the way of all flesh-第74节

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employment；　for　fear　of　creating　a　bother　among　the　men。

I　left；　feeling　that　I　ought　to　have　thought　of　all　this　myself；　and
was　more　than　ever　perplexed　as　to　whether　I　had　not　better　let　my
young　friend　have　a　few　thousand　pounds　and　send　him　out　to　the
colonies；　when；　on　my　return　home　at　about　five　o'clock；　I　found　him
waiting　for　me；　radiant；　and　declaring　that　he　had　found　all　he
wanted。



CHAPTER　LXXI



It　seems　he　had　been　patrolling　the　streets　for　the　last　three　or
four　nightsI　suppose　in　search　of　something　to　doat　any　rate
knowing　better　what　he　wanted　to　get　than　how　to　get　it。
Nevertheless；　what　he　wanted　was　in　reality　so　easily　to　be　found
that　it　took　a　highly　educated　scholar　like　himself　to　be　unable　to
find　it。　　But；　however　this　may　be；　he　had　been　scared；　and　now　saw
lions　where　there　were　none；　and　was　shocked　and　frightened；　and
night　after　night　his　courage　had　failed　him　and　he　had　returned　to
his　lodgings　in　Laystall　Street　without　accomplishing　his　errand。
He　had　not　taken　me　into　his　confidence　upon　this　matter；　and　I　had
not　enquired　what　he　did　with　himself　in　the　evenings。　　At　last　he
had　concluded　that；　however　painful　it　might　be　to　him；　he　would
call　on　Mrs　Jupp；　who　he　thought　would　be　able　to　help　him　if　anyone
could。　　He　had　been　walking　moodily　from　seven　till　about　nine；　and
now　resolved　to　go　straight　to　Ashpit　Place　and　make　a　mother
confessor　of　Mrs　Jupp　without　more　delay。

Of　all　tasks　that　could　be　performed　by　mortal　woman　there　was　none
which　Mrs　Jupp　would　have　liked　better　than　the　one　Ernest　was
thinking　of　imposing　upon　her；　nor　do　I　know　that　in　his　scared　and
broken…down　state　he　could　have　done　much　better　than　he　now
proposed。　　Miss　Jupp　would　have　made　it　very　easy　for　him　to　open
his　grief　to　her；　indeed；　she　would　have　coaxed　it　all　out　of　him
before　he　knew　where　he　was；　but　the　fates　were　against　Mrs　Jupp；
and　the　meeting　between　my　hero　and　his　former　landlady　was
postponed　sine　die；　for　his　determination　had　hardly　been　formed　and
he　had　not　gone　more　than　a　hundred　yards　in　the　direction　of　Mrs
Jupp's　house；　when　a　woman　accosted　him。

He　was　turning　from　her；　as　he　had　turned　from　so　many　others；　when
she　started　back　with　a　movement　that　aroused　his　curiosity。　　He　had
hardly　seen　her　face；　but　being　determined　to　catch　sight　of　it；
followed　her　as　she　hurried　away；　and　passed　her；　then　turning　round
he　saw　that　she　was　none　other　than　Ellen；　the　housemaid　who　had
been　dismissed　by　his　mother　eight　years　previously。

He　ought　to　have　assigned　Ellen's　unwillingness　to　see　him　to　its
true　cause；　but　a　guilty　conscience　made　him　think　she　had　heard　of
his　disgrace　and　was　turning　away　from　him　in　contempt。　　Brave　as
had　been　his　resolutions　about　facing　the　world；　this　was　more　than
he　was　prepared　for；　〃What！　you　too　shun　me；　Ellen？〃　he　exclaimed。

The　girl　was　crying　bitterly　and　did　not　understand　him。　　〃Oh；
Master　Ernest；〃　she　sobbed；　〃let　me　go；　you　are　too　good　for　the
likes　of　me　to　speak　to　now。〃

〃Why；　Ellen；〃　said　he；　〃what　nonsense　you　talk；　you　haven't　been　in
prison；　have　you？〃

