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pounds¡¡each¡¡wrapped¡¡round¡¡us¡¡in¡¡Bank¡¡of¡¡England¡¡notes£»¡¡and¡¡wake¡¡up£»
as¡¡the¡¡sphex¡¡wasp¡¡does£»¡¡to¡¡find¡¡that¡¡its¡¡papa¡¡and¡¡mamma¡¡have¡¡not
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account£¿
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Battersbyfor¡¡Mrs¡¡John¡¡Pontifex¡¡was¡¡safely¡¡delivered¡¡of¡¡a¡¡boy¡£¡¡¡¡A
year¡¡or¡¡so¡¡later¡¡still£»¡¡George¡¡Pontifex¡¡was¡¡himself¡¡struck¡¡down
suddenly¡¡by¡¡a¡¡fit¡¡of¡¡paralysis£»¡¡much¡¡as¡¡his¡¡mother¡¡had¡¡been£»¡¡but¡¡he
did¡¡not¡¡see¡¡the¡¡years¡¡of¡¡his¡¡mother¡£¡¡¡¡When¡¡his¡¡will¡¡was¡¡opened£»¡¡it
was¡¡found¡¡that¡¡an¡¡original¡¡bequest¡¡of¡¡20£»000¡¡pounds¡¡to¡¡Theobald
himself¡¡£¨over¡¡and¡¡above¡¡the¡¡sum¡¡that¡¡had¡¡been¡¡settled¡¡upon¡¡him¡¡and
Christina¡¡at¡¡the¡¡time¡¡of¡¡his¡¡marriage£©¡¡had¡¡been¡¡cut¡¡down¡¡to¡¡17£»500
pounds¡¡when¡¡Mr¡¡Pontifex¡¡left¡¡¡¨something¡¨¡¡to¡¡Ernest¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡¡¨something¡¨
proved¡¡to¡¡be¡¡2500¡¡pounds£»¡¡which¡¡was¡¡to¡¡accumulate¡¡in¡¡the¡¡hands¡¡of
trustees¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡rest¡¡of¡¡the¡¡property¡¡went¡¡to¡¡John¡¡Pontifex£»¡¡except
that¡¡each¡¡of¡¡the¡¡daughters¡¡was¡¡left¡¡with¡¡about¡¡15£»000¡¡pounds¡¡over
and¡¡above¡¡5000¡¡pounds¡¡a¡¡piece¡¡which¡¡they¡¡inherited¡¡from¡¡their
mother¡£
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truth¡£¡¡¡¡Nevertheless£»¡¡what¡¡right¡¡had¡¡Theobald¡¡to¡¡complain£¿
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pocket¡£¡¡¡¡On¡¡the¡¡other¡¡hand¡¡the¡¡father¡¡doubtless¡¡argued¡¡that¡¡he¡¡had
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right¡¡to¡¡do¡¡what¡¡he¡¡liked¡¡with¡¡his¡¡own¡¡money£»¡¡if¡¡Theobald¡¡chose¡¡to
indulge¡¡in¡¡unwarrantable¡¡expectations¡¡that¡¡was¡¡no¡¡affair¡¡of¡¡his£»¡¡as
it¡¡was¡¡he¡¡was¡¡providing¡¡for¡¡him¡¡liberally£»¡¡and¡¡if¡¡he¡¡did¡¡take¡¡2500
pounds¡¡of¡¡Theobald's¡¡share¡¡he¡¡was¡¡still¡¡leaving¡¡it¡¡to¡¡Theobald's
son£»¡¡which£»¡¡of¡¡course£»¡¡was¡¡much¡¡the¡¡same¡¡thing¡¡in¡¡the¡¡end¡£
No¡¡one¡¡can¡¡deny¡¡that¡¡the¡¡testator¡¡had¡¡strict¡¡right¡¡upon¡¡his¡¡side£»
nevertheless¡¡the¡¡reader¡¡will¡¡agree¡¡with¡¡me¡¡that¡¡Theobald¡¡and
Christina¡¡might¡¡not¡¡have¡¡considered¡¡the¡¡christening¡¡dinner¡¡so¡¡great
a¡¡success¡¡if¡¡all¡¡the¡¡facts¡¡had¡¡been¡¡before¡¡them¡£¡¡¡¡Mr¡¡Pontifex¡¡had
