the way of all flesh-第38节

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the　legacy　his　grandfather　had　left　him；　for　if　it　was　his　only
through　a　mistake；　how　could　he　keep　it？

During　the　rest　of　the　half　year　Ernest　was　listless　and　unhappy。
He　was　very　fond　of　some　of　his　schoolfellows；　but　afraid　of　those
whom　he　believed　to　be　better　than　himself；　and　prone　to　idealise
everyone　into　being　his　superior　except　those　who　were　obviously　a
good　deal　beneath　him。　　He　held　himself　much　too　cheap；　and　because
he　was　without　that　physical　strength　and　vigour　which　he　so　much
coveted；　and　also　because　he　knew　he　shirked　his　lessons；　he
believed　that　he　was　without　anything　which　could　deserve　the　name
of　a　good　quality；　he　was　naturally　bad；　and　one　of　those　for　whom
there　was　no　place　for　repentance；　though　he　sought　it　even　with
tears。　　So　he　shrank　out　of　sight　of　those　whom　in　his　boyish　way　he
idolised；　never　for　a　moment　suspecting　that　he　might　have
capacities　to　the　full　as　high　as　theirs　though　of　a　different　kind；
and　fell　in　more　with　those　who　were　reputed　of　the　baser　sort；　with
whom　he　could　at　any　rate　be　upon　equal　terms。　　Before　the　end　of
the　half　year　he　had　dropped　from　the　estate　to　which　he　had　been
raised　during　his　aunt's　stay　at　Roughborough；　and　his　old
dejection；　varied；　however；　with　bursts　of　conceit　rivalling　those
of　his　mother；　resumed　its　sway　over　him。　　〃Pontifex；〃　said　Dr
Skinner；　who　had　fallen　upon　him　in　hall　one　day　like　a　moral
landslip；　before　he　had　time　to　escape；　〃do　you　never　laugh？　　Do　you
always　look　so　preternaturally　grave？〃　　The　doctor　had　not　meant　to
be　unkind；　but　the　boy　turned　crimson；　and　escaped。

There　was　one　place　only　where　he　was　happy；　and　that　was　in　the　old
church　of　St　Michael；　when　his　friend　the　organist　was　practising。
About　this　time　cheap　editions　of　the　great　oratorios　began　to
appear；　and　Ernest　got　them　all　as　soon　as　they　were　published；　he
would　sometimes　sell　a　school…book　to　a　second…hand　dealer；　and　buy
a　number　or　two　of　the　〃Messiah；〃　or　the　〃Creation；〃　or　〃Elijah；〃
with　the　proceeds。　　This　was　simply　cheating　his　papa　and　mamma；　but
Ernest　was　falling　low　againor　thought　he　wasand　he　wanted　the
music　much；　and　the　Sallust；　or　whatever　it　was；　little。　　Sometimes
the　organist　would　go　home；　leaving　his　keys　with　Ernest；　so　that　he
could　play　by　himself　and　lock　up　the　organ　and　the　church　in　time
to　get　back　for　calling　over。　　At　other　times；　while　his　friend　was
playing；　he　would　wander　round　the　church；　looking　at　the　monuments
and　the　old　stained　glass　windows；　enchanted　as　regards　both　ears
and　eyes；　at　once。　　Once　the　old　rector　got　hold　of　him　as　he　was
watching　a　new　window　being　put　in；　which　the　rector　had　bought　in
Germanythe　work；　it　was　supposed；　of　Albert　Durer。　　He　questioned
Ernest；　and　finding　that　he　was　fond　of　music；　he　said　in　his　old
trembling　voice　（for　he　was　over　eighty）；　〃Then　you　should　have
known　Dr　Burney　who　wrote　the　history　of　music。　　I　knew　him
exceedingly　well　when　I　was　a　young　man。〃　　That　made　Ernest's　heart
beat；　for　he　knew　that　Dr　Burney；　when　a　boy　at　school　at　Chester；
used　to　break　bounds　that　he　might　watch　Handel　smoking　his　pipe　in
the　Exchange　coffee　houseand　now　he　was　in　the　presence　of　one
who；　if　he　had　not　seen　Handel　himself；　had　at　least　seen　those　who
had　seen　him。

