〃Will　being　a　gentleman；〃　he　said；　〃bring　me　money　at　the　last；　and
will　anything　bring　me　as　much　peace　at　the　last　as　money　will？
They　say　that　those　who　have　riches　enter　hardly　into　the　kingdom　of
Heaven。　　By　Jove；　they　do；　they　are　like　Struldbrugs；　they　live　and
live　and　live　and　are　happy　for　many　a　long　year　after　they　would
have　entered　into　the　kingdom　of　Heaven　if　they　had　been　poor。　　I
want　to　live　long　and　to　raise　my　children；　if　I　see　they　would　be
happier　for　the　raising；　that　is　what　I　want；　and　it　is　not　what　I
am　doing　now　that　will　help　me。　　Being　a　gentleman　is　a　luxury　which
I　cannot　afford；　therefore　I　do　not　want　it。　　Let　me　go　back　to　my
shop　again；　and　do　things　for　people　which　they　want　done　and　will
pay　me　for　doing　for　them。　　They　know　what　they　want　and　what　is
good　for　them　better　than　I　can　tell　them。〃

It　was　hard　to　deny　the　soundness　of　this；　and　if　he　had　been
dependent　only　on　the　300　pounds　a　year　which　he　was　getting　from　me
I　should　have　advised　him　to　open　his　shop　again　next　morning。　　As
it　was；　I　temporised　and　raised　obstacles；　and　quieted　him　from　time
to　time　as　best　I　could。

Of　course　he　read　Mr　Darwin's　books　as　fast　as　they　came　out　and
adopted　evolution　as　an　article　of　faith。　　〃It　seems　to　me；〃　he　said
once；　〃that　I　am　like　one　of　those　caterpillars　which；　if　they　have
been　interrupted　in　making　their　hammock；　must　begin　again　from　the
beginning。　　So　long　as　I　went　back　a　long　way　down　in　the　social
scale　I　got　on　all　right；　and　should　have　made　money　but　for　Ellen；
when　I　try　to　take　up　the　work　at　a　higher　stage　I　fail　completely。〃
I　do　not　know　whether　the　analogy　holds　good　or　not；　but　I　am　sure
Ernest's　instinct　was　right　in　telling　him　that　after　a　heavy　fall
he　had　better　begin　life　again　at　a　very　low　stage；　and　as　I　have