the way of all flesh-第25节

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several　natural　children〃　he　had　therefore　asked　his　governess　what
a　natural　child　waswere　not　all　children　natural？

〃Oh；　my　dear；〃　said　she；　〃a　natural　child　is　a　child　a　person　has
before　he　is　married。〃　　On　this　it　seemed　to　follow　logically　that
if　John　of　Gaunt　had　had　children　before　he　was　married；　he；　Ernest
Pontifex；　might　have　them　also；　and　he　would　be　obliged　to　me　if　I
would　tell　him　what　he　had　better　do　under　the　circumstances。

I　enquired　how　long　ago　he　had　made　this　discovery。　　He　said　about　a
fortnight；　and　he　did　not　know　where　to　look　for　the　child；　for　it
might　come　at　any　moment。　　〃You　know；〃　he　said；　〃babies　come　so
suddenly；　one　goes　to　bed　one　night　and　next　morning　there　is　a
baby。　　Why；　it　might　die　of　cold　if　we　are　not　on　the　look…out　for
it。　　I　hope　it　will　be　a　boy。〃

〃And　you　have　told　your　governess　about　this？〃

〃Yes；　but　she　puts　me　off　and　does　not　help　me：　　she　says　it　will
not　come　for　many　years；　and　she　hopes　not　then。〃

〃Are　you　quite　sure　that　you　have　not　made　any　mistake　in　all　this？〃

〃Oh；　no；　because　Mrs　Burne；　you　know；　called　here　a　few　days　ago；
and　I　was　sent　for　to　be　looked　at。　　And　mamma　held　me　out　at　arm's
length　and　said；　'Is　he　Mr　Pontifex's　child；　Mrs　Burne；　or　is　he
mine？'　　Of　course；　she　couldn't　have　said　this　if　papa　had　not　had
some　of　the　children　himself。　　I　did　think　the　gentleman　had　all　the
boys　and　the　lady　all　the　girls；　but　it　can't　be　like　this；　or　else
mamma　would　not　have　asked　Mrs　Burne　to　guess；　but　then　Mrs　Burne
said；　'Oh；　he's　Mr　Pontifex's　child　OF　COURSE；'　and　I　didn't　quite
know　what　she　meant　by　saying　'of　course'：　　it　seemed　as　though　I
was　right　in　thinking　that　the　husband　has　all　the　boys　and　the　wife
all　the　girls；　I　wish　you　would　explain　to　me　all　about　it。〃

This　I　could　hardly　do；　so　I　changed　the　conversation；　after
reassuring　him　as　best　I　could。



CHAPTER　XXV



Three　or　four　years　after　the　birth　of　her　daughter；　Christina　had
had　one　more　child。　　She　had　never　been　strong　since　she　married；
and　had　a　presentiment　that　she　should　not　survive　this　last
confinement。　　She　accordingly　wrote　the　following　letter；　which　was
to　be　given；　as　she　endorsed　upon　it；　to　her　sons　when　Ernest　was
sixteen　years　old。　　It　reached　him　on　his　mother's　death　many　years
later；　for　it　was　the　baby　who　died　now；　and　not　Christina。　　It　was
found　among　papers　which　she　had　repeatedly　and　carefully　arranged；
with　the　seal　already　broken。　　This；　I　am　afraid；　shows　that
Christina　had　read　it　and　thought　it　too　creditable　to　be　destroyed
when　the　occasion　that　had　called　it　forth　had　gone　by。　　It　is　as
follows　…