〃Oh；　no；　no；　no；　not　so　bad　as　that；〃　she　exclaimed　passionately。

〃Well；　I　have；〃　said　Ernest；　with　a　forced　laugh；　〃I　came　out　three
or　four　days　ago　after　six　months　with　hard　labour。〃

Ellen　did　not　believe　him；　but　she　looked　at　him　with　a　〃Lor'！
Master　Ernest；〃　and　dried　her　eyes　at　once。　　The　ice　was　broken
between　them；　for　as　a　matter　of　fact　Ellen　had　been　in　prison
several　times；　and　though　she　did　not　believe　Ernest；　his　merely
saying　he　had　been　in　prison　made　her　feel　more　at　ease　with　him。
For　her　there　were　two　classes　of　people；　those　who　had　been　in
prison　and　those　who　had　not。　　The　first　she　looked　upon　as　fellow…
creatures　and　more　or　less　Christians；　the　second；　with　few
exceptions；　she　regarded　with　suspicion；　not　wholly　unmingled　with
contempt。

Then　Ernest　told　her　what　had　happened　to　him　during　the　last　six
months；　and　by…and…by　she　believed　him。

〃Master　Ernest；〃　said　she；　after　they　had　talked　for　a　quarter　of　an
hour　or　so；　〃There's　a　place　over　the　way　where　they　sell　tripe　and
onions。　　I　know　you　was　always　very　fond　of　tripe　and　onions；　let's
go　over　and　have　some；　and　we　can　talk　better　there。〃

So　the　pair　crossed　the　street　and　entered　the　tripe　shop；　Ernest
ordered　supper。

〃And　how　is　your　pore　dear　mamma；　and　your　dear　papa；　Master
Ernest；〃　said　Ellen；　who　had　now　recovered　herself　and　was　quite　at
home　with　my　hero。　　〃Oh；　dear；　dear　me；〃　she　said；　〃I　did　love　your
pa；　he　was　a　good　gentleman；　he　was；　and　your　ma　too；　it　would　do
anyone　good　to　live　with　her；　I'm　sure。〃

Ernest　was　surprised　and　hardly　knew　what　to　say。　　He　had　expected
to　find　Ellen　indignant　at　the　way　she　had　been　treated；　and
inclined　to　lay　the　blame　of　her　having　fallen　to　her　present　state
at　his　father's　and　mother's　door。　　It　was　not　so。　　Her　only
recollection　of　Battersby　was　as　of　a　place　where　she　had　had　plenty
to　eat　and　drink；　not　too　much　hard　work；　and　where　she　had　not　been
scolded。　　When　she　heard　that　Ernest　had　quarrelled　with　his　father
and　mother　she　assumed　as　a　matter　of　course　that　the　fault　must　lie
entirely　with　Ernest。

〃Oh；　your　pore；　pore　ma！〃　said　Ellen。　　〃She　was　always　so　very　fond
of　you；　Master　Ernest：　　you　was　always　her　favourite；　I　can't　abear
to　think　of　anything　between　you　and　her。　　To　think　now　of　the　way
she　used　to　have　me　into　the　dining…room　and　teach　me　my　catechism；
that　she　did！　　Oh；　Master　Ernest；　you　really　must　go　and　make　it　all
up　with　her；　indeed　you　must。〃

Ernest　felt　rueful；　but　he　had　resisted　so　valiantly　already　that
the　devil　might　have　saved　himself　the　trouble　of　trying　to　get　at
him　through　Ellen　in　the　matter　of　his　father　and　mother。　　He
changed　the　subject；　and　the　pair　warmed　to　one　another　as　they　had
their　tripe　and　pots　of　beer。　　Of　all　people　in　the　world　Ellen　was
perhaps　the　one　to　whom　Ernest　could　have　spoken　most　freely　at　this
juncture。　　He　told　her　what　he　thought　he　could　have　told　to　no　one
else。

