the way of all flesh-第45节

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fury　with　which　Dr　Skinner　was　pursuing　him　tended　to　bring　about　a
reaction　in　his　favour；　as　though　he　had　been　more　sinned　against
than　sinning。

As　the　half　year　wore　on　his　spirits　gradually　revived；　and　when
attacked　by　one　of　his　fits　of　self…abasement　he　was　in　some　degree
consoled　by　having　found　out　that　even　his　father　and　mother；　whom
he　had　supposed　so　immaculate；　were　no　better　than　they　should　be。
About　the　fifth　of　November　it　was　a　school　custom　to　meet　on　a
certain　common　not　far　from　Roughborough　and　burn　somebody　in
effigy；　this　being　the　compromise　arrived　at　in　the　matter　of
fireworks　and　Guy　Fawkes　festivities。　　This　year　it　was　decided　that
Pontifex's　governor　should　be　the　victim；　and　Ernest　though　a　good
deal　exercised　in　mind　as　to　what　he　ought　to　do；　in　the　end　saw　no
sufficient　reason　for　holding　aloof　from　proceedings　which；　as　he
justly　remarked；　could　not　do　his　father　any　harm。

It　so　happened　that　the　bishop　had　held　a　confirmation　at　the　school
on　the　fifth　of　November。　　Dr　Skinner　had　not　quite　liked　the
selection　of　this　day；　but　the　bishop　was　pressed　by　many
engagements；　and　had　been　compelled　to　make　the　arrangement　as　it
then　stood。　　Ernest　was　among　those　who　had　to　be　confirmed；　and　was
deeply　impressed　with　the　solemn　importance　of　the　ceremony。　　When
he　felt　the　huge　old　bishop　drawing　down　upon　him　as　he　knelt　in
chapel　he　could　hardly　breathe；　and　when　the　apparition　paused
before　him　and　laid　its　hands　upon　his　head　he　was　frightened　almost
out　of　his　wits。　　He　felt　that　he　had　arrived　at　one　of　the　great
turning　points　of　his　life；　and　that　the　Ernest　of　the　future　could
resemble　only　very　faintly　the　Ernest　of　the　past。

This　happened　at　about　noon；　but　by　the　one　o'clock　dinner…hour　the
effect　of　the　confirmation　had　worn　off；　and　he　saw　no　reason　why　he
should　forego　his　annual　amusement　with　the　bonfire；　so　he　went　with
the　others　and　was　very　valiant　till　the　image　was　actually　produced
and　was　about　to　be　burnt；　then　he　felt　a　little　frightened。　　It　was
a　poor　thing　enough；　made　of　paper；　calico　and　straw；　but　they　had
christened　it　The　Rev。　Theobald　Pontifex；　and　he　had　a　revulsion　of
feeling　as　he　saw　it　being　carried　towards　the　bonfire。　　Still　he
held　his　ground；　and　in　a　few　minutes　when　all　was　over　felt　none
the　worse　for　having　assisted　at　a　ceremony　which；　after　all；　was
prompted　by　a　boyish　love　of　mischief　rather　than　by　rancour。

I　should　say　that　Ernest　had　written　to　his　father；　and　told　him　of
the　unprecedented　way　in　which　he　was　being　treated；　he　even
ventured　to　suggest　that　Theobald　should　interfere　for　his
protection　and　reminded　him　how　the　story　had　been　got　out　of　him；
but　Theobald　had　had　enough　of　Dr　Skinner　for　the　present；　the
burning　of　the　school　list　had　been　a　rebuff　which　did　not　encourage
him　to　meddle　a　second　time　in　the　internal　economics　of
Roughborough。　　He　therefore　replied　that　he　must　either　remove
Ernest　from　Roughborough　altogether；　which　would　for　many　reasons　be
undesirable；　or　trust　to　the　discretion　of　the　head　master　as
regards　the　treatment　he　might　think　best　for　any　of　his　pupils。
Ernest　said　no　more；　he　still　felt　that　it　was　so　discreditable　to
him　to　have　allowed　any　confession　to　be　wrung　from　him；　that　he
could　not　press　the　promised　amnesty　for　himself。

It　was　during　the　〃Mother　Cross　row；〃　as　it　was　long　styled　among
the　boys；　that　a　remarkable　phenomenon　was　witnessed　at
Roughborough。　　I　mean　that　of　the　head　boys　under　certain　conditions
doing　errands　for　their　juniors。　　The　head　boys　had　no　bounds　and
could　go　to　Mrs　Cross's　whenever　they　liked；　they　actually；
therefore；　made　themselves　go…betweens；　and　would　get　anything　from
either　Mrs　Cross's　or　Mrs　Jones's　for　any　boy；　no　matter　how　low　in
the　school；　between　the　hours　of　a　quarter　to　nine　and　nine　in　the
morning；　and　a　quarter　to　six　and　six　in　the　afternoon。　　By　degrees；
however；　the　boys　grew　bolder；　and　the　shops；　though　not　openly
declared　in　bounds　again；　were　tacitly　allowed　to　be　so。



CHAPTER　XLIV



I　may　spare　the　reader　more　details　about　my　hero's　school　days。　　He
rose；　always　in　spite　of　himself；　into　the　Doctor's　form；　and　for
the　last　two　years　or　so　of　his　time　was　among　the　praepostors；
though　he　never　rose　into　the　upper　half　of　them。　　He　did　little；
and　I　think　the　Doctor　rather　gave　him　up　as　a　boy　whom　he　had
better　leave　to　himself；　for　he　rarely　made　him　construe；　and　he
used　to　send　in　his　exercises　or　not；　pretty　much　as　he　liked。　　His
tacit；　unconscious　obstinacy　had　in　time　effected　more　even　than　a
few　bold　sallies　in　the　first　instance　would　have　done。　　To　the　end
of　his　career　his　position　inter　pares　was　what　it　had　been　at　the
beginning；　namely；　among　the　upper　part　of　the　less　reputable　class…
…whether　of　seniors　or　juniorsrather　than　among　the　lower　part　of
the　more　respectable。