〃BATTERSBY；　March　15th；　1841。

〃My　Two　Dear　Boys；When　this　is　put　into　your　hands　will　you　try　to
bring　to　mind　the　mother　whom　you　lost　in　your　childhood；　and　whom；
I　fear；　you　will　almost　have　forgotten？　　You；　Ernest；　will　remember
her　best；　for　you　are　past　five　years　old；　and　the　many；　many　times
that　she　has　taught　you　your　prayers　and　hymns　and　sums　and　told　you
stories；　and　our　happy　Sunday　evenings　will　not　quite　have　passed
from　your　mind；　and　you；　Joey；　though　only　four；　will　perhaps
recollect　some　of　these　things。　　My　dear；　dear　boys；　for　the　sake　of
that　mother　who　loved　you　very　dearlyand　for　the　sake　of　your　own
happiness　for　ever　and　everattend　to　and　try　to　remember；　and　from
time　to　time　read　over　again　the　last　words　she　can　ever　speak　to
you。　　When　I　think　about　leaving　you　all；　two　things　press　heavily
upon　me：　　one；　your　father's　sorrow　（for　you；　my　darlings；　after
missing　me　a　little　while；　will　soon　forget　your　loss）；　the　other；
the　everlasting　welfare　of　my　children。　　I　know　how　long　and　deep
the　former　will　be；　and　I　know　that　he　will　look　to　his　children　to
be　almost　his　only　earthly　comfort。　　You　know　（for　I　am　certain　that
it　will　have　been　so）；　how　he　has　devoted　his　life　to　you　and　taught
you　and　laboured　to　lead　you　to　all　that　is　right　and　good。　　Oh；
then；　be　sure　that　you　ARE　his　comforts。　　Let　him　find　you　obedient；
affectionate　and　attentive　to　his　wishes；　upright；　self…denying　and
diligent；　let　him　never　blush　for　or　grieve　over　the　sins　and
follies　of　those　who　owe　him　such　a　debt　of　gratitude；　and　whose
first　duty　it　is　to　study　his　happiness。　　You　have　both　of　you　a
name　which　must　not　be　disgraced；　a　father　and　a　grandfather　of　whom
to　show　yourselves　worthy；　your　respectability　and　well…doing　in
life　rest　mainly　with　yourselves；　but　far；　far　beyond　earthly
respectability　and　well…doing；　and　compared　with　which　they　are　as
nothing；　your　eternal　happiness　rests　with　yourselves。　　You　know
your　duty；　but　snares　and　temptations　from　without　beset　you；　and
the　nearer　you　approach　to　manhood　the　more　strongly　will　you　feel
this。　　With　God's　help；　with　God's　word；　and　with　humble　hearts　you
will　stand　in　spite　of　everything；　but　should　you　leave　off　seeking
in　earnest　for　the　first；　and　applying　to　the　second；　should　you
learn　to　trust　in　yourselves；　or　to　the　advice　and　example　of　too
many　around　you；　you　will；　you　must　fall。　　Oh；　'let　God　be　true　and
every　man　a　liar。'　　He　says　you　cannot　serve　Him　and　Mammon。　　He
says　that　strait　is　the　gate　that　leads　to　eternal　life。　　Many　there
are　who　seek　to　widen　it；　they　will　tell　you　that　such　and　such
self…indulgences　are　but　venial　offencesthat　this　and　that　worldly
compliance　is　excusable　and　even　necessary。　　The　thing　CANNOT　BE；
for　in　a　hundred　and　a　hundred　places　He　tells　you　solook　to　your
Bibles　and　seek　there　whether　such　counsel　is　trueand　if　not；　oh；
'halt　not　between　two　opinions；'　if　God　is　the　Lord　follow　Him；　only
be　strong　and　of　a　good　courage；　and　He　will　never　leave　you　nor
forsake　you。　　Remember；　there　is　not　in　the　Bible　one　law　for　the
rich；　and　one　for　the　poorone　for　the　educated　and　one　for　the
ignorant。　　To　ALL　there　is　but　one　thing　needful。　　ALL　are　to　be
living　to　God　and　their　fellow…creatures；　and　not　to　themselves。
ALL　must　seek　first　the　Kingdom　of　God　and　His　righteousnessmust
DENY　THEMSELVES；　be　pure　and　chaste　and　charitable　in　the　fullest
and　widest　senseall；　'forgetting　those　things　that　are　behind；'
must　'press　forward　towards　the　mark；　for　the　prize　of　the　high
calling　of　God。'