These　were　oases　in　his　desert；　but；　as　a　general　rule；　the　boy
looked　thin　and　pale；　and　as　though　he　had　a　secret　which　depressed
him；　which　no　doubt　he　had；　but　for　which　I　cannot　blame　him。　　He
rose；　in　spite　of　himself；　higher　in　the　school；　but　fell　ever　into
deeper　and　deeper　disgrace　with　the　masters；　and　did　not　gain　in　the
opinion　of　those　boys　about　whom　he　was　persuaded　that　they　could
assuredly　never　know　what　it　was　to　have　a　secret　weighing　upon
their　minds。　　This　was　what　Ernest　felt　so　keenly；　he　did　not　much
care　about　the　boys　who　liked　him；　and　idolised　some　who　kept　him　as
far　as　possible　at　a　distance；　but　this　is　pretty　much　the　case　with
all　boys　everywhere。

At　last　things　reached　a　crisis；　below　which　they　could　not　very
well　go；　for　at　the　end　of　the　half　year　but　one　after　his　aunt's
death；　Ernest　brought　back　a　document　in　his　portmanteau；　which
Theobald　stigmatised　as　〃infamous　and　outrageous。〃　　I　need　hardly
say　I　am　alluding　to　his　school　bill。

This　document　was　always　a　source　of　anxiety　to　Ernest；　for　it　was
gone　into　with　scrupulous　care；　and　he　was　a　good　deal　cross…
examined　about　it。　　He　would　sometimes　〃write　in〃　for　articles
necessary　for　his　education；　such　as　a　portfolio；　or　a　dictionary；
and　sell　the　same；　as　I　have　explained；　in　order　to　eke　out　his
pocket　money；　probably　to　buy　either　music　or　tobacco。　　These　frauds
were　sometimes；　as　Ernest　thought；　in　imminent　danger　of　being
discovered；　and　it　was　a　load　off　his　breast　when　the　cross…
examination　was　safely　over。　　This　time　Theobald　had　made　a　great
fuss　about　the　extras；　but　had　grudgingly　passed　them；　it　was
another　matter；　however；　with　the　character　and　the　moral
statistics；　with　which　the　bill　concluded。

The　page　on　which　these　details　were　to　be　found　was　as　follows：


REPORT　OF　THE　CONDUCT　AND　PROGRESS　OF　ERNEST　PONTIFEX。
UPPER　FIFTH　FORM；　HALF　YEAR　ENDING　MIDSUMMER　1851

ClassicsIdle；　listless　and　unimproving。
Mathematics　〃　〃　〃
Divinity　〃　〃　〃
Conduct　in　house。Orderly。
General　ConductNot　satisfactory；　on　account　of　his　great
unpunctuality　and　inattention　to　duties。
Monthly　merit　money　1s。　6d。　6d。　0d。　6d。　　Total　2s。　6d。
Number　of　merit　marks　2　0　1　1　0　Total　4
Number　of　penal　marks　26　20　25　30　25　Total　126
Number　of　extra　penals　9　6　10　12　11　Total　48
I　recommend　that　his　pocket　money　be　made　to　depend　upon　his　merit
money。
S。　SKINNER；　Headmaster。



CHAPTER　XXXVIII



Ernest　was　thus　in　disgrace　from　the　beginning　of　the　holidays；　but
an　incident　soon　occurred　which　led　him　into　delinquencies　compared
with　which　all　his　previous　sins　were　venial。

