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three¡¡or¡¡four¡¡ineffectual¡¡attemptson¡¡each¡¡of¡¡which¡¡occasions¡¡she
told¡¡a¡¡most¡¡pitiful¡¡storyshe¡¡gave¡¡it¡¡up¡¡and¡¡took¡¡her¡¡money
regularly¡¡without¡¡a¡¡word¡£¡¡¡¡Once¡¡she¡¡came¡¡with¡¡a¡¡bad¡¡black¡¡eye£»
¡¨which¡¡a¡¡boy¡¡had¡¡throwed¡¡a¡¡stone¡¡and¡¡hit¡¡her¡¡by¡¡mistake¡¨£»¡¡but¡¡on¡¡the
whole¡¡she¡¡looked¡¡pretty¡¡much¡¡the¡¡same¡¡at¡¡the¡¡end¡¡of¡¡the¡¡three¡¡years
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out¡¡to¡¡her¡¡that¡¡she¡¡would¡¡very¡¡likely¡¡be¡¡again¡¡committing¡¡bigamy¡¡by
doing¡¡so¡£¡¡¡¡¡¨You¡¡may¡¡call¡¡it¡¡what¡¡you¡¡like£»¡¨¡¡she¡¡replied£»¡¡¡¨but¡¡I¡¡am
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was¡¡little¡¡likely¡¡to¡¡do¡¡this£»¡¡so¡¡the¡¡pair¡¡went¡¡in¡¡peace¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡believe
it¡¡was¡¡Bill¡¡who¡¡had¡¡blacked¡¡her¡¡eye£»¡¡and¡¡she¡¡liked¡¡him¡¡all¡¡the
better¡¡for¡¡it¡£
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partner¡¡better¡¡suited¡¡to¡¡her¡¡than¡¡either¡¡John¡¡or¡¡Ernest¡£¡¡¡¡On¡¡his
birthday¡¡Ernest¡¡generally¡¡receives¡¡an¡¡envelope¡¡with¡¡an¡¡American
post¡mark¡¡containing¡¡a¡¡book¡marker¡¡with¡¡a¡¡flaunting¡¡text¡¡upon¡¡it£»¡¡or
a¡¡moral¡¡kettle¡holder£»¡¡or¡¡some¡¡other¡¡similar¡¡small¡¡token¡¡of
recognition£»¡¡but¡¡no¡¡letter¡£¡¡¡¡Of¡¡the¡¡children¡¡she¡¡has¡¡taken¡¡no
notice¡£
CHAPTER¡¡LXXVIII
Ernest¡¡was¡¡now¡¡well¡¡turned¡¡twenty¡six¡¡years¡¡old£»¡¡and¡¡in¡¡little¡¡more
than¡¡another¡¡year¡¡and¡¡a¡¡half¡¡would¡¡come¡¡into¡¡possession¡¡of¡¡his
money¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡saw¡¡no¡¡reason¡¡for¡¡letting¡¡him¡¡have¡¡it¡¡earlier¡¡than¡¡the
date¡¡fixed¡¡by¡¡Miss¡¡Pontifex¡¡herself£»¡¡at¡¡the¡¡same¡¡time¡¡I¡¡did¡¡not¡¡like
his¡¡continuing¡¡the¡¡shop¡¡at¡¡Blackfriars¡¡after¡¡the¡¡present¡¡crisis¡£¡¡¡¡It
was¡¡not¡¡till¡¡now¡¡that¡¡I¡¡fully¡¡understood¡¡how¡¡much¡¡he¡¡had¡¡suffered£»
nor¡¡how¡¡nearly¡¡his¡¡supposed¡¡wife's¡¡habits¡¡had¡¡brought¡¡him¡¡to¡¡actual
want¡£
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live¡¡with¡¡her¡£
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I¡¡had¡¡better¡¡do¡¡with¡¡him¡£
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begun¡¡to¡¡live£»¡¡so¡¡to¡¡speak£»¡¡upon¡¡his¡¡own¡¡account¡£¡¡¡¡Of¡¡these¡¡years£»
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the¡¡ways¡¡of¡¡business¡¡and¡¡of¡¡marriage¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡had¡¡failed£»¡¡I¡¡may¡¡say£»¡¡in
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him¡¡when¡¡it¡¡might¡¡be¡¡better¡¡for¡¡him¡¡to¡¡be¡¡let¡¡alone¡£¡¡¡¡On¡¡the¡¡whole¡¡I
concluded¡¡that¡¡a¡¡three¡¡and¡¡a¡¡half¡¡years'¡¡apprenticeship¡¡to¡¡a¡¡rough
life¡¡was¡¡enough£»¡¡the¡¡shop¡¡had¡¡done¡¡much¡¡for¡¡him£»¡¡it¡¡had¡¡kept¡¡him