〃You　know；　Ellen；〃　he　concluded；　〃I　had　learnt　as　a　boy　things　that
I　ought　not　to　have　learnt；　and　had　never　had　a　chance　of　that　which
would　have　set　me　straight。〃

〃Gentlefolks　is　always　like　that；〃　said　Ellen　musingly。

〃I　believe　you　are　right；　but　I　am　no　longer　a　gentleman；　Ellen；　and
I　don't　see　why　I　should　be　'like　that'　any　longer；　my　dear。　　I　want
you　to　help　me　to　be　like　something　else　as　soon　as　possible。〃

〃Lor'！　Master　Ernest；　whatever　can　you　be　meaning？〃

The　pair　soon　afterwards　left　the　eating…house　and　walked　up　Fetter
Lane　together。

Ellen　had　had　hard　times　since　she　had　left　Battersby；　but　they　had
left　little　trace　upon　her。

Ernest　saw　only　the　fresh…looking　smiling　face；　the　dimpled　cheek；
the　clear　blue　eyes　and　lovely　sphinx…like　lips　which　he　had
remembered　as　a　boy。　　At　nineteen　she　had　looked　older　than　she　was；
now　she　looked　much　younger；　indeed　she　looked　hardly　older　than
when　Ernest　had　last　seen　her；　and　it　would　have　taken　a　man　of　much
greater　experience　than　he　possessed　to　suspect　how　completely　she
had　fallen　from　her　first　estate。　　It　never　occurred　to　him　that　the
poor　condition　of　her　wardrobe　was　due　to　her　passion　for　ardent
spirits；　and　that　first　and　last　she　had　served　five　or　six　times　as
much　time　in　gaol　as　he　had。　　He　ascribed　the　poverty　of　her　attire
to　the　attempts　to　keep　herself　respectable；　which　Ellen　during
supper　had　more　than　once　alluded　to。　　He　had　been　charmed　with　the
way　in　which　she　had　declared　that　a　pint　of　beer　would　make　her
tipsy；　and　had　only　allowed　herself　to　be　forced　into　drinking　the
whole　after　a　good　deal　of　remonstrance。　　To　him　she　appeared　a　very
angel　dropped　from　the　sky；　and　all　the　more　easy　to　get　on　with　for
being　a　fallen　one。

As　he　walked　up　Fetter　Lane　with　her　towards　Laystall　Street；　he
thought　of　the　wonderful　goodness　of　God　towards　him　in　throwing　in
his　way　the　very　person　of　all　others　whom　he　was　most　glad　to　see；
and　whom；　of　all　others；　in　spite　of　her　living　so　near　him；　he
might　have　never　fallen　in　with　but　for　a　happy　accident。

When　people　get　it　into　their　heads　that　they　are　being　specially
favoured　by　the　Almighty；　they　had　better　as　a　general　rule　mind
their　p's　and　q's；　and　when　they　think　they　see　the　devil's　drift
with　more　special　clearness；　let　them　remember　that　he　has　had　much
more　experience　than　they　have；　and　is　probably　meditating　mischief。

Already　during　supper　the　thought　that　in　Ellen　at　last　he　had　found
a　woman　whom　he　could　love　well　enough　to　wish　to　live　with　and
marry　had　flitted　across　his　mind；　and　the　more　they　had　chatted　the
more　reasons　kept　suggesting　themselves　for　thinking　that　what　might
be　folly　in　ordinary　cases　would　not　be　folly　in　his。

He　must　marry　someone；　that　was　already　settled。　　He　could　not　marry
a　lady；　that　was　absurd。　　He　must　marry　a　poor　woman。　　Yes；　but　a
fallen　one？　　Was　he　not　fallen　himself？　　Ellen　would　fall　no　more。
He　had　only　to　look　at　her　to　be　sure　of　this。　　He　could　not　live
with　her　in　sin；　not　for　more　than　the　shortest　time　that　could
elapse　before　t