Among　the　servants　at　the　Rectory　was　a　remarkably　pretty　girl　named
Ellen。　　She　came　from　Devonshire；　and　was　the　daughter　of　a
fisherman　who　had　been　drowned　when　she　was　a　child。　　Her　mother　set
up　a　small　shop　in　the　village　where　her　husband　had　lived；　and　just
managed　to　make　a　living。　　Ellen　remained　with　her　till　she　was
fourteen；　when　she　first　went　out　to　service。　　Four　years　later；
when　she　was　about　eighteen；　but　so　well　grown　that　she　might　have
passed　for　twenty；　she　had　been　strongly　recommended　to　Christina；
who　was　then　in　want　of　a　housemaid；　and　had　now　been　at　Battersby
about　twelve　months。

As　I　have　said　the　girl　was　remarkably　pretty；　she　looked　the
perfection　of　health　and　good　temper；　indeed　there　was　a　serene
expression　upon　her　face　which　captivated　almost　all　who　saw　her；
she　looked　as　if　matters　had　always　gone　well　with　her　and　were
always　going　to　do　so；　and　as　if　no　conceivable　combination　of
circumstances　could　put　her　for　long　together　out　of　temper　either
with　herself　or　with　anyone　else。　　Her　complexion　was　clear；　but
high；　her　eyes　were　grey　and　beautifully　shaped；　her　lips　were　full
and　restful；　with　something　of　an　Egyptian　Sphinx…like　character
about　them。　　When　I　learned　that　she　came　from　Devonshire　I　fancied
I　saw　a　strain　of　far　away　Egyptian　blood　in　her；　for　I　had　heard；
though　I　know　not　what　foundation　there　was　for　the　story；　that　the
Egyptians　made　settlements　on　the　coast　of　Devonshire　and　Cornwall
long　before　the　Romans　conquered　Britain。　　Her　hair　was　a　rich
brown；　and　her　figureof　about　the　middle　heightperfect；　but
erring　if　at　all　on　the　side　of　robustness。　　Altogether　she　was　one
of　those　girls　about　whom　one　is　inclined　to　wonder　how　they　can
remain　unmarried　a　week　or　a　day　longer。

Her　face　（as　indeed　faces　generally　are；　though　I　grant　they　lie
sometimes）　was　a　fair　index　to　her　disposition。　　She　was　good　nature
itself；　and　everyone　in　the　house；　not　excluding　I　believe　even
Theobald　himself　after　a　fashion；　was　fond　of　her。　　As　for　Christina
she　took　the　very　warmest　interest　in　her；　and　used　to　have　her　into
the　dining…room　twice　a　week；　and　prepare　her　for　confirmation　（for
by　some　accident　she　had　never　been　confirmed）　by　explaining　to　her
the　geography　of　Palestine　and　the　routes　taken　by　St　Paul　on　his
various　journeys　in　Asia　Minor。

When　Bishop　Treadwell　did　actually　come　down　to　Battersby　and　hold　a
confirmation　there　（Christina　had　her　wish；　he　slept　at　Battersby；
and　she　had　a　grand　dinner　party　for　him；　and　called　him　〃My　lord〃
several　times）；　he　was　so　much　struck　with　her　pretty　face　and
modest　demeanour　when　he　laid　his　hands　upon　her　that　he　asked
Christina　about　her。　　When　she　replied　that　Ellen　was　one　of　her　own
servants；　the　bishop　seemed；　so　she　thought　or　chose　to　think；　quite
pleased　that　so　pretty　a　girl　should　have　found　so　exceptionally
good　a　situation。

Ernest　used　to　get　up　early　during　the　holidays　so　that　he　might
play　the　piano　before　breakfast　without　disturbing　his　papa　and
mammaor　rather；　perhaps；　without　being　disturbed　by　them。　　Ellen
would　generally　be　there　sweeping　the　drawing…room　floor　and　dusting
while　he　was　playing；　and　the　boy；　who　was　ready　to　make　friends
with　most　people；　soon　became　very　fond　of　her