the way of all flesh-第47节

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straightforwardness　of　character　that　was　stamped　upon　his　face；　a
love　of　humour；　and　a　temper　which　was　more　easily　appeased　than
ruffled　made　up　for　some　awkwardness　and　want　of　savoir　faire。　　He
soon　became　a　not　unpopular　member　of　the　best　set　of　his　year；　and
though　neither　capable　of　becoming；　nor　aspiring　to　become；　a
leader；　was　admitted　by　the　leaders　as　among　their　nearer　hangers…
on。

Of　ambition　he　had　at　that　time　not　one　particle；　greatness；　or
indeed　superiority　of　any　kind；　seemed　so　far　off　and
incomprehensible　to　him　that　the　idea　of　connecting　it　with　himself
never　crossed　his　mind。　　If　he　could　escape　the　notice　of　all　those
with　whom　he　did　not　feel　himself　en　rapport；　he　conceived　that　he
had　triumphed　sufficiently。　　He　did　not　care　about　taking　a　good
degree；　except　that　it　must　be　good　enough　to　keep　his　father　and
mother　quiet。　　He　did　not　dream　of　being　able　to　get　a　fellowship；
if　he　had；　he　would　have　tried　hard　to　do　so；　for　he　became　so　fond
of　Cambridge　that　he　could　not　bear　the　thought　of　having　to　leave
it；　the　briefness　indeed　of　the　season　during　which　his　present
happiness　was　to　last　was　almost　the　only　thing　that　now　seriously
troubled　him。

Having　less　to　attend　to　in　the　matter　of　growing；　and　having　got
his　head　more　free；　he　took　to　reading　fairly　wellnot　because　he
liked　it；　but　because　he　was　told　he　ought　to　do　so；　and　his　natural
instinct；　like　that　of　all　very　young　men　who　are　good　for　anything；
was　to　do　as　those　in　authority　told　him。　　The　intention　at
Battersby　was　（for　Dr　Skinner　had　said　that　Ernest　could　never　get　a
fellowship）　that　he　should　take　a　sufficiently　good　degree　to　be
able　to　get　a　tutorship　or　mastership　in　some　school　preparatory　to
taking　orders。　　When　he　was　twenty…one　years　old　his　money　was　to
come　into　his　own　hands；　and　the　best　thing　he　could　do　with　it
would　be　to　buy　the　next　presentation　to　a　living；　the　rector　of
which　was　now　old；　and　live　on　his　mastership　or　tutorship　till　the
living　fell　in。　　He　could　buy　a　very　good　living　for　the　sum　which
his　grandfather's　legacy　now　amounted　to；　for　Theobald　had　never　had
any　serious　intention　of　making　deductions　for　his　son's　maintenance
and　education；　and　the　money　had　accumulated　till　it　was　now　about
five　thousand　pounds；　he　had　only　talked　about　making　deductions　in
order　to　stimulate　the　boy　to　exertion　as　far　as　possible；　by　making
him　think　that　this　was　his　only　chance　of　escaping　starvationor
perhaps　from　pure　love　of　teasing。

When　Ernest　had　a　living　of　600　pounds　or　700　pounds　a　year　with　a
house；　and　not　too　many　parishionerswhy；　he　might　add　to　his
income　by　taking　pupils；　or　even　keeping　a　school；　and　then；　say　at
thirty；　he　might　marry。　　It　was　not　easy　for　Theobald　to　hit　on　any
much　more　sensible　plan。　　He　could　not　get　Ernest　into　business；　for
he　had　no　business　connectionsbesides　he　did　not　know　what
business　meant；　he　had　no　interest；　again；　at　the　Bar；　medicine　was
a　profession　which　subjected　its　students　to　ordeals　and　temptations
which　these　fond　parents　shrank　from　on　behalf　of　their　boy；　he
would　be　thrown　among　companions　and　familiarised　with　details　which
might　sully　him；　and　though　he　might　stand；　it　was　〃only　too
possible〃　that　he　would　fall。　　Besides；　ordination　was　the　road
which　Theobald　knew　and　understood；　and　indeed　the　only　road　about
which　he　knew　anything　at　all；　so　not　unnaturally　it　was　the　one　he
chose　for　Ernest。

The　foregoing　had　been　instilled　into　my　hero　from　earliest　boyhood；
much　as　it　had　been　instilled　into　Theobald　himself；　and　with　the
same　resultthe　conviction；　namely；　that　he　was　certainly　to　be　a
clergyman；　but　that　it　was　a　long　way　off　yet；　and　he　supposed　it
was　all　right。　　As　for　the　duty　of　reading　hard；　and　taking　as　good
a　degree　as　he　could；　this　was　plain　enough；　so　he　set　himself　to
work；　as　I　have　said；　steadily；　and　to　the　surprise　of　everyone　as
well　as　himself　got　a　college　scholarship；　of　no　great　value；　but
still　a　scholarship；　in　his　freshman's　term。　　It　is　hardly　necessary
to　say　that　Theobald　stuck　to　the　whole　of　this　money；　believing　the
pocket…money　he　allowed　Ernest　to　be　sufficient　for　him；　and　knowing
how　dangerous　it　was　for　young　men　to　have　money　at　command。　　I　do
not　suppose　it　even　occurred　to　him　to　try　and　remember　what　he　had
felt　when　his　father　took　a　like　course　in　regard　to　himself。