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activity¡¡which¡¡is¡¡omnipresent¡¡around¡¡us£»¡¡he¡¡understood¡¡it¡¡and
sympathised¡¡with¡¡it¡¡as¡¡he¡¡could¡¡never¡¡have¡¡done¡¡if¡¡he¡¡had¡¡not¡¡kept¡¡a
shop¡¡himself¡£
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overlooked¡¡populous¡¡suburbs£»¡¡and¡¡looked¡¡down¡¡upon¡¡street¡¡after
street¡¡of¡¡dingy¡¡houses£»¡¡he¡¡used¡¡to¡¡wonder¡¡what¡¡kind¡¡of¡¡people¡¡lived
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familiar¡¡with¡¡the¡¡writer¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Odyssey¡¡£¨who£»¡¡by¡¡the¡¡way£»¡¡I¡¡suspect
strongly¡¡of¡¡having¡¡been¡¡a¡¡clergyman£©£»¡¡but¡¡he¡¡assuredly¡¡hit¡¡the¡¡right
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with¡¡his¡¡life¡¡in¡¡prison¡¡and¡¡as¡¡a¡¡tailor¡¡in¡¡Blackfriars¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡have
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were¡¡only¡¡for¡¡the¡¡deeper¡¡insight¡¡it¡¡gave¡¡him¡¡into¡¡the¡¡spirit¡¡of¡¡the
Grecian¡¡and¡¡the¡¡Surrey¡¡pantomimes¡£¡¡¡¡What¡¡confidence¡¡again¡¡in¡¡his¡¡own
power¡¡to¡¡swim¡¡if¡¡thrown¡¡into¡¡deep¡¡waters¡¡had¡¡not¡¡he¡¡won¡¡through¡¡his
experiences¡¡during¡¡the¡¡last¡¡three¡¡years£¡
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it¡¡was¡¡time¡¡he¡¡began¡¡to¡¡live¡¡in¡¡a¡¡style¡¡more¡¡suitable¡¡to¡¡his
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kissed¡¡it¡¡with¡¡a¡¡vengeance£»¡¡but¡¡I¡¡did¡¡not¡¡like¡¡the¡¡notion¡¡of¡¡his
coming¡¡suddenly¡¡from¡¡the¡¡position¡¡of¡¡a¡¡small¡¡shopkeeper¡¡to¡¡that¡¡of¡¡a
man¡¡with¡¡an¡¡income¡¡of¡¡between¡¡three¡¡and¡¡four¡¡thousand¡¡a¡¡year¡£¡¡¡¡Too
sudden¡¡a¡¡jump¡¡from¡¡bad¡¡fortune¡¡to¡¡good¡¡is¡¡just¡¡as¡¡dangerous¡¡as¡¡one
from¡¡good¡¡to¡¡bad£»¡¡besides£»¡¡poverty¡¡is¡¡very¡¡wearing£»¡¡it¡¡is¡¡a¡¡quasi¡
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hold¡¡his¡¡later¡¡developments¡¡securely£»¡¡but¡¡like¡¡measles¡¡or¡¡scarlet
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he¡¡has¡¡had¡¡his¡¡facer¡£¡¡¡¡How¡¡often¡¡do¡¡I¡¡not¡¡hear¡¡middle¡aged¡¡women¡¡and
quiet¡¡family¡¡men¡¡say¡¡that¡¡they¡¡have¡¡no¡¡speculative¡¡tendency£»¡¡THEY
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best¡¡reputed¡¡investments£»¡¡and¡¡as¡¡for¡¡unlimited¡¡liability£»¡¡oh¡¡dear£¡
dear£¡¡¡and¡¡they¡¡throw¡¡up¡¡their¡¡hands¡¡and¡¡eyes¡£
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easy¡¡prey¡¡of¡¡the¡¡first¡¡adventurer¡¡who¡¡comes¡¡across¡¡him£»¡¡he¡¡will
commonly£»¡¡indeed£»¡¡wind¡¡up¡¡his¡¡discourse¡¡by¡¡saying¡¡that¡¡in¡¡spite¡¡of
all¡¡his¡¡natural¡¡caution£»¡¡and¡¡his¡¡well¡¡knowing¡¡how¡¡foolish
speculation¡¡is£»¡¡yet¡¡there¡¡are¡¡some¡¡investments¡¡which¡¡are¡¡called
speculative¡¡but¡¡in¡¡reality¡¡are¡¡not¡¡so£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡will¡¡pull¡¡out¡¡of¡¡his