during¡¡his¡¡own¡¡life¡time¡¡set¡¡up¡¡a¡¡monument¡¡in¡¡Elmhurst¡¡Church¡¡to¡¡the
memory¡¡of¡¡his¡¡wife¡¡£¨a¡¡slab¡¡with¡¡urns¡¡and¡¡cherubs¡¡like¡¡illegitimate
children¡¡of¡¡King¡¡George¡¡the¡¡Fourth£»¡¡and¡¡all¡¡the¡¡rest¡¡of¡¡it£©£»¡¡and¡¡had
left¡¡space¡¡for¡¡his¡¡own¡¡epitaph¡¡underneath¡¡that¡¡of¡¡his¡¡wife¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡do
not¡¡know¡¡whether¡¡it¡¡was¡¡written¡¡by¡¡one¡¡of¡¡his¡¡children£»¡¡or¡¡whether
they¡¡got¡¡some¡¡friend¡¡to¡¡write¡¡it¡¡for¡¡them¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡do¡¡not¡¡believe¡¡that
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an¡¡idea¡¡how¡¡good¡¡a¡¡man¡¡Mr¡¡Pontifex¡¡had¡¡been£»¡¡but¡¡at¡¡first¡¡I¡¡found¡¡it
hard¡¡to¡¡think¡¡that¡¡it¡¡was¡¡free¡¡from¡¡guile¡£
The¡¡epitaph¡¡begins¡¡by¡¡giving¡¡dates¡¡of¡¡birth¡¡and¡¡death£»¡¡then¡¡sets¡¡out
that¡¡the¡¡deceased¡¡was¡¡for¡¡many¡¡years¡¡head¡¡of¡¡the¡¡firm¡¡of¡¡Fairlie¡¡and
Pontifex£»¡¡and¡¡also¡¡resident¡¡in¡¡the¡¡parish¡¡of¡¡Elmhurst¡£¡¡¡¡There¡¡is¡¡not
a¡¡syllable¡¡of¡¡either¡¡praise¡¡or¡¡dispraise¡£¡¡¡¡The¡¡last¡¡lines¡¡run¡¡as
follows£º¡
HE¡¡NOW¡¡LIES¡¡AWAITING¡¡A¡¡JOYFUL¡¡RESURRECTION
AT¡¡THE¡¡LAST¡¡DAY¡£
WHAT¡¡MANNER¡¡OF¡¡MAN¡¡HE¡¡WAS
THAT¡¡DAY¡¡WILL¡¡DISCOVER¡£
CHAPTER¡¡XIX
This¡¡much£»¡¡however£»¡¡we¡¡may¡¡say¡¡in¡¡the¡¡meantime£»¡¡that¡¡having¡¡lived¡¡to
be¡¡nearly¡¡seventy¡three¡¡years¡¡old¡¡and¡¡died¡¡rich¡¡he¡¡must¡¡have¡¡been¡¡in
very¡¡fair¡¡harmony¡¡with¡¡his¡¡surroundings¡£¡¡¡¡I¡¡have¡¡heard¡¡it¡¡said
sometimes¡¡that¡¡such¡¡and¡¡such¡¡a¡¡person's¡¡life¡¡was¡¡a¡¡lie£º¡¡¡¡but¡¡no
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is¡¡at¡¡worst¡¡nine¡tenths¡¡of¡¡it¡¡true¡£
Mr¡¡Pontifex's¡¡life¡¡not¡¡only¡¡continued¡¡a¡¡long¡¡time£»¡¡but¡¡was
prosperous¡¡right¡¡up¡¡to¡¡the¡¡end¡£¡¡¡¡Is¡¡not¡¡this¡¡enough£¿¡¡¡¡Being¡¡in¡¡this
world¡¡is¡¡it¡¡not¡¡our¡¡most¡¡obvious¡¡business¡¡to¡¡make¡¡the¡¡most¡¡of¡¡itto
observe¡¡what¡¡things¡¡do¡¡bona¡¡fide¡¡tend¡¡to¡¡long¡¡life¡¡and¡¡comfort£»¡¡and
to¡¡act¡¡accordingly£¿¡¡¡¡All¡¡animals£»¡¡except¡¡man£»¡¡know¡¡that¡¡the
principal¡¡business¡¡of¡¡life¡¡is¡¡to¡¡enjoy¡¡itand¡¡they¡¡do¡¡enjoy¡¡it¡¡as
much¡¡as¡¡man¡¡and¡¡other¡¡circumstances¡¡will¡¡allow¡£¡¡¡¡He¡¡has¡¡spent¡¡his
life¡¡best¡¡who¡¡has¡¡enjoyed¡¡it¡¡most£»¡¡God¡¡will¡¡take¡¡care¡¡that¡¡we¡¡do¡¡not
enjoy¡¡it¡¡any¡¡more¡¡than¡¡is¡¡good¡¡for¡¡us¡£¡¡¡¡If¡¡Mr¡¡Pontifex¡¡is¡¡to¡¡be
blamed¡¡it¡¡is¡¡for¡¡not¡¡having¡¡eaten¡¡and¡¡drunk¡¡less¡¡and¡¡thus¡¡