Ernest's　position　in　this　respect　was　much　what　it　had　been　at
school　except　that　things　were　on　a　larger　scale。　　His　tutor's　and
cook's　bills　were　paid　for　him；　his　father　sent　him　his　wine；　over
and　above　this　he　had　50　pounds　a　year　with　which　to　keep　himself　in
clothes　and　all　other　expenses；　this　was　about　the　usual　thing　at
Emmanuel　in　Ernest's　day；　though　many　had　much　less　than　this。
Ernest　did　as　he　had　done　at　schoolhe　spent　what　he　could；　soon
after　he　received　his　money；　he　then　incurred　a　few　modest
liabilities；　and　then　lived　penuriously　till　next　term；　when　he
would　immediately　pay　his　debts；　and　start　new　ones　to　much　the　same
extent　as　those　which　he　had　just　got　rid　of。　　When　he　came　into　his
5000　pounds　and　became　independent　of　his　father；　15　pounds　or　20
pounds　served　to　cover　the　whole　of　his　unauthorised　expenditure。

He　joined　the　boat　club；　and　was　constant　in　his　attendance　at　the
boats。　　He　still　smoked；　but　never　took　more　wine　or　beer　than　was
good　for　him；　except　perhaps　on　the　occasion　of　a　boating　supper；
but　even　then　he　found　the　consequences　unpleasant；　and　soon　learned
how　to　keep　within　safe　limits。　　He　attended　chapel　as　often　as　he
was　compelled　to　do　so；　he　communicated　two　or　three　times　a　year；
because　his　tutor　told　him　he　ought　to；　in　fact　he　set　himself　to
live　soberly　and　cleanly；　as　I　imagine　all　his　instincts　prompted
him　to　do；　and　when　he　fellas　who　that　is　born　of　woman　can　help
sometimes　doing？it　was　not　till　after　a　sharp　tussle　with　a
temptation　that　was　more　than　his　flesh　and　blood　could　stand；　then
he　was　very　penitent　and　would　go　a　fairly　long　while　without
sinning　again；　and　this　was　how　it　had　always　been　with　him　since　he
had　arrived　at　years　of　indiscretion。

Even　to　the　end　of　his　career　at　Cambridge　he　was　not　aware　that　he
had　it　in　him　to　do　anything；　but　others　had　begun　to　see　that　he
was　not　wanting　in　ability　and　sometimes　told　him　so。　　He　did　not
believe　it；　indeed　he　knew　very　well　that　if　they　thought　him　clever
they　were　being　taken　in；　but　it　pleased　him　to　have　been　able　to
take　them　in；　and　he　tried　to　do　so　still　further；　he　was　therefore
a　good　deal　on　the　look…out　for　cants　that　he　could　catch　and　apply
in　season；　and　might　have　done　himself　some　mischief　thus　if　he　had
not　been　ready　to　throw　over　any　cant　as　soon　as　he　had　come　across
another　more　nearly　to　his　fancy；　his　friends　used　to　say　that　when
he　rose　he　flew　like　a　snipe；　darting　several　times　in　various
directions　before　he　settled　down　to　a　steady　straight　flight；　but
when　he　had　once　got　into　this　he　would　keep　to　it。



CHAPTER　XLVI



When　he　was　in　his　third　year　a　magazine　was　founded　at　Cambridge；
the　contributions　to　which　were　exclusively　by　undergraduates。
Ernest　sent　in　an　essay　upon　the　Greek　Drama；　which　he　has　declined
to　let　me　reproduce　here　without　his　being　allowed　to　re…edit　it。　　I
have　therefore　been　unable　to　give　it　in　its　original　form；　but　when
pruned　of　its　redundancies　（and　this　is　all　that　has　been　done　to
it）　it　runs　as　follows　…


〃I　shall　not　attempt　within　the　limits　at　my　disposal　to　make　a
resume　of　the　rise　and　progress　of　the　Greek　drama；　but　will　confine
myself　to　considering　whether　the　reputation　enjoyed　by　the　three
chief　Greek　tragedians；　AEschylus；　Sophocles　and　Euripides；　is　one
that　will　be　permanent；　or　whether　they　will　one　day　be　held　to　have
been　overrated。

〃Why；　I　ask　myself；　do　I　see　much　that　I　can　easily　admire　in　Homer；
Thucydides；　Herodotus；　Demosthenes；　Aristophanes；　Theocritus；　parts
of　Lucretius；　Horace's　satires　and　epistles；　to　say　nothing　of　other
ancient　writers；　and　yet　find　myself　at　once　repelled　by　even　those
works　of　AEschylus；　Sophocles　and　Euripides　which　are　most　generally
admired。

〃With　the　first…named　writers　I　am　in　the　hands　of　men　who　feel；　if
not　as　I　do；　still　as　I　can　understand　their　feeling；　and　as　I　am
interested　to　see　that　they　should　have　felt；　with　the　second　I　have
so　little　sympathy　that　I　cannot　understand　how　anyone　can　ever　have
taken　any　interest　in　them　whatever。　　Their　highest　flights　to　me
are　dull；　pompous　and　artificial　productions；　which；　if　they　were　to
appear　now　for　the　first　time；　would；　I　should　think；　either　fall
dead　or　be　severely　handled　by　the　critics。　　I　wish　to　know　whether
it　is　I　who　am　in　fault　in　this　matter；　or　whether　part　of　the　blame
may　not　rest　with　the　tragedians　themselves。

〃How　far　I　wonder　did　the　Athenians　genuinely　like　these　poets；　and
how　far　was　the　applause　which　was　lavished　upon　them　due　to　fashion
or　affectation？　　How　far；　in　fact；　did　admiration　for　the　orthodox
tragedians　take　that　place　among　the　Athenians　which　going　to　church
does　among　ourselves？

〃This　is　a　venturesome　question　considering　the　verdict