Only　once　in　the　whole　course　of　his　school　life　did　he　get　praise
from　Dr　Skinner　for　any　exercise；　and　this　he　has　treasured　as　the
best　example　of　guarded　approval　which　he　has　ever　seen。　　He　had　had
to　write　a　copy　of　Alcaics　on　〃The　dogs　of　the　monks　of　St　Bernard；〃
and　when　the　exercise　was　returned　to　him　he　found　the　Doctor　had
written　on　it：　　〃In　this　copy　of　Alcaicswhich　is　still　excessively
badI　fancy　that　I　can　discern　some　faint　symptoms　of　improvement。〃
Ernest　says　that　if　the　exercise　was　any　better　than　usual　it　must
have　been　by　a　fluke；　for　he　is　sure　that　he　always　liked　dogs；
especially　St　Bernard　dogs；　far　too　much　to　take　any　pleasure　in
writing　Alcaics　about　them。

〃As　I　look　back　upon　it；〃　he　said　to　me　but　the　other　day；　with　a
hearty　laugh；　〃I　respect　myself　more　for　having　never　once　got　the
best　mark　for　an　exercise　than　I　should　do　if　I　had　got　it　every
time　it　could　be　got。　　I　am　glad　nothing　could　make　me　do　Latin　and
Greek　verses；　I　am　glad　Skinner　could　never　get　any　moral　influence
over　me；　I　am　glad　I　was　idle　at　school；　and　I　am　glad　my　father
overtasked　me　as　a　boyotherwise；　likely　enough　I　should　have
acquiesced　in　the　swindle；　and　might　have　written　as　good　a　copy　of
Alcaics　about　the　dogs　of　the　monks　of　St　Bernard　as　my　neighbours；
and　yet　I　don't　know；　for　I　remember　there　was　another　boy；　who　sent
in　a　Latin　copy　of　some　sort；　but　for　his　own　pleasure　he　wrote　the
following　…


The　dogs　of　the　monks　of　St　Bernard　go
To　pick　little　children　out　of　the　snow；
And　around　their　necks　is　the　cordial　gin
Tied　with　a　little　bit　of　bob…bin。


I　should　like　to　have　written　that；　and　I　did　try；　but　I　couldn't。
I　didn't　quite　like　the　last　line；　and　tried　to　mend　it；　but　I
couldn't。〃

I　fancied　I　could　see　traces　of　bitterness　against　the　instructors
of　his　youth　in　Ernest's　manner；　and　said　something　to　this　effect。

〃Oh；　no；〃　he　replied；　still　laughing；　〃no　more　than　St　Anthony　felt
towards　the　devils　who　had　tempted　him；　when　he　met　some　of　them
casually　a　hundred　or　a　couple　of　hundred　years　afterwards。　　Of
course　he　knew　they　were　devils；　but　that　was　all　right　enough；
there　must　be　devils。　　St　Anthony　probably　liked　these　devils　better
than　most　others；　and　for　old　acquaintance　sake　showed　them　as　much
indulgence　as　was　compatible　with　decorum。

〃Besides；　you　know；〃　he　added；　〃St　Anthony　tempted　the　devils　quite
as　much　as　they　tempted　him；　for　his　peculiar　sanctity　was　a　greater
temptation　to　tempt　him　than　they　could　stand。　　Strictly　speaking；
it　was　the　devils　who　were　the　more　to　be　pitied；　for　they　were　led
up　by　St　Anthony　to　be　tempted　and　fell；　whereas　St　Anthony　did　not
fall。　　I　believe　I　was　a　disagreeable　and　unintelligible　boy；　and　if
ever　I　meet　Skinner　there　is　no　one　whom　I　would　shake　hands　with；
or　do　a　good　turn　to　more　readily。〃

At　home　things　went　on　rather　better；　the　Ellen　and　Mother　Cross
rows　sank　slowly　down　upon　the　horizon；　and　even　at　home　he　had
quieter　times　now　that　he　had　become　a　praepostor。　　Nevertheless　the
watchful　eye　and　protecting　hand　were　still　ever　over　him　to　guard
his　comings　in　and　his　goings　out；　and　to　spy　out　all　his　ways。　　Is
it　wonderful　that　the　boy；　though　always　trying　to　keep　up
appearances　as　though　he　were　cheerful　and　contentedand　at　times
actually　being　sowore　often　an　anxious；　jaded　look　when　he　thought
none　were　looking；　which　told　of　an　almost　incessant　conflict
within？

Doubtless　Theobald　saw　these　looks　and　knew　how　to　interpret　them；
but　it　was　his　profession　to　know　how　to　shut　his　eyes　to　things
that　were　inconvenientno　clergyman　could　keep　his　benefice　for　a
month　if　he　could　not　do　this；　besides　he　had　allowed　himself　for　so
many　years　to　say　things　he　ought　not　to　have　said；　and　not　to　say
the　things　he　ought　to　have　said；　that　he　was　little　likely　to　see
anything　that　he　thought　it　more　convenient　not　to　see　unless　he　was
made　to　do　so。

It　was　not　much　that　was　wanted。　　To　make　no　mysteries　where　Nature
has　made　none；　to　bring　his　conscience　under　something　like
reasonable　control；　to　give　Ernest　his　head　a　little　more；　to　ask
fewer　questions；　and　to　give　him　pocket　money　with　a　desire　that　it
should　be　spent　upon　menus　plaisirs　。　。　。

〃Call　that　not　much　indeed；〃　laughed　Ernest；　as