pocket¡¡the¡¡prospectus¡¡of¡¡a¡¡Cornish¡¡gold¡¡mine¡£¡¡¡¡It¡¡is¡¡only¡¡on¡¡having
actually¡¡lost¡¡money¡¡that¡¡one¡¡realises¡¡what¡¡an¡¡awful¡¡thing¡¡the¡¡loss
of¡¡it¡¡is£»¡¡and¡¡finds¡¡out¡¡how¡¡easily¡¡it¡¡is¡¡lost¡¡by¡¡those¡¡who¡¡venture
out¡¡of¡¡the¡¡middle¡¡of¡¡the¡¡most¡¡beaten¡¡path¡£¡¡¡¡Ernest¡¡had¡¡had¡¡his
facer£»¡¡as¡¡he¡¡had¡¡had¡¡his¡¡attack¡¡of¡¡poverty£»¡¡young£»¡¡and¡¡sufficiently
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fancy¡¡few¡¡pieces¡¡of¡¡good¡¡fortune¡¡greater¡¡than¡¡this¡¡as¡¡happening¡¡to
any¡¡man£»¡¡provided£»¡¡of¡¡course£»¡¡that¡¡he¡¡is¡¡not¡¡damaged¡¡irretrievably¡£
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have¡¡a¡¡speculation¡¡master¡¡attached¡¡to¡¡every¡¡school¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡boys¡¡would
be¡¡encouraged¡¡to¡¡read¡¡the¡¡Money¡¡Market¡¡Review£»¡¡the¡¡Railway¡¡News£»¡¡and
all¡¡the¡¡best¡¡financial¡¡papers£»¡¡and¡¡should¡¡establish¡¡a¡¡stock¡¡exchange
amongst¡¡themselves¡¡in¡¡which¡¡pence¡¡should¡¡stand¡¡as¡¡pounds¡£¡¡¡¡Then¡¡let
them¡¡see¡¡how¡¡this¡¡making¡¡haste¡¡to¡¡get¡¡rich¡¡moneys¡¡out¡¡in¡¡actual
practice¡£¡¡¡¡There¡¡might¡¡be¡¡a¡¡prize¡¡awarded¡¡by¡¡the¡¡head¡master¡¡to¡¡the
most¡¡prudent¡¡dealer£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡boys¡¡who¡¡lost¡¡their¡¡money¡¡time¡¡after
time¡¡should¡¡be¡¡dismissed¡£¡¡¡¡Of¡¡course¡¡if¡¡any¡¡boy¡¡proved¡¡to¡¡have¡¡a
genius¡¡for¡¡speculation¡¡and¡¡made¡¡moneywell¡¡and¡¡good£»¡¡let¡¡him
speculate¡¡by¡¡all¡¡means¡£
If¡¡Universities¡¡were¡¡not¡¡the¡¡worst¡¡teachers¡¡in¡¡the¡¡world¡¡I¡¡should
like¡¡to¡¡see¡¡professorships¡¡of¡¡speculation¡¡established¡¡at¡¡Oxford¡¡and
Cambridge¡£¡¡¡¡When¡¡I¡¡reflect£»¡¡however£»¡¡that¡¡the¡¡only¡¡things¡¡worth
doing¡¡which¡¡Oxford¡¡and¡¡Cambridge¡¡can¡¡do¡¡well¡¡are¡¡cooking£»¡¡cricket£»
rowing¡¡and¡¡games£»¡¡of¡¡which¡¡there¡¡is¡¡no¡¡professorship£»¡¡I¡¡fear¡¡that
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young¡¡men¡¡neither¡¡how¡¡to¡¡speculate£»¡¡nor¡¡how¡¡not¡¡to¡¡speculate£»¡¡but
would¡¡simply¡¡turn¡¡them¡¡out¡¡as¡¡bad¡¡speculators¡£
I¡¡heard¡¡of¡¡one¡¡case¡¡in¡¡which¡¡a¡¡father¡¡actually¡¡carried¡¡my¡¡idea¡¡into
practice¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡wanted¡¡his¡¡son¡¡to¡¡learn¡¡how¡¡little¡¡confidence¡¡was¡¡to
be¡¡placed¡¡in¡¡glowing¡¡prospectuses¡¡and¡¡flaming¡¡articles£»¡¡and¡¡found
him¡¡five¡¡hundred¡¡pounds¡¡which¡¡he¡¡was¡¡to¡¡invest¡¡according¡¡to¡¡his
lights¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡father¡¡expected¡¡he¡¡would¡¡lose¡¡the¡¡money£»¡¡but¡¡it¡¡did¡¡not
turn¡¡out¡¡so¡¡in¡¡practice£»¡¡for¡¡the¡¡boy¡¡took¡¡so¡¡much¡¡pains¡¡and¡¡played
so¡¡cautiously¡¡that¡¡the¡¡money¡¡kept¡¡growing¡¡and¡¡growing¡¡till¡¡the
father¡¡took¡¡it¡¡away¡¡again£»¡¡increment¡¡and¡¡allas¡¡he¡¡was¡¡p