〃And　now　I　will　add　but　two　things　more。　　Be　true　through　life　to
each　other；　love　as　only　brothers　should　do；　strengthen；　warn；
encourage　one　another；　and　let　who　will　be　against　you；　let　each
feel　that　in　his　brother　he　has　a　firm　and　faithful　friend　who　will
be　so　to　the　end；　and；　oh！　be　kind　and　watchful　over　your　dear
sister；　without　mother　or　sisters　she　will　doubly　need　her　brothers'
love　and　tenderness　and　confidence。　　I　am　certain　she　will　seek
them；　and　will　love　you　and　try　to　make　you　happy；　be　sure　then　that
you　do　not　fail　her；　and　remember；　that　were　she　to　lose　her　father
and　remain　unmarried；　she　would　doubly　need　protectors。　　To　you；
then；　I　especially　commend　her。　　Oh！　my　three　darling　children；　be
true　to　each　other；　your　Father；　and　your　God。　　May　He　guide　and
bless　you；　and　grant　that　in　a　better　and　happier　world　I　and　mine
may　meet　again。Your　most　affectionate　mother；

CHRISTINA　PONTIFEX。〃


From　enquiries　I　have　made；　I　have　satisfied　myself　that　most
mothers　write　letters　like　this　shortly　before　their　confinements；
and　that　fifty　per　cent。　keep　them　afterwards；　as　Christina　did。



CHAPTER　XXVI



The　foregoing　letter　shows　how　much　greater　was　Christina's　anxiety
for　the　eternal　than　for　the　temporal　welfare　of　her　sons。　　One
would　have　thought　she　had　sowed　enough　of　such　religious　wild　oats
by　this　time；　but　she　had　plenty　still　to　sow。　　To　me　it　seems　that
those　who　are　happy　in　this　world　are　better　and　more　lovable　people
than　those　who　are　not；　and　that　thus　in　the　event　of　a　Resurrection
and　Day　of　Judgement；　they　will　be　the　most　likely　to　be　deemed
worthy　of　a　heavenly　mansion。　　Perhaps　a　dim　unconscious　perception
of　this　was　the　reason　why　Christina　was　so　anxious　for　Theobald's
earthly　happiness；　or　was　it　merely　due　to　a　conviction　that　his
eternal　welfare　was　so　much　a　matter　of　course；　that　it　only
remained　to　secure　his　earthly　happiness？　　He　was　to　〃find　his　sons
obedient；　affectionate；　attentive　to　his　wishes；　self…denying　and
diligent；〃　a　goodly　string　forsooth　of　all　the　virtues　most
convenient　to　parents；　he　was　never　to　have　to　blush　for　the　follies
of　those　〃who　owed　him　such　a　debt　of　gratitude；〃　and　〃whose　first
duty　it　was　to　study　his　happiness。〃　　How　like　maternal　solicitude
is　this！　　Solicitude　for　the　most　part　lest　the　offspring　should
come　to　have　wishes　and　feelings　of　its　own；　which　may　occasion　many
difficulties；　fancied　or　real。　　It　is　this　that　is　at　the　bottom　of
the　whole　mischief；　but　whether　this　last　proposition　is　granted　or
no；　at　any　rate　we　observe　that　Christina　had　a　sufficiently　keen
appreciation　of　the　duties　of　children　towards　their　parents；　and
felt　the　task　of　fulfilling　them　adequately　to　be　so　difficult　that
she　was　very　doubtful　how　far　Ernest　and　Joey　would　succeed　in
mastering　it。　　It　is　plain　in　fact　that　her　supposed　parting　glance
upon　them　was　one　of　suspicion。　　But　there　was　no　suspicion　of
Theobald；　that